Thanks for the update 💓

Friday at 157.3. It's humid outside. It's been a long week. I still have some meetings to get through. It's quarter to six. I need to get to the gym. It's not the weekend yet.

Looks like I'll be working in the pouring rain all day long. Soaked to the skin after the first walk but didn't have the right gear. Am head to toe Gortex now.

I appreciate these cold rainy summers are better for the dogs but I hate them.

Dagmar

From what i understand, that "menopausal pudge" is due to shifting hormones, that lovely hourglass that estrogen gave us is now shifting around. Me thinks that our senior years should bring us FAR MORE perks than we are getting, given all that we've live through, sacrificed, put in our time! Golden Years... INDEED!

Saturday morning at 156.7, waking to darkness and a strong soaking rain. I feel hungover from the onslaught of work and worries that came through on Friday, even though I didn't have a drink. I am daunted by the week to come. My deferred legal deposition happens on Monday, with the opposing attorney questioning me about my accident. I have to present on a new project to upper mgt. And I'm on a live video panel on Thursday.

The weekend will just evaporate, when I want to slow down and savor it. Three episodes of "Twin Peaks" last night has made the world look weird to me.

The sand in my hourglass is definitely shifting down.

Dagmar

Sunday morning, up to 157.

Alternating between dread of the deposition, leading to existential despair ("Why is everything so hard?") and telling myself it's like any other interrogatory session -- like an oral exam or a job interview, the latter of which I've done before from both sides of the table.

Sunday is always partly spoiled by Monday.

"Sunday is always spoiled by Monday." Indeed. Except for those rare holiday Mondays, of which tomorrow is not one. But, I think you'll find the deposition much easier, and more pleasant, than you expect. I've done 4 or 5 of them over the years because I am a physician, and I get called to testify in a variety of patient situations. The lawyers have always been gentle because there's no jury to grandstand to; just you, the lawyers for each side, and a court stenographer.

Dagmar, what makes you think the whole summer will be cold and rainy? If your weather is anything like ours (and I live only 4 hours' drive from Toronto), every few days brings a new front, switching regularly between hot/humid/sunny (like we had all of last week) to cool/rainy and back again, with a day or two of hot/humid/rainy thrown in ever couple of weeks for good measure.

After enjoying nearly 3 months of magical "downward mobility" in the weight loss department, getting me within a single pound of goal weight, I have reversed course and gone up 2 pounds for no apparent reason other than, perhaps, the end of the weekly Vit. D megadoses that I was prescribed. I can vouch for the fact that my day-to-day intake has not changed at all, since I'm still measuring most of my food and recording it daily on MyFitnessPal. No binging, no evening snacking. Exercise is also steady at 4x/week for about an hour (sometimes cardio, often weight training, once weekly "power yoga"). I can remember spending several years here in the past, between 126 and 129 (128 this morning), never quite attaining the 123-126 that was my compromise goal weight after concluding that 120 was simply unsustainable. For the 80,000th time, I want a way to directly "query" my body; to ask it WTF, and understand the sudden gains and losses that seem to stick beyond all logic and reason.

Monday morning, up to 158.5.

It's deposition day and also a difficult week at work. In my experience, the prospect of something difficult completely distorts my view of the world and I will be a much more optimistic person once I walk out of that law office.

Tuesday morning, upward, to 158.9.

Completing the deposition changed my outlook on life, as I thought it would.

The sweat that practically stuck me to the faux leather upholstery of a partner's chair in the law office did not cause me to lose any weight. I was questioned for an hour and fifteen minutes, which my attorney said was good. "You did very well," she told me. I went home before noon but my head was still full of questions and answers and I had a difficult time settling down.

I made myself focus and reworked a presentation based on very detailed notes and queries sent by the Frenchwoman. This was on a deadline for a presentation that I thought I'd deliver today -- only for me to wake up to an email deferring the presentation for another week.

Wednesday, still at 158.9, and this reflects my level of stress this week.

I had seven meetings yesterday. I've got five today, including an hour-long job interview with two people: the Frenchwoman, who'd be my manager, and the Scotsman who heads up that department. I have meetings from 11:30 - 2 PM, through the entire lunch block.

I don't know what happened. It's as though everyone in my company woke up and realize that June was ending, that July 4th and the season of vacation days was approaching, and they needed one long sustained burst of hyperactivity before that milestone.

Hi guys. I'm around, back to not posting much. My MIL is pretty much unchanged. I talked to her a few minutes ago, and the chest pain apparently came back hard yesterday evening and overnight, and spread to both sides. She just hadn't been telling us. She was already calling the doctor this morning because she had some fever yesterday, so a little worried that if it really is pleurisy that she may also have an infection or pneumonia along with it. The light headed and dizziness hasn't gone away, and pleurisy wouldn't have caused it, so that is still out there. She's hanging in, but it has been a long month.

I overslept this morning, so didn't get my exercise in. Got yoga and headspace. Michele's fitbit challenges have helped me pay attention to my steps the last couple of weeks. Exercise has been pretty good for the last three weeks, even with the other mess and sleeping late today. Some chaos in a personal relationship I'm trying to resolve.

Keep on keeping on, I guess.

Sorry to hear your MIL is still not well. Glad the Fitbit challenges are motivating you though... you're giving me a run for my money!

Thursday, at 159. When I seized on Jay's suggestion of "Get back to where you once belonged," I didn't mean I was making it my goal to weigh 257 again.

More pressure today: I was tapped to participate in a panel on an All-Company Research Meeting, and I have to learn a quick script today to be able to speak to the slides someone else has written. This got dumped on me Tuesday. This is one of my five meetings today and the second one I'll present at. The second one is my staff meeting.

The pressure will peak tomorrow when I present a project plan for a new product refresh in an hour-long morning before the whole line of management I'd be reporting to, if I get the new job. From my manager, a Sr. Director, to her manager the MVP to his manager the MVP.

I am longing for the weekend. I want to curl up in a ball somewhere.

I will post so I'm on the same page as you all!

Back from my mum's and full of upper body strength because of the great DIY work done by the DB and me. I'm also back to regular exercise which is so good and is helping my body to run smoothly. Well, not 'run' run but at least walk and go up steps and hills and all that. The weather has changed back to cool and rainy which always suits me, and various pressures are off. A root canal is on but I'm taking control of that to suit me better than previous times.

Food? Yes, and probably too much. Once everything else falls into line (and it's going well at present), I predict food will too.

Pudge? Also yes. I suppose it might be menopausal but I also think it's linked to eating too much. It's not a good look for me, let me tell you. I've stopped looking at myself in mirrors when I'm out and about but that's also linked to being exhausted. I don't need to be reminded how rough I look.

Shannon, I'm sorry your MIL is still on the sick list. Hug that DSS.

saef, too many of those meetings. No wonder you're shattered. Meetings can be so inefficient: I don't know why management don't grasp that - except it's not about efficiency, sometimes, it's about power.