Yesterday
OP Food
OP Supplements
Planned exercise: 30 minutes

I definitely get more out of swimming, but better to be moving in some way than not at all!

I'm giving myself an extra one for not turning to food under the stress of my exams/essays

onebyone: Have I mentioned lately that you rock? Bummer about the family I highly recommend a "family-style" thanksgiving with good friends. I did this one year when my parents were out of town visiting extended family. It was my brother, his fiance, my future hubby and good friend and my niece. We wore rennaisance garb and did it picnick style on the living room floor in front of the fireplace. It's the most memorable thanksgiving I've ever had.

I don't know about your body's reaction to losing fat tissue. I think that we are genetically programed to endure famine, which really does work against us when we don't have famine to endure. I don't think I've ever really seen it translate into sabotaging thoughts other than, "I'd better eat this - who knows when my next chance will be?" I just keep reminding myself that food is plentiful right now and there will or have been other opportunities to eat this type of food, so chill.

Still, I think understanding what types of thoughts signal what type of situation is a good way of monitoring your progress and reassuring yourself that this IS happening.

Robin: Although my hubby and I have a television, we don't have any cable or antenna - the TV is for video games We haven't watched tv regularly since 2000. Any series that we like to follow, we watch on the Internet or at my Mom's house during laundry (either recorded or on demand). Not only have we been more productive, but I think our moods and attitudes are better than they were when we got a steady diet of programming.

Good luck working out the TV thing with hubby.

Jean: I think tap dancing is a wonderful idea! When I was in high school, I was in a folkdancing troup. I'm sure that I'd enjoy it as much now, if my body were more cooperative. My vote: go for it!

Bill: for passing potato chips!

angelmomma210: I hope you're doing better.

Diet Coaches - Minor victory: Went to lunch with two guys at a Chinese restaurant. I had #1. Somewhere after half done, I begin to notice the feeling of mildly full. Started thinking the thought that I didn't have to finish it even though I wouldn't take home the rest - being mostly white rice with sauce, the broccoli having been snarfed first. So, with maybe a third of the dish remaining, I actually stopped eating and left food in the bowl to be discarded. Don't recall ever doing that before at a restaurant. CREDIT moi.

onebyone - Kudos for continuing with the Spongebob lunchbox, and Hemi-Kudos for the water "most days." Good luck kicking the artificial sweetners. LOL at your image of groveling around in the bowl of potato chips with big mitt gloves.

Robin (RobinW) - Ouch for having a filing replaced, even though that contributed to a gentle diet of toast and eggs. However, don't think there's any money to be made on Robin's Dental Diet, LOL. Think we should just skip that one. Ewwweeee for the thought "...and who knows where those fingers have been!!" Will not be able to avoid that ringing in my head next time I'm drawn to samples. Whole Foods always has a stern sign saying use the tongs, but, of course, who knows who follows directions.

angelmomma210 - Waving. Continuing to send positive thoughts to your DH. Hope his situation is moving forward.

Tera (twilit tera) - Big Kudos for "not turning to food under the stress of my exams/essays." It's a big deal to encounter stress and not seek the faux relief that comes from food. LOL at using your TV for video games only - that's the proper use of a TV.

Readers -

Okay...bad news...dh was fired from ssa on friday. He is on 30 days admin leave. He has that time to appeal this decison. He will be doing that and hopefully more. I just cannot believe that people are like this. They had their minds made up when the began...I really believe that. The union is very upset and they are looking at different things. Please keep us in mind. I just want to cry over this but can't seem to.

You all are the first that I have talked to about this. My dh is a wonderful loving, compassionate and kind person. I know that quite a few people will be upset at this at his work. I am sorry to write this but I don't know what to do except to turn it over to the Lord. I just can't believe that this is happening. He did nothing to this gal and yet I really beilieve that she had it in for him. I hope that the union will be able to do something...it should go to an arbatratior. Hopefully he will be a third party and be able to see through this. Thanks for letter me vent. I appreciate all of you.

Afternoon

Its a gorgeous day in the neighbourhood!! I can hear the bluejays out there while I type. I am doggie sitting this weekend. She is a beautiful almost pure white golden retriever, she is absolutely beautiful! (and napping at the moment) So this has been my exercise, she needs to be walked and we do. Unfortunately she has a bit of the poops due to some medication she is taking. I try to get her to poop in my yard first........its very difficult picking up that stuff

Food isnt bad, I had a bit of wine last night. One the plus side they didnt have my favourite brand, so I opted for something else. Of course it isnt nearly as good, and I only had one glass. Strange way to curb the wine intake.....but hey, it worked

I took a drive out to a restaurant/bar place where we are suppose to be planning a mixer for one of my networking groups. But I am NOT liking the way its going and I really dont want our business name associated with the event, so Im going to pull out of it. One more job crossed off my list for my day off

Still havent decided on a tv.......I'll check the flyers tomorrow and see what's on sale.

