well, congrats!! that's great to hear, anyway.

JOKE:

“How are overweight people like a bucket of Crawdads? When one tries to get out the others try pull him back in.”

Crawdads are little fresh water lobsters.

We should all know when to cut the wheat from the chaff. Meaning when someone is awkwardly trying to compliment us and honestly not trying to injure us, let us be courteous and gracious.

I think if we all look at the science of what is a healthy weight we'll be able to find rational reasoning. I think I’ll print out this weight chart and whip it out when someone wants to "discuss" my weight. Then we can talk about their weight too.

Choose a Healthy Weight

I get that sometimes from my boyfriend. He and I met about 30 or 40 pounds ago in my weight loss, so he has seen me at my most obsessive, where I weigh what I eat, take my measurements, get depressed if I miss a workout, etc. I think in his case he is just concerned that I will take it too far eventually, though he knows I am not too thin at the moment.

In other cases, however, I really believe that these comments stem from other peoples' insecurities. I have noticed that, when people like my mother who genuinely care for my health see me, they say I look fantastic and I'm doing a great job. When people I know to be insecure about their own weight see me, they usually comment with raised eyebrows about my weight loss.

A third option is that less health conscious people who are used to eating unhealthy foods without a second thought, or being naturally thin without having to exactly portion out meals, may just see our attempts as "extreme," and be concerned about us going overboard.

Speaking of odd compliments, I used to have mid-thigh length hair (cut it to my waist the other year). I got compliments all the time, btu about half of those was people saying, "You have such long hair!" Which isn't really a compliment, it's an observation. I didn't mind, I've been known to say, "You've had a haircut!" to someone instead of, "Your new haircut looks lovely!" I think it's a surprise thing, and I always thank them nicely. So the people who blurt out, "You're thin!" probably mean it as a compliment.

I get that your family are a bloody nightmare in this respect, enough to mess with anyone's head, but this statement of yours worried me. 90-100 is absolutely not the best weight for your height. I'm 4" shorter than you (small-boned but big-bosomed) and those weights would be thin on me. 100lb on someone of 5'3 gives a BMI of 17.5, which is well into the underweight category and at the threshold for anorexia, and 90lb gives 15.8, at which point you would be well into the "serious anorexia" category.

So I'm rather worried. Thankfully you're nowhere near that at the moment, and incidentally at 139lb you're just inside the "healthy" BMI range, but people can be anorexic at any weight and I'm alarmed to see anyone thinking that a BMI that low is something they should be aiming for. Could you talk to us a bit more about this, hon?

Hey...

Thanks for the concern. Mainly, I want to be 90-100 lbs so that I have a "cushion" (no pun intended) for the rest of my life. If I gain a few pounds, I'll have a chance to notice it and regain control before I'm overweight. For instance, if I'm 90 pounds and after Christmas, I'm 95, I could lose the five pounds quite easily. 100 lbs could be the weight that I never go over... (It seems that everyone needs to decide to never be higher than a certain weight...) I knew a girl who weighed 90 lbs at 5'2" and she looked great! I also overheard a girl at a supermarket talking and saying that she was 100 lbs at 5'2" and she also looked great. I'm hoping to look as great at they do at 5'3" and 90 - 100 lbs. In addition to self-assessment, I picked this weight by observing others, etc.

At the moment, I'm a size 4/6 at 139 and I still have very noticeable fat around the stomach area. (I don't know how I am a 4/6 at a such a high weight, but I've tried clothes from several designers and I wear either a 4 or 6). Because of this, I'm thinking that I have quite a bit of weight to lose in order to be healthy. For a while, I thought that I might look healthy around 120, but now I'm thinking that it will not be enough.

However, I am quite happy to be a 4/6 right now. When I started, I was a 14/16! I have finally broken the plateau, but the weight is still slowly coming off. I'm not even losing 2 lbs a week anymore...

Thanks for your advice and support...

As stated previously, you really need to review those weights. I wouldn't base your goal weight on what someone in a store said they weigh - who knows if that was even accurate? A BMI of 15-something is not healthy and not safe. The BMI scales are already low, without building in a 20% lower "cushion".

I have only lost 10lbs so im not ecen close to my GW. It has taken me four weeks to lose that 10lbs because i am doing it healthily.

Well my mother seems to think i am becoming anorexic and keeps telling me"you look good and then saying are you eating? do you want a cookie?"
1. you cant even tell that ive lost weight yet
2. i am flippin eating!
3. no i dont want the dang cookie cuz its not worth the calories!


I think she might have some jealousy towards me though. My mom grew up just like my sister as a bean pole and was able to eat whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. After having three kids she has been on yoyo diiets ever since. I have been chubby and then obese most of my life. (22)

Im also the type of person that analyzes everything psychologically. (thanks to two college psych classes) my mom has failed time and time again at diets. i failed a few times cuz i never really committed fully. I have tried to tell her about 3fc and calorie counting. But she wont listen. She thinks im starving myself and that im not really going to the gym.

But something i do love is that even though she has her own insecurities and her own ideas rolling in her head she is still trying to be supportive.

its only been a month though. maybe soon i can invite her in more and we could even do this together! that would be awesome!

thanks for listening guys.

Rl1

I am your exact height and your CW is my GW. You have to realize that those girls you overheard, have NO muscle! I know that once you start your weight loss journey, you don't want to give up b4 you feel thin enough. I do know that 90lbs at our height would make us look emaciated! You should have your body fat % checked, and then you'll know where to go from there.

Family can be a pain though! Your family is not living healthy at all! It's hard to be healthy around people pushing their unhealthy habits on you!

Congras on you weight loss! I come from a big Italian family and everyone has an opinion! My father recently told me that if I reach my goal weight I will be to skinny and I have 60lbs to loose! My mothet tells me every week I shouldn't loose much more because my face will be to thin and I will look to old! I know they love me and I know that I am doing what is best for me so I don't let it bother me.