good grief Diva, how much were you going to spend on the wedding? The amount my husband and I spent on our wedding *might* have covered 2 weeks overseas, but not a month and never a downpayment on a house. How much do American weddings cost?

Thanks,. Rosie... I have had some adventures, all right! Probably the craziest one was when I went to Paris alone without a hotel booked in advance (and I don't speak French). I thought if I arrived on a Monday morning it would not be that crowded and I could manage. LOL it turned out to be Bastille Day... everybody in France was in Paris! But I survived.

Oops getting off topic though so will stop at this.

I'm having a small destination wedding myself! I don't know, personally we are keeping ours to more family than friends, but we've sort of had the mindset that if the person is important enough to put on our very small list, we'll be as flexible as possible for their comfort levels -- date, travel friend, etc. They are going through so much to be there for our day, it's the least we can do. Like my best friend lives all the way in Sweden now and her hubby can't make it -- she is coming alone but if she had wanted to bring her sister or something, I wouldn't think twice about saying yes. I'm just so psyched that she's making such a huge trip for us! But we intentionally kept the list shorter to leave a little wiggle room.

I'm sorry it didn't work out though, I hope there isn't much lingering bad juju over it.

gretchen - American weddings can vary greatly in cost. I've been to weddings that cost $1000 or less and I've been to weddings that cost $30,000 or more. Either way, the end result is the same, someone getting married. My wedding with everything cost around $2000. Professional photographer, flowers, tux/wedding dress, hair/nails, food/drinks were really the big ticket items. Not that I was counting on it but I ended up getting about $3000 in cash from relatives as gifts.

My wedding:

My dress: $50 on the clearance rack at the BonTon
Flowers: Free - off my mom's lilac bushes
Hair: Free - hot rollers at home
Husband's clothes: He wore jeans and a T-shirt...which is what I would have worn, but my mom made me wear a dress.
Music: Paid church organist $20
Food: Pizza/wings and soda - about $50
Reception music: Free - mom's radio
Reception hall: Free - mom's backyard
Photog: Free - my mom..although this is the one area I wish I'd have spent some money for

Honeymoon:

Destination: Canada (across the St. Lawrence)
Hotel: $80 at a fabulous bed and breakfast
Dinner: $20 at same B&B
Travel: $20 ferry boat fee

And...we're just as married as people that spend thousands. This weekend....seven years...and I'm not the least bit itchy

I would not consider it as a problem to keep transient boyfriends out.If you want an intimate wedding with a tiny number of select guests, it`s understandable that you would not want a guy there who you barely know and may never meet again.

I agree about the way it`s been put across. Just her name on the invitation should have given the message or prompted her to call. If I was here and wanted to go I would ask whether any of the people I know are going, and then I would phone these people, explain to them that I`ll be travelling w/a partner and join them if they allow me to do so. But I suppose that`s her decision!

Don`t let that ruin your day!
Stella

If I were your friend, I would not go, either.

I wouldn't travel only to be by myself

I don't care if she's not the "only" single one; it's just not the same traveling, alone.

If your wedding were local, I can see inviting singles only. As it is, even if my entire family were invited to a destination wedding, it would have to be someone VERY important for me to be able to justify the cost of our going.

My husband and I had '& Guest' on invitations that were going to people out of state. Because they were traveling to get to our wedding, we thought it would be nice to let them bring a guest. We were lucky though, half of them paired up with other people also invited to our wedding!

I can definitely understand not wanting people you haven't met at your wedding, you're standing in front of them all and saying some very personal things. On the other hand, I knew I was going to marry my husband within a few weeks of meeting him and 5 years later we're happily married. Maybe your friend had that with her guy, maybe she doesn't. I understand her not wanting to travel alone. I guess I'm wondering if her not coming is more about not wanting to travel alone, or being upset that you don't want to invite her guy.

It's your wedding so you get to make the rules. However, you have to understand if some people choose not to participate because of those rules you make.

If you want everyone to come, then invite everyone. If you want only a select few to come, then that's what you will get.

I think it was the snide "Oh well, her loss" comments that totally screamed "bridezilla" on this one.

I too, would not go.

I've traveled alone every three months, internationally, for the last six years from Eastern and Western Europe to Alaska. And with that "Oh well, her loss" attitude there's still no way I would attend.

I can appreciate the principle of an intimate wedding, but I think your approach and execution is selfish at best...