Oh Flower, good for you on the size 18!! I'm so happy for you ... you deserve to be spoiled!!


Terri, you said:

And I am so there with you!! That is my philosophy now.

Lamorgan, you are so industrious -- I envy you that. I guess because I've lived in apartments the majority of my adult life and moved about every 2 years, I never had the urge to decorate. DD yells at me for that, but I rarely even put a picture on the wall. The one period in my life when I lived in a house it was a house my XDH (1st one) bought -- literally, I saw it once and then he decided to just buy it -- and I spent most of my time in the garden, not in the house, puttering and digging and weeding and planting; it was great.

Wildfire, good for you and your DH coming up with a financial plan and pursuing your dream of owning a home. I dig what you're saying about not wanting to live around neighbors whose behavior you can never predict. My downstairs neighbors still slam their doors like they're furious and I go to sleep every night listening to them laughing, talking, watching movies, yadda yadda. I feel like I live with them.

Yesterday was the start of my "No Diet/Just Live Right" plan, and it went pretty well. I didn't exercise, partly because the fresh snow kept me from wanting to walk outside, particularly in the dark, and partly b/c I didn't have time b/c I had typing to do. I had toast and an Opti Fast shake for breakfast, another shake for lunch, and leftover Teriyaki salmon and veggies with about a cup of rice for dinner. I got hungry later on and had a bowl of oat bran cereal with skim milk and raisins. In fact, I was so hungry all day I got a headache, but that should pass once I re-adjust. DD and I went to the local Whole Foods to shop for healthy, organic, sugar-free, whole-grain kind of foods. I am SO glad to be back to eating a diet based on fruits and veggies, whole grains, and soy. I do, however, feel compelled to drink some of those shakes, since I have so many here. Wonder if my sister wants them...At any rate, I realize now that was always gnawing at the back of my mind, that the Opti Fast plan was high sugar, no fiber, no veggie, and that really, really bothered me after two years of training myself to eat healthy. I wish I had looked at the ingredients and nutrition information on the shakes before I started, although I was on a mission so I might have disregarded that info just like I disregarded the cost.

All right, I've written a book again. Sorry guys, I keep doing this; I've taken to posting in the morning while I'm drinking coffee and I guess I just go on and on. Later!

I love transformation, and when I take a room and wash the walls, then prime it and patch holes and eventually paint it it's magic to me. I'm healing the room. Usually we rented low-rent, dilapitated houses before we bought our first home. They had to be painted, because the previous tenants were 'questionable' to say the least... One house in Toronto had bikers, snakes and rats (pets) living there just before us. Now that house was a treat... The bathroom was unbelievable.

In my life where most jobs I've done for the past 14 years have been nearly immediately erased, this gives me lasting satasfaction. Laundry and housework is never really done, with jobs being undone within minutes of a cleanup. That's life with 4 kids.

And I have 'fussy' genes too. My mother, my sisters... I can't help it...

(I think Martha Stewart is a Goddess.......)



Anyway. Ruthie!!!!!!! Yahoo!!!!!!! I think you have taken such a healthy step! You can always save those shakes for those days you're on the go and don't have time to make a healthy or nutritous lunch.

Flower ~ I want an almost mother-in-law. I'd just love for someone to buy me some new clothes! And wonderful about the size. Actually, I have a new friend who is a shopaholic, and she does the used clothes circuit in a nearly full-time way. She sells the clothes she buys to upscale consignment stores. She also brings me the clothes she buys that are too small for her, and brought my youngest child who so badly needed pants 5 pair of really good quality sweat pants and gap jeans... And she brought me a pair of bellbottom jeans with satin trim on the bottom.

Oh well, I've rambled on enough. I'm sitting here drinking coffee too.

Hello to everyone else!

Lois

Hi Everybody! I wanted to come on and admit that I'm really struggling now and I don't know why--feeling very sheepish and embarrassed. How is it that I can do so well and then screw it all up? Will I ever make peace with this self-sabotage? Physically, I'm feeling miserable but I know the cycle, I have hope but I'm at the "scary" point now where I'm terrified of gaining back the weight.

I'm currently doing that "Ill get back on track tomorrow" thing and we know what a trap that is!

Hello all...

Well, it's official - I'm sick. Well, not *sick* as in a cold, but I've got a humdinger of a sinus thingy going on and got free bedspins this morning while debating on calling in sick. I didn't, but I did go in 1 1/2 hours late. Blech...

