Hannah- You can always start fresh on your eating. Great job with your walk! You have stumbled, but you have caught yourself. Just start pulling yourself up!

Hi there...

I'm about to go to bed, but with a heavy heart, sigh. I like the new stylist, but I was turned off by the cold personality of the salon receptionists and while this stylists prices aren't horrendous, they're not cheap either. I mean, $135 or $140 not including tip for color, color glaze and blow-dry, ouch, that's pricey! So I don't know, I was going to head back to this stylist for color but that's a huge price tag. I actually texted my old stylist on Facebook, and I apologized that I left him, and I asked him if I could come back, no reply. I'm torn, I am thinking about calling his salon to see if we can talk and work things out, I don't know. His prices are more reasonable and he is very sweet, so are most of the staff but I think I hurt his feelings, understandable, I feel badly.

Sigh, I just need to think about things. Good night.

Amy

Just came home from the lake late tonight (Sunday). The kids and I only went up Saturday and Sunday, because my hubby had some guys up Thursday to Saturday morning for golfing and lake fun. I ate way too many snacks during those two days, but I did manage to get walks in both days. I wanted to get more exercise in, but just didn't buckle down and do it. I am committed to get my butt outside to walk or on the treadmill this week. I will be working out with the trainer Tuesday and Thursday morning, but want to get a lot of cardio in this week as well. Training is mostly weights and machines, but a great hour-long workout. I am disappointed in myself for not being more serious about weight loss lately, reflected in some poor food choices and extra snacking and not enough movement in my days. I had a rude awakening when I looked at notes online from my doctor appointment the other day. It said "obesity" for one of my issues. Even though I know that I am considered obese, since I am more than 50 pounds overweight, seeing it written in my chart made me sad and ashamed. I hate the thought of using negative things for motivation, but I am really going to try to remember that feeling I had when I saw the word obesity listed in my chart the next time I want something bad to eat or want to eat more than a healthy portion of something. I feel so much better on the inside than I have in a long time, but my outer body just doesn't reflect how far I've come, and I hate it. I want my body to show that I like myself now. I don't want to hide behind my fat anymore. What is it gonna take for me to make the necessary changes I need to make in order to shed this weight..... once and for all?!? I have been so incredibly fortunate that, other than aches and pains, I really haven't had any health issues because of my "obesity," and I don't want to wait until I have health issues to get started on this journey again. Don't get me wrong, I HAVE BEEN TRYING to lose weight, but I am not making nearly enough lifestyle changes to REALLY lose a significant amount of weight. I am battling a thyroid issue, which is probably making this all harder, but ~ if I am honest with myself ~ I haven't given it all I've got for awhile now. And I need to. I really need to! And I want to now. So what am I waiting for????? I really don't know. Sorry for my rambling, but I just needed to get all of that off my chest, I guess! Thanks for listening!

Well, now it is 1:45am and I need to be up fairly early, so no time for personals. Sorry! I will do my best to touch base soon with some personals! You are all in my thoughts and prayers..... always! Hope everyone has a great week ahead!

Seabiscuit- Wow, that is a lot of money. I don't think I could ever spend that much for hair color.. I'm a huge tightwad though! Hope you figure something out that makes you happy!

Ibelieveinme2- I'm sorry you've hit a rough patch. I'm pretty much in the same boat, having realized I wasn't doing enough to really see weight loss. I think we're both on a re-dedication to our weight loss goals!

So I'm starting over for my weight loss. Basically, low carb didn't work for me. While I was eating low carb, I think I had the mindset I could eat lots of everything else. I think calorie counting will be the best route for me because I'm pretty analytical in nature. I'm going to start with eating 2000 calories or a little less and doing at least an hour of cardio (bicycling, elliptical, and swimming). I'll also still do a little bit of weight training, but will primarily focus on cardio. This is how I lost roughly 20lbs a few years ago, so I figure this will be the best try for me.

Before trying low carb, I think I ws eating too little calories and exercising, which wasn't helpful for weight loss.

For my restart, I weighed in today at 179lbs which was a .5 lb loss. That's exciting in itself.

Hi...

