Hi everyone, hope your having good days today

Thanks Aunty Jam, the smiley face went down well with the kids yesterday, even though it was a struggle keeping it up.

mom - how you feeling today, has the tiredness gone?

Thanks ems, glad your feeling better

buddly - sorry to hear about your attack last night. I stay with my husband for the kids, its hard and quite a depressing thing to live with, my girls are only 7 and 10 years so i got a long time to go. I think your being really brave going through the marriage counseling and trying to make things work even when your not feeling it.

Im feeling a little bit better today, i still didnt go to work and i havent bothered to get dressed but i dont feel like crying all day like i did yesterday.
My eldest girl has gone out with her friends this afternoon and i am fighting the panic, i know she will be safe but i just think the worst all the time, the docs think this is part of my OCD all worrying about the girls, it really is getting a bit much to deal with.

Thanks buddly

Mofo i get like you do the gym helps with my stress but when things get on top of melike uni it makes me stressed anxious and snappy im not on meds either i have got anxiety tablets but i try not to take them as i dont like being on meds

Glad your feeling abit better marie keep thinking positive hun. Hope your daughter has a nice time im sure she will be fine.

Im not feeling to good today iv felt sick off and on for the last two days not sure if there is a bug going around or what i hope it passes.

Hope your all well xxx

hey ems iv got a cold iv had it since saturday, i think its just something going around, on the plus side its been my cover for not going to work.
my daughter can home on time and happy but i found the hour that she was out awful, i was panicking badly i tried to take my mind of it by playing with the young one but it was always in the back of my mind.

mom - sorry we must have posted at the same time before, so i hadn't seen your last post. hope tomorrow is better for you honey. i know what you mean about not be able to do the things you need to do, i find it so hard some days just to find the motivation to do any of the things i need to, even basic things like putting the washing on.
I am on meds but i feel like a zombie at lot of the time, no sense no feeling hey! They have stopped me having mega high's that lead to a crash so thats a good thing but its not doing much for the underlying depression.

Im going back to work tomorrow, I am not looking forward to it, but iv got to do it some time.

I've been feeling down-down-down.

I've been in this position before - I feel like if I could just get out of my current situations (location, job, etc.) things would be better, but I know from experience that in another situation I am still the same lady with the same issues.

I need to get back into regular exercise, probably more for my mental state than for weight loss/maintenance. Exercising helps me feel better overall, but sometimes I'm just too down to do anything but lay around during my spare time.

I also think I might need to adjust my meds. *Shudder* I HATE the idea that I need a pill every day in order to feel like a semi-normal human being, and I've tried so many different things in the past. Maybe just going back up to a higher dose of my current SSRI (lexapro) will help.

Thanks for letting me vent that here! I'm going to try to keep up with the thread for awhile so I look forward to getting to know you =)

EMS-I didnt mean to leave you out on my last post I somehow missed you I even hit the go advance so I can scroll thru the post..sigh..I hope you get feeling better....I was on meds for 3 years after my 4th baby and just went off of it last may...It was having ALL the opposite affects on me...did great till Christmas time and I just hit a blah period and wanted NOTHING to do with Christmas I MEAN NOTHING..it was horrible cause I am alll into decorating and everything...something clicked the end of january and I am ready to change my life. I know its a process and I want it to all be done now...I know I cant get everything done thats required of me but I could try harder...my head is listing the stuff off but my body is like uhhh NOPE...lol. Thats why I wanted the bodybugg because I thought it would push me to move more around the house cause then I could see all my work was paying off. I am a goal oriented person and love numbers and pushing towards that. I have done decent losing the proper way by tracking my exercise and calories so i dont feel the need for the bb...i have lost the same average as they have in a month (except for my plateau period) lol. IDK

Marie-yes I hear you!! its the little things that should be NO BIG deal that seem to take the MOST effort...UGHHHH...

Iris-yes it does make you feel better just get ONE spurt of energy and GO FOR IT...I have found good energy pills (dont make you jittery and help you focus) is Zantrax 3. You can find them usually at walmart for like 20$ for a 60 pack. I only take one in the morning and can really feel the difference. Only thing I ever tried that helped and didnt make my heart race or jittery or anything...If its not your thing thats ok just thought I would help...anyways if you can find one day to get in there i will help you get there the next day and the next!!!