Flower - Awsome on the shopping spree! My ex MIL was like that (after 3 sons I was the only DIL) and it was really an odd feeling to be given carte blanche with a credit card. Greetings fellow spoiled one!

Ruthie - I'm so happy you decided to try this on your own without the OptiFast. I haven't heard much about it, but if they're keeping you from fiber, fruits and veggies - eh, I'm not impressed! The shakes sound ok once in awhile, but as your only meals??? Eeek!
Anyway, good job!!! Think of all the money you'll save!

Lamorgan - Fussy genes!!! That's what I have! Thank you for diagnosing what my friends have been calling "Better Homes and Garden Syndrome"

Eydie - Oh, do I know how you feel... I lost 56 lbs., gained back 89, lost 90 lbs., gained back 130, lost 25 lbs., gained back 35.... No, I'm not kidding. I've been to goal 2 times in my life and both times I've gained it back, plus... I think the biggest part of quitting the self-sabotage, is learning self-forgiveness. We've got to eat and eatting is an addiction, but we have to have an addiction in moderation - and it sucks. I know how you feel - be gentle with yourself and know that you'll come around. We always seem to go in waves - know that that next wave is coming and hold on to it. It's always day-by-day... We can do it (heck, we've done it before!!)

S'all for now...

Terri

Hi, I'm here, reading quickly. Just been busy and tired, and strangely sick last night.

Flower, way to go on the smaller size! Enjoy your new duds!

Ruthie, glad you've made a decision on the OptiFast. I didn't like to see you struggle. At least now you know what it's like, and that question can be put to rest.

Lamorgan, I love to redecorate too, but living in apartments I'm limited to what I'm allowed to do. I want my own house again where I can express myself!

Pumpkin, the bowling clinic sounds great! I'll have to ask at our alley to see if they have such a thing.

Eydie, come on back.....that horse is waiting for you to climb back on!

Hey Eydie, DON'T feel embarrassed...especially not with us. Maybe right now you need to take it really slow and focus on one day at a time instead of looking long-term, where you see yourself either maintaining or gaining. Just try to make each day a good day for yourself. I do know what you mean about putting it off till tomorrow; I've put it off for many tomorrows myself. Pop in more often and talk to us!

Lamorgan...fussy genes...that's funny. My mom is a spic-and-span kind of woman, ultra neat, we weren't even allowed to sit on the living room sofa for fear we would sully it somehow. I think it might be b/c of that that I ended up being a messy person. I know where everything is that I might need to get my hands on, but it's all in big piles stacked around the house.

Punkinseed, sorry you're feeling sick; hope it passes soon.

Wildfire, what does "strangely sick" mean? Sounds like a euphemism for pregnancy, LOL! Hope you're feeling better, too.

Thanks everyone for your supportive comments -- wow, you all seem so positive now that I've quit Opti Fast; you should have told me it didn't seem like a good idea!

Thanks, guys! I know I'm among friends; I was just so disappointed with myself!
I'm really sick of feeling so bad physically and feeling like I'm not being true to myself. And it doesn't help that I cook for a living and at work I try to go as healthy and low-fat as possible but sometimes that doesn't work with the patrons so well. I don't keep any sweets at home but at work cookies are my specialty and they're good! But I've cut myself off before and I can do it again.
I'm checking in early before work to declare my good intentions so hopefully I can give a good report this afternoon when I get home!
My favorite jeans are tight now--ick--who needs that? Speaking of clothes---what a great shopping spree, Flower! And way to go on the lower size!
Ruthie, I'm glad you're feeling peaceful about your decision. I would've been thinking about it being 'sugar water' constantly too!
Lamorgan, are you into feng shui? If not it might be an interesting element to add to your redecorating!

Off to work! I can do this!

Good morning all...

Just checkin' in... Doing much better today (thanks Ruthie!) since I started taking some sinus meds. I have a slight sore throat, but I think that's just some drainage (a good thing!). I swear, allergies in winter??? I must be allergic to air... (I am allergic to mold, but it's too dry here for it).

Indulged in some veggie pizza for dinner since the entire days' meals were 4 biscuits for breakfast and a bowl of mashed potatoes for lunch (carbs are my feel-better food, can you tell??). So I didn't feel too bad having the pizza - although it did sit like a little rock in my stomach... Still, good goin' down!

Later gators,

Terri

Hey guys!!

Long time no post! I have been really busy- too busy to eat but the scales are not showing that! Worked all weekend- hospital life is definitely different than the business world! It will take some getting use to!

