Jessica, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. Is there anything in particular that he is battling? I know that even a cold can be a problem for the elderly. I hope he gets better soon. You are lucky that you are close enough to see him so often. I am thankful that my mother can talk on the phone so we 'visit' everyday.

Renee - have you been able to get your spreadsheet set up for the gym?

mette - how was work this week?

I think I am going to paint tonight. If I can finish the touch up on the trim I will be done painting my living and dining rooms. It will be good to actually finish somiething in the house.

Work beckons...later

Hi Ladies! It’s Friday at last. TGIF and all that!

Ang – you’re right as usual: it’s good to differentiate between acceptable stress and bad stress. At least the acceptable stress has the potential of becoming something good! Hopefully you’re right – and it will all be over soon! Thank you for reminding me, I needed that!

Renee – I like your exercise plan a lot! 3 days a week worked well for me too. As for food: maybe you can keep your main focus on getting the exercise done for a couple of weeks, and just try to keep your eating resembling what you have eaten for the last days for now?
A few PT sessions sounds like an excellent idea too – and reevaluating weight goals is something I do constantly. I can see that Ang is 100% correct about this too, btw: and it’s probably not the right time to do that when you’re really stressed out.

As for the speed of building muscle – you really have to ask somebody else! (Jessica???) I have no idea! My focus has just been on getting stronger (which I have). I don’t even do measurements. I know I'm getting fitter, but the important part for me is that I'm getting stronger!
From what I've read - progress takes time, one should be patient and all that - but it's all probably different for everybody! Ask the PT if you get one!
I’ll resend the e-mail if I can find it, I probably deleted it. I’ll see what I can do.

Ang – I think what you think: it’s better for me not to buy the trigger food I think. Maybe I can keep it as a special treat and just not buy it very often. Like once every 6 months or something…

How did the insulation of your house go? Hopefully you’ll be able to keep warm from now on!
I don’t sleep well when I’m stressed either, Ang. I work with patients who live with chronic pain (different reasons), and with some of them I teach muscle relaxation exercises to help people control their pain a little better, since many patients have chronic unconscious muscle tension from living with pain. And the two weeks I’ve been there, I’ve been a little stressed out at times and haven’t slept very well – so I’ve been trying out these techniques on myself at night, in bed, when I can’t sleep. Sometimes they do help. Just focusing on your breathing and letting thoughts just pop up and float away without getting caught up in them can help me fall asleep.
Have you ever tried relaxations exercises, yoga, meditation, or similar things, Ang?

Jessica – I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I hope he’ll get better soon! It sounds very nice for you (and him) that you get to spend a lot of time with him and your grandmother, though.
All of us are living stressful lives these days! But at least you’re doing the relaxation exercises, Jessica! Good for you!

I’m off to do some more work. See you guys later. Have a wonderful Friday!

Where did everybody go?

I hope you all had great weekends - mine was OK. I got some work done, and some house work too: a bit cleaning and tidying is always a good thing.
I just wanted to pop my head in and say “hi” – I don’t have much to say right now. Not having the best of days these days, but hoping they’ll get better soon.
Have good Mondays everybody!

Where did my posting go? I had posted on Saturday but it doesn't seem to be here. How frustrating.

My weekend was so-so because I was sick the whole time. I am still battling being tired and a cough but have to finish a paper by tomorrow so I am at work. It's hard to concentrate though and not much time left so sorry this is short.

On top of everything I did not get much sleep last night because Rhody's (farmer) neighbor decided to call me at midnight and accuse me of taking advantage of Rhody. The nerve. Especially considering I was sick, which I told her, who calls that late. I did not appreciate her attitude. I told bf about it (Rhody's nephew) and he was not happy. He may actually call her and tell her off a little. We'll see.

mette - what's wrong that you are not having the best of days? Talk to us...we want to listen.

mette - I went through a period of time where I bought almost nothing to eat in my house because I was too scared that I'd eat it all (because I would have). I just spent some time trying to be more 'normal' and the problems are coming back. I think I am going back to not buying anything for the house that isn't 'approved' until I can figure out how to control my feellings/life/eating. Overall you seem to have much better control but if there are certain problem foods sometimes you just can't keep them handy all of the time. How are your cravings these days?

