Hi Ladies. Well our apt. is CLEAN! So I figured I burned some calories with that! AND I had a healthy dinner. Yes you aren't reading that wrong, I, Sassy_Chick/Shel had a HEALTHY dinner.

I had 1 and only 1 small skiness & boneless GRILLED chicken breast & some red potatoes (very very small portion) w/ Snap Peas (yes a GREEN vegetable!) and it had red peppers in it too.

Now afterwards I did have an english muffin w/ sugar free jam and then later on had 1/2 of a cinnamon roll. But I think all in all, not too bad.

I am drinking a beer right now. But I highly doubt I will drink the entire thing. I usually drink just a little bit of it and then put the rest of it in a air tight canister for cooking or something.

So there ya go. NO fast food, no fried food, yes I did have an english muffin and 1/2 a cinnamon roll, but so take me out and shoot me! At least there are no more english muffins or cinnamon rolls in the house. We are dwindling down now in the food dept. We have absolutely NO soda in the house, which hub is whining about but he'll get over it. lol. I've been drinking nothing but water all day and all night long. So I figure a little bit of a beer won't hurt.

So sorry I didn't do 3 hrs of aerobic and no I didn't eat carrot sticks and celery all day but I think I did okay.

Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here because I am not doing as good as everyone else. I think people see my posts and are like, "UGH what is SHE doing here? She is NOT committed to losing weight, she is a waste." That is just how I feel. I know its not true, just how I feel.

Thanks for listening and sorry I didn't do personals..........maybe tomorrow, er um later on today!

Please, don't feel that way. I know there are plenty of us who do feel that way.. I was like you too, afraid to post (life long lurker) because I thought people would say why is she here? Who does she think she is? etc. But you are stronger than you think, you are here talking about you deepest and darkest fears, moments and you are also sharing your successes with us, when ever I see someone either have a good day, NSV, or lose a lb or 2 it makes me feel good about why I am here. To give support to others on the same journey and find that motivation to continue on mine.

Hang in there.

You're CRAZY! Have you not seen my posts where I talk about eating an entire box of Little Debbie snack cakes? Or the ones about me buying a big bag of yogurt-covered pretzels every time I stop at CVS? Oooh, or the ones about how I was going to McDonald's about 4+ times a week and getting more than enough food to feed 2 people--I'd even upgraded my already enormous meals from regular cheeseburgers to double cheeseburgers! We all have problems with food here--perhaps some more extreme than others, but problems nonetheless. That's exactly why we're all here, and exactly why we ALL belong

Some of us have been fortunate enough lately that we have been able to come and share our successes rather than our binges, but that doesn't mean it's any easier, and it certainly doesn't mean we belong here any more than someone who is struggling more. I used to feel similarly about attending my TOPS group meetings. On the weeks I didn't do well, I felt like such a failure and as if I didn't belong. But then, reality struck, and I realized (along with the help of some of my TOPS friends) that the times we are doing poorly are the times we need the support the MOST. So if you're feeling down, then you SHOULD come here so we can all do what we can to help! After all, I know I, for one, originally came here to seek support, and I found it, and now I am here to offer it as well

My dear, if ANYONE should be embarrassed around here, it should be ME! I've been here for ummm... four years, have been a moderator for over two of those, and I've been up and down like a yo-yo.
I have all the answers (don't we all?), and little application power.
Don't feel that way, sweetie... this is hard for ALL of us. As Jill said, this is where the support is... in the good times and in particular, the bad.
One of these days you're going to be losing like crazy, and some of us will be thinking, "Darn that Shel! She's losing and I'm NOT!!!"
Hang in there, hon...

