Quote:
Originally Posted by Rikku
I still don't agree with the approach of one of you
None of us expect you to agree with all of us (or even any of us), and if you remember that you'll feel a lot more supportive.
Some of the best support I get here is from the people who think what I'm doing is absolutely INSANE (and aren't afraid to tell me so). We don't have to agree to support each other, but we do have to put our opinions out there (sometimes even the ones that sound "mean" to some of us).
I actually get more out of the opinions that disagree with mine (just like I get more out of the negative reviews on amazon.com than those that are gushingly positive). Because the disagreeing opinions challenge me, and make me think.
In the end, I may decide that the critics are right and I've been making a mistake, or I may decide (whether or not I research the accuracy of their opinions) that I'm just as confident (if not more so) that my approach is right for me.
So take what helps, and forget the rest, because it's not our opinions and experiences that matter, it's sharing them that does - so that people can know that they're not alone (no matter what their experience or opinions are).
I wouldn't even want to miss out on the "harsh" criticisms, because some people say they need that, and if they believe it, even though I don't understand it, I have to accept that. I'm ordinarily not going to be the one who gives or needs it, but I also don't have to worry quite so much about how carefully I need to word my posts, because I can be assured, that no matter what I say or how I say it, it will be exactly what someone (not necessarily the op) needs to hear.
And if I or others completely botch the job and start getting nasty, the moderators will quickly remove those posts or close the thread (and remember you do have a right to contact the mods with complalints about a thread or posts to it, and you can also use the ignore function to block out posts from members whose posts upset you (you won't see any of their posts).
I have a very thick skin, but there have been members in the past (none currently) whose posts would constantly get under my skin. And yet other people would post how much they LOVED those members' posts, so it's obviously just a personality-clash thing. Blocking their posts (so to me they don't even exist to me) was extremely helpful for my emotional well-being.
Do what you've got to do, and say what you've got to say - that's the bottom line here. Not everyone is going to agree, and even some of those who passionately DISAGREE can still like you and be of support and help to you (if not on every topic, at least on some).
It is important to remember that very, very few people here are going to judge you, and those that do or seem to be aren't worth your hurt feelings. And while it may have no control over your feelings (just as many of us feel we have no control over our eating) we all do have that choice, but it takes practice to exercise it, and to find the best ways to exercise the choice.