BTW - the insulation is finally done at my house. I still have to have the inspection and complain about some broken shingles, but they are gone and the house can only be warmer. BF and I are now putting rollout insulation in the attic and have gotten 1/3 done. I think I may already be able to tell a little difference, although it could be the warm (40s) weather we're having.

Still having trouble sleeping. I have taken some classes in relaxation and breathing, etc. I think I'll have to try them again.

Take care everyone.

Hi Ang – good to see you here, but sorry you’ve been sick – and that you have to be at work when you’re not feeling well.
Sorry about rude neighbours calling in the middle of the night too! Really – who does that??? Calling up people for upsetting conversations at midnight? Good to hear the bf wasn’t happy either!

As for me - I’m just feeling down these days. It feels like I’m not having enough energy. I can’t remember whether I’ve told you that I started up in therapy again last October, and my new therapist is wonderful – I really like her. I’ve had periods of depression throughout my twenties and thirties – so I’m a bit scared that I’m on the verge of another long term depression. It helps to have somebody like my therapist telling me and reminding me that not everything repeats itself – sometimes things get better because you’ve learnt better ways of coping. I’m not destined to get depressed again, even if I’ve been depressed several times before. So I’m trying to keep active and social, even if it means that I have to spend a lot of my energy doing things I normally do effortlessly.

And I have to clean up my eating too; eating really is the first thing to “go” when I get like this. The cravings get too hard to handle somehow – or maybe I’ve spent all my energy on other things. And I can’t see that eating well makes me feel better in the long term – I can just see that eating makes me feel good/numb/relaxed right now. I think maybe I’ll get out my old food journal and start writing down what I eat, where I eat, why I eat, and how I feel when I eat it again.

Good to hear that the insulation is done! And good luck on your paper – hopefully you’ll sleep better without rude neighbours calling! (And I’m sure that you know that sex is the best sleep medication ever!?!? )

Take care!

Hey ladies. Just checking in. Things are nuts lately. I had a lovely weekend and the new horse farm rescue place is great. I'll definitely return there.

Woke up sick on Sunday so skipped the gym and really kind of feel bad about it. Not sure I am ready to go back to it today, still a bit off.

Just called and went through the hassle of changing my gyne doc. I am tired of feeling like they won't work with me. They keep giving me the 'Lets try a new brand of Birth Control' approach when a) my mother and grandmother died of breast cancer and the link between the two is in constant debate b) my last pap came back slightly abnormal and c) I've been spotting for a full twenty days now. I mean really, can we get this sorted out for good?

The even more frustrating part was that I had to pay $20 to get the old office to release to mail me my OWN records! I hate our health care in this country, I really do.

Eating has not been good, but not been bad. Now that I am sick, I feel less motivated to make healthy choices, and just go for the easy ones.

Ending on a happy note, I went out with friends on Friday who had not seen me in four months, and they did a shot in honor of my weight loss and looking good. Everyone commented on it, and the one girl who started SBD with me said 'Hey skinny' when I walked in. It felt very good. And really makes me want to keep going. -Well, once I am over this cold.

Oh and mette - got the email, looks awesome. Way better than my crappy sheet did. Hehe. Thanks!

Wednesday already. Just checking in.

Renee – best of luck in your hunt for a new, improved doc. And good to hear that you liked the new horse farm.
I love to hear others' stories about weight loss and other people noticing – like your friends did the other night, Renee. But when it happens to me, I’m always embarrassed and end up explaining, making excuses, or just babbling! It seems I still haven’t learned how to execute the simple and graceful “Thank you”! Good to hear that you have!

Ang – hope you’re doing well with your stress and your paper and your neighbours and sickness!

Jessica - hope you're doing well too. And that your grandfather is getting better.