Nicklewise, we're so glad you're here, too.

finals are staring thursday
i have a term paper
i have a pseech-worht my final grade
i made up withthe girl i fought with
i lost the cummunity service election for VP and i feel likei lost to someone because of reverse disrimantion and popularity
also, i wanted the position because i care about the club, not because i wanted it to look good on my college applications!!
ugg

ok so like i said i did not becoem the vice predient of my community service person
i was listening to my announcements in homeroom which is right after 1st period when teh bell rang i had to eave the room adn walk past the girl (alos a friend of mine) who had beaten me, so what di i do-I congratulated her. I think that was the good thing to do but I felt so crappy saying it to her. I wanted to be the VP of the club because I realllly care about helping people, it makes my day worth while, Its what I enjoy, the girl who beat me wants to put it on her college resume. she doesn't even need it on her resume since she is an honors student and involved in other activites anyway, but what does she do? wins VP! when I saw her she wasn't even that excited about it-happy but not excited. If I had one I would have run through the halls screaming for joy, thanking ppl for voting for me-not her
I can't be like this but i am so disspointed in it.

Kristen, big hugs, sweetie. I'm sorry you didn't get the position, but you've got the BEST heart, and you're going to find yourself some marvelous positions in the future. I'm going to PM you later and tell you about my volunteer job.
And you did the right thing congratulating the winner. There's a lot of stuff in life that doesn't seem fair, but I think it's fate. You'll be the winner in the long run.

Hello and thanks ladies

I know that was just my "sugar demon" talking there. But it did feel good to get it out. I know I can do this, I just have to put my mind to it. I even had a dream lastnight that I lost weight -- a LOT of weight. So who knows? It could come true! And you wanna know one of my main motivations? (besides wanting to feel better and healthier) It sounds crazy, but its because at work there are a lot of nice looking women there. So I want to lose this weight so I get the attention, not them! Sounds like HS doesn't it? I just get tired of people only seeing me as "one of the guys" and it may not even change if I lose the weight, but I think it may. I just want to be recognized just once for ME and ME alone. Does that sound totally insane?????? lol. Maybe I should be going to a Shrink or something but I seem to "Blend in" to the wall there. That can be a good thing I know that, but just ONCE I would like to be recognized for looking good and not just because I'm the one holding the doughnuts! lol.

Big to those who need it right now. Sorry I didn't go more into detail with personals and all..........Maybe later.

Doesn't sound like HS at all to me! I think even though most of us say we're doing this for our health or to set a good example for our kids or to become more fit or whatever noble reasons we have, there's a much more vain/superficial reason in there, too. I, for one, have NEVER been a normal weight since I was about 4 years old. Yeah, I want to be healthy, but that's honestly not my main motivation right now because I've never really had any weight-related health issues (I know that luck won't last forever, but still--prevention isn't much of a motivator for me ). No, I just want to be thin so I can go back to my hometown and show off to all the people who shunned me in high school because of my weight I want to go out with my boyfriend and not have his friends have to try to figure out what must be so great about me, since it surely isn't my physical appearance! I want to watch movies and not just be staring at the actresses bodies wondering how they stay so thin/fit (and I don't mean the insanely skinny ones like Paris Hilton, Brittney Murphey, or whatever...normal actresses ). I want so badly to be THINNER, not just healthier

Kristen--I have SO been there. When I was in high school, I ran for class historian. Not even an important position, but historian. This super-skinny "popular" girl ran against me, gave a crappy speech, didn't even know what the position actually entailed, and won anyway. So frustrating! At least, hopefully, since you know the girl who won, you can think she at least will do the job (not better than you, of course, but better than some bimbo who doesn't care about it at all, ya know?). And I know it seems super important right now, but there are plenty of other ways you can help people, and honestly, once you leave high school and go to college, NONE of it will matter anymore I can't even count on all my finger and toes how many times during my first year of college I stopped and thought, "my god, why did I worry about that so much in high school?" So yeah, I agree with you that high school drama sucks

Oh, and I'll be first to admit I did things in high school just to have them on my college applications--not positions where it was only me and no one else could do it, but clubs and stuff. However, this is how I actually found some things I was interested in that I didn't think I would be!

Well - I've been avoiding most binges...but definitely come close more than i should...without mentioning specifics, i found an attraction to some hard candies yesterday and managed to eat about 7-8 points (WW) worth of them...that's roughly 400 calories...whoops - but I budgeted around it for the rest of the day, which is good...but i just wish that my habits were better - i'm trying to do that today...trying to avoid the candy...

grr...i feel like i've been doing so much better in the past week and the scale is not moving like it used to 6 months ago...i'm going to try to drink more water for the rest of the week and see how that goes...grr...

