Himself went out this morning to shovel the sidewalks since I am obviously not going to be doing it this year. He is not "tool friendly" in any way at all. He was out about 30 minutes, and came in with a gaping hole in his new cords. I'm not sure how someone gets an L shaped tear on their butt from snow shoveling, but since he came in bloody last time, I guess a small tear is a good consolation. He's been talking his friends into coming over to help because I'm so laid up, and they have all fallen for it. I hope we run out of snow before he runs out of friends. When I first wake up in the morning, I think that I can just hop up and go outside and help, and after that first foot step I remember why I can't. If this was Florida, I could already be out walking in the neighborhood, but I can't do that here. It's just too dangerous. At least I'm getting caught up on my reading, and my textbooks for next semester should arrive any day now, so I'm trying to keep my mind active even if my body is vegging out.

Hi All

I am so far behind on personals I don't think I can catch up. The self-image comments by Annie, Heather, Nancy and Battle have certainly hit home. It's the wavering between that can create a dangerous situation for me. A few people from my office gave me a "Superhero" kit to celebrate my birthday - we had great fun with it - out came the camera - the superhero mask covered the face but not everything else. This may actually be my before picture even though I have lost 30 lbs. I think Nancy had previously mentioned black clothes and not seeing the difference - the pants I had on were much too long as well we much too wide - it certainly doesn't show. I'm pretty bummed out about the pic. On the bright side it was great fun being a superhero.

The time is finally here to head off for our cruise. The bags are mostly packed and the excitement level is off the charts.

I hope to be able to at least read posts a few times while we are gone. I am heading in to this in a good state of mind food wise as the scale continues to give up a bit each and every day. If I can come back with the scale about the same it will be a huge victory. One of my plans is to not use elevators but always take the stairs. Additionally I will walk the deck early every morning as I am an early riser and I will relish watching the sunrise while walking. One concern is drinking enough water - we'll see how that goes.

If I don't get back to post - see you on the 22nd. Keep up the great work.

Hugs,
Carol

To all of you who are tempted by baking, I used to envy anyone who could bake, but now I am thankful that I am really not too good at it. At least I don't have to be tempted by my own cooking. I can bake a few things, but I am also not really interested in doing so, so it doesn't bother me to simply stay away from the oven.

Carol - Have a WONDERFUL holiday!!!!!! I can't wait to 'hear' all about it when you get back. I've never been on a cruise, as I get seasick and worry that I may be stuck in my room all the time feeling awful. I would LOVE to try one though.

Jeanne - I am sure you are going to miss your hubby after having him home for so long. Is he well enough to go back full time, or is he doing it a little at a time?
I actually envy you guys your snow, but I'm not sure I envy you your sleet etc. I can't imagine having a day off because of the weather. Over here the kids are allowed to stay at home if we have had three consecutive days over 100F and are expecting another one, but that RARELY happens where I am and the parents send them to school anyway because we are mostly airconditioned and many of the kids are better off at school than at home.

Story - I think you would look GREAT walking out there in the snow and cold. It should make other people envious that you have that sort of commitment. I have a 'dicky' ticker as well. My dad passed that on to me. Since I was 11 and hormones kicked in I have regularly had ectopic heart beats, where it fits an extra beat in or something and I feel a 'flutter' in my chest. I also used to get regular palpitations, but (touch wood) those seem to be few and far between now. I actually seem to get more of both sorts around TOM, so I have a feeling that hormone affect it somehow, but I have NO idea how.

Catherine - It sometimes sounds as though you almost MISS being out on the sidewalk with a shovel. My hubby is from Calgary (beautiful area) and he says that the one thing he DOESN'T miss is shovelling the snow. I keep telling him that I would love to see a white Christmas and he laughs at me because I think it is freezing when it reaches 15C/58F. He doesn't think I would cope with the cold at all.
I truly hope that you are up and about more soon. Have you been able to give Himself some cooking lessons recently?

Metachick - I have been doing this for almost 4 years now and I have just recently been wondering why all of the treats around the place suddenly look more appealing when I have been able to pass them by for SO long. Please don't feel bad for your 'lapse', as it can happen to all of us and we just have to either try to get around it or we have to wade through it and come out the other end more determined. The past couple of days I seem to have waded through it, but I am determined now that I can get around them now and get back to my 'avoidance/ignorance' of all the extra goodies. Good luck with the next few days.

