Wow, it seems like we have a lot of new posters (as well as visits from those we haven't seen in a while) this week!

Fleury: Nice to hear from you again! You do sound busy, make sure you take sure of yourself with that schedule

Fi:Good luck, and you can do it!

hannah: I hope everything's alright, look forward to hearing from you

BamaGalRN: Hi Melissa, and I think you'll find that this is a very welcoming and supportive community for all parts of life, including anxiety and depression issues!

Amy: Can't wait to see it! I'm glad you're excited, it's gonna look awesome I'm doing really well, just busy with work!

This morning I weighed in at... 256! Woo! That puts me down 10 lbs, for the first time on this journey. This is faster progress than I expected, so it feels good.

My schedule right now has me working 45-50 hours per week, and this week it's very end-heavy, with half of my hours in the next three days. I'm already tired, just thinking about it. We'll see ho it goes!

Hi Chelaina-

I just got back from the hair salon and I really love this style! It's very soft and natural looking, which is exactly the look that I was going for. I think it's very pretty! The hues are a little auburny which is pretty, when I get it toned next, I'm not sure if I'll ask for that or more gold tones but I like it now.

Tomorrow my family is visiting from out of town. I've spent a lot of the day tidying up my apartment and I still have a ways to go doing that. I bought some pretty, fresh cut flowers and I put them in the bathroom and kitchen. Tomorrow we're heading to see an exhibit at a museum called The Barnes and we're having lunch.

I am very happy with my decision to continue WW, I like my leader and I connect with him.

Congratulations, Chelaina! Awesome!! Big congrats, way to go!!!




I will try to upload a photo of my highlights, they're subtle, not the best lighting

This is the second day in a row that I'm having depression pain in the afternoon. I know it's the rebound from all the stress associated with preparing for, and getting, our new fur-kids. I always have to remind myself of what I learned in medical school: positive stress (like new baby, new job, getting married...) is just as hard on one's system as the negative stress we usually think about when when we say "stress."

And as a person with bipolar affective disorder, I'm exquisitely sensitive to stress. I do OK while it's happening, but a few days later, I always swing into depression.

But don't worry about me, y'all. It's not very bad, and I know how to handle it.

I live under a lot of stress. I'm curious as I've been tested for rheumatoid arthritis, but the test was inconclusive. So, they ruled it fibromyalgia based on chronic pain-- only I don't have any if the pressure points associated with fibro. I did have a therapist mention it could all be psychosomatic, which I certainly wouldn't rule out, but my current antidepressant/anxiety meds does nothing to combat my fatigue and chronic pain

What are hallmarks of depressive pain? Are there any?

Melissa— I experience depression as pain in my chest, like right under my sternum, but most people do not. I also have, with the pain, some of the more typical depression symptoms, such as lethargy, lack of interest in life, low mood, desire to overeat, and sleep disturbance. But it's the pain that really bugs me. I wish you all the best in sorting out your fibromyalgia symptoms, chronic fatigue, etc.

Hi there...

Fi, that sounds difficult about the physical pain. I experience depression in a number of ways, agitation, hopelessness, anger, frustration, isolating, etc. I store a lot of stress in my back and then I get sore, tender knots there.

I'm a bit frustrated with a situation, I am new to seeing a family doctor in Philly and I am confused and upset. He refused to prescribe me antibiotics when I was sick, then we had a discussion about it and now he wrote for an oral steroid but the quantity is double the dosage of his directions. I talked about this with the pharmacist and I'm going to take what the instructions say. Sigh, I just feel a bit unnerved, I don't know how much faith I have in him, he's a resident, so a youngish doctor. I think he's caring and means well, I just feel irritated. Thanks.

Amy

Motorcyclists strap new toys to their bikes; and ride to a central meeting place to donate the toys. Our recipient is Shriner's Hospitals for Children. Our organization has been doing this for 28 years. And it was a smooth success, all the pesky details did fall into place

so sorry for not checking in!! working each day, not alot of hours but still going in every day. And MAD at myself for not caring what I've been eating and not working out STILL!! Saw pics of myself at the Toy Run and so ashamed of my huge arms and just look chunky. The few pounds I got rid of in spring are back, with more.

I will try to check in more often!!

p.s. about Robin Williams..geez the world is full of people that either understand the desperation that man must have felt, OR are so quick to condemn someone 'who is a coward'. Yeah anyone who says that is sure lucky to never felt that badly.