Thanks Fleur. Actually, today I stopped by my old stylists salon and I talked with him. I told him that I felt so badly about leaving and he seemed a bit upset but he said he wasn't and to not worry about it. I think he felt badly but didn't say anything. He is more quiet than talkative. I made an appointment with him for hair color in a few weeks, I texted him and I think everything is ok now but he seems more serious, not as relaxed. I think he has his guard up, it will take time to repair and rebuild. Anyways it was good to see him and I actually told him I wish I could give him a hug, I did at the first visit. I think deep down he realized that I was being sweet but he didn't say anything. Anyways, I'm glad to be going back to him. I missed him. I'm wondering if I should get him a gift. He just got married. I don't know, I'll think about it.

Tonight I went to an urgent care center to get an antibiotic. I will take it tonight. I feel awful. Snickers is so glad I'm home.

Good night!

Amy

Well, the BERP took an interesting turn today. I worked hard for several hours conquering another box packed full of stuff, but not in the usual sort/weed/toss fashion. I put all the stuff up on a wall! Because the "stuff," in this case, was a huge collection of brilliant artworks: the cream of the crop of all the art I've received in the mail in the four and a half years since I joined the worldwide mail art community. Almost all of the artworks are not prints, but original collages, paintings, and mixed-media pieces. Almost all of it was mailed "naked" (not in an envelope) in the form of postcards of every shape, size, and material. I even put up a few envelopes, complete with postage stamps and lots of artistamps (artworks in the form of faux postage).

I didn't put up a single postcard that I made, of course, since all of my original art is out there in the world in the hands of other mail artists. I mounted all the pieces with little foam sticky squares, with a separation of at most half an inch. The wall I covered is one side of the downstairs corridor that connects the foyer, living room, and kitchen. It's 5 feet wide and 8 feet high, so it amounts to nearly 40 square feet of art! And what a complicated jigsaw puzzle it was, too, figuring out how to arrange all those pieces in a harmonious and densely packed way.

Even Bob, who's still depressed—although not as depressed as he used to be—got excited about the project, and he helped me put up some of the pieces that are right up next to the ceiling. I can't begin to convey how amazing that wall looks now: it's like one enormous, colorful, eye-popping artwork composed of hundreds of separate pieces. We'll be able to admire it every day as we come down the stairs, sit at the kitchen table, and of course stand in the corridor itself.

And boy am I exhausted.... but happy. I'm not even fazed by the fact that tomorrow is my monthly weigh-in day, the 22nd. I fully expect that I will have gained some—how much, I can't begin to guess. It's been an extremely stressful month, as we move into our final countdown to August 3rd, when we drive up north to pick up our kittens. Julie tells me that Oscar is still small, but he's an eager eater, so maybe he'll eventually catch uo to Nénu, his sister. She's doing great, running around like crazy and climbing the screen door that separates their master bedroom—AKA the nursery—from the rest of the house.

I hope all of y'all are doing well, or at least better than you were. I'm trashed. I'm going to bed now.

Fleur- I hope that you can tolerate your current position while you wait for your new law office one. I know exactly how you feel - seeing the politics involved and not wanting to be a part of it. It is so difficult. I feel like I am morally torn. &&& I also find calorie counting to be the best route for me, at least to get a feel for portion sizes. Nothing else really worked for me. I liked the fact that if I was under or right at the line that day, I was in a negative calorie balance and would lose weight. Pretty much guaranteed. But other people do really well on low carb/low fat/etc. Different strokes for different folks.

Amy- I am sorry that it didn't work out with your new stylist. Finding a stylist that you trust and are comfortable with can be SO DIFFICULT sometimes. I hope things work out for you with your old one. Also -

Kathleen- I hate thinking of myself as "obese". Even if I logically know it is true. In a way, I am glad that I don't see my doctor's notes, even though I also think it would be helpful. I just don't want to see all the negative crap that it may say. Good for you for realizing what you need to do to get healthy!

Fi- How wonderful!! That sounds so lovely. How fortunate you are to be surrounded by original artwork. Oh, the good energy it must bring. What a sense of accomplishment, too! I can almost feel your happiness reach across the internet and tug at me. That is so great.

