But I also get compliment after compliment on my butt-length hair, so it varies from woman to woman. Not ALL women automatically look better with short hair.

This is so true!

OK, that does it.

I am posting a picture of my hair in all its glory. Are you still going to tell me I "don't look as good as I think I do" or that I'm neurotic just because my hair is this long? Is it "witchy looking" just because I happen to be over 40?

I happen to like it, my husband likes it, strangers compliment it, and I'm getting tired of being stereotyped.

Geez, with a weight problem I have enough self-image issues without one of my rare *beautiful* features being attacked.

LoveBirdsFlying, I'm sorry you feel attacked. Please keep in mind that this is a thread about the general opinion of long hair on older women, and opinions are going to vary. This is not a thread about you and you personally are not being attacked.

It's just hair

It is definitely just a general opinion. I agree with PeanutsMom, when I see women with a nice shortish hair cut, I usually think 'wow that looks stylish'.

It doesn't really have to do with young or old or what not either. I remember seeing a picture of Alicia Silverstone without having her hair done (it was combed but just laying there) and thinking "wow her hair doesn't flatter her, who is that?" but if you see professional photos of her, her hair is curled and styled and looks decent.

I'm sorry that you feel attacked, it's not my intention to make anyone feel bad about themselves. Feeling good about yourself comes from within, not from others so you shouldn't depend on other people to like or not like your hair. Obviously your hair is thick and luscious and healthy and shiny and if you like it that's all that matters. Personally I don't like it because I prefer when hair is cut into a style that accentuates a woman's face. We just have a different definition of what "beautiful hair" is and that's perfectly ok.

Feeling a bit calmer now, and the last three posts are perfectly fair. I'm cool with it.

Most people who voice opinions about how older women should cut their hair, or how unattractive or unflattering long hair is, often do retract those things in my case, when they see mine. "Well, there are always exceptions...." What set me off was the thought that when people say, "women with long hair," obviously they are not talking about me individually, but that group includes me, so it's hard not to take those statements personally. I mean, if someone were to come on with a blanket statement about men, any one man would probably take offense, even though it didn't mention him by name and wasn't aimed at him in particular. And if I were to make some unfair observation that women with short hair are probably afraid to embrace their femininity, or something like that, it would be equally galling to those of you with short hair, wouldn't it? But I didn't say anything about you by name.....

Was just reading through this thread in my current idle state and really liked this response that I am quoting and agree with it.

My high school French teacher had beautiful silky straight brown hair to nearly her ankles.

I think an early inspiration of mine was my third grade teacher. She usually wore her hair in a towering bun, à la Marge Simpson (but more attractive, and brown, not blue) but one day she wore it down, and I could see that the "hemline," as it is called among long-hair fans, hit her at mid-thigh. I thought it was beautiful. This, and she was such a gentle soul. I can't ever remember her face, when it wasn't smiling. Even when she had to discipline a child, she did so quietly but firmly, and that smile didn't slip.

Here's to you (Should I say "hair's" to you?) Mrs. Spaulding! You were the best teacher I ever had.

To the OP, life is too short to worry about what TV stylists (who, if they were more creative, would feature more variety) or hyperjudgmental people think about something like hair. Does your hair break off at the bottom or does it just not grow any longer? Do you style with a blow dryer/flat iron? Something to remember is that hair extensions can damage your real hair underneath. It might be good to get recommendations for hairdressers in your area that have experience with them and can show you how to care for them. If you can afford them and you like them, go for it!

I think your hair is lovely! It's long and shiny. Don't let a few poorly made generalizations make you feel bad about your pretty hair. What's important is that you like it.

My hair is one of the few physical attributes I like about myself as well. I have curly hair and having it long reminds me of romantic paintings. I love long hair and seeing different natural textures, but I do NOT hate shorter styles or make strange generalizations about how short-haired women think. Shorter hair is more common, but that doesn't mean everyone with short hair is desperately struggling to fit in so people will like them and they can finally experience self-worth. Women with long hair don't all do it for attention or to look young or whatever other reason people who don't like it try to claim. Everyone has their own reason. There isn't any one way for everyone to look no matter how "old" society thinks they are. You can have short and trendy, long and classic--anything you like. If you take care of it and wear it well, it's still beautiful. Personally, I appreciate individuality over a set length. I think a woman can rock a completely shaved head or floorlength tresses...

at any age!