Nancy - It is wonderful that you are still down a pound even though you didn't think you did that well lately. You will probably find that you are actually eating better than you realise and are fitting in a lot more incidental exercise/movement than you used to do, which would all be helping. I know that I have had a few 'rest' days from exercise lately, as I haven't been feeling that well and I don't want to get REALLY sick for the holidays. But when I have thought about it, I have worked out that I have actually been moving around quite a bit just throughout the regular day, so I am certainly not as sedentary as I used to be.
I really like your new 'view' of your body. It sounds really positive! I may have to use that a little myself I think. I still have days when I feel 'fat' and it seems to mess with my head more than it should.

As for me...

I survived the day yesterday with very little voice. The kids were really good (when they weren't laughing at me for my squeaky voice) and behaved really well. I had someone come in and help out when I had to move all of the furniture out of my room in the afternoon, so that went better than I thought.
I got lots of lovely presents and cards from kids and parents. I would like to encourage any of you who have school-age kids to let their teachers know when they are doing a good job. We certainly don't do this job for the accolades, but it just makes us feel SO wonderful when someone takes the time to let us know that they appreciate us. I was SO happy to receive some of the notes, comments and hugs from parents. Here are a few notes I got in cards:

"Many thanks for your thoughtful and caring approach to S this year - it has not gone unnoticed and is very much appreciated. We feel S has made many advances in his school life in 2007 and this has been helped by you." (This was from parents who have had some 'difficult' years in the past.)

"Thank you for all of your hard work the last 2 years. E has gone from being shy, and a reluctant reader, to confident and a lover of poetry."

"Thank you for making P's school life so much happier and worthwhile than previous years. You have restored our faith in the school system."

I am sure you can imagine how special these were to me. I can't stop smiling when I think about them. I suppose I always try to do my best for the kids and their families, but you never REALLY know if it is good enough until you see things like this. Oh... and the good State test results helped too. LOL

I have to go in to school for a few hours this morning for staff winding up stuff, then we are off until the end of January. I am getting my hair coloured this afternoon (to cover up a LOT of grey) and then we are in to the city to watch the Chorus sing. Tomorrow I am hoping that my voice is good enough to sing in the city, otherwise I may just join them and 'mouth' the words, to get used to the performance side of things. It is supposed to be a wet day, so I hope we have cover wherever we go.

Catch you all soon.

Take care,

Zelma

Hi all,

OK....I suck. I tweaked my back a few weeks back, could barely do anything...but eat. So I did. And haven't really stopped. I am so disgusted with myself. Why why why? Argh.

Angie

Hi everyone. I hope you all had super days that were op and water filled. My day was pretty good. It started of great with a 8.5 pounds loss from last Thursday. Before we get too excited. It is TOM for me and I must have dropped a ton of water weight that I have been holding onto. But, I am thrilled because I have 5 more pounds to go before I hit a 200 pound lost for this year! I have 16 pounds to go and I will be out of the 3's FOREVER. Lots to look forward to in the next few weeks for me weight wise. If I don't hit those goals until after next year so be it, I am close. I have worked hard this year and I am just going to about that fact.

Sandy: How did the bake sale go today? I hope you were able to resist but if not we still love you!

Jeanne: Congrats to you on -1. Keep up the great work. to you on feeling blah. Maybe you could get one of those sun light type things to cheer you up? I have been hearing lots about them and the wonders they seem to be for people who get seasonal affective disorder or depression.

Nancy: Woohoo to you on another -1 You are rockin girl. I am so happy for you.

Meta: You will get back into the swing of things. Here is a hand up........ okay now back on track you go.

Catherine: Don't you dare go out side to shovel snow or even attempt it right now! Okay, that said, sorry you are so board and your trusty sewing machine is messed up. Hang in there. When do you get to join the pool????

Storey: Hi

Carol: I hope it is/was a happy, happy birthday! Have a super time on the cruise!

Zelma: How precious those notes from parents are!

Angie: How's the back? Now, here is your hand back on track...... Okay, tomorrow is a brand new day!

Well all, I hope you are doing wonderfully well. Have a great weekend if I don't talk with you until later.

Where are you Debbie, Sharon, Patti, Xena, Brandnewme, anyone I didn't mention by name, come back to us soon.