Hi Hannah-

Thank you for your kind words. It's funny, I've really been on the fence about choosing a stylist. Up until last night, I was going back to my old one but alas knowing me, I had a change of heart again and I'm going to stick with the new one. He's more expensive but I trust him more, plus things were a but awkward with my old stylist, I'm not surprised. Why do I go back and forth! But that's my final answer!

I'm exhausted, now I'm getting a sore throat too, ugh! I feel so run down. I'm going back to sleep. I hope I feel better soon!

Take care!

Amy

hello!! got to get myself back in the habit of posting here every day, I miss so much when I don't.

Amy - so sorry about the sinus infection and sore throat, hope the antibiotics help today. Boy $135 is pricey..highlights/cut/style for me is $80 without tip, but of course I'm rural VT and you are in cosmopolitan Philly Was there a particular incident with the old stylist, did you have to tell him you weren't happy? Because you are NOT obligated to feel badly to switch stylists. And he should be a professional and not be 'hurt'. If you decide to go back to him, I would advice against a gift, even though you are SO sweet to think of it, it might be misunderstood, or create some awkwardness. Unless it's something simple like cookies

Fleur - oh the last days of a job when you are leaving can be soooo long! Best wishes with figuring out a WOE (Way of Eating) that works for you. I have found a combo of calorie counting plus low carb is good for me, but I have to eat what seems so little to actually lose. Like a little bird instead of my usual vulture, lol.

Fi - oh your art filled wall sounds fantastic! and that you can enjoy it from many angles is great.

Kathleen - oh I am so sorry you are feeling kinda desperate , you are our usual spirit lifter-upper!! You are indeed blessed that you do not have health issues due to some extra weight; I would focus on the fact that you are physically able to do things to be mobile and work out; you are not limited in mobility, so you are lucky in that respect! ( I know, but we have to grab all our positives when we can) Each day is a fresh start. Wow what a cheerleader I am this morning

Worth - HEY congrats on seeing those obliques!!! that takes success with diet and exercise so you are rockin it!! Sorry about the anxiety with the guy who stopped to talk..definitely take your phone and have it in your hand if someone stops again. But hopefully they are just admiring and have no bad motives.

hannah - Hi girl I get down about my lifelong food issues too. I look at others and wonder if they are also thinking 'am I going to be too hungry later to make good choices?' Hang in there!! and yay for your long walk.

I finally got my car totally repaired, from teh collision on May 28. It was driveable but now all is good. Yay. Have been enjoying almost daily commuting on the motorcycle which is awesome . Vroom vroom
am enjoying summer so much, my lawn and my flowers are beautiful and I love looking at it all each morning with my coffee, and coming home to it in the afternoon.

Hi to everyone else

Hi Holly,

Thank you for your advice. Actually, with the old stylist there were a couple of off times, when he colored my hair it came out extremely dark, it was way too dark. Then when he cut it, one side was over an inch longer than the other. I tried to forgive both of these, he's younger and a less experienced stylist but they made me question his integrity as a stylist. As for the newer stylist, I agree I think his prices are a bit high, I'm going to talk with him. I do trust him though and I think he does better quality work.

Ugh, I feel awful, I'm so congested and run down. I was going to go out a little today but I think I'm just going to stay in bed.

Take care.

Amy

Amy - Sorry you aren't feeling well. Bed is sometimes the best place to be. As for you stylist woes, I personally would rather spend the money on a stylist that I had confidence in, even if I had to go less often. Hopefully you get it all worked out to your satisfaction.

Holly - I bet summer in Vermont is glorious. It gets pretty hot and humid here in Arkansas. But we've had a surprising nice week, so I did get to spend some time with my hands in the dirt and napping in my hamock without passing out!

Hannah - Hi! What's up with you?

Fi - That wall of art sounds beautiful...any chance of seeing a picture? Sorry that Bob is still suffering through depression, but glad that he was able to participate in your art project. So excited for you and the kittens. Mine are a pair as well, and my boy, Alexei, was the runt of the litter. He didn't have the health problems that your little Oscar has, but he was about 2/3 the size of Lyla, who was the biggest of the litter. He's still skinnier than Lyla (they are 3 now) but he's always been the spunky one. You'll have so much fun with them. I'm kind of jealous!

