Nightkatt- thank you for your response. i wish i could be like that. still look into the nutrition values, so i know i won't be completely angry at myself later, but when i feel like this, i just flat out don't care. this isn't just a few days that i'm feeling down.

my dad passed away a few months ago, and honestly, i'm not sure i've even begun to deal with it. i've been doing the best that i can for my mom, to take care of her and help her in anyway that i possibly can. i've been trying to keep my mind occupied, and it worked, sometimes. i've had my outbursts and breakdowns over the last few months, but i think it's now it's really catching up to me, and finally sinking in. i don't care about anything anymore. i'm continuing to try and occupy my mind, but it's not working anymore. i've been depressed before, but nothing like this, ever. i can't begin to describe how much this hurts, and how much i miss him. this is torture, and i don't know what to do.

my fiancee and i are having problems-- i just keep getting hurt.

and, i know this doesn't even begin to compare to anything else that i'm going through, and i feel silly even saying this but the other day, we found two baby kittens outside my house, and we took care of them for a couple days, but it wasn't the right time for pets.. we're going to be moving, and i wanted what was best for them to survive and be healthy. we got them to a shelter that will take care of them, and i'm depressed that i had to give them up. they were someone i could take care of, and love and they wouldn't hurt me, and i miss them too, honestly.

my mom and i have a great relationship, but honestly i've never felt so alone in my life. i thought focusing on weight loss would be something to occupy my time, and at the same time accomplish something i've wanted for so long. being the way that i am just makes everything worse, but at the same time, it's hard to care... i just want to curl up in bed with ice cream and be left alone.


i don't know what to do.

i'm sorry to rant, but i don't know what else to do. you're right about keeping things in being worse, but that's all i do. this is the first i've really ranted. i just want to scream, i can't take it anymore.


i do really appreciate your kind words, and that you took the time to respond.

Hi All

I am just checking in to say I am doing ok.. Its almost been a week and Sterling,Co got flooded and there has been a no flush order. All restaurants remain close because they cant use the water/ restroom facilities/etc,,

I am lucky because I live outside the city limits in a community with they have there own well so we are not effected by the order. My son who lives in town has to come over and take showers... THe city have put portable potties through out the city for residents to use...

My normal 10-12 min / 8 mile drive has been extended. With the road close in town at one time I had to drive 106 miles one way just to get to work.
Lucky one highway has open so now my drive is about 40 min....

so my diet is kinda on hold... I work at big prison and we are following the no flush order. Can u imagine 160 portable pottys being hauled in and put through out the prison for inmates and staff to use... ..Big operation...

Anyway I will check back on the weekend ..



Stay safe and keep dieting

Wow.. I'm glad that you guys seen my post looking for buddies.. Ive sooo gotta off track but still been watching what i eat and losts of water.. Ive started work so its so hard to get on here but glad to see other are doing a great job!! Keep up the good work!!

Hey everyone! Just a quick check in....this is the mad season for work for me. Luckily, I've managed to stick with good choices, and my line of work (stage carpentry) gets me lots of good exercise. Hope everyone is doing alright, and especially big hugs to you, lostinstaticx!

Good morning everybody,

i don't have much time to post, just checking in. mom and i are going up to my fiancee's today. hopefully getting some nice outside time. the weather here is absolutely beautiful.

i'm feeling a little bit better emotionally today. at least at the moment, i don't feel like screaming. i got weighed yesterday, just out of curiosity and i was at 324, down another 5.2 pounds. it makes my total loss 6.8 pounds. i guess that makes me care a little bit more than when i wrote my last post.

i'm going to try and stick to plan as close as i can. i know my fiancee suggested we go out to dinner tonight. i'll do as well as i can. i'm not sure where we're going.

i hope you're all doing well, and have a nice weekend.


and, thank you burg