Blessings all,
annie

Hi, just another quickie.
Zelma, I always send a card & small present at the end of the school year, with Gareth being Autistic he needs extra help & support. I just wish we could afford to buy ALL the staff presents as everyone, dinner ladies included are so caring at his school. I hope you get to rest your voice & the change from class teacher to IT & music specialist (am I right?, sorry if I'm not) is fun, surely it means LESS paperwork? lol xxxxxxxxx
Nancy, I too buy men's t shirts, I bought a lovely Betty Boop one, I knew it would be tight but WTF the sleeves barely covered my armpits, let alone my arms. I sent it to Ammi for her daughter who likes it, it was VERY short too. Why are manufacturers making short, tight, almost sleeveless t shirts for fat/larger women???? I want sleeves that cover most of my upper arms and ALL of my tummy!!!!! I am sure with all this dance, yoga & other exercises they will be shrinking fast!xxxxxxx
Battle, WTG on feeling more like a 'woman', you are really attractive & guess what??? There are a lot of men who like women with curves, busts & bottoms, not stick insects. I'm sure you will be pleasantly suprised!!! I met my hubby at this weight (I did gain quite a bit coz of pregnancies & depression related to having a disabled child but he still loved & fancied me) and though I felt fat there were guys 'checking me out'. You smile, that's the best thing anyone can wear, it suits all sizes!xxxxxxx
I have to take Gareth to school now, I have ANOTHER coldsore & I'm off for a few drinks tonight with my sister & friend, so I'll look great in my new sparkly jean & earrings with a big red BLOB on my lip! It's bad enough having a sore nose from keep blowing it! Not that I'm after guys or anything!!!! I'll just feel self conscious all night now!
I treated myself to an early present some Angel perfume so at least I'll smell nice, lol!!!
Take care everyone & stay wrm, or COOL in Zelma's case!!!
xxxxxxxsharon

I don't know anyone to leave personals, but I think posting here will keep me more accountable!

I received my new walking at home dvd (low impact is about all I can do at the moment). I FINALLY installed the fitday software that has been sitting on my desk for WEEKS. AND my bento box/laptop lunch is enroute to my humble abode (thought that would help me with portion sizes, and help keep me prepared when not at home near meal or snack time...plus waste free..huh, huh?).

Anyways, I recently joined 3FC with intentions of just lurking, but was blown away by the support soooo I'm posting, AGAIN...

I have been planning my course of action the past 3 days and although I have been more aware of what I am doing, since the majority of my "beginning tools" are here and ready, right now!!! i am starting...right now as a matter of fact! Going to do my video right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish me luck!

Right now!

Good Luck judojediworm! And......

Hi everyone! Have a great OP day! I'm off to the Candy Store! Yikes!!! It's been rough, but - we have been so busy - I haven't had much sneakin' time!

Sharon: HI. I have been missing you.

Judojedi: Welcome! So glad to have you here. Jump in and post anytime you want. Doing personals isn't something you have to do. If someone says something that strikes you and gets you to thinking and want to comment, go for it. we're just glad to meet you and see what's going on in your life.

Jeannie: Good morning.

Well, did my exercise and it is almost 6 so time to go shower and get ready for work.
Blessings all,
annie

Good Morning!!

Sorry I have been MIA, but this time of year is so crazy for me!! I have been reading all your posts, and even though I can't get back on the computer after work to post myself, I am keeping all of you in my thoughts every day.

As for me, eating has not been so great. I am fine at at breakfast and lunch(at work) but since all I do is run around when I get home, dinner has not been so good. We moved all the furniture in the living room to accomodate our tree~which at the moment I have pulled Jack out of 3 times today~ and I don't know which abyss the scale went into. I know...I am the queen of denial anyway...I could actually go on the scale in the Nurses office at school...but I can't bring myself to do it. And that is EXACTLY how I wound up 380lbs. I find myself reverting to old bad habits, and that makes me really dissapointed in myself. I am finding that the more people are noticing my loss so far, and it is really making me feel like I am so much further along than I really am. In my own twisted way, I think I am sabotaging myself. I am really planning after the holidays (no excuse, just reality!)to make a plan with all my WW materials to start over (again!). I have to get back in control. There, now I have put it out there and you all can beat me with a stick if I reneg on it!!!

I am going tomorrow to see John Edward and I am very excited!! I am hoping he can have some of the relatives come through to me...I will wear my Grandmothers earings and I have a Kartosh(sp) my FIL got me from Egypt that I will wear, so maybe that can help. I am going with my neighbors next door, but I feel so bad for them because last week they told us the Dad has just been put into Hospice and will not be comming home. His body is riddled with cancer and he is very ill. Makes my psycho problems seem so trivial!!
Also, Sunday we will be having "Fake Christmas". Last Sat. my SIL call my husband and TOLD him that they would be comming over on Sunday to celebrate since they will be going to my Niece's in MD and we are not. Now mind you, I had only bought little gifts to mail down since we are staying home, so now I had to go out and buy everyone something better, and I almost freaked since she invited herself and I thought I would have to cook a Christmas Dinner with 1 weeks notice!! I made Doug call her back and she said not to bother with the turkey, she will bring ziti and sausage dishes. I am still not thrilled, but I ordered a 3ft hero (chicken cutlet w/mozzerella and roasted peppers) anyway. At least my kids will get something from them...although in the past, most had to be returned!!