Ruthie - Hope that all is well! Glad you made your decision sorry about the dental work!

Flower - Congrats on the size change! It is nice to go expecting to buy one size and coming home with one several sizes smaller!

I think my scale must of finally fixed itself! It has been weighing 6 pounds light for the past year and now it is steadly hanging at the number I should of been. It isn't just weighing heavy with me it is weighing heavy with the whole household so... I am officially at 150 and I am not happy about it!

DH and I bought a stand alone weight set-up and put it together in our workshop outside. I can definitely tell I haven't been working out.. but I have been consistently for the past 3 days and hopefully I will soon be able to get back to my old regimine?... Next investment is a treadmill- I am cancelling my membership at the Y... because I can't make it there.. I don't feel quite so bad about working out in the workshop- I am still home and not completely abandoning my kids. Matter of fact they are out there with us most of the time...

School is going I am so tired that I can't stand myself! I have to write a paper this afternoon.. that is due tomorrow.. so I had better get on it since we are having company tonight.

Hope that everyone is doing good, it sounds like it!

Hugs to you all,
Amy
176/150/130

Back from work. I made it thru the day sugar-free but man, am I grumpy!!!! Detoxifying, I guess!

Bought a box of mandarin oranges today and I'm looking forward to when I choose one over a cookie. Right now, it seems so far away---maybe I can get someone to tie me to a post in the basement until I'm over my sugar cravings, just let me sweat it out!

I gathered my guts up to weigh myself yesterday and I'm at 150--my lowest weight was 137 pounds and I'd like to get back to that. Problem is I want it right now!

I am not doing anything this weekend! I feel like all I am doing is go go go and go. I left for work at 7. Left there at 1, got home just in time to get Chris and Griffin for Grif's doc appt for his immunizations and then dropped them off. I came home for 5 seconds to make sure the boys got home okay and then went to Albertsons to shop. Put groceries away and made dinner for everyone. I am not eatting, as I am too wound up, but I have been munching on some kettlecorn. I may go open a can of mandarin oranges in a bit. That sounds way yummy! Chris went to go get his brother who is bringing over his Nitendo Game Cube. They will all discover how cool it is, and for the next few week, can we get one????? Will be the most common used sentence around here. UGH! So this weekend will be mommy r and r time. Most deserved! Hope everyone is good and I will be more interactive soon. I am on autopilot right now. ~flower

Boy oh boy oh boy. I am calling out of work today. I just can't stand that job anymore; I could die of boredom and bitterness. After 14 years there, I am ready to go. I have made myself a promise never again to work just b/c of the $$ unless I absolutely have to -- I've done that for 22 years, working ungratifying office jobs so I could raise my DD. Well, DD is raised and I want to let things other than just $$ guide me. I really don't care about my lifestyle much in terms of having a big apt. or a nice car (or a car at all; I'd just as soon not have one if I don't need one) or clothes or whatever. At any rate, I'm trying to figure out a way to quit that job a month earlier than planned. I just have to sit down and figure out a good estimate of my expenses for May through July, and I have to find out from work/insurance carrier if and how I could continue health insurance coverage through the summer. The sooner I get out of there, the better. I had hoped to leave May 31; now I'm hoping for May 3, which is a payday which could cover May's rent. February 1 is coming up, which means I have to give my landlord his 90 days notice that I plan to leave July 1. Although that's a scary feeling, God willing, if DD and I need a place to stay for a few weeks or a month until we go off to wherever, we could probably find someone to stay with. And it's a good feeling to start tearing down the old life in preparation for the new life. Can't wait for the new life; dying of boredom here.

The other issue is the Guy. I have been thinking and thinking and thinking, and I think maybe I need to let go of that idea too. You know, who knows what the future will bring? But for now, why am I jumping from one man to another? Why muddle my life with this issue? No matter how much I care about him, is it really necessary to mingle my life with his? Or is it better to feel free to take care of things according to my own agenda -- considering I've never done that in my whole life? And not worrying about a man also frees me up to deal with my weight in a way I see fit. Does that make sense? I just need right now to get rid of everything that doesn't directly enhance my life. Even things that have the potential to enhance it, but right now might be difficult to work through, need to be deferred.