Bill~ you know something......my daughter about 2 yrs ago made the same observation. But she did it all on her own. I got one of those discreet elbows in the ribs, and some finger pointing at a woman testing something, and she said "Mom, she looks like she hasnt washed in days!!! I wouldnt eat that stuff now!!" Gotta love kids!!

Why is the broccoli so good at those places? Have you tried the kraft sesame ginger dressing? It is amazing on broccoli.....I picked it all out of the stir fry the other night, then helped hubby eat his Very good stuff!! I left most of the rice on my plate because I filled up on broccoli (whoda thunk it?!)

angel~ I dont know what ssa is, but I hope he has some recourse thru the gov't for wrongful termination or that the union is strong enough to protect him. Usually when someone is protected by the union it is very difficult to get rid of someone.

tera~ you are doing awesome!!! OP all the way around feels good doesnt it!?!!

Im off to go putts around in the yard.......have a wonderful saturday afternoon everyone!

yesterday
OP Supplements
Spontaneous exercise 30 minutes on campus

I was OP foodwise, except that an early dinner made me really hungry right before bed. I ended up having a chocolate soymilk.

A's on my midterm and lab practical for biology

Today
OP Food
OP Supplements

I've been pretty tired and unmotivated today and about 8pm noticed some mild depression. I wanted comfort food badly, but being at Mom's house I found a great alternative - hot mint tea in the garden tub with the spa jets on. Felt much better afterward.

angelmomma210: big I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby at work.

Bill: re: faux relief in food - as I keep trying to tell my aunt, there are so many other ways to deal with my problems than eating. Nothing beats trying to set a good example as an incentive to do right.

Diet Coaches - All the masonry work is now done: driveway, sidewalk, and patio. Had lunch on the new patio in the October mild sunlight, kinda savoring the joy of eating really good leftovers after spending a bundle on contractors. DW views the scene and pictures how her garden can be reconstructed. I view the scene and picture the run-off water of the late fall monsoons rushing to the street instead of seeping into my basement.

DW made the best 15-bean soup for dinner, just following the recipe on the package. I only ate one bowl; CREDIT moi. There's leftovers for about five more servings. You get a lot of soup from a one pound bag of beans.

Robin (RobinW) - What a Mister Roberts day in your neighborhood! Kudos for being on plan with the wine; LOL at off-label wine for diet support. Re: "Have you tried the kraft sesame ginger dressing? It is amazing on broccoli." Putting that on my list to try.

angelmomma210 - Ouch for the bad news about DH's job. Continuing to send best supportive thoughts for you both. Hope that you continue to stay on plan to give yourself the strongest frame of mind to face this.

Tera (twilit tera) - Terrific Cognitive Behavior Therapy there with the "hot mint tea" to lift the mood. Congrats on the A's on your midterm and lab practical. What do you plan to do with your degree when you complete your studies?

Readers -

Thank you all. I don't know what to think. He will appeal this and we hope that the arbatratior for social security is a fair one. We will pray and see.

Good Morning

Things are going well over here in my little corner of the world. I went out to the restaurant where our mixer is most likely going to be held. I thought Id go and have a look before I pulled out. What one member of our group suggested (take the cheap free way) isnt going to work. Its just not big enough. So I'll see what happens after the tuesday morning meeting before I make any final decisions.

Bill~ isnt it funny how men and women see the same thing, but in completely different aspects That dressing is "toasted" sesame....I checked a minute ago.

Tera~ ooooooooooo hot mint tea and a jacuzzi!! Sounds so nice!! Im glad it pulled you out of your dark hole.

I think we are heading to the home decorators show today, and then to an outdoor art market. Its another gorgeous day out there!! Have a great day everyone!!

Well, the scale surprised me today with a 1lb increase. This is my first real frustration since starting the Beck Solution, and I wish I had my book right now - I left it at home this weekend.

At first I was really bummed out, because it wasn't as if I hadn't gotten as much exercise as I could under the circumstances. I hadn't made any serious mistakes foodwise and had been taking all my supplements. If I had messed up, I'd be able to point at that and say "see? let's not do that again," but I can't.

