Trish - I hope you are feeling better today. We are all thinking about you and hoping things are better for you.

Amy - Happy Birthday!!

Worth - Glad you like your trainer so far. Hopefully your first training session goes just as well.

Flower - I have a very similar problem with eating. I can be good for a long time and then all of a sudden I eat everything in sight. Not unusual for me to eat and entire family size bag of ruffles with 24oz of sour cream dip wash it down with a 2 liter bottle of coke and a whole cake for dessert. The only thing that really silences the hunger is doing low carb. Have you ever tried it?

I believe - Have fun at the lake!

Fi - That is an awful lot of stressors to deal with at one time. I hope you get relief from the depression pain soon. Glad you have something that helps at least a little bit. Severe pain is so debilitating. I'm really sorry about little Oscar. Hopefully he will recover soon. And the insurance thing is completely ridiculous. Now that they've gotten it corrected, I hope it will give you some peace.

Hi hannah, Holly, Pattience & Fleur.

Amy: I hope you are having a wonderful birthday!!! Relax and treat yourself well today!

Thanks Patience. I have suffered greatly depression all my life. Thats why I was drawn here. I tried posting in the maintence area. But I honestly do not belong there. I think I may not belong anywhere, lol. Story of this compulsive eating and living with depression. So alienating, to say the least. Onward.

Thanks for the encouraging comments, y'all, both about my depression and about Oscar being a wee little runt. Nénu weighs two and a half times what he does, but my breeder assures me they're all four very sweet and playful, and they sleep together in a big pile. I'm committed to him, no matter what, and I have high hopes that Nénu will take care of her smaller brother. August 3rd is the big day when we drive up and get them. I'm starting to get so excited!

As for my depression, I took a serious down day yesterday, and was rewarded by today's being nearly depression-free. Bob and I watched the Formula One race we had taped from last weekend, and were thrilled to see one of our favorite drivers win in his home country of England. During my depression days I overdid it with the sugar-free muesli and cream, but today I'm 100% back on plan. If I end up gaining a bit after this month's trials, I won't mind a bit: it will all work out in the long run. I've been off the BERP for a long time now, so tomorrow morning I need to make a strong return to the work work work!

Hi all,

Glad to see so many people active on this thread.

This weekend was...no so great...

I didn't track. I didn't move much. I didn't sleep well. I didn't eat well.

I love my friends. I really really really do. So much. But this weekend was so trying. My very dear friend is going through a severe downswing at the moment. On Saturday, she, her boyfriend, and two other friends of ours came over to play cards. She couldn't handle it. I spent hours with her on my bedroom floor until late in the night while she cried and screamed and talked down to herself. I hate to see her like this. I can hug her and be the voice against her inner tormentor, but really I feel completely useless. A similar situation happened on Sunday. All I wanted to sleep yesterday. I was so tired from staying up Saturday night. I am not used to that. I am usually in bed by ten. But that is one of the struggles you must deal with when you are an introvert surrounded by many extroverts. People want to spend time with you and have fun. To them, it is nice and relaxing. To me, it is just as draining as having to work all day. I need some alone time to recharge and I literally got none of that this weekend. So my food was utter crud. I didn't count. I do not really know how much I ate. And now I have to go to work this morning completely exhausted and I so behind at the office too so there is no way I can take a personal day.

Gosh, look how whiny this post is. Ugh. I apologize.
I see that there are so many things going on in your lives. I hope you had a wonderful birthday Amy. And I hope everyone is doing well and has a decent Monday. I will check in this evening after work (and a nap).

Hello

Trish, that is so sad that you were that down to attempt. I also hope you know you are important in this world!

Fi, I am also sending 'get big and strong' wishes to little Oscar .

Flower, I am sorry you are struggling with compulsive eating and depression, it is so hard. I agree with Monte C. that low carb does help alot with cravings.

Amy - Belated Happy Birthday!! July 13th is also my DH's birthday so I will be able to remember yours

hannahbeanies - you are such a good person to do that for your friend! and I am amazed that you just described how I feel about friends and acquaintences, they are draining! how is it they enjoy chatting and talking so much, for so long; I do my best to interact but I'd rather just sit and listen?? there is comfort for me knowing there is at least one other person in the world like me in that way

Worth - haha, enjoy those training sessions

Fleur, also wondering if had the interview at the lawyer's office? or am I behind in info?

Hi Trish, Monte C., and Pattience.

Had a good weekend camping, but did experience what hannahbeanies was just talking about, I like having fun, and that has to involve talking/interacting with people, but it is exhausting to me

I haven't weighed myself in probably 2 months, I really don't want to go into a black mood if I see a big gain

Hannah, I completely understand how being around people, especially those going through emotional stress, can be so draining. I echo Holly's words to you about what a good person you are: make sure you know your limits and take care of yourself!

Well, I feel a bit guilty. Instead of working on the big decluttering project, I spent hours making a new collage. I hope y'all find it fun to look at! =smile=

Hi there!

Thanks so much everyone for the happy birthday wishes!!! Aww, that means a lot. I'm tired, my allergies are awful but I managed to go see Jersey Boys, the movie today. It was wonderful!

I'm going to relax for a bit.

Take care!

Amy

Hi everyone,

I don't have time for personals, but wanted to let everyone know that I got the job at the law office!!!!! Also I weighed in at 179.5 over the weekend!!!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Congrats Fleur! Big congratulations on the job and losing weight!

I was just almost finished with personals and accidentally LOST my whole post..... again! I will try this again.