Hello chicks, and welcome to Iris

momof4, maybe you just need someone to keep reminding you of this, but you homeschool your children and having multiple small children IS A LOT OF WORK!! They dirty up their clothes every day; they need clean clothes every day; so right there laundry is a huge responsibility. Then grocery shopping; putting groceries away; cooking; cleaning up!! You can cut yourself some slack hon

marie, so sorry to hear of the day you just had to stay in bed; then got up before girls got home..I remember that so well..not good. I wish there was something to comfort you and let you know your girl is OK when she goes out with friends. What if she called, while out, to let you know she was OK?

hi ems I hope you're feeling better, and that you don't have a nasty bug. I've been wiping everything at work every day with a bleached cloth, even pens and such, because my boss is a germy man (he's always coughing and hacking) and I'm so lucky I havent been sick in a year.

Hi buddly..that is interesting what your daughter said...but of course her perspective is from a young woman, never married and no children..we know what responsibility you feel with your children. I hope so much that you can find peace , in whatever path and action you take.

hey Aunty Jam do you really have to follow-through on the doggie adoption, if you're having second thoughts? (and lol @ your 'more the merrier' ) Here's to the day that we all feel merry

Hi hope!!! how are you? is it Spring-y down there? OH wait I see you posted that it was 80 and you had windows open!! how nice. It looks like deep January again here

well I have today and tomorrow off...today should be cleaning - I see that I posted last week that I vacuumed, mopped kitchen, etc. and it was clean for 1 day? yeah, that's all that it lasts!! I haven't vacuumed since then and the kitchen floor is back to square one, which is dirty and crumby and who keeps dribbling coffee on the floor? sheesh. Well it gives me something to do.
Oh and I have been able to work out, my knee isn't hurting too much, YAY.

and 22 days until I'm out of the yucky winter job!!

Momof4 - actually I used to take Zantrex but it made me really jittery! They might have re-forumlated, though, it was several years ago that I took it. I do love my coffee and the caffeine generally gives me a slightly rosier outlook in the morning and a little energy.

VermontMom - yeah, I hate how quickly houses seem to re-dirty themselves! I live in the desert and dusting lasts for about 2 hours.

I'd been really sick with a sinus and ear infection that was finally, finally getting better after my 2nd round of antibiotics. Last night it all started coming back. Maybe if I plow through it won't be able to take hold again. I hate feeling miserable but not being "sick" enough to just lay in bed.

Im glad your feeling better marie x

Mofo sorry to hear you have had a hard time hopefully things are looking up abit now for you keep positive and doing what your doing. I understand about the meds not working and having the reverse effect that happened to me a few years ago thats why i do not lile them xxx

Cheers Holly im feeling better today thanks i think it was just a little big or something but im like you wiping everything its like i got ocd when it comes to washing my hands i think thats becaus ei was a nurse before xxx

vermont-thanks...in my head i can do it all but when I try to actually do it I fall short of what my brain is telling me! JUST in towels if no one reuses a towel i have 56 towels to wash a week and almost the same about of wash clothes. Then my husband wears a totally different outfit to work then changes at home and I sweat thru an outfit 5 or 6 days a week...Plus the 6 children. Laundry and I have a love hate relationship!! I hate getting behind it stresses me out from looking at it and not finding what i need...LOL
I guess maybe I expect too much of myself because it worked in my head!


Iris-I think they did too because back in 04 when I used them they did that to me and i didnt like them. But my husband got them again like a year ago and i finally tried one and I loved it..I was calm happy energetic focused!!! BUT DONT DRINK CAFFEINE with them!!

Ems-thanks i want to push thru all this...something has to break soon!!

GUESS WHAT????? I ran the mile in 10.35 today!!!! I havent tried in 2 weeks I have been working on endurance (worked up to running 20mins straight) also increasing speed too and breathing!!! Last time I tried I couldnt get below a 12!! I was SOOOO excited and I guess its a big deal to me but my husbands reply was cool...LIKE REALLY..should just spit in my face...it was the response he gives to the kids about something NON important..Like I texted to my facebook and then I was like I should text him well now I see why I dont!! Been a frustratin day with my husband. He uses a kinda mean tone with me a lot and the tone and attitude of how people talk to me affect me. He seems to think I need to deal with it but tonight I was thinking if that was someone else he was asking that question to at church he would have used a nice tone..i know some of you have worse issues in your marriage but things are really starting to get to me....sigh...another story for another day!

Have a good day tomorrow have my training session tomorrow so he can kill me...LOL
Also I stopped the weights this week cause I was up to like 60lbs for all the machines and I think thats why I saw no weight coming off! IDK we will see!!
lata

Quick hi to everybody. I really want to post but nothing is coming out. Vermont, it was about 70 here today but it is supposed to drop to about 50 for the next few days.