Mom said she thinks it could be water and I'll probably lose more than average next week, which is a nice thought, but about an hour after that I caught this sabotaging thought: "This is what I get after all that suffering! What's the point?"

Suffering? Where did that word come from? I was a little depressed last night, but had I really suffered so much in my efforts to lose weight? This is where I'm really glad i started keeping a journal, my Diet Diary (not because I'm on a "diet" but because I like aliteration). Everything I eat goes in it, and also a little face to indicate what mood I was in when I ate it.

So I reviewed my week and looked for all that misery. What I found was that, apart from last night, my mood ranged from mild boredom to extreme elation. As for the few hours that I actually was unhappy - the cause for it wasn't my weightloss program. Trying to take weight off this week hadn't been a source of misery to me at all!

Okay, so I wasn't satisfied with the number on the scale... well, I already know that a lot of factors effect that number and what happens any single week is not a cause for concern, but rather what the overall direction of my condition is, which since mid August has been on the whole quite an improvement.

Bill: Going back to the thought of the proper use of a TV, it occured to me this morning as we were watching Terminator on fox.com that we use the TV for videogames and our computers for watching programs.

I'm in The EC-4 teacher's associates program at my local Community College. I want to transfer to the 4-year program at University of North Texas and either become an early grade school teacher or get involved in Parent education, a field I think is far too neglected.

Congrats on your new patio, by the way! When's the barbecue?

Robin: Thanks for the It sounds like you understand depression, describing it as my dark hole - that's what it always felt like, a pit that I had all to myself.

I'm learning to prevent falling into it and now I'm discovering that I can climb out of it before I get too deep. It's still a wonderful feeling to be understood.

angelmomma: BIG

:group hug: Take care, all.

Good evening coaches.

I am so glad it's Sunday and the markets are done. All I want to do is lie down and rest. I think I am on the verge of getting sick. So achey all in my core. I felt awful most of the day, had some shivers last night, slept from 9pm to 5:30am when I had to get up and get ready for the market today. Spent the day off and on feeling like I am getting sick and now, home and after having dinner, I know I am not doing so well. I am afraid I have to go off plan to get better as fruit is not in my day today and I am craving orange juice and will just let myself have it. When not feeling well I almost always just listen to my body and follow it until I am well again. Is this right? I never know. It's just what I do and I don't worry about it much. Having been so tired for so long now it's no wonder I may get sick. My body wants rest and cause I am not cooperating it's going to make me stop. Maybe if I cooperate and rest up I'll circumvent this bug. Cross your fingers.

twilit tera Don't let that scale get you! You know I went up and was unhappy about it. Dumb scales. What do they know? Nothin'! YOU know what you've done and how OP you've been. Who knows why the scale isn't showing it. It doesn't matter though.... Keep going forward as you are. You'll get there if you don't stop. You're doing great!

RobinW Hope you had a good day out today. We had great weather all weekend too. It was very nice to have that this time of year.

angelmomma210 I was saddened to read your news about you DH. How difficult for you both this must be I hope you can get some satisfaction through the arbitrator and that you can somehow not stress yourselves too too much over all this. It's very tiring to live that way. I wish you both peace of mind amidst this turmoil.

BillBlueEyes Methinks you see the runoff from the rainy weather to come as a beautiful thing because you are probably the one to have to deal with the flooded basement when it happens. Your life has become measurably better. I hereby offer you an irrepressibly cheerful dancing carrot for your efforts!

onebyone

You know, when I saw that scale, and reflected on the mood it put me in, I immediately thought of you! I knew you'd say just the right thing to improve my attitude!

After writing that post, I found a place that provides free weight line charts (which I've now embedded in my blog) and made one for myself. It was an eye opener and really improved my mood.

As it turns out, I also gained exactly 4 weeks ago! I didn't think as much of it because it was less than a pound that time, and I'd completely forgotten about it since. It appears that I still have a menstrual cycle! (This is something I haven't had to think about for a few years.)

Thank you so much for being the cherry on my sundae tonight. I hope you feel better in a hurry.

Diet Coaches - Wandered through a neat Octoberfest event with about six bands, big crowds, food vendors, clothing, art - the standard some of everything. Had an odd experience. A booth was giving out FREE food - possibly a bean dish. Looked good and I was drawn to it even though I wasn't hungry. Then I noticed that it was asking for donations for the FREE food. Then my head began to spin. I wanted the FREE food, but it wasn't FREE if I made a donation. Then I observed that it was a good cause, so it would be OK to make a donation, so the food would become FREE again. Finally, my head kicked in and I used the old Not for Me, and walked on. CREDIT moi. My only regret is that I didn't toss in the donation anyway. But then, I guess, I'd feel so smug I'd probably just burst, LOL.

onebyone - Yep, taking care of your body is first priority - orange juice when the body needs orange juice. Be healthy; your schedule doesn't have time for you to be sick, LOL. And thanks for the "irrepressibly cheerful dancing carrot." It amazes me that I don't tire of that little guy.

