slmn11: Absolutely! I frequently feel the urge to overeat, and DO overeat when I will be somewhere that I don't think there will be any food. I'm trying to work on that now, actually.

One thing that helps is if I take a snack that I know will fill me up enough that I won't be hungry (a Clif bar, some almonds and a tangerine, etc.).

Another thing that I've found helps is to never let myself get too hungry. Then that mindset kicks in where I'm like, "OMG, there's no food. I have to find food." No idea why. It's baffling. Consciously I know I'll never starve, but subconsciously I know no such thing. Carrying a snack helps with this, too. Then I can nibble on it, or I at least know it's there if needed.

---

And on the topic of natural thinness, I do think there is something to the whole genetics thing. Some people honestly need less food to be a certain weight, some people are predisposed to eat more/less and move more/less. But a lot of it is also environment (transportation, available foods, income, culture, family, etc.) and how you were raised. Kids who are overweight/obese are much more likely to remain so as adults.

I think some of it is genetics and a lot is environment, and that habits are very, very important. I think naturally easily-gain-weight people can lose the weight, but it would take a drastic life change that many cannot or will not do.

lin43: And as for the differences between now and the 1930s or 40s, I think in earlier decades food was not as abundant or easily accessible, normal portions were smaller, and people had to move a lot more (fewer people owned cars, people grew their own food, more physical-work jobs, etc.). So those things kept genetics/predispositions in check in a way.

I can easily imagine that someone who doesn't experience constant food cravings, and has a mild appetite, could be "naturally thin."

The issue I've been having all my life is with people who believe hunger is all in your head. Someone who is 'naturally thin' might exercise some restraint but when they see chocolate cake, even if they want it a bit, they don't necessarily want to eat it as much as someone who struggles with cravings. The strength of a craving and an urge to overeat varies between people and I think a lot of the prejudice that forms is from people who honestly believe everyone staring at a treat is feeling the exact same feelings all the time. It's simply not true.

So people have this idea that everyone feels the same way and then they find it simple to cut back a bit, exercise a little more and they lose weight and it doesn't feel so hard. They are assuming that for us it should be the same way, but it isn't for everyone.

That's something I wish people could see.

I absolutely, totally, 10000% agree. As I've mentioned before on this board, I realized this at age 8 when my best friend opened a drawer and retrieved some Halloween candy she'd collected several months earlier. I asked her how she'd been able to resist eating it all those months, and she told me she'd simply forgotten about it.

I firmly believe that differences in what I call attraction to food account for most of the differences in weight among people, rather than differences in metabolic rate.

F.

I'm having a similar experience now. My housemates are a young couple who are both very, very thin (the female is 6' tall and 130-135 pounds; she occasionally models). They generally cook very healthy, fresh food, but they also keep ENORMOUS quantities of junk food in the house... ice cream, giant Costco-size bags of candy bar "minis", grocer bakery cookies, several different kinds of chips. But unlike yours truly, whose attention zooms in on the junk as soon as hits my visual field, they don't seem to notice it even though it's out in the open. Sometimes at night they'll sit on the couch and watch TV with the bag of minis between them, and over the course of a two hour movie they'll each have eaten two or three... it's been sitting on the kitchen counter for six months now and it's still over half full. There are four half-eaten pints of ice cream in the freezer, three of which haven't been touched in ages (major freezer burn gives it away). I'm afraid to see what the chips look like, who knows how old all those bags are.

When they dig into the fresh bakery cookies, they'll each break off a chunk of one, eat it over the course of five minutes and be satisfied with just those couple of bites.

"Naturally thin" people are just... different. They enjoy food, maybe even tremendously so, but without feeling any compulsive urges to eat it.

[QUOTE=Ija;4732879
When they dig into the fresh bakery cookies, they'll each break off a chunk of one, eat it over the course of five minutes and be satisfied with just those couple of bites.[/QUOTE]

God, that's annoying (because I envy it, of course).

F.

I'm starting to accept that, for me, food is tempting to a point where it's sometimes impossible to resist.

Some people have this, some people don't. I might live with it forever, but I'd rather try to work with what I know about myself so that I can lose this weight and be healthier, instead of worry about how some people have it easier.

Some people are born deformed or lose limbs and a lot of them continue on to do things they love and I imagine it's incredibly hard for them but if they thought all the time about how some people don't have to deal with the thing they're dealing with they would probably never even try.

I've dreamed about finding a way to be like those people, but I think in the end the best thing is eating less, or no, processed foods, avoid drinking your calories, eat satisfying foods and exercise for your mental health. Doing things you love that aren't food related and try to come to peace with that part of yourself.

I know I haven't had success yet, but I firmly believe in staying positive and pushing on. So many people give up and I refuse to do that.

Maybe as time goes on things will get easier, but I have to say that I absolutely can not eat half a cookie and be okay.

I just want to say Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, freelancemomma and everyone who's been sharing their thoughts. Reading your comments and experiences has been so interesting, and not every day you stubmle across something that changes the way you percieve yourself and your own life.
As I was reading this, I actually had tears in my eyes and I wondered why...then I realized I've always pretty much thought I WAS THE ONLY ONE.

