Hi LAdies:
This weekend will be action packed again (June always is)
Tonight we have a rock concert at the Garden State Arts Center
tommorrw we're going to PA for my Sis' birthday sunday fathers day lunch
sunday night pass out!
Now I have the exciting task of editing groceries!
Leenie does it hurt when they're filling you?

Hey KO,

Who are you seeing tomorrow at the art center? Sounds like a fun weekend.

IMHO the needle doesn't hurt its when they are pushing your tummy and feeling for the port that makes me sore. It goes away fast, but makes you feel tender ya know. Doc's can numb you but I always pass on that stuff because it doesn't hurt that much for me to want it. Are you going for the band or bypass? sorry...brain fart.

I'm going for the bypass actually I'm just curious I'm one of those people that needs to know things I'm a discovery family of channels Addict
I'm seeing Nine Inch Nails tonight

Good Morning,

Any plans for the weekend ladies?? Nothing for me planned except to get DH something for Fathers Day and tomorrow we will be visiting FIL and my dad's grave, but thats it. I promised DD I would have cake for her prek graduation today, so I'll let her pick out a fancy cupcake at the grocery store today. You know what a full cake in my house will do and where it will go so I can't have that especially now after my fill. To tempting.

How about you ?


KO 9" Nails.... I am old.... can't tell you one song of theirs but I know they've been around for a long time. ENJOY

HI Ladiess
Leenie have fun at the preK graduation I bet your DD is so excited!
The concert was great I'm hurting today from all the dancing and luckily we weren't the dorkiest people there!
I'm weening myself off crap food! I bought DH frozen Pizzas b/c he doesn't cook for himself
and i got some healthier choices for breakfast light and fit smoothies some kashi crunch and fruit in fruit juice I know its sugar but its not crappy sugar and its portable
I'm going to make a quiche with a crust made of FF Refried beans and use southwestern egg beaters and some "ranchero" frozen Veggies
i figured that would be some good protien to try out
hopefully if DH's headache goes away we're going up to see my sister today
gotta run
Kier

I've been working like a maniac and have booked myself an ridiculously busy month in anticipation of my surgery. I want to feel very much at peace with taking time off and to work in my home office for a bit. I'm also still struggling with the food thing since I've decided to stop any further weight loss efforts pre-surgery. That's hard. Really hard. I haven't found a point of balance yet, that's for sure.

Good Morning,

Hubs I forgot (brain fart) when is your surgery date?

Nothing much going on today FIL's and cemetary, cleaning, etc. Just enjoying the HOT HOT day oy!

Hope you all are having a great day.

July 17.

Woke up this morning and realized that acknowledging I'm scared, like freaking scared isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean I'm feeding into a negative outcome, just to admit that out loud. So that's my Sunday revelation. Its ok to say it out loud.

oh my, yes, hubs! admitting what's going on is the ONLY way to deal with it. honest! it's a hard, hard lesson for us to learn. in fact, if ya'll will allow me a sweeping generalization, it's the single hardest lesson that we have to learn.

after all, if we'd been able to admit what we felt, instead of eating the emotion, there's a good chance that we wouldn't have needed surgery in the first place!

the longer i walk this path, the more stunned i am that it's not really about the food. it's about what i'm feeling and why the first reaction is to eat something instead of dealing with it.

it's a major change. and it's led me into some odd situations [like being angry, and instead of eating, having a 45 minute rant under my breath!] or crying on the way to work because the alzheimer's mom is going down the tubes quickly and there's nothing i can do to stop it. in the past, i would have stopped for bagels, doughnuts, snacks. whatever, to deal with this. and now, i simply cry.

Very insightful post as usual Jiffy. I think I've always had the 'belief' that I had to hold my thoughts in check. That just 'thinking' something could materialize it. Sometimes that's true. But sometimes that gives my 'thoughts' WAY too much power, kwim? I mean, I believe that thought, belief, intention IS extremely potent. But life is larger than just my intention. The synergy is far beyond just 'me'.

So, that means that I've often suppressed my feelings so they wouldn't form 'thoughts' I wasn't comfortable with. But... they always come out sideways anyway don't they? You see, when I had my cancer first diagnosed, and then shortly thereafter the pituitary tumour I became acutely aware of how my thoughts were impacting my health. Its complicated. I did a lot of work with guided imagery and allowing myself to 'see' how my thoughts were contributing to my illness. Since I had opted for no surgery on the pituitary tumour, and was determined to find an alternative course of treatment I began to hold my thoughts and intentions quite under scrutiny.

