MikkiJoe,

I agree with you that maybe you should concentrate on small goals. Like 10 lb increments and just try to stay there for awhile.

That is what I am doing with the "I will never" statements. I have lost 20 pounds. I look and feel way better than I did when I weighed 175. I look a lot better than when I weighed 165 plus I can fit into many more clothes. If I never lose another pound, I will be much better off at 155 than 165 or 175. If you stay at 288 for 6 months, your set point will reset and you will be much better off than when you weighed 331 or 299.

Another thing that I am sure you've read is that losing 10% of your body weight is a huge health improvement. You have lost your 1st 10%, maybe work on the next 10%, which would be about 268. And then never go above that as a goal, until you can face going on.

I know it can be so discouraging when you don't see the numbers that your daughter and your husband are pulling. You need to hang in there for them as well.

You know what torqued me off? My daughters MIL was overweight with many health issues. I could always say, "well, at least, I don't weigh as much as her!" Well she went on IP and now is a size 8. I am officially the chubbiest grandma in the family on all sides. There are four grandmas. Well I'll be damned if I am going to hold that distinction.

At least at 155, I can find something to wear when I have to be around my "rivals". At 175, I would just stay home. Then the grandkiddies are sad. ('Cause I am the favorite)

Just another thought I want to add Mikkijoe, is that whether it be this food plan or another one, the weight loss in order to be healthy is exactly what you're doing... So if you like this plan, and it sounds like you do, hang in there...

I appreciate all your help. You have no idea.

Although doing this with the family I feel so Alone. Just saying those words seems a little 'weight lifting'

Going to plan out the weeks meals tonight since it is a leftover night and we have a little free time after work

Going to set some short term goals, I do like the % goals, especially since each goal gets a little smaller! Whooo Hoo!

Probably better start upping my Vitamin D3........ I am not normally this emotional and this down. I need to nip it in the bud, it actually really scares me to feel hopeless like this

Thanks to all!

Another word of praise to all of you working primals...

I do not know how you guys work hard all day, come home to kids and hungry husbands and manage to stay on plan. I would have bailed long ago. I admire each and every one of you.

I work from home for my husband. He gets a little bossy and he doesn't get supper. I rule the roost.

I have put my meals and exercise first to anything workwise. He doesn't like it sometimes but I think he is scared of me. lol

Anywho, I could never be this far along with all the responsibities and distractions that you all have.

Give yourself a great big pat on the back. Someday you will be 64 like me and it will be a lot easier.

This cracked me up -- nothing like a little competition between the grandmas. You go get 'er Sandy! Of course, you're the favorite.

There was someone who posted frequently on another 3FC board who had this line in her signature: "I can't lose 120 lbs, it's too hard...but I can lose 10 lbs 12 times...that I know I can do." You can do the % game several times.

The hopelessness is scary to see in one's self.
I HOPE that you can see that you've overcome the biggest block of hopelessness by getting started losing weight in 2009. The inertia of the status quo and "Why bother?" and "I can't" is a tremendous restraining force. And you, my dear, overcame that all on your own. You had to make the choice that you were worth it (You are!) and that you were going to risk trying one more time. Honor that spirit, that vision, that amazing woman; you won't go wrong.

Sandy -- it's funny ... I would be pretty darn happy to end up where you started! In fact, my doctor told me I should probably stop losing weight at around 175! So perspective is everything, isn't it? (I must admit, I have a relatively small 35" waist! But my bust and hips and thighs ... arghghgh Very large hourglass, I guess, would be the correct way to put it.)

Hi Mikkijoe -- I call that feeling of hopelessness my "death spiral". When I first started my plan, I had tried to lose weight (and failed) so many times I just felt hopeless also. So, looking back, I did something really smart although I didn't know that at the time ... I hired a personal trainer and started lifting weights.

The reason it was smart is that it was something I knew I could accomplish. I could go see the personal trainer twice a week and he would whip my butt. I could do the cardio 3x a week. I could do it.

I did not worry about losing weight, in fact, when the trainer asked me about weight goals I remember getting horribly emotional (aka crying, lol) and saying I didn't want to set any because I didn't want to set myself up for failure. I was so fragile emotionally, I didn't want any whiff of failure to send me back into that death spiral.

So, I guess what I'm saying, is do something you know you can do. That will get success under your belt (oh, BTW, 15 pounds is a great success!)

Also -- if I were you -- I would ditch the 80/20 rule while on the active weight loss portion of the plan. I would just go 100%. But that's just me. Hugs to you. CJ

Mikkijoe,

We've ALL been where you are. I often get down to 163, and then say "oh well, this is good enough" when really it isn't.

My goal this year on new year's was to lose ten pounds and keep it off. I kept losing 15 pounds and gaining it back, so I said I'll set a goal I can reach, but then the challenge will be not gaining it back. So far, so good.