Sabrina: CONGRATULATIONS on getting the job at the law office AND on losing weight!!! You must be so excited. When do you start your new job?

flower123: I can totally relate to the food monster inside!!! I battle with mine constantly. Often, I succumb to its temptation, and other times it just drives me crazy. I want you to know that you are more than welcome to stay in this group and post as little or as much as you want. We care and we are here to support you!

Worthy: I hope your first weight training session went well! Don't sweat the pound that stupid scale shows you gained. You will work that off in no time!

Amy: I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

Fi: Very cool collage! I am actually glad to hear that you took a creative day off from the BERP! You must have needed it. Also happy to hear that you are 100% back on plan and nearly depression free (as of your last post)! August 3rd is just around the corner and you will have your sweet kittens!

Antonia: Interesting that you've found low carb eating to silence the food monster inside. Makes me want to try it..... again! Unfortunately, at the moment, I can't seem to stick to ANY diet.

Hannah: Sorry that your weekend was not so great. Do your best to put it behind you and move on. How wonderful that you were there for your friend. Friends CAN certainly be exhausting. I know what you mean. Remember to take care of YOURSELF, too, and know your limits and boundaries. Easier said than done, I know!

Holly: So great to hear from you! Glad to hear that you had a good time camping over the weekend. Thanks for checking in!

I am doing okay, but not moving enough and eating too much. Not a good combo! We work out with our trainer in the morning, so I need to get some sleep. Today was a very stressful day for reasons I can't go into. But I thank God that tomorrow is a BRAND NEW DAY! Another chance to get things right!

So I tried 30DS yesterday. It was a spectacular failure. I'm so soft. Made it about 5 minutes before my heartrate skyrocketed, and I had to lay down or pass out. I was having a bout of depression yesterday, so I'm sure that didn't help my stamina. So I stopped. But I'm not going to give up yet. If I stick to it, I may be able to finish the whole workout by the end of the 30 days!

Had to be at work at 5:30am which necessitated me getting up at 4:30am. Since I don't actually believe in the morning before 6, this is a great struggle for me. I'm sure it will be a hungry day, plus I didn't have time to pack any lunch, barely had time to grab my bell pepper. I forsee my special low carb power drink in the future (diet mt dew mixed with crystal lite fruit punch).

It's been a rough few days. I have been struggling with sleep and loneliness. Diet is off and on, mostly not eating much.

Well, chalk up another crappy day for me. Depression pain and overeating to boot. I kept trying to do things for the BERP, but every time I'd do something as simple as bringing back the recycle bin from the curb, or carrying something upstairs, I'd get waylaid by the same ol' pain in my chest and have to go take another Geodon and lie down and moan for a while. And Geodon makes you lethargic and also makes you crave carbos like mad. There's a reason why mentally ill people get fat, as y'all know very well!

But I did make three annoying phone calls. You know, those phone calls you put off until they desperately need to be made so you have to do 'em when you're sick of thinking about them? Where you have to pretend to be in a pleasant mood while talking to total strangers? I guess I should give myself more credit for having checked those off my list.

Anyway, Wednesday is another day. It better be a good one because on Thursday my 14-year-old great-niece Grace comes over—not just to sort clippings, but to have dinner and play with art supplies afterwards. She's going to be a freshman in high school this fall. I like her so much I want to pick her up from school once a week and have her eat with Bob & me and then do homework in my collage studio. I ran the idea by her mother during the weekend at the farm, and she liked it a lot. I did that a long time ago for my niece Margaret, the one who has an 8-year-old son now and lives nearby, and it worked out pretty well. I think Bob and I might have a lot to teach Grace, especially since she's going to take Latin and be a science nerd. =smile=

Sorry I'm not more cheerful. Thanks for the nice comments about my silly nudibranch collage. I'm thinking about each and every one of you.

I apologize profusely if I forget anyone and/or anything. I promise that it is not on purpose. I have missed quite a bit since my last post.

Fi I loved your collage! I have actually had the link open in my browser since yesterday. :P I have been meaning to comment on it. I also skimmed through a bit of your other stuff. What a wonderful talent you have. Thank you for sharing with us. And what a nice thing to do for your great niece. I am sure it is helping her just as much as it is helping you. I may be an introvert, but companionship is rather nice. And you are right. Today is another day for food! And also, thank you for your kind words in response to my post.

LilTurtle I am sorry to see that you are still struggling and it has been a hard couple of days. I am so so so so glad to see you still posting. Stick around!

Antonia Good on you for trying! I am not sure what 30DS is, though, but I am sure it is tough. And, yuck! 5:30 am for work?! Bleh. That would be very difficult.

Kathleen I love your attitude. I am very thankful for a new day, everyday! I hope you had a good session with your trainer! And thank you for the nice things you said in your previous post to me. You (and the others) are right. I do need to take care of myself.

Amy I am glad you got to relax a little.

Sabrina Woohoo!!! Congrats!!!! I am so happy for you! Let us know how it goes!

Holly Thank you for your kind words. It does help me feel better. I felt like such a rotten friend because I kept thinking about how tired I was. I was so concerned for her, but I was also feeling the tug of my own needs.

Ok. So I ended up calling off work anyway. I was SO TIRED that there was no way I could function Monday. But, I went in yesterday, and it was an ok day. I felt much more rested. But I was so swamped. I still am. I am completely buried under work. If you looked at my desk, you would just assume that I didn't do anything at all yesterday! More comes as soon as I am finished with something else. Ah. Oh well.

Good news is that I have been tracking for two days!