Coop good to hear from you!! so you started a new med in the beginning of April, has it been working for you with no bad side effects? Hope so!

HI to everyone

this morning I did Day 5 of the beginner's HIIT workout challenge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1THUq5t0R-Y

then headed outside for more yard work, man o man I am so thrilled at what I accomplished today!! a seemingly impenetratible (spelling??) border of horrible stupid branchy things, I had to use the loppers and sawed at some, then to remove YEARS of raked leaves from that area, but OH my gosh it looks better!!

Side effects aren't too bad just now, just feeling quite queasy. It's helped me lose a few lbs at least... I do hope they will work, but I won't know for a couple of months!

Are you still pain-free from the op? Hooe any swelling has gone away!

Rin - Welcome. I read your post about your presentation a few days back. I too have to speak in front of groups and make presentations as part of my job. I am always nervous, but find most of the time people don't notice as much as i think they do. However, I am on Klonapin and it helps a lot with my general anxiety. I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you thought! I don't think the side effects are bad at all. It helps me sleep and I go through my day more relaxed.

Lisa - how is the new job?

Holly - your posts make me laugh and smile. you are a hard worker! (even if you get a two dollar tip for your efforts - his is a jerk!)

Everyone else you are in my thoughts! Welcome Manda!

I had a extremely tough week on my willpower this week, but was 100% true to my diet! We had clients in and food and drink was everywhere to tempt me. As a reward for my great willpower, my weight finally dropped below 200 for the first time in 5 years or so! I was pleased and sad to think about how far i let things get out of hand, but in general it was a wonderful moment.

I love this group you keep me going!

Hello all, just checking in while I have a minute - I think it would be good to do a little update, plus I have a question and would love some input.

First, my boss was asked to resign, so that has made things very busy for me, as we are closing out clients and getting some transferred to other therapists. I am a little frustrated because there are things I've asked about repeatedly that he suddenly wants to be caught up on. I first reminded myself that his poor planning doesn't mean I have to put my family's life in upheaval...and then I reminded him that I agreed to 15-20 hours a week and am not available to do much more than that. At this point, he is looking for a new agency for employment, and there may be a week or two when I will have less to do (which would be just fine).

Other than that, we had a lovely start to spring, then a blizzard. It was our second storm like this, and I'm fairly certain we've lost our fruit on the apricot trees. The others have not blossomed yet, so I hold out hope for them. We have baby chicks in a tote box in my daughter's bathroom and I have a basket full of garden seeds I'm eager to plant...as soon as the weather turns 'for real'.

My husband decided he needs to eat differently to improve his health, and I am glad for it. He has really cut back on the junk and is watching his sugar intake, which is good for me because then there is less of that stuff in the house. I'm happy about that, and enjoying trying new recipes and tweaking old ones.

Finally...I've been having anxiety and some panic attacks for the past few months. I had this before, saw a therapist, got some help and got lots better. There have been many changes since then, a couple years have gone by, and I am wanting to see her again. Before, my cost was $25 a session, but now with changes in insurance, she is not even on my plan (which, if she were , it would be deductible and I'd still pay 100%). Now it will be $85. I'm debating what to do, because if I were to see someone 'on plan' the $ would at least go toward our deductible. On the other hand, she already knows me, I know her, the intake session would not be lost to paperwork and building rapport so much as catching up and setting goals.....what would you do? I plan to go every other week (she OK'd that) to 'stretch' the time a bit, and I can probably affort to do about 6-7 sessions before I think it's costing us too much. If you have thoughts, I'd really appreciate your input.

Other than all that (this is long!) I'm still not motivated to exercise at all, and I think that has to do with some negative body image stuff....or maybe I'm just lazy. I hope y'all are doing well! I plan to come back tonight and get caught up on everyone's postings.

EasySpirit - congrats on your stretch of choco-free days! Cheering you on and hoping you're doing well with everything!

VermontMom - good for you with your new workout! I will work at things all day, but I'm terrible about doing things that are just for the sake of exercise. I hope it goes well for you as you move forward!

IBelieveInMe2, how are you feeling? I hope you're still recovering well and feeling good as you're healing.

LisaLuvsHearts, I'm a rubber stamper, which is similar to scrapbooking sometimes. I am going to make Mother's Day cards for my mom and mom in law. They have a pocket on the front that is a flowerpot, and I am going to tuck in some flower seeds. The rest is mostly stamped with butterflies, flowers, springtime stuff! I have to think about the quote or saying to add, then I'll be all set.

Rin, I used to be really nervous speaking in front of people. Now, one of my side jobs is animal programs for children in our library district. I've had as many as 400 people (it's usually a lot less), and sometimes the newspaper or a tv station shows up. I always think I sound like a dolt, but I get good response from people and they think it's great....so I bet you did fine. We often worry when we're nervous, even when things are OK.

Coop, I want to be nosy and ask if 'coop' has anything to do with chickens? I'm a bit of a crazy chicken lady. (that's one of the programs I do for the library district!)