Anyway, just saying it's good to celebrate how far you've come, and to remember that NOT GAINING is an amazing feat, so 15 pounds in two months is AWESOME! Really take the time to mentally pat yourself on the back for heading in the right direction (DOWN) and appreciate how hard that is!

You can do it!

CJ, I have an unusual body in the sense that I am smaller boned, very little muscle and have been measured on a dexa scan as 48% fat at 172. My scan pictures are hilarious. So I need to get a lot of fat weight off, which means getting down to 125-130, which I weighed in my late 20s to early 40s.

I truly want to lift weights when I am at goal for bone density. Many overweight folks that I see have good muscalature under the fat and they do not have to get down that low.

I know I should be lifting now but I cannot handle gaining weight. Talk about a death spiral. I was in a research group where they were testing exercise in menopausal women vs. bone density. I started at 172-48% fat. I exercise and lifted like a mad women and through the whole trial, I lost only 10 pounds but I looked very much better. But... the trainers kept harping on me that I should be losing more weight, questioning what I was eating (there was also a diet component to the study, which I was adhering to). They made me feel like I wasn't "keeping" up. As a older wiser women, I just shrugged off their comments, but it made me wonder.

When I was a teenager, I tried to stuff my face with everything to try to get above 102. So I am one of those people who have an internal image of skinny and who is mortified to see my fat self in windows and mirrors.

I also have read that fat, especially abdomnial fat has a life of its own. It radically changes hormone function etc. So my large waist is really deadly.

Your hour-glass figure tendency is perfect!!! Have you done before and plan after pictures? I intend to post mine when its time. I wager to bet that we will look similar at very different weights!

Alright.......new day, trying to put a new face on! Crap, that just reminds me, I did not put my make up on before I left the house LOL and the drive was not cooperative to put it on while I was driving to drop my daughter at the high school and then go to work..........which is when I usually do my makeup!

Ok, my literal face is on, now to work on the attitude!

Next mini goal is 28 pounds.....10%
Mini goal #2 26 lbs
Mini goal #3 23 bls
Mini goal #4 21 lbs
Mini goal #5 19 lbs

And my immediate reward within that 10% is to spend $5 for every pound lost between now and Nov 6, when I go for a weekend away with my girlfriend and our daughters. This is a shopping trip, but I will allow myself to spend this extra amount of money, based on the weight I lose, on something super frivilous (very unlike me)

My plan is still PB.
NO grains, not budging on that
NO sugars, including artificial*
Only dairy will be a small amount of cheese once a week, and my butter
NO alcohol
NO nuts right now
Tracking caloric and micronutrients at least every other day
Planning meals ahead of time to know what our planned intake is
Increase water--my last 3 measurements has been avg 33%, when a woman should be about 50%...dehydration is a common issue for me and can cause a huge problem during weight loss in flushing the crud in the fat cells (like uric acid that causes gout)
*Sweetners---allowing 3 squares of 85% choc a week....and not in one setting this comes out to be a total of .6 ounces, so there is a little bit of organic raw cane juice in that

How is this changed from what I have been doing? I have had nuts 2-3 times a week, and I am going to cut that out to see if there is a difference. I have also had my tiny chocolate square every day at work, and I am cutting that back. But the main thing is tracking and cutting down on the calories. The book says not to worry about calories, just to make sure you are getting enough protien, but I am going to cut to 1500-1700 cals, keeping carbs at 40-60 (I rarely reach 50)

Here is the problem, To shoot for 1500 cals, and have 60 carbs that leaves 1260 cals for fat and protien. According to PB I should have 100 grms protien--that is ALOT. Even if I got there I would have 95 grms of fat! That puts me at 16% c/ 26% p/ 57% f
What do you think about this?

This is NOT a new photo, I'm 35 pounds lighter than the "after". I have lost quite a bit since then off my thighs, but they are super jiggly. But, PTL, I can fit into size 14 pants now, they actually slip over my thighs and butt.

Sandy, you say that you're afraid to gain weight if you weight train but then you say : « I lost only 10 pounds but I looked very much better. » you lost weight and didn't gain. What makes you soooo sure you'll gain this time around...The trainers that were harping on you were wrong in doing so ... Just the fact that you looked and felt better is all the more reason to start weight training NOW ... OK off my

Wow!!!

CJ, I "just" got out of my size 14s. See, you are going to be one hot mama!!!

I think your plan looks great. If it were me, I would track my carbs and calories, and let the protein and fat fall where it may, at least for a few weeks. It would probably come in about what you've calculated.

I just took at look a PB, and Mark says:

MikkiJoe, that is one **** of a plan. I am impressed. I think I am going to follow your plan, Mark Sisson has nothing on you!

With your cooking skills, ever think about a business plan for the first chain of Primal restaurants? They are badly needed in our country.

You are amazing.