I always, even subconsciously, thought I was the only one not to be able to eat half a cookie and be satisfied...the only one who will have full dinner but always find a space for dessert, I've always thought I was kind of broken in this way. I mean if you asked me, I would just down right tell you it's not the case and surely there are other obese people who have a same problem, but I didn't really LIVE as if it was a truth. I've lived in some sort of mental isolation from others, always trying to hide my cravings (because I could see my friends and family were not like that at all). I mean if we went on a trip with friends and cooked together, I would bring extra cookies and chocolate and HIDE IT, just so that I could eat after we've had oure common dinner everyone seemed to be satisfied with. Things like that, you know? The feeling you have to keep it secret, because you are weird.

Just knowing it's not me, but some sort of a genetical/upbringing/environmental mixture that messes with other people's heads too just made my life a lot easier in some way.

I still have to fight my cravings, my hate of excercising, I will have to watch what I eat and how I eat for the rest of my life...but somehow I now feel less quilty of it, and more ready to accept it as a simple truth, not anymore defeated by comparing my own eating ways to the ways of my friends...thank you so much!

This is the truth for many of us. It's classic binge-eater or COE mentality. The fear of being without food, the secretiveness of hiding food. For many years the only way I could cope with my anxiety issues was to hide a bag of chips in my closet. As long as I knew the bag of chips was there I would feel calm. And always, always this feeling of not understanding how others were satisfied with a light dinner. I wouldn't even call it an addiction, it's like living in an alternate universe, a universe where one is only comfortable with the over abundance of food.

LOL!--My thoughts exactly!

Oh Ronja, you're NOT the only one, by a long shot. And believe it or not, many of us folks maintaining huge losses still struggle with this. It CAN be managed and even beaten, effectively, even if the temptation doesn't go away. Learning strategies that work for our individual bodies and minds and then reinforcing them day after day really is what it takes for most of us. It's doable, definitely.

It is doable, without a doubt.

I was naturally skinny for quite a few years. Over time, I guess I got less exercise and got older and the eating caught up with me. Somewhere along the way, I started hiding and sneaking food. It seems pretty similar to hiding a bottle of booze to consume in private. I have done that, too, but quit some time back.

Two things happened that helped me with the need to have food always available. First, I realized that nothing bad would happen if I didn't have extra food with me. I wouldn't starve and die over the period of a weekend. Second, I started carrying something healthy with me when I knew I might get genuinely hungry. Like on a day out of town shopping where lunch might get delayed.

I was at a mountain cabin with friends last weekend. People brought all kinds of good food; some healthy, some not. My friend and I stopped at the grocery store for bird seed!?, and as an afterthought, I bought this huge bag of mandarin oranges because it was on sale, and I am trying to eat healthy. I dumped the oranges in a bowl and put it out to share. Folks just fell on those oranges. Everyone was munching away with orange fingers and peelings all over the place. None of these people are overweight and maybe they just like healthier food. I was really impressed with their gusto. I reserve that kind of love for things like cheese cake.

I think those we are calling naturally skinny might have naturally good eating habits coupled with a lack of attraction to food that many of us on here feel. I never had good eating habits even when I was a supper skinny child. Improving our eating habits is just one more tool we can use in the fight against our "fatal attraction". It is certainly less damaging to eat a bag of oranges than a whole cheese cake.

This has been a great discussion. Thanks for starting it, Freelance.

The phrase you used interested me, Gayle: "... those we are calling naturally skinny. ..."

For me that sums this up and I agree with you about those some are calling naturally skinny having better eating habits that some of us (meaning me).

Sorry to post again. This is a great discussion but I do have a little issue with the 3FC threads that seem to pop up that are kind of like discussing labels some put on others such as "naturally skinny" and to paraphrase others: things our thin friends don't get or things obese people don't get (think I saw one like that) or, for that matter talking about "us" as in we who are on 3FC.

I think everyone is human and weight is a function of various things and that not everyone on 3FC is naturally overweight or naturally thin. I think that could be a discouraging concept for anyone who struggles with weight or food issues. We do not all think alike, want the same things, or see things in the same light. Our bodies don't all function exactly the same way but we are all subject to the biology of being human.

Still, a very good discussion and hope everyone has a good day.

My father was never overweight but he was sick. My mother was "normal size" until after he passed away. She was 41 at that time...I was 11. I don't know why she gained weight after he died, and I never even gave it a thought until reading this thread. I was "normal size" until I got my first job. Before that I ate all my meals at home. After I started eating lunch in restaurants I started to gain weight. I didn't realize that I was eating a dinner-size meal at lunch time. When I realized I was gaining, I started to watch and maintained my weight around 130 lbs for years. I was not naturally thin. I had to really watch my eating and exercised regularly. It was after I got married that I put on all this weight. My husband wants me to eat when he eats. Because I love food, I was all to willing, but now I'm sorry I did it. I can't seem to get back to the lifestyle I maintained for so long. I don't understand why he can't eat unless I'm eating too. If I want something, I don't care if no one else is eating!