Andrea~don't leave! We're ALL dealing with this!

And on your comment that your metabolism is ruined. I don't know if it is true or not, but my DD, who has lost about 55 pounds has also decided this. Now, granted she is young and unemployed (and currently not enrolled in school) so she has a LOT of free time. She has decided to REALLY up her calories (3000+) and up her protein (don't know exactly how many grams) and is spending copious amounts of time at the gym (but not overdoing it IMO). She has not lost any more weight, but after 6 weeks, she posted a before and after and wow! Her tummy pouch is gone and she seems to be gaining the first part of a six-pack. She decided that a low cal diet wrecked her metabolism and is trying to "fix" it by eating a lot more and dedicating herself to exercise. She lifts, does some cross-fit and runs once a week.

And I just ordered some new shorts. Size 8. Prayed they'd fit because, you know, I'm NOT losing this extra weight. And thankfully they fit! I just got another order where a couple of items I ordered in Large because, well, I didn't think Medium would fit. Sending them back--one for a medium and two for refund as they aren't flattering at all.

So you're NOT alone. DO NOT QUIT.

Andrea, I'm where you are wondering if I should just buy bigger clothes and toss it in. I don't want to though.

Allison - reading about your DD made me remember something. I maintained my weight a lot better when I ate a lot more protein and exercised more consistently. I wonder if I jumped up the protein that would help me.

Andrea, I am a little below goal, now, but I assure you it was not an easy road to get there. I had many ups and downs lost, regained and lost again, plateaued , etc, The one thing I did that got me where I am today is I hung in there, I didn't give up, I persisted even though I wasn't sure if I would ever make it. This is what worked for me .

Andrea You have probably posted this before but could you "remind" me how you arrived at your "ideal' weight? thanks!

Dagmar

Interesting. Last week I put away the scale, and just yesterday had the thought that I should just eat 1400 calories per day, have my 2 splurge meals a month, exercise like I have been doing (all of this feels very sustainable to me) and see where I end up landing. But, grrrrrrr! The idea of buying bigger clothes, of gaining weight, of "giving up"!

I really, truly, honestly wish I'd never started weighing myself as a method of tracking my progress. That dumb scale number messes with me, even when I think it doesn't.

All that to say, Andrea, do whatever is sustainable for you physically and mentally. Find that sweet spot of peace and let me know how to get there.

Do you think anything would work better for you, Jen? I sometimes use a tape measure but I don't get very reliable figures. I sometimes wonder about clothes but that doesn't really work for me either. I don't wear tight clothes and don't try on or buy many clothes at all. Sizing seems to be vary variable - even between different colours. Apparently black bras, for example, are always a bit tighter because they make the bra first and then dye it. And clothes in different colours may be made in different factories, and even different countries.

Andrea, I'm sorry that what has worked for you in the past isn't working now. It must feel like your body is betraying you. Have you considered seeing a holistic pro - for instance, the Downing Clinic? I haven't had any issues that justify seeing them, although my neighbor did and she absolutely raves about what they did for her (shifted nutrient ratios, added a precursor hormone supplement, and found her a neuromuscular therapist to address the source of her headaches). Sometimes the traditional methods just don't work and it could be something very simple that falls outside the mainstream.

Logged faithfully yesterday (1460 cal) and 11335 steps; was rewarded by the "day 1 whoosh" of 2.5#, or back to the territory I've been occupying (maintaining?) for 8 months. Food challenge is that I'm home alone today; physical challenge comes tonight when my running group takes to the track for speedwork.

I guess I got myself back here because the scale number doesn't mess with me enough, Too much "hakuna matata" is not a good thing, either.

Birchie - I don't know what would work for me now, but I know that my clothes were a great indicator when I started losing weight. I started somewhere north of 200 pounds and began just with walking more and trying to eat/snack less and make better food choices when I could. Around 175 pounds I bought a scale and started counting calories and from then on my scale was my guide. That's when I decided what my goal weight would be, and started worrying about BMI and being a "normal" weight.

For the record, my mood is pretty good about all of this right now. I realize tone is hard to tell online, but I don't feel a sense of despair about this. I haven't really made any decisions - just wondering if that path would be mentally healthier for me in the long run.

Andrea: this sounds like sanity, not surrendering. It seems likely that you will equilibrate at an average weight (with the usual fluctuations, of course) a bit higher than your goal, but without the emotional baggage that comes with the constant "MUST lose" mentality. I hope this is a happier approach for your body and mind.

JenMusic: I hate the power the scale has over me, too. This may be wacky, but I just heard about these "weightless" scales - do you know about these? One is called the Quantum Scale. It only reports fluctuations in your weight from your baseline (the first time you step on it), without ever giving an absolute number. I'm not sure if it's really a solution - it still gives a number, but maybe not seeing an actual weight removes some of the excess emotional reaction. I think they may be expensive though.

I used to weigh myself in kilograms (and I know others do too). I haven't made the mental switch to metric units (younger British people have) so it had the "quantum effect" for me.

Andrea - I can so feel the pain that you are in right through the screen and it brought tears to my eyes. So first I just want to give you some virtual hugs. Like Dagmar, I am wondering how you determined 118 as your "ideal weight"? I think that giving yourself a break is a great idea. As we all know, no decision is final. So to have a bit of a splurge and then start eating a little more is a great idea for now. Who knows what next week holds, but it sounds like the stress of trying to force your body to comply might be more effort then it's worth right now.

JenMusic - I hope that you will continue posting about your experience in stepping away from the scale. Every day I tell myself that the scale number doesn't matter. And then, like today, I stepped on it and was POSITIVE I would be down and it read 121.7 and I just felt DEVASTATED.

The Harris-Benedict equation tells me that for the amount I'm exercising I should be able to eat 2100-2200 calories per day to maintain. I am eating 1700-1800 and not losing. It is tremendously discouraging.

Jen

I never lose on 1700-1800 even when I exercise, and I get similar Harris-Bendict numbers to you when I'm working out regularly. I've decided exercise does nothing to help me lose, only to change my shape some.

Well crap, Shannon, that's not what I wanted to hear!!

Weight is still up today, despite good eating and exercising. Guess my denial is going to have to go away!!!

Jen

As if peanut butter in a jar is not treacherous enough I discovered Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cups ice cream. What a dirty trick !! B & J know that no peanut butter lover can resist this. Of course I fell face first into it and the scale recorded my addiction. Tonight I have a birthday party to attend. My son is the host and he has a grill that does everything but set the table. I expect the menu to feature items that are grilled, smoked and or rotisseried . Have mercy !

While not B&J's, DH and I shared a bowl of PB cup ice cream the other night. DS has ice cream (right in FRONT of us) at least five times a week. We had had a rather light dinner and I guess DH and I felt the need for something sweet, so we shared a small bowl. Delicious! I don't feel bad about it myself as this is the first time I've eaten ice cream in months! It's one of those things that I can keep in the house and ignore. Not so with cheese. Or crackers. But I am reigning in my need to snack on them every day! And when I do, I can limit myself to just four crackers with cheese.