Nothing new here. Just long stressful days. I started reading the “Lucifer” series (graphic novels) by Mike Carey a while back, and I just got the 4th book of the series – so I’m looking forward to my coach, a blanket, possibly some hot cocoa – and a brand new book! It’s going to be the highlight of my week I think!

Hi Ladies - still sick here so going to take another nap. I just wanted to say hello. I'll be back wihen I can stand sitting at the computer for more than 1 minute.

Renee - I hope you are feeling better.
mette - Are you enjoying your book?

I rented a couple of movies so I'm going to nap while watching one.

Hey gals.

Ang- Ugh, I know how that goes, I've been fighting off a minor cold since Sunday. It hasn't gotten to the miserable stage yet, but enough to be annoying and make you tired and lazy.

And the only breafkast that feels good to eat on my sore throat is burritos! Bad me!! On the flip side, I am eating so little the burritos are not likely to really hurt me too much.

What has me more frustrated is how well I was doing with going to the gym, and now I haven't gone in 5 days because I've been too blah and sore and sniffly. I'm hoping that by this weekend, I'll be better.

Not much else going on, other than being really tired of winter. I need to find a place to live that has a shorter winter. This is too much. :P I need sun darnit!

Hope everyone feels better, gets better, etc etc. Talk to you guys later.

Hope you guys are OK and doing well!

I’m starting to get into a routine and getting more of a grip on my days. I had some out-of-control eating days that kind of freaked me out for a while there. I’m always scared when I overeat completely out of control, because I always think that it will never end – and that I’m going to end up gaining 100lbs.
But right now, things are coming together a little, I think. So that’s my good news.

Sorry about the short post – I just got a surprise visit from my niece this weekend. Which was very nice.
Have great weekends everybody!

Hi everyone,

Ang and Renee, are you both feeling better? I think we're all in the same boat!

I've had the flu since last Saturday. I finally started getting better on Wednesday of this week, went back to work on Thursday. That's the second time I've been really sick already this year. It's putting a bit of a damper on my "healthy" plan for the year, but I'll get through. I've used up all of my sick time and I'm sure they aren't thrilled in my office that I've been out, but what can you do?

Renee: Normally I'd tell you to come move to So Cal near me, but we've had so much RAIN this winter, it's not really the fun, sunny place it usually is. I hope your weather gets better soon.

Mette: I'm sorry you've been feeling down lately. I'm glad you like your new therapist, though. I know that it can really help to have a trained, unbiassed person to talk with when you're going through tough times.

Thanks everyone for their wishes for my grandpa. He's doing really well (considering the Dr. didn't think he would survive that first night) and is back in the nursing home with grandma. I haven't been to visit since I've been sick and hopefully will spend some time with them this weekend.

Other than that, not much new here. I bought a really awsome "Cooking Light" magazine that has so many delicious sounding recipes, I hardly know where to start. I better get my grocery list together!

Talk to you all soon!

Hi there...sorry I was gone for so long but I stayed out sick the rest of the week and just wasn't on the computer. I'm off to bed now but wanted to say hello. I hope everyone is well and I will write more and respond to the posts I missed tomorrow (back to work).

Hey ladies.

Things are going alright here. I am still hovering at the same weight despite no exercise and really, not too much of an eating regime. I am hoping to get back on track with it today - though the ice cream at home needs to go.

I had an alright weekend. I am feeling alright, but not yet fully better. I still get sniffles and at night, sometimes my nose heh heh, it whistles when I breath, and it wakes me up!

My sister is out of town until Thursday, meaning my bro-in-law will be doing the cooking. Last night he made chicken and fresh steamed cauliflower. Not too bad!

I am planning on getting back to the gym this week too. I hope I haven't lost my interest. Right now, I am sorta 'eh, I should go' - as opposed to the 'Oh I wanna go, so I don't miss a single day in my plan.' It's amazing how quick habits (that you didn't want) can fall back into non-existence.

Anyway, that's where we are for now. Been rainy, cold and damp for a week or so now. Bleeeeeh.

Here's to a good week for all of us!