I've been dealing with a "down" for the past couple of weeks and haven't felt much like posting. Welcome to all the newbies to the group. You'll definitely find support here. Sorry for not responding to individual posts right now but I'm struggling with my own form of isolating, which makes it tough to reach out and offer support right now.

As I get closer to Onederland, I'm fighting urges to self-sabotage. It is proving to be a very hard internal struggle to overcome the urge to sugar binge. TOM is approaching and the hormones feed the negative situation. I know that sugar would elevate my mood instantly but the psychological impact is not worth the temporary high. At least, that's what I try to keep telling myself. I've said it before: sugar is my heroine. My addiction is just as strong as someone dealing with alcoholism. The internal drive to reach emotional oblivion is relentless.

I've been keeping up with my workouts, though the gym is losing its charm. I'd rather be outside as our very short summer winds down. As a result, I'm coming home after work and riding my bike or doing speed walk/jog intervals in the evenings. I still need to use the gym for strength training, since I don't have any barbells at home.

Still no support from my mother. She told me last week that I'm abusing my body and that's why I'd hit a plateau. I wanted to tell her that I abuse my body when I sugar binge. When I workout, I'm USING my body the way it is intended. In the end, I said nothing rather than engage in an argument that would give her a chance to claim martyr status.

My husband made a comment last weekend about me "bragging" about how I ride my bike. It hurt to have him classify what I feel is an accomplishment as an opportunity to be egotistical. His lack of support drove me even lower emotionally. It really made me feel like giving up but then I realized I'd just be using his negativity as an excuse to fail. My weight loss, eating program, exercise--all of it is on me, not the people around me. I own what I am doing. I OWN WHAT I AM DOING! This is MY journey. MY success, MY failure is on MY back. It has nothing to do with what anyone else says or does. I CAN DO THIS and I AM WORTH THE EFFORT!

So. There.

Because of the urge to self-sabotage this week, I doubled-up my efforts to pack my lunch to take to work so I did not have an excuse to buy something at the cafeteria. I made sure to log my food intake right away and not let it slide until "later." I've maintained extra awareness of my caloric intake and caloric burn. And, I lost 2.2 pounds.

Learning about Robin Williams suicide has been difficult. Since all of us in the thread know what it is like to deal with depression, we know the darkness and despair. My heart aches for the pain he was dealing with. My heart aches for the pain his wife and children are dealing with. I am so sorry they are in the glare of the public eye in the wake of this tragedy. God bless them all.

Worthy— I know that this is going to be a "tough love" response to what you said about sugar, but i had exactly the same problem with sugar being my heroine, and what I had to do was to give up sugar entirely except for Very Special Occasions (such as birthday, Christmas, & recently for me, the end of the BERP, my big house decluttering operation). I started last fall by trying a period of abstinence from my Big Three sugar temptations—cookies, candy, & donuts. I was sufficiently motivated that I was able to go 58 days of that abstinence. There was a problem, though: I was still overeating on sugar things not in my Big Three, like pumpkin bars and pie. Finally, after an episode of just about making myself sick by binging on cherry pie, I decided to go sugar-free altogether. On Christmas and my birthday I allowed myself one big bar of the dark chocolate of my choice. At the end of the BERP, I had one piece of cheesecake: I ate it very slowly so as to really savor every bite. I'm on a very low-carb diet, but I have to allow myself a certain number of carbs a day or I get depressed. So every evening I have a measured amount of muesli with cream (low carb) and liquid stevia. It has helped me a lot to experiment and settle on a non-sugar sweetener I can stand: for me, it's liquid stevia. (SweetDrops brand comes in a bottle with an eye dropper and tastes much better than powdered stevia: I buy it in a health food store, but you can also find in on the Web,) I really encourage you to start by trying a period of abstinence from your worst sugar temptations, see how you feel, and then maybe graduate to being sugarfree except for Very Special Occasions. I find I feel so much better, and have so much more energy, without sugar in my diet. Please consider it!

You ladies are such an inspiration. Depression is something so many people consider taboo, so it's wonderful to be able to come here and interact with y'all and know that you all "get it."