Kristen - I agree with jillybean - in a couple of years High School will seem like a distant memory and you will have other things occupying your mind. I pretty much hated high school. I was very shy, yet I was a good athlete and good at my schoolwork. Did this make me popular? um, no...You will get so much more out of your life once you are done with high school (IMO). Plus, it sounds like you are an extremely smart and talented person so I'm sure you will succeed in whatever you do. I went to my HS reunion last fall (10 years) and I will admit that I did take some pleasure in knowing that a lot of the 'cool' girls gained a lot of weight...without having kids...as mean as this sounds, i was like - ha! I may be overweight, but I'm about the same size I was when I graduated - nanny nanny boo boo...ok just kidding - i'm not that evil (or am I???)

Sassy - great job on having a healthy dinner...in our minds we know we are doing better even though to "others" we aren't because it's not the "perfect eating plan"...take pride in the little successes (good advice for myself too...) - oh yea, great job on cleaning your apartment - it always feels good to relax in a clean house, doesn't it? i know it takes a lot of stress off me

Jilly - good luck finding some simple ways to reward yourself...i too have at times made a habit out of going to CVS or other places to get snacks during the day. It's usually in the spring time when the little holiday candies are out (choc. bunnies, choc. hearts, etc...) - that was a lot of my downfall this year...you are not alone

Ellis - hang in there - thanks for putting Sassy's comment in perspective - for all of us

Harpo - girl - you have to move to Texas - they have jalapenos everywhere...it's very popular - i've gotten into the habit where i put them on almost everything! sandwiches, mostly - but it's becoming addictive - i'm glad that they are not many calories! There's this place here called Tommy's burgers - it is my DH's favorite...they make really good burgers...but i only had the jalp-burger - nothing else...go me

Here's to a binge-free day!

LeaLee~ X 100

I've got an appointment so I only have a minute to post. I read your post and HAD to respond! I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and your family troubles! I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayer!

Oh, Sharon, I just wept when I read your post. I'm so very sorry you've had all this crap to deal with. Losing your grandmother is hard enough, sweetie.
I love that you stood up for your mom so valiantly. You are a heroine in my eyes. I can't believe your "family" would treat your mother so poorly. I wouldn't treat ANYONE that way. No one is deserving of that, least of all someone that you love and care about.
I wish I'd been there to give you and your mom a hug. And a "high-five" to you for your message to them. My gosh... first I was crying, and now I'm feeling enraged for your sake! You're not irrational at all. You made a very mature, human decision to lay your cards on the table.
I hope you can put this behind you and not allow it to cause you (too much) stress, because you've put your heart where you know it belongs, and that was the right thing to do.

Lucky, I can relate to the candy story. I remember doing the Fat and Fibre WW program a few years ago. I ate a lot of jelly beans because they had no fat, but DUH... a ton of calories!
I hope today goes well for you.

Jill, I love your honesty re: wanting to be thin. Good for you for saying what you feel! I'm sick of people telling me I should only lose weight for the sake of my health. I KNOW that's the most important thing, but damnit, I want to like how I look when I see myself in a mirror! I want to see the old me again. The girl who used to run everyday, moved easily, and looked great in a pair of jeans and a sweater.

Sassy, ditto! It would be lovely if everyone could see us for who we are beneath the fat. But most people don't. They're superficial, and unfortunately that bears a lot of weight for us. (no pun intended)
A friend of mine who was heavy all her life lost a lot of weight about 10 years ago. She looked great, and everyone complimented her. Her response was, "I'm still the same person, you know!" She was actually really irritated by the compliments. And while I understand that to an extent, I think a lot of us ARE different when we're heavy. I know I am. I'm self-conscious, am secretly irritated because I'm constantly thinking about dieting and exercising and the "thin girls in the restaurant at the table across from me", I puff when I climb stairs, I have fits of rage when I can't find anything in my closet that hides my fat, ...
I've been slim before, and I know that Ellis is not the Ellis that's sitting here right now. On her fat butt.

Where am I? Oh, the binging thread.
I'm eating some plain Doritos right now because I'm cranky and depressed, but I'm going to count them into my calories for the day.

Hi, Elizabeth!