Robin (RobinW) - Yep, it's Venus and Mars around here, LOL. Glad your corner of the world is going well.

angelmomma210 - Keeping you in my thoughts. Tough stuff to be going through.

Tera (twilit tera) - What an amazing Sabotaging Thought, "What's the point?" Big Kudos for spotting that immediately and working it out. Just Googled University of North Texas - that's a BIG school; you should certainly be able to find anything you want there. It always makes me happy that someone is going into education since it's so critical and our systems are strugling.

Readers -

Good Morning!

Happy Thanksgiving Onebyone!! and to all the other Canadians lurking!!

onebyone~ yes sometimes our bodies force us to take the break we keep putting off. Get lots of rest, get the vit c in you that your body wants and get better quick!!

tera~ yes I understand the black holes. I get in them, and hate myself, everyone around me and the world. Thankfully it only lasts a day or 2. I can manage to claw my way out....but its take practise. Its a rare occurance now, Im very thankful for that too. Kudos for looking back on your journal and seeing how you really felt for the week Great job!

Bill~ lol @ feeling smug. But you still did good!!!

Well, its columbus day (thanksgiving is still in my blood) but we are not heading to my parents. Instead we will have chicken for supper This has probably been one of the tougher holidays for me to get used to. Because today is thanksgiving.........has been for 40+ yrs for me. Switching it to november just doesnt feel right. It kinda feels like I miss it, even tho I attend both. Im probably not explaining it right.... its just a bit weird for me.

We went to the outdoor market yesterday, but it was actually an indoor market. It wasnt buzzing with people, but Im still considering being a vendor for november and december. I need to think on it a bit. It is in a beautiful location, just needs some advertising.

Im off............have a great day everyone!

Well I am back into my regular carb cycling program again, except now I am on week 10. Glad to see week 9 go away. I had 5 strict carb days in arow last week. Tough. But I managed. I missed my daily fruit very much after having it in my 2 maintenance weeks, and missed the looser carb day in the middle of the week. On Saturday, my free-for-all carb day, I ate like "the old days" wanting this, then that, and what about this? and oh, haven't had that in a while... sigh. Then I rolled out of bed at 5:30am to get myself to the farmer's market and I felt like I had the flu. I felt like I was getting sick on Saturday too, but yesterday I was worse. So I tried to stay on track but by Sunday night I felt really bad and craving orange juice DH went out and got me some and I drank the whole container. I cannot afford to get sick! I have work to do every day until the end of the month... I am sure my body wants to stop already. I know I want to stop but with full time school, a part time job at the school, and working for myself over the weekends there is no time. I just steal time every day to chill. It's crazy like this for two more weeks and then the markets end so it'll ease up. I am planning OP today so far, missing my fruit, and starting to get my water in and extra water too. The good thing is I woke up feeling okay. I'm not sick afterall, so my home remedy of orange juice worked. I just need to take it slow today.

I did want to say that the jeans I am wearing were falling down my hips yesterday at the market. I had to keep hiking them up! They are the same size, 20's, as the ones I was wearing when I started this WOE in August but this particular pair always fit smaller. Now they are loose. Hopefully the size 20's will be in my past soon. So even if the scale stays right where it's at today, 254 for another week, I know my jeans aren't as tight as they used to be. It may be time to try those 16's on again and that black shirt with the tight arms (my upper arms are huge. I wear a 26 shirt not for the body, that's all small, but to get my upper arms into stuff. *sigh* will be glad to fit into smaller size shirts someday. Hope it's sooner rather than later.

See? Trying to stay positive.

And to my American friends: Happy Columbus Day and to my fellow Canadians: Happy Thanksgiving Monday! Oh and we up here in Canada vote tomorrow. I am still undecided.. ugh. Bet there are lots of us undecided... here and there in the states. What a year eh?