I skipped pool tonight so I could have a night at home. I can't really say I totally enjoyed it though. I don't know why exactly. I was a little down. TOM just arrived tonight so I'm sure that was part of it. I had worked 13 hrs on Sunday and Monday. I worked yesterday then went to a pampered chef party. I felt obligated to go even though I was exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time but I really needed to rest. I have another 13 hour day tomorrow so I wanted to stay home tonight.

I'm glad to see that our chat has gotten busy and good to see you Buddly. I've been wondering what has been going on with you.

Sorry to hear so many are still struggling. Hope things work out soon and the dark clouds lift.

So, next week I'm going to see a therapist for the first time in my life. I'm well overdue lol

Even though right now I'm doing pretty well, I know there's a lot of stuff I need some help to get through - a lot of depression, repression, anxiety, self esteem/confidence issues, to name a few. I'm really nervous about going, but a little excited, because this stuff has been bugging me for about a decade.

But I have a lot of insurance crap I have to tackle before then, to make sure it'll go through okay. Just a big headache. Arrrgh

well done on the run mofo :d

I got my new shape up today the one kim kardashian is advertising there lush gonna try them out in abit xxx

Hey everyone... thought I'd pop in.

My appointment went ok but she didn't change my meds, I think I went in with to many other things and I didn't speak up enough. I'm ok now, a 3 month depression is really not normal for me anymore and I'm thinking it was a combination of winter/kelly/hubby. I'm doing a lot better now... even managed to run almost 3 miles yesterday I'm signing up this weekend for a series of races that I promised a co-worker I'd do with him. That should keep me motivated to get running on a regular basis again. And I'm over my cold! So happy about that, finally not sick for once this year!

Mom - 60lbs is a lot of weight! Good job And btw... you run a lot faster then I do! LoL

Vermont - I think we've decided to go ahead with the adoption... I've emailed the foster home and asked some questions. Found out some good things about Snoop and I think he would fit in well with our family. One of the best things is that he likes to retrieve... which is great, because Chase loves to chase, but not retrieve. So now Chase can chase Snoop - LoL.

Hope - Do you play in a league? My husband does, he's down to one night a week now <insert rolling eyes here> and actually plays semi-professionally. He has a big professional tournament this weekend which means I'll have a lot of time to myself over the next 3-4 days.

Iris - I know how you feel.. I was that way with this last cold/sinus infection. Sick but not sick enough to be satisfied with laying around the house.

Hi to Ems, Katt and anyone else I missed... break time is over Back to work.

oh, PS - if you guys don't like winter don't ever come up here! We're still looking for spring Even though the weather is warmer we still have massive snow.

Oh, and I forgot... hubby's been working a little. He's working for a friend who runs a car lot and needs a tech, we're not sure if this will be permanent yet, but he also got the pharmacy gig and is in the running for a job that is a lot like the one he was doing before (tech in a call center), he's one of only three people being considered for the job. And when he's not doing any of that he's been looking to the temp agencies.

I finally managed to light a fire under his arse it seems.

YES - how true!!!! doesn't that suck?? I have had to bring that up many times...'would you talk to your co-workers like that?' or when he talks to me without eye contact...that is so dismissive! yeah there are lots bigger problems but anything that bothers us IS a problem.

HOLY cow 56 towels...I'm sure glad I am a slack housekeeper and only wash our towels once a week..is that awful?? I hope not and congrats on your working out!!

Hi hope gosh those are some long hours. Take care of you

Aunty Jam - I would certainly say that your long steady depression would be attributed to normal (LONG) Canadian winter AND the sadness of your dog PLUS the husband situation. (and good job on the fire lighting! )

Hi Katt sorry you have insurance stuff to wade through; and the first visit you might be nervous but it is a great opportunity for you, I'm jealous hope it goes well.

Hi ems what is 'shape up'? is it a dvd workout or something? I hope whatever it is, you like it. I just picked up a Kathy Smith yoga videotape for $1, I have never done yoga before.

Iris - I hope the sinus/ear infection goes away!! sounds painful and draining.

well I was throwing a little pity party for myself yesterday, moaning that I only have $6000 to get a motorcycle. I probably should be thankful I have any money at all. I should be able to find a lightly used bike already somewhat customized for around 5000 but for me, it is a pain to comb through ebay, craigs list, all over. It's not 'fun' as people are telling me, 'oh it should be fun to shop for a new bike'. Well, it isn't for me. I just cannot seem to grow up about this