My mother is a woman of simple tastes, who has somehow raised a daughter with tastes that are anything but simple.

Sometimes we are incomprehensible to each other because we are such different people.

saef~DH and I recently stopped at a McDonald's and picked up an egg mcmuffin after having had my own rendition many times over the past few months. YUCK is all we could say. Granted it is still one of their healthiest choices, but when I make mine, I use egg whites about 80% of the time and the Orowheat 100% whole wheat muffin is far superior to those Micky Dee's uses. I get my Canadian bacon from Trader Joes where it is only 20 calories a slice.

so sorry to hear you're feeling bad for yourself fitmom.

To everyone, have a wonderful Wednesday!

Saef-- I agree-- yuck about the Egg McMuffin but you made me remember that I had a dream last night-- I was in a line at McDonalds and had to order food. I was panicking because I couldn't figure out my healthiest choice and I didn't know what to do. I wonder what other weird dreams I have nightly that I don't remember...

My dd collected Breyer horses and she has been a horse fiend forever-- riding since she was 6-- though she hasn't ridden lately. Her 21st birthday is in a few months and we are planning on giving her 21 gifts-- one that has significance for each of her years-- so one year will be a Breyer horse. I've only bought 4 or 5 of the gifts so far so I better get cracking.

Fitmom-- hugs to you. Are you considering seeing a doctor or therapist for the depression? It might be wise. When my dd was diagnosed as depressed, depression was explained to us as situational (something brings it on-- sounds like your case), or ongoing. Since my dd's was situational, she took meds for awhile but is no longer on them. My younger dd has depression more ongoing and stays on a small dose of meds which help her greatly.

Dewey keeps waking up at 4:45. I'm about to kill him. He wants to play with the cats, go outside and eat. Then he wants to go back to bed but I won't let him-- if he gets me up-- he is staying up. I'm hoping to find time for a big walk today to tire him out. But it is the first night of the high holy days so we'll be at temple tonight (dd is singing in the choir),and I have to work and fit the gym in so a walk may be tricky---plus we're supposed to have one more day of excessive heat.

Fitmom, I've also been focusing on my body as one thing that I can control in a world that feels like it's buffeting me every which way. But I have a history of doing this. Once, I did it through eating disorders. Now I do it by caring a bit too much about exercise. I have to watch myself because of my tendency to overdo it.

When I get like this, I think of how men doing prison time often work out obsessively as one way of passing the time. I was reading an autobiography the French novelist, Colette, called "My Apprenticeship" and she described something similar: When she was trapped in a marriage that made her miserable, and left alone much of the time, she started an obsessive workout routine, rather like gymnastics. (This was back in the 1890s, and at the time, that was a curious thing for a woman to do.)

I think if you can exert control over other things in your life, aside from your body, you may also get some kind of psychological relief. I don't know what those things might be. I've been seeking out meditation and the company of friends. I also don't want to be with people -- they will want to talk about the things that hurt me -- but that talk is usually brief, only for a while, and then we're immersed in whatever experience we're sharing, and we're okay again. I need to be around people to get out of my own head & obsessive concerns. Anything that widens my world rather than narrowing it is good, during these times.

Better an Egg McMuffin than a bottle of scotch - my mother's usual birthday request. Not such a good gift for an alcoholic

Off to dogsit - no computer access so I won't be chiming in here until Saturday.

Dagmar

Michele, I ought to send you a Breyer horse, as I've got so many boxed up here. PM me if you're interested, though of course I understand,you may actually want a brand new horse in a new box as a gift for your daughter. And I can relate about Dewey waking you up too early. My mother's cat has, in a matter of weeks, become spoiled by my insomnia and now comes around bothering me at 4 AM even if I'm actually sleeping soundly.

Oh, and I won't be traveling downstate tomorrow after all. The dentist believes I'll likely need a root canal and has advised me not to put off doing it. I have an appointment with the specialist tomorrow morning. At least I already had the day off. I don't know if I will cancel my trip entirely or delay it by a few days.

Yeesh. I hope it's not too painful, Saef. A root canal is the last thing you need to deal with right now!

Megan, my dentist said that people tend to require root canal operations during stressful times. It's because many are night-time teeth-grinders, like me, and when their stress levels rise, the grinding worsens and can damage the roots of our teeth, which then become infected and require root canals.

Makes sense, but I'm feeling aggrieved this morning, as if I can't catch a break. Otherwise, physically, I am floating a little above the ground, after having taken a big fat Hydrocodone pain pill. This rather bouyant sensation feels so good that I believe I understand why people get lost in prescription addictions. (Cue the violin passages in the Pink Floyd song "Comfortably Numb.")

My mother had an interesting observation last night: "You just go & go & go. There is no fun time. You just never stop."

I feel that way a lot of the time, but wondered if it was me, succumbing to self-pity. Interesting: So it's apparent to an outside observer that I am not getting enough down time?

I always feel like I have no choice, when in reality, I do.

ETA: Oh, and I want to say the smartest thing I did since moving up here was to enroll in a six-week session of unlimited yoga classes at a very serious & sizeable yoga center. It's just two weeks into the session, I've been there seven or eight times already, and now there's no way I'll miss a session if I possibly can. I get so much psychological relief during it & afterward. It's like when I first started therapy, years ago. I am sure this will level off eventually but right now, thank God for my Kripalu yoga classes.

I think this is wonderful. And now I'm going to find that floating about emoticon.

No, that one's good vibes but I send those too.

Ah, this is yoga.

I think I had in mind a combo of the two somehow but that doesn't exist at present. However,

Saef-- hope your tooth feels better. And I'm so glad you found the yoga classes. It is certainly what you need right now.