BillBlueEyes Oktoberfest says BEER to me in big letters and in bigger steins! Kudos for passing up the "free" beans dish. It was quite the quandry you had. Excellent description of an emotional/ethical dilemma I would have never had myself. Thank you for that. And I am glad you could pull not for me out to use in this situation... kudos.

twilit tera Glad I could help. Beck addresses this whole thing in her chapters on getting ready for the scale and then in dealing with disappointment. I can't tell you how mnay times that dumb scale has sent me into a eating binge. It's not the really the number but that it can support my own negative outlook on whether I can/am/could lose any weight now/ever/have ever/will ever keep it off...why bother is next after all that. Oh and this si too hard. Phooey. The key to weightloss is pick a plan and stick to it. Be not swayed. Adjust if necessary but this is to be judged over time not in the heat of a bad scale reading. I strive for consistency and for getting back on that wagon and in the driver's seat if I can do it! Today, cause my daily check-in at the scale has me up again, I am hanging onto the FACT that my jeans are big on me. I don't wear my scale, I wear my jeans. So also today, I can support weightloss by following my foodplan and drinking my water, I'd say exercise, maybe a gentle walk out to the water, but really I am resting today. All of that is worth way way more than a number I read for a second when I get up in the morning.

Morning coaches,

Well, I'm back after going AWOL for what seems like a very long time. Dealing with way too many life issues, including travelling to take care of mom with Alzheimers (meeting with doctors, attorneys, dealing with financial challenges). Seems I have had one little life setback after another between dealing with troubling and emotional issues with mom, being sick (nothing serious), distractions with daughter, stress at work aggravated by being out for several days. Hit at a bad time in that the scale started its creep upward and my mind went to "see, I knew it could not last."

Worst of it is, with toting luggage for travel, arm back to worst ever.

Nagging thoughts that I was not taking care of myself or my diet and that yup, I had hit the bottom of my weight trough and it was time to gain it back. Whoa, there is the big sabotage...it is NOT OK to gain it back.

I have forgotten how to take credit and keep making small steps. I knew to do this, but could not make myself as the brain was focused on all the things I was not doing. Should have been giving credit for what I was doing. So, I have to go overboard a few days giving myself credit to get back into the positive habit.

Have not weighed or posted weight for over a week. Looks like I am up a real 1.5-2 pounds (up 3 pounds from lowest weight ever so some of it is real). Oh Well. I know I know how to deal with the scale...just have to do it. If I am OP, the scale will follow.

Also have not been recording food. This is anxiety producing as I know I always gain when I don't record. I have however, been trying to make better choices with variable success. Most days totally good choices with the exception of more alcohol than I should have (two glasses of wine a day instead of one). Did succeed at only eating when hungry and never ate to overfull. Both of those are Beck learned behaviors, but they weren't that hard to accomplish. So, it is hard for me to give credit.

Fell off of my exercise routine for the past week. But I have to go back before I lose the progress with my leg strength. Ok, onebyone, I am needing one of those...and maybe not so gentle this time.

Got Beck out on the plane home yesterday and reviewed 4 or 5 chapters. Credit MOI for both having it and for reading it. Woman next to me was intrigued with it and asked about it. Wanted it for her sister.

I have a lot to read to catch up with all of your news, but will try to post a few personals as I miss your daily encouragement.

BBE-Credit for walking by the not-so-free food. Your "that's not about me" line is one of my extracted Beckisms written on the back inside cover of my Beck book. Yup, read it yesterday and thought of you. Excited that your outdoor landscaping is completed. Methinks having an outdoor retreat is a big mood lifter.

twilit tera-kudos for putting the scale in its place. Take credit for not letting a disappointing number stop you from continuing OP. Think of that as a different form of scale victory. It is victory over the scale...no matter what the reading. Must admit I had a bit of a sense of panic when scale stopped going down after weeks of losing. Methinks using the scale as a tool is a Beck principle that takes a while to ingrain.

onebyone-Sending you some restful vibes that you will be better quickly. Methinks you are right that when you are overdoing it to meet a deadline the body almost immediately afterwards does a forced shut down. Forced rest is a painful reminder of needing to take care of ourselves.

RobinW-Happy to hear things in your world are going well. Hmm, thinking about the Robin's Curb Your Wine Strategy...buy what I don't like that well. It might meet the requirement for a daily glass while assisting in curbing to one glass. Now, can I find something I don't like? Hmmm. Kraft sesame ginger sounds yummy.

angelmomma210-Sending you and DH added strength for the days and weeks ahead. Hoping that you are still in contact with your diet coach and can keep posting.

kuhljeanie- From a quick skim read, sounds like the BistroMD is working well for you. that el nino is back to normal. A belated Happy Anniversary!

Off to the grind...A true Monday of trying to get things under control at work and getting good health habits back in place.

Happy Monday all!