PurpleCow, good for you, sticking to your plan! I am not good about that. There, I said it.

I hope I didn't miss anyone. If I did, I'm really sorry! I'll try to be better about checking in more frequently.

If i were you I would stay with Therapist you know. It takes so long to build relationship and sometimes you get a therapist you just don't feel comfortable with. My 2 cents from my experience..... My company switched plans and i paid out of pocket to see my therapist for a while (until we convinced them to switch back to old insurance.) It was rough, but worth it in the end. Best of luck to you! anxiety attacks are no fun....

Hi everyone,

I am so sad and down today. I don't have any food for supper and I don't really care. I am full of grief. They said I would have bad days but I didn't see this coming. I am sitting here crying for my mom. I just miss her. There really isn't much more to say.


Much love to all.

Oh, LisaLuvsHearts...big fat hugs (from big fat me!). I am sorry you're having a bad day. You're in my thoughts....

PurpleCow, I agree about therapy and finding someone who is a good fit. At one point over the weekend, I had emailed her to say I was going to put it off for a bit, think things over, all that. Last night I had a really awful panic attack, and I wrote her back this morning. We meet Wednesday at 9.

The way my panic attacks present, I fall asleep, and then wake up an hour or so earlier already in the midst of all the icky physical stuff. I walk/pace the house for about half an hour, then usually I can sit down...and eventually go back to sleep. Last night I could feel it coming before I ever went to sleep. It was more intense than usual, and kind of scary. I considered going to the ER, but didn't...and ended up having a shot of brandy (which is something I almost never do - I don't drink and probably hadn't had anything in 2 years). I am tired today, from the lack of sleep, the tremors, etc. Hopefully tonight will be better.

My day has gone OK, and I hope all of you have done OK today too. If so, tell us about your day! If not, tell us about your day! One thing I love about here is the support that is available in good times and bad. Thank you all for that.

Whoa!! that is so great, congrats!!

poor Lisa! I am so sorry you are overwhelmed with grief today, and feeling worried about your lack of food too we are sending you HUGS

catinhat - I am sorry about the change in employment, I hope it works out to YOUR advantage somehow I am very sorry to hear about the stupid blizzard and the apricot trees, I hope all your other growing things are safe!! (chicks too! ) I have no experience with therapists but I would also say try to connect with your previous person, you have that attachment and I 'm sure it will be worth the money

I would say you get quite a workout with your homestead!!

I don't have experience with panic attacks but they sure sound crummy

Hello to everyone else! I did the responses above, to lessen the chance of ripping out my hair when I lose them in cyberspace

Yesterday and today was more intense yard work, I can't believe what I have accomplished clearing areas that were heavily brush and years of leaves and sticks. Also went on my de-forestation when I needed a break from raking and pulling raspberry vines; cut down dozens more of scruffy little saplings. Also discovered about 4 little evergreens struggling to grow, i cleared out stuff around them to help them.

Been visiting my 3 new rhubarb plants and talking to them

Treated myself to a new pair of loppers from the hardware store, a girl's gotta have the right tools, lol.

Today was Day 7 of the challenge that I'm doing, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPULneNy6L0 and lucky me, it was devoted to stretching/yoga. I don't know much about yoga but I did my best and the stretching felt so great and I was all melty-feeling afterward.

Trying very hard to focus on eating more 'whole' type foods and less processed. It helps that we don't have crackers, chips or cookies or anything 'good' in the house bit I can't give up whole wheat bread toast, or burrito wraps, or wheat english muffins.

I won't get on the scale either, I have NO idea how much i weigh, but that scale does more to depress me than clothing sizes. Last year (or the year before) I actually took the scale and put it in the garage because I couldn't stay off it and got too frustrated when it wouldnt' show a loss, or would show a gain.

OH best of all we got out on the bikes yesterday When I was a newbie, I used to worry that I would forget, in the Spring, how to ride, lol, No problems with that anymore, it felt SO great. I am always extra careful early in the season, watching for sand and gravel, oh and especially JERK drivers who pull out in front of me, wouldn't you know that happened on my FIRST DAY OUT, luckily it was warm and the wretched driver had their window open so they surely heard what i yelled at them

good morning! just finished my sweat for the day, first Day 8 of the HIIT Challenge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8Pk2bQL-E4 , then a total heart blaster that I found, this woman is a machine I modified alot but I loved the thumpthumpthump of the techno music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-qzczRRqpM

Still a little cool outside, 41, and drying up from last night's rain so I will wait a bit before i go out for more yard stuff.

Lisa, I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Do they sell rescue remedy over there at all? It's a herbal remedy that's popular over here for it's calming effect. Just a few drops in a bottle of water would stop me feeling close to tears all the time, it really helped get me through a hard day.

Catinhat - hope you get things withwork sorted! Afraid coop isn't chicken related... my last name is Cooper, so it was just a nickname.