Fluer - I'm sorry low carb didn't work for you. Different metabolism do better with different diets. Good luck on your calorie counting and exercise. And Congrats! on that loss!!

Kathleen - Sometimes we all need a kick in the butt. The important thing is what you do next!

I weighed in at 233.0 today. That's 17lbs lost in 4 weeks on Atkins. I really love this diet. I'm never hungry, never have cravings, and haven't cheated once. May you all find a WOE (way of eating) that works for you!

Amy - Oh gosh, those hair issues were kinda big weren't they! Yup those instances would make me want to change also.

WOW !!!

Thanks Holly and Monte Cristo-

Monte Cristo, congratulations!!! Way to go on the weight loss, yay!

Holly- thanks, yes, I felt kind of upset with a very uneven haircut and very dark hair. I was tempted to give that stylist another shot but I think I will stick with my new stylist. I feel much more confident in him.

I wish I could shake this cold!!! I hope I get better soon.

I haven't been doing much with WW, I am going to the meeting tomorrow but I'm skipping the scale.

Thanks for all the support.

Goodnight.

The past few days since I posted have been better days. I am SLOWLY getting my motivation back. Forcing it back really. Making better choices with exercise and food. I need to focus on progress and hang in there until I begin to see positive changes. Then, I think I will truly be motivated again. I haven't been able to stay motivated for long enough to see changes in such a long time. I am recommitted to sticking with it for the long haul again. I will have bad days and days when I make poor choices, but that's to be expected. I am going to continue jumping back on the weight loss bandwagon ~ again and again and again! Hopefully, I won't fall off too many times!

Holly: Great to hear from you! Thank you for the pep talk. Glad to hear that you are commuting almost daily on your motorcycle and that you were able to get your car completely repaired. Also happy to hear that you are really enjoying summer, complete with a beautiful lawn and flowers.

Sabrina: Let's get back on board together! WE CAN DO THIS!!! It sounds like you have a good plan that has worked in the past, so you are on your way! I am still deciding on which plan to follow. Interestingly, I was leaning toward low carb, but I just don't think I can follow through with it long term. When do you start your new job? Hang in there until then!

Amy: Hope you are happy with your decision to stay with your new stylist. Sounds like you have good reason to move on. It kind of annoys me that your old stylist acted odd about your decision. You have every right to switch stylists, especially if you are dissatisfied with the results at times! I pay about the same for color and cut and style. It is expensive, but worth it because I am very pleased with my stylist and get consistent (good) results. Sorry you were not feeling well and had to go to the ER and Urgent Care. Hope the antibiotics get you back on your feet soon!

Fi: Your new wall art sounds wonderful! How creative! How did your weigh-in go?

Hannah: I HATE thinking of myself as "obese" too. I even hate that word!!! But I must face the music. I am getting serious about weight loss again. I want results!!! It might take awhile, but I will get there!

Antonia: I love your insight about the important thing is what I do next! I will keep that in mind each day as I MOVE FORWARD with weight loss. CONGRATULATIONS on your AWESOME weight loss on Atkins!!! Sounds like you have found the right WOE (way of eating) for you! Great job sticking with it!!!

Trish: Are you still reading along??? Hope you are okay and feeling a little stronger each day! BIG HUGS to you!

Waving HELLO to everyone else! We can do this ladies!!!

Believe-

Thanks so much for your kind words and support. I'm slowly feeling better, I have a bit more energy. yeah, I found it was a bit odd that my old stylist wasn't more acknowledging of what went wrong, but that is his loss. I like my new stylist, I hope that I'll be seeing him for awhile. I did check out another salon in the area though, they're less expensive, if I cannot afford the current stylist, maybe I will switch, we'll see.

I just finished rereading Flowers for Algernon this morning, it is such a sweet story but sad. I read it in high school or middle school many years ago. What are all of you chicks reading?

Good night!

Amy