So what does this have to do with food for me? I suspect it has to do with mindless eating. Like the only way I COULD eat without guilt, without emotional agony was to just do it. Feast or famine. Wow. I just surprised myself with a fundamental truth! My God. The feast or famine part. THAT is such a huge truth!!!

I better go think about this...

I love who you are Jiffy.

Hugs to both you hubs and jiffy. Your words are really ringing true for me this morning. Why the **** do I always reach for something to put in my mouth to comfort me? My brain knows I need a new way to deal with all the crap in daily life, but there is a brainless part of me that won't let go of my bad habits.

Letting myself feel the fear and deal with it instead of numbing myself with food or for god sakes, shopping lately, is the only way I'm ever going to change.

I love reading science fiction. One of my favorite books was Dune. There was a good saying in it, it may be kind of cheesy, but it goes:

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

All of this is so true. I realize that this is the one topic that scares me the most. I hold all of my emotions in until I pop. Which I know is not good. So you ladies are right because if I knew how to deal with my emotions then maybe I would not turn to food everytime I get stressed, depressed, or bored.

This also reminds me of a book that I have not been able to get myself to read. Probably because I feel it is all about me. The book is called "Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the battle in Your Mind" by Joyce Meyer. I know I have issuses that need to be dealt with in order to go any further in this journey.

Thanks ladies for the insight and help.

I am on the phase of my eating plan for the year of 4 oz. per meal. Still 71-85 gr. protein daily. Here is my dilemma--I am no longer losing at a steady rate and think it has something to do with the eating. This phase allows some snacks--popcorn, rice cakes, lf/sf pudding, fruit. I seem to be more hungry than normal. I have discovered that the mini rice cakes (ranch, apple-cinnamon, nacho cheese, etc.) are really good & take away the yearning to crunch something! & now I have a tendency to crave those.

I know I read someone here (I think Jiffy or Hubs) post what the portion & daily gram amounts should be for carbs but couldn't find it. Another question--are the carbs in fruits different?

I also know that mentally I need to jar myself back to reality. Having lost nearly 1/2 of what I want to is such a good feeling & the ability to walk & fit into smaller clothes has me content, but I know that I shouldn't be.

A normal day eating for me is:
Breakfast-(7 a.m.)-3 oz. lf/sf yogurt, 1 oz. smashed fruit (melon, banana, peach, etc)
Mid Morning Snack-(10 a.m.) - 15 gr. protein supplement (Nectar lemon ice tea)
Lunch-(11:30 a.m.)-2 oz. FF cottage cheese, 1 oz. sf canned fruit, 3 oz. deli turkey or ham
Mid Afternoon Snack-(1:30 pm.)-20 gr. protein (Nectar Lemon tea), fruit (1/2 c. melon, 1/2 orange, peach, banana, etc)
Dinner-(6 p.m)-3 oz. meat (pork chop, chicken, fish), 1 oz. vegetable or fruit (usually fruit).
Night snack-(8:30 p.m.)-mini rice cakes (1-2 servings) or LF/SF pudding & sometimes SF jello.

ok loodie. i got news for you. it's the fruit! there's no difference between rice cakes and fruit, as far as carbs are concerned. AND the emphasis should be on low-glycemic carbs. not on rice cakes.

not more than 15 grams of carb per meal.

sooo, having said all that, and i'm sorry that i'm not being more tactful here, but i have so many deadlines today -

bottom line: LOSE THE FRUIT and NEVER eat it without protein. USE VEGGIES INSTEAD. and instead of the rice cakes/pudding/jello, have a SMALL serving of fruit with some protein - [fruit and cheese, fruit and cottage cheese, fruit and plain yogurt with a little protein powder - yogurt and cottage cheese have carbs as well and THEY ALL COUNT!]

Yup. The fruit jumped at me too. And if you do eat fruit ONLY something like berries. And I wouldn't mash any of it. Take the time to chew chew chew. It will give you a better sense of fullness and stay with you longer than puree, whenever you can. And one more thing... veggies don't mean things like peas, corn, sweet potatoes and anything loaded with carbs.

You're also better off eating a really good quality multigrain bread toasted, in moderation than rice cakes. If you put some cheese on that, or nut butter, or smoked salmon... you'll feel very much more satisfied. You can also opt for a good, multigrain cracker too.

Puddings and jello are a disaster even if sweetened with aspartame and for GOD's sake stay away from that! Did you know there was a very large study of nurses who used only aspartame and no sugar in one group, and only sugar in the second group. Guess which group gained weight. Here's a hint. It wasn't the group that used only sugar.