Aw Linda .. that's so sweet of you, but .. I have the PS2, not the X-Box. Darn. *smite*

I hope your lunch goes well. I think it's absolutely so sweet of you to cook for your parents, too. I hope they at least check out the assisted living. It sounds like that would be a great option for them. Getting old sucks.

Raven, if you really want one of those try e-bay, that is where I got this one. I thought it would help Jamie's weight loss efforts, but she hated it.
Thanks for your kind words about my parent's situation.
I don't know if I'm going to make it today as Jamie was sick last night and I may have to be home here with her and also don't want to bring potential germs up there with me, the last thing they need.
Linda

G'morning, chicks!

This morning was chest/back. First check/back split in over 9 months. As with arms, I did VERY light weights to establish that baseline. It was a bit boring - unsatisfying, I love lifting heavy but I don't dare till I know I can handle it. I hate flies. I really do - but I love what they do for my delts. Oh BAYbee... I miss my delts.

The drop on the scale apparently wasn't a blip. I really am down that much. That so rocks.

It is SO good to be feeling alive again. My body is waking up, and it seems to be dragging the rest of me along with it.


Linda - I checked on E-Bay .. It's about $50 for the two pads and the software we want. I'll keep checking to see if I can get it cheaper. But I really do appreciate the offer. That's so nice of you! V and I *love* dance remix music, and we LOVE to dance, so ... I think we'd have a blast. I hope Jamie feels better soon!

So ... food, water, exercise - all on track!

Good morning all. Sorry I was MIA, but I was doing a lot with family over the weekend, and just had no time. Time. That is really what I need a lot more of lately. I just don't know where it is all going. I didn't get to the gym this weekend. And, for the first time in a long time, I am PMSing. I saw it on the scale this morning. I felt it in the food cravings I was having all weekend. And I REALLY felt it in my overemotional, less than rational reactions to things. Aren't hormones grand?

I did drag my butt into the gym this morning, which I am glad of. I MUST restart my running program tomorrow. That is the only way I can get a little extra sleep the mornings after I work, and Sunday mornings when I work. Plus, I really want to do this. Suck it up, Buttercup!

I hope to keep the cravings monster at bay today. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Thanks for the web sites Raven! The Stumptuous.com not only is really funny, but we share the same philosophy, you don't need alot of fancy gadgets and stuff to exercise. I am one who just can't understand the exercise in place idea. I'd mush rather put on a pair of sneakers and actually GO somewhere and breath the fresh air and feel the sun.....
I'm just thinking that a gym for weight lifting and the financial comittment might force me to actually go and do it. But like I said, I'm going to try to set up something here and kick my self in the butt to get moving. I even have a really nice leg extention bench I inherited from my brother-in-law. I should use the %#@!! thing.
On a bad note, I totally screwed up yesterday by eating cheese enchiladas and BEER. And then I sat on the couch all evening munching on granola even though I wasn't hungry. So, being Monday, a good day to start...here we go again!!!

Couch-to-5K Week 3 Day 3 DONE!

Ever have one of those days where everything was going wrong with your workout, but you made it through anyway? And then you had that sense of satisfaction inside where you felt like you could have a little smile on your face all day long. Like you told the demons 'screw off' and they did? It's a good feeling.

I haven't looked at Week 4 yet. I'm afraid it's going to intimidate me. I know Week 3 was really intimidating, but I did it. So ... I'll just keep that in mind.

Food - Good - tummy was a little upset this morning though.
Water - I need to drink more in the evenings. I'm doing good through the day, but I wake up in the mornings dehydrated because I stop drinking water as soon as I get off work, pretty much. I'm going to make a point, if nothing else, of drinking at least one big glass with dinner, and one right before I go to bed. That's a start.
Exercise - Right on track, other than not being able to do pilates still. I must have really bruised those bones. Good landing, eh?

Tomorrow morning will be my lower body split, I guess. I should work that up tonight so I can just go right into it - I spend too much time checking e-mail, etc. in the mornings before my workouts. I need to stop that.

Hopefully riding tonight, if my legs aren't trash. Ground work if they are.

Good morning all. Just have time for a quick postk, before off and running for the day.

Well, I did it. After being scared to try again for several weeks, Mayhem and I restarted the running program this morning. Hurray!! I don't run, I waddle - but hey, I did it. I do need to set up a new route, as I go by blocks, not minutes, and the route I had set up has 15 blocks going in one direction and 3 coming back. Consisitency might help - at least until I am runnign the whole thing.

So now to tackle the weights . . .

Hey, Raven - I am out to ride tonight too Red, how about you? All our other riders??

NOw if I can just stop the eating.

Have a good day all.

Heh, jolly, yup, I rode today!! Good luck! Happy riding!

Holy crap... I just took a look at Week 4. The intervals consist of two 3 minute runs and two 5 minute runs. With only 1.5 and 2.5 minute walk intervals! Well, I have a couple days to let it scare me before I try it.