It's amazing how far behind you get when you get sick (or take vacation - or so I'm told ). I'm finally feeling a lot better and getting back in control of work stuff.

Renee - how are things going with your new gyn? I hope you get that all straightened out soon. Issues like those can be very frightening. My mother had cervical cancer so I get a little extra anxious. You need to give yourself a break while you are sick. You were doing so well and you can get back to it. Unfortunately getting sick hit you at a bad time. Habits can come and go pretty easily. Try to remember what made you start last time and after a couple of times you'll probably be right back into it. You have a cool spreadsheet to fill in. Let us know when you get back to the gym.

mette - Was your eating a reaction to your stress? Do you feel better about school now? Have you done anything in particular to try to get things to come together for you? I hope you had a great weekend with your niece.

Jessica - Have you been able to visit your grandparents? How about the recipes? Any good ones to share? I actually cooked last night for bf. In some ways I am eating better with him around. We cook at my house semi-regularly so I am relearning what a pot is for.

Being sick is definitely not a good thing. Jessica - your coworkers can't blame you for being sick. You could've gone in and given it to them if they would have rathered.

It is 50 and sunny here today and I am stuck inside. It's still nice to see the sun out of my window. Tomorrow I change offices and get a view of a horse farm! i can't wait.

Back to work - I finished the papers I was working on and now it's off to the next thing. btw - One of my papers was accepted for a conference in June. I will be going to Las Vegas - never been and kind of excited. I think bf may come with me. That would be a first (to have a companion on one of these trips).

I hope everyone is feeling better - new week, new opportunities.


P.S. sorry to include something not upbeat, but it looks like my farmer friend (Rhody) is dying. He has pneumonia in his nursing home and the doctors are 'making him comfortable" because he doesn't want to be revived. It's sad but probably for the best if he wasn't going to get much better. He hated being away from home on his tractor. I just don't deal with death well at all but I need to be there for bf. It could make for a very awkward time coming up.

…even if I’m a bit late. I did have a nice weekend with my niece, spent Monday trying to study, and yesterday after work I went out for beers with friends. I don’t drink a lot of alcohol so I feel a bit off today…
Hope everybody’s feeling better and that you’re all back to your old healthy selves!

Jessica – good to hear your grandfather is doing well.
Ang – great that you’re back in control at work, and big congratulations on getting your paper accepted! You go girl!
Sorry about your farmer friend though – must be hard for both you and your bf.

My eating was definitely a reaction to stress and the big change in my daily routines. The first two weeks at “work” was very stressful (I was scared most of the time – afraid to make mistakes, afraid that I wouldn’t know what to do, afraid that I’d make everybody worse, etc etc.) – I had to have some serious conversations with my anxiety to get some perspective on the catastrophes I imagined all the time.
After 3-4 weeks I’m calming down, and I’m getting into more of a routine with my eating, exercise, sleeping, etc – you know: the basic stuff.

To stop myself eating chocolate and cookies everyday I added good things into my evenings (I did all my overeating in the evenings after work): proper food to eat, cups of hot spicy tea, naps under the blanket, nice books to read, nice movies to watch, nice people to spend time with. And I didn’t force myself to stop eating sweets – I knew that the eating was, on one level, my way of trying to give myself something good, trying to take care of myself in the midst of being stressed out. So I just tried to keep my eyes open (what am I feeling? What is the chocolate doing for me? How can I get that without overeating?), I recorded everything I ate – even when I had 3000+ days. In a week and a half I got my eating together again. And I didn’t gain more than a pound or two.

It was the first out-of-control-overeating-period I’ve had in almost a year, and it scared me. I found myself afraid that I was going to eat, eat, and eat – and never stop.
Being able to put into use the stuff I’ve learned the last year, and break the binging-cycle early makes me feel very good about my ability to manage bad periods too. I feel safer. And I’ve found that I can live very well being somebody who overeats chocolate and cookies a couple of weeks when my life changes dramatically.

I’m off to do something useful. Have nice Wednesdays everybody!