PS-- just wanted to note that this quote is so wonderful

Thank you for that, Catherine... if you don't mind, I'm going to quote you in my signature because I think those words are great motivation.

thanks catherine for your words of support... i will hang in there and not give up which i was on the verge of doing but no i will not give up i have come too far to go back now!

Thank you everyone for your support. I can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me. I truly don't know what I'd do without this place.

Right now I am in the wait and see stages - I don't know what I should or shouldn't be eating, or how much/how little I will be allowed to exercise. I won't know anything concrete until some of my blood tests come back in, and they do all the other tests they have scheduled for the end of this week. So I'm doing what I can - trying to eat within my calorie range with a few substitutions (very little sodium), and trying to move a little bit each day. The moving part is pretty hard since my leg is still pretty swollen. I hope that each day it will get better.

I still intend to post here and address some of the issues, as I think that it's a cathartic thing for me and may be informational for some other people. But, I think I will work on getting my journal restarted and do a day-by-day type of thing with it, addressing the issues and realities of CHF and the medications I am on. I think I need to do it for myself more than anything, so that hopefully I can look back on it one day and realize that I came through it and can get through anything as long as I set my mind to it.

Once again, thank you for all your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. And thank you for the support you've shown - you're all very special people and I am proud to say I am a member of this wonderful group. I will be back (with bells on!) and posting soon.

Brandnewme - What you went through sounds so frightening!!! You definitely have all the support you can get here. One thing that helped me a lot when my legs were swelling a good bit was to raise them up on pillows to get the pressure off them and to help them drain back into the rest of my body. Ugh – I remember how my legs would get so swollen I thought they would split open. Very painful. I was very lucky that it was just leg swelling and that I didn’t have any heart or clotting issues, but I do remember seeing the doctor and being terrified that there was something more wrong with me. Starting slowly and getting help from your doctors sounds like the way to go. We are here for you any time!

Sandi – Welcome to the 300+ board! You are always so supportive of everyone over in the 100+ club – we are lucky to have you join us!

Battle – I ended up writing enough that I realized the sexuality topic really does need another thread.


Not much to report on my end. I have been mostly staying on plan except for all of a sudden I have been eating too many of the pretzels we have in our office. As far as snacks go pretzels aren’t the worst, but they are still pretty empty calories.

I have spent a long time writing the other post about sexuality issues and need to go make my dinner – it’s late!

Debbie-The only thing that keeps me going at times is knowing that Tomorrow is another day. This is the hardest thing that we will ever have to do, and it’s hard when you are surrounded by supportive, helpful people. Having added stress makes it harder, but not impossible. Just think of how sweet the revenge against DIL when you are successful.

Ideal-I hate those slow weeks too. I seem to have had more slow ones than quick ones.

Booty-I don’t mind being quoted. I always think the stuff I say is goofy.

Toofat-I’m glad you’re not giving up. We lose too many.

Brandnew-It sounds like you have a plan. Just do what you can, and try not to get too anxious while waiting for the wheels to move. We are all thinking about you, so check in so that we know how you are doing.

Nancy-I’ve got to go find this thread and read up.

Went to the mall with the hubby. We walked, did a bit of shopping, and had a big bowl of Japanese soup for dinner at the food court. GNC is having a very good month. I usually have a few things to get each month, but it seems like everything got empty at the same time this month. Yikes. I wish I could buy the cheaper generic stuff at Walmart, but I just don’t trust it, especially now with all this contaminated stuff coming from overseas. I also wish that fresh salmon was cheaper that ground beef, but that’s not happening anytime soon either.

The life I am losing...

Today after work me and another friend went to visit a friend who had a baby. As I went up to her front door, her steps were a bit high, so I really had to make an effort to go up them. I don't think they were really high, I just think I am that bad right now. Sitting on the couch I realized that I was almost laying back due to my girth, I had to purposely sit up. Then she wanted to show me the nursery upstairs (think 2-story). When we got to the nursery, it was everything I could do to hide the fact that I was out of breath. Then my friend and I went out for dinner and I got out of breath walking in (I had to park in back - but come on!!).

Everyday simple things are becoming such a chore when they shouldn't even be being noticed.

I should be hopping up those stairs
I should be sitting back with my legs crossed
I should quickly run upstairs
It shouldn't even cross my mind that I had to park in back and walk

When will enough be enough?

Ugh. Just a note to say how frustrated I am... I wasn't really hungry at all today, just kind of ate out of obligation, and when I did eat it was totally OP and healthy... and then, after a rough day of work, I had a major craving for Taco Bell. I thought to myself (very naively): how many calories can ONE taco be? It's not that bad, right? HAH. Well I did stick to the one taco limit, only it was a cheesy gordita crunch, and when I got home? Surprise, surprise! 560 calories and 33 GRAMS OF FAT.

Grr, I just feel like I wasted a great OP day because I stupidly thought that fast food wouldn't be that bad for me. That's the last time I'll be making THAT mistake.

not givng up but am suffering from a major depression right now. any suggestions on getting back in the groove?

Patty -- Are you on any medication or do you have a doctor you can see about the depression?

Does anyone else find it cruelly ironic that FF is both for Fat Free and French Fries?

LILION, on your SALSA suggestions – yum! I just bought some special artichoke-garlic salsa not an hour ago, to cook some lean pork strips in, but now I have a lot more ideas – thanks! And thanks to METACHICK for asking!

Dear BRANDNEWME, I certainly understand that fear. You can do this! You listened to the warning signs, saw the doc, and you have time to turn this around. I’m not on this thread consistently anymore because I can’t keep up, so forgive me – I’ve forgotten what you’ve tried and what’s worked for you in the past. But perhaps it might me time to try something you haven’t before – whether that’s a wt loss group, a gym, whatever. What has always been a great motivator for me was reading books on health, nutrition and weight loss. Reading about it helps me keep focused and excited. I’d be in lots better shape now if I’d kept reading, and of course staying in touch here. I hope that things come together for you soon and you can tune in to that progress and get healthier. I wish that for ALL of us! <