Jolly - V wants me to get up on Eve tonight. I'm thinking I have one heck of a time getting up on Arashi bareback, and he's only like 14.2 or something... Eve is pushing 16 hands!! I look at her and I think of mountain climbing, you know? *lol* If my legs are toast tonight there's no WAY I can get my butt up on her, I know it.

We shall see. I'm double tasking poor Arashi - first he's my lesson horse for Machine so he learns all the cues. Then I get up on him to work with him on slightly more advanced stuff. V needs to learn to tone it down on Eve. She wants to canter and have fun, but Eve really needs conditioning and training. Walk trot and lots of bridle work. V is bored with that... kind of makes me a little cranky. She's got a fantastic seat, but lately she wants a thrill instead of the long road to training. Not that I blame her, but I refuse to allow Eve to suffer injury because of V's impatience. ANYway... horse stuff.

Well, again I made some food choices that were better. Not where I should be though.

I did make it to the barn. Still trying to figure out why we are having problems cantering clockwise. I am sure it is something with how I am sitting, as we weren't having problems before my back went out. I just can't figure out what. And of course I am frustrated.

Here's to a good day.

Good morning all. Made it to the gym again. Hurray. Always glad when I win the fight against gravity and get my butt off the couch. I also made an appt to learn a new type of weights at the gym. I am hoping that motivates me to start them again. I just don't like them. Even though I do like the results. I don't know why. So whatever it takes to do them again.

I decided to do some "interval" training with the horse. I am hoping if we build things up, I may figure out what I am doing wron, plus it will reduce the risk of burning out on the bad side, and give us some "success" to build on. I could be crazy, but I have to try something to make it less frustrating for both of us.

Have a wonderful day all.

Jolly - Going back to where you know you can get a yes is never a bad idea. It may give you the answer to the problem, you never know. Good job on getting to the gym! What new weights are these?

Well - I did NOT make it to ride. I dunno why, just felt like I needed to be available at home for some weird reason. Maybe tonight, we shall see.

This morning was my first lower body split in over 9 months. Very remedial. Lunges and squats with 10 pounds plus bar. Quad and hamstring curls with 25 pounds. Calf raises. Wibbledy legs. Been a long time since I've walked with my legs trying to lock knees at every step. *sigh*

Realizing that my biggest obstacle this time is not eating, working out, or drinking enough water. My biggest obstacle is me. My biggest obstacle is my fear of attention. I like invisible. I must resolve this in me. It's not even just a discomfort.... it's near to terror, and I know it stems from my childhood. Invisibility is safety. If no one notices you, they can't hurt you. The few times I've been slender in my life, I've made terrible choices which resulted in more pain, only proving (in my twisted brain) the theory that fat is safe. I know better. I want too much to stay fat. I don't know how I'm going to work through this, but I know I can. God I hope I can. I do not want to run screaming into food and fat for comfort anymore when people start seeing me again.

Hi guys, no time to read all the posts. You guys have been chatty! I weighed in 3.4 pounds heavier yesterday at WW and I'm pretty sad, but no one is to blame but me. Time to try harder.
Hope all is well, looks like (on a quick review just now of posts) people are into their riding lots this week, maybe more than usual?
I wish I had an outlet like that, but riding was never my thing. I think I need to take some time to smell the roses.
Linda

Now don't take this the wrong way RT cuz I know you have some serious issues from your past, but to feel this way, aren't you also saying that you've learned nothing from the past? That you feel like you are doomed to repeat the same behaviors over and over and over again? I mean, hopefully you are happy with Richard so for the immediate future you don't have to worry about making relationship mistakes. And if you want to pursue your horse care - don't you have to some day step up and be noticed? If your goal is to start a business of your own, you HAVE to step forward and let people know you are out there and drum up some business or even just convince them of your convictions. You seem to take pleasure when you get back into a strong work out routine - like you said, it's power, it's strength, it's feeling good about yourself. Well if so, then you need to write these negative feelings down, go outside, burn the paper and purge this from your life. Yes, there is some amount of safety in being invisible. But are also willing to live life against the wall, missing out on having a good time dancing because you might step on someone's toes?

I think for all of us (myself included), it's too easy to fall back into old habits, to let old fears paralyze us. Sooner or later you have to just stick your neck out and decide that I'm never going back to the past again. New day, new way.

That's what I'm struggling with at this point and getting tired too of why I can't turn this into a reality instead of just a daily litany. Maybe because deep down, I'm just don't want it bad enough...

Linda,
I've got some lovely roses in my garden -- pinks, reds, yellows and the most perfect peach colored rose I've ever seen. It just forces you to stop and admire it because it only lasts about 2 days. More buds about to open tho, come on by, we'll smell the roses and have a cool (low fat of course) fruit smoothie out back in my peaceful yard and forget about the trials of life for a few hours ...