It's your hair (real or not), your time, your money. Whatever you do, have fun with it!

I am 54 with tailbone length hair that will never be cut. I think it takes less time and fuss with long hair, I can put it in an updo in a minute. I have hundreds of styles to wear it in, can wear hairstoys, and love the sensual feel of it, especially after washing. Before the 1920's the majority of women had long hair all of their lives. There is no such thing as being too old to have or do anything one wants to.



Wow, I am not only smaller than this last photo, by my hair is longer! Time to take another length photo!

Edit: Just finished reading all of the posts. How utterly sad that as overweight women we face criticism and prejudice everywhere, but when it comes from our own sisters, and now have one more standard we are pushed into living up to?.....sad sad sad. Celebrate who you are and if long hair makes you feel good, it is no one else's business if you do. It not always about beauty and fashion.

My sister is in her 60's. She has hair sort of past her shoulder blades. She wears it in a pony tail. Personally I think she'd look better with it shorter just because she doens't have time to take care of it-it's all split endy and looks freyed because she keeps using rubber bands and is the pool most days. But she likes her longer hair and will never cut it and that's ok too. She likes the convience of being able to tie it back with a rubber band and let it go. She feels that shorter hair takes too much work to keep it looking nice and you have to go get it trimmed more often and I see her point.

We had this conversation last year when she was looking for a job. I suggested she cut her hair and cover her grey to make her look younger because she'd been having problems finding work. You do know there are things that sisters can say to each other that you wouldn't say to casual friends. Well, she quickly set me straight about how wrong I was. She earned her gray hair and she wasn't cutting or coloring for anyone. Never going to mention that again. LOL She did eventually find a job so she was right.

Do what makes you feel good. If you like long hair then go for it and enjoy yourself. Don't worry about what others say, they aren't you.


Sarah in MD

Determining a flattering hair length is a fraught issue. I think it's got as many twists & turns as body type. It has to do with overall body proportions & the planes of the face & proportion of one's features, the texture & health of the hair, how it's cared for, and not least of all, the style. (I mean, we're not talking about one monolithic style or length, just "long" in general, and that's a huge umbrella to gather everything under, as I believe someone pointed out upthread: What is long to you & long to me may be two different things, like saying what "average" & "normal" are.)

Personally, I did not cut my hair really, really short until I'd lost a lot of weight.

I waited because, when I was heavier, I was trying to avoid a sort of pin-headed silhouette, or looking like one of those disproportionate snowmen that kids make with a really large round ball at the bottom & then almost a snowball sitting on top.

Also, I did not admire a certain short-haired fat woman look that I found a bit too butch for my own image, what I want to call the "good-looking former football player who's gained weight" look. Something about the heavyness under my chin looked bad with shorter hair. I felt unsexy & sexless & feared anything that might further neuter me, associating long hair with "feminine" (though I'm sure rock stars would disagree).

At least if a woman is fat & has long hair, it seems to even out the proportions a little. It has a Ye Olde Look, too. Like the woman is thinking, "****, since I've got a Victorian figure, with bust & hips, I may as well also subscribe to the Victorian notion of hair as a Woman's Crowning Glory & go full-out PreRaphaelite in my look."

And I have wondered too, with some women, that if growing the hair is a way to overcompensate for other features that she feels are not attractive. Like, "Yeah, I'm fat, but don't I have gorgeous hair?" And in a sense she cloaks her body protectively in her hair & it becomes the sexual fetish object, rather than other body parts that she's not as proud of or putting out there.

But these are all different reasons & mindsets, all applying to different kinds of women, so it's hard to generalize across the board.

I do reject the age thing categorically. As evidence, I'll offer up three accomplished & famous women:

Emmylou Harris. Wikipedia says she was born in 1947. I know that she is an undeniable beauty with long hair.

Julie Christie. She was born in 1941. In "Away From Her," her hair is long & she remains awesomely beautiful.

Kathryn Bigelow, who just won Best Director at the Academy Awards. She's nearly 60 & her hair is long & all the papers were full of talk about how beautiful she is, in addition to her brains & directorial eye.

my grandmother cut her beautiful long hair and I promise myself that if I was ever able to grow it long never to cut it