Well, sorry I went on and on. Feeling very philosophical the past few days. There are days when my job just suffocates me, no matter how hard I try to suck it up. And things are changing there so much so rapidly that I am really nervous about the security of my job, and I want to jump ship before it sinks. I have been a responsible parent, doing the right thing even though it chokes me, for 18 years, and I only have a few months left. Not to say I won't be responsible when she's in college, but the burden will be lighter; in fact, if I don't have a good-paying job, she will get more financial aid! And she will get health insurance through school. She has $$ that she inherited which will help cover her first year while I'm in grad school (God willing), and then after that I will (God willing) be working again and can help cover at least some of her expenses. But we will both be poor students, which will cleanse both our souls.

All right, I'm done. Catch youse all later.

Walked this morning in the pouring rain. Wet, wet, wet. It's pajama day at school, so I had to find them all decent pjs to wear to school. Feels very wrong watching the 3 younger kids walking across the park in their pajamas...

Eldest child is stressed because he has his first ever exam this morning, and didn't have a scientific calculator, and blah, blah, blah.

My energy is low, I feel wiped out today. I have an assignment due tomorrow, so that's what I'll be working on today.

L

Good morning and happy Friday eve!

I think I finally straightened out my dinner *issues*!! Last night was black bean soup with polenta and tonight, tri-tip with a baked potato... Ooooh, feels good to not go to bed stuffed to the gills every night! And the scale shows it - imagine that...

Amyjo - I'm tired just reading your posts! What is it that you do in the hospital? I hope you find that energy reserve you need soon!!

Eydie - Yes, grouchy sugar detox. I almost got violent yesterday when I didn't have a chance to get my M&M fix. 2 days, no M&M's...

Ruthie - I really hope you can find a way to get outta there early. I decided years ago too to never again have a job I hate because of the money. I'm a much, much happier person because I love my job (which is also the family business). Besides that, every so often it's good to shake life up a bit - keeps ya on your toes and makes you grow as a person. Good luck and I hope all the "God willing"'s come true.

Lamorgan - PJ day?!? I wanna go to that school!!!! Well, I guess I can't complain... I haven't worn shoes while I work for 2 years now and sweats are part of my "dress code".

Well, I better get some work done so I can spend tomarrow being a bum. Our company is about to expand so I better enjoy the peaceful Friday's while I can!

Later gators,
Terri

Hey!

Good food day today.... not so good yesterday, such is life! Lifted a few weights tonight but had to run DD to the skating rink for their school night there- so I didn't do too much. It is dreary here, can't decided if it wants to rain or not so it is just enough to make it hard to walk, since you can't tell if the bottom is going to fall out any minute.

Terri - I am a 3rd year nursing student. I go to school Monday through Thursday (16 credit hours - that doesn't count the time you have to submit to pass this Gosh awful program)...I started working at our local Women's and Children's hospital (state hospital affliated with the college) last friday as a Patient Care Assistant(nursing assistant). It is really cool because the nurses know which nursing assistants are Student nurses and some of them are real cool about letting you see procedures or assist with procedures you wouldn't normal see or do (even in class)... This past weekend I got to see the ER Dr. perform a spinal tap on a 2 month old baby, I got to see a C-Section during my 4 hour orientation in the Labor and Delivery department.... This was in my first 3 days there I was suppose to be working on the Mother/Baby hall but I decided I really want to work in the Evaluation Center (ER) it was so cool, always busy... Had a blast! (my DH said that weird things excite me.. Oh well what can I say, I am weird)

Ruthie - Before I quit my job last January (January 18th) to be exact, I was to the point of losing it too. I hated it beyond description. I just wanted to die every time I had to go through the door and it showed on my face and in everything I did. I liked some of the people I worked with and I did a good job at what I did but the BS that went along with the job made it miserable... I hope that you are able to put things together and get out of there as soon as you can. My old boss wants me to come back this summer and do accounts receivable while a girl is out on maternity leave... I just don't see how I will be able to... I am working at the hospital now, summer semester I am only required to do 12 hours but that is alot for a short semester...3 classes and then do their accounting on top of it .. Oh I don't think so! So is everything confirmed with DD and Spain?

Flower - I know how you feel run run run run .... I feel like the gingerbread man but I really wish someone would catch me!

Eydie - Girl you have a handle on it... You will be back on base before you know it! I don't know how you handle it as well as you do working around food everyday... I would lose it major! That is one thing so far about the hospital, I don't get hungry there... too many germs!

Anyone heard from Summer, Sheila or Lynds? Has anyone thought about starting a new thread?

Got the day off tomorrow I think I might go for a run in the AM while the kiddo's are at school... I really just need to sit on my duff and study but gosh I need to get back OP...

Hugs to you all!

Amy
176/150/130