So that's my story for the past couple of weeks...oh and for all you Billy Joel lovers...I live in the lovely town of Hicksville, NY...which if you are a true fan, you know that it is where he grew up. I have seen him in concert numerous times, and when he was married to Christie Brinkly, I was a cashier at Genovese Drugs(like CVS) and they came in to shop. He is a doll, and she definately looks better with makeup on!!!!!!

Have a Great Weekend!!

Have a GREAT Cruise Carol!!!!

Good Morning Everyone

I also identified with the conversations involving self image. Just this week while being really happy about a 50 pound loss, I found myself thinking and making self-deprecating comments like "it's just a drop in the bucket for me" and thinking I'm still so large 50 pounds doesn't make that much difference. But after reading all your posts, I decided to just make it all positive and just celebrate the loss for the success it is

I also find it difficult to do baking and not be constantly sampling myself. Therefore, this year I have really reduced the amount of baking and fudge making I am doing, since I in previous years I think I did it more for myself to eat than anyone else. Also, I'm not doing any Christmas goodie cooking until the weekend just before Christmas since I'm planning to take the few days around Christmas as "free" days. I did this at Thanksgiving without gaining any weight so I hope I can be as successful at Christmas and get right back OP the day after Christmas.

Meta & Angie - We all fall down from time to time, that's why your friends are here to help you up, understand and encourage you to not beat yourselves up, just get back up, dust yourselves off and move on & try again. Here's a for you both.

Donna - I can totally relate to ending up this way by being in denial and avoiding the scale. The times in my life that I have gained the most is when I did not step on the scale. I won't beat you with a stick but I will do what I can to encourage you to be positive and don't let those old habits creep back up on you.

Judo - Good Luck Right Now!!!

Carol - I am so envious of you going on a cruise. It's something I've always wanted to do & still hope to do sometime in the future. Have a great time!

Catherine - The image of himself shoveling snow was just too funny. I too hope you run out of snow before friends or he may not have any wearable clothes left. I hope you can be up and about soon, since it sounds like you are going stir crazy, especially since your sewing machine bit the dust.

Wishing everyone a great weekend.

Johnnie

More about self-image. I think I was most depressed about how I looked after losing 70 pounds. At my high weight I had given up caring. I was a blob, knew it, and focused on other things I was good at. But after I lost a lot of weight I still was obese and still couldn't shop in most stores... you wonder "Why DID I bother?" I'm glad I kept the positive thinking alive, though. Even at that weight I had reclaimed my life.

Still catching up on posts, but wanted to thank everyone for the support and good thoughts from the bottom of my heart. I needed that, and should have come sooner. Today is the third day back on track, and the first day where I'm starting to feel like me again, only 5 pounds heavier. Those pounds will go I know, but it's a little demoralizing to have them back if even for a week or two.

The first two days were tough, like driving and having to hold the wheel really hard to stay off the yellow line. Sometimes it's not just what you eat, but how you eat, and what you're feeling as you do. The physiological storm that follows a binge is tough too, and it gets hooks into your mental state as well.

Angie - You don't suck. It's all so damn unpleasant, which makes the fact that we've all done it over and over again so frustrating and inexplicable on the surface. It's so easy to be hard on ourselves, and see it as bevaviour that reflects some deep, ridiculous, unforgivable personal flaw. One of the biggest gifts of the intuitive eating stuff for me has been the understanding and acceptance that through binging and overeating I am actually trying to help myself, to sooth myself, to meet very real and very valid emotional and psychological needs in a way that took root at some earlier point of my life when I didn't have near the skills I needed to recognize any of it. At the core these are positive, if ultimately ineffective, expressions of self love and self care. I just need to learn new ways to sooth my emotions and fears, and slowly - and imperfectly - I am. I don't suck either.

Anxious to catch up on the self-image discussion you've all been having. It looks really interesting.

Only soaked in enough to manage one more personal for now...Carol, have a FANTASTIC cruise.