Question for you maintainers.... do any of you not track if you're at your goal weight? I'm half-heartedly tracking-- really just tracking breakfast, and sometimes lunch-- not really at all on the weekends. I'm thinking as long as my weight is steady and I'm exercising-- it might be okay? I think I did this once before for a few months and my weight started to creep upwards but I can't remember exactly. I just don't want to get lazy and see my weight go up but I'm incredibly busy and stressed and finding it hard to track (though I am still exercising and eating on plan).

Yes, I do track. I write my weight on my calendar every morning. I can see at a glance if their is a trend going upwards. I have found through experience that when I don't plan my meals. and don't count calories. and don't log my weight , guess what my weight creeps up .

Shana tova to those who observe!

I am tracking now because I'm actively working on losing. I expect not to track once I get to my goal weight again. After so many years, I know when I'm eating OK and when I'm overeating, if I am honest with myself.

I do weigh regularly, and if the creep starts again when I'm back at goal, I'll begin tracking again. It's amazing how easy it is to "forget" the principles.

Jay

I tracked everything down to the gram on Livestrong while I was losing. I've been in maintenance since the beginning of the summer and I realized that was driving me slightly bonkers.

I'm still figuring out what to do and trying to remain flexible, but for the moment I'm doing a combo of intuitive eating and keeping a running calorie count in my head (I still measure/weight most foods). I haven't tracked calories on Livestrong in almost a month and my weight is stable.

If I approach my red line or my clothes get tight, I'll start tracking again.

Michele, I don't track portions if I'm at my goal weight. I do still log on the no excuses thread just for record. I find it useful so that I can go back and look and see what I was eating on any given day. The difference is whether the tracking is just saying, "Hey, what did I happen to eat today?" versus logging portions into a calorie database and modifying what I eat based on the numbers that come out.

Saef, I'm glad you have the yoga classes. Sorry about the tooth. I had some set of horses when I was a kid but I don't think they're the ones you linked to. I got them as a present and they came with a little stable. Each horse is about 3 inches tall or so. I used to make corrals for them out of my Lincoln Logs!

Fitmom, I second the others who suggested you may want to consider seeing a doctor or therapist. I have been trying to convince my DH to do the same since he also struggles with depression.

Jay, Shana Tova!

Dog content ahead, feel free to skip...

Last night we had family over for Rosh Hashanah dinner and had an interesting experience with the dogs. We put both of them behind baby gates and tried to leave them there. It was very handy when people were coming to the door because we didn't have to have someone holding Carter on a leash. But when we tried to leave them in there, Carter whined, barked, pawed at the gates, and generally caused a massive fuss the whole time. Eventually his barking drove me nuts enough that I brought him out on his gentle leader. Once he was out, he was very polite to everyone, didn't bark or whine, and just begged to be petted from anyone who approached him. I kept him on his leash for most of dinner because one of the cousins who had her baby with her doesn't like dogs coming anywhere near her kid (funny considering the rest of the family are totally dog people, but hey, she's a relative by marriage, not by blood).

In any case eventually I was able to bring Carter, on his gentle leader, to investigate the other baby who was playing on the floor. (Don't worry, I had 100% control of him, and this baby lives in a house with a great dane who is in his face all the time.) Amazingly, Carter wasn't even interested in sniffing him. The baby was crawling around and Carter couldn't care less. So that was a success IMO. Historically he has been very well behaved around children and it seems to be true for babies too.

Meanwhile, Booboo continues to have inscrutable behavior regarding walks. I checked her all over for injuries but she appears to be fine. The past two days she has been following a pattern where she gets really excited about going and is extremely eager until you get her leash attached, at which point she just gets scared. Today I finished at work at noon and got to go home, so I had time to try to work it out with her. I used training treats (kibble mixed with hot dog chunks so it tastes meaty) to try to coax her to walk with me on the leash. Her behavior was totally bizarre. I could tell she was scared of something because every so often after she'd come forward a few steps, she'd back away again and look nervous. But then it was like she hit some threshold, and all of a sudden went from having to be coaxed with food to go 2 steps to charging off on her own. Okay, so I took her and Carter for a nice long walk with no problems, then when we turned onto our street to come back home she did the same thing. I had the treats in my pocket so I tried coaxing her again but only got her to go a couple steps. So I figured, okay, maybe she is just scared of something on our street? I tried to pick her up to carry her home, but unfortunately she is just a bit too heavy for me (probably about 50lbs). But then the moment I gave up on trying to lift her, she started trotting off toward home.

I am at a loss. I thought maybe she didn't like the concrete since there aren't any sidewalks in her neighborhood, but it's not like she was walking on the grass even when she had the chance. When concrete hurts Carter's feet he will always just walk on the grass instead.

I'm at my sister's in Colorado from Tuesday to next Saturday. Her house is cold so I'm having a motivation problem to do my floor exercises. But I did go outside with her this morning when she walked her dog. I'm afraid to walk her dog because she's very big and I'm not that strong and there's several smaller dogs in the neighborhood that she'll attack if she gets to close to them. She's an Akita that's a Japanese hunting dog used to hunt bears.

The first two nights I was here I had bad altitude sickness. But last night I was fine. Haven't been eating a whole lot since everyone I go to visit makes spicey food which I can't have.

Went to an artist friend's house yesterday and had to bring my own lunch. They only cook with spice and cheese and tomatoes and peppers. All off my list of edibles.

Today, I'm driving down to Denver to see three artist friends and go to a few galleries.

Tomorrow morning I might take my first yoga class with my sister. Then in the afternoon we're going to tour artist studios in Boulder with my cousin.