Hello Support Buddies! I have been struggling to stay on my low carb eating plan since going off plan last weekend. I have made improvements, but still have room for more to get back to truly consistent "low carb eating." I am also slowly progressing back toward consistent exercise. Life has been so busy prior to the kids starting back to school (this coming week), so we have had to limit our time with the trainer and I have been a bit lazy about exercising at home. Once the kids start school, I will be consistently back to 2x a week with the trainer (strength training) and get a lot of walking in at home (outside and on treadmill). I have been trying not to beat myself up too badly for my slips without letting that leeway develop into laziness. This weight loss thing feels like a constant mind game I play with myself, and sometimes I get so sick of it. I can't let up, though, because I have a LONG way to go...... ONE day at a time, of course! I will call the Endocrinologist this week to get a 2nd opinion on my thyroid levels. I so hope that she will take me higher on my thyroid med, as it really feels like I have been fighting an uphill battle for a long time now. It is so incredibly frustrating!

BamaGalRN: to the group! I am happy to see you posting! It is such a relief to have a place to come where you feel a bit more "normal" and can openly discuss depression and anxiety. I hope and pray that you get the correct diagnosis and help for your stress and chronic pain symptoms. You shouldn't have to just live with chronic pain.

Fi: Sorry to hear that you have been battling depression pain again, but I know you have a plan and will stay on top of things. Feel better soon!

Holly: Great to hear from you!!! Sorry you have been struggling with healthy eating and exercise. Maybe you can EASE back into it, rather than approaching it as all or nothing??? Hope you are still enjoying your summer job! Thanks for checking in!

Worthy: I can so relate to the idea of self-sabotage. I end up somehow sabotaging myself half the time (or more). And it is really difficult to not get DOWN on yourself when it happens, which just makes things worse. Sorry you have been struggling, but you are SO CLOSE to ONEderland!!! ALLOW yourself to GET THERE!!!!! I know you can do it!!!

Chelainabear: HOORAY for your 10 pound weight loss!!! You are doing so well! Keep up the good work! Hope you can carve out a little time for yourself in the midst of your busy work schedule!

Amy: Love your new hairstyle! Hope you are able to get things straightened out with your new doc in Philly! Hang in there!

Sorry if I missed anyone! I am a bit pressed for time right now. Waving HELLO to all of you and wishing you well!!!

Just wanted to mention you both by name! Thanks for checking in when you can! You are both also valued members of our group!

First of all - hugs to all of you.
Thank you, Kathleen, for mentioning me and making me feel welcomed and valued.
Worthy, I am right there with you. I hate getting like this because it makes feel like giving up all of my projects (not just weight loss). I want to isolate myself. I don't want to socialize or go outside. I am binging on sugars again. I feel ashamed of myself. I am tired. I have been trying to be outside and with friends, but it is a struggle. I just want to lay in bed. Robin William's death has affected me. I started going downhill when MH17 crashed in Ukraine. Just feel such sadness for the world.

Like, right now I am so exhausted that I can't even remember what individual people were posting, just the general feel as a whole. I appreciate all of you and I am sorry. I am not ignoring you. I read all of the posts. I promise.

Hannah- I think you are a very special person. I'm sorry you're a bit depressed about Robin Williams' death. It's very sad. I hope that you feel better about things, I used to binge much more than I do now. I think what helped me was to pause during the binge and try to stop myself. I still overeat but it's tough, I try to not bring trigger foods home.

Believe- thank you! I really like my new hairdo. I feel a sense of relief that I found a hairstylist who I like. I had been obsessing about my hair and I feel relieved that I found someone who I like. Obsession about my hair has been a long time struggle with me, I don't know why. I'm sorry if I rambled!

Bama Girl- that is so kind of you to say! I find you being a nurse is such an inspiration! I wanted to be a nurse for so long and I finally got my med. assisting degree but I decided it's not the field for me, at least not right now.
Good for you for being a nurse!

Fiona- Good for you for your abstaining from trigger foods. That must be tough. I had abstinence in OA for a few months and I've been debating going back.

Holly- That is such a wonderful cause about the toys that you donate. How wonderful! How have you been?

I've been doing well, or at least pretty good. I saw family today, we ate a lunch out at a fun restaurant and then went to a museum. I am so glad that I got to see them. Tomorrow, I may go to church, it will be nice to get out. I'm thinking I need to get new eyeglasses!

Amy

Just a quick note to say I'm very busy getting ready for Mary's visit. She doesn't arrive until the morning of the 20th, but I have my last art-education day with Grace on the 19th, so I really have to have the guest bedroom and bath shipshape by the 18th, or at least the morning of the 19th. There's an enormous mound of clothes on the guest bed which need to be stowed somewhere: I've made a considerable dent in it, but there's more to go—plus grocery shopping, cleaning all the bathrooms, you know the drill. At least today I didn't have any depression. Just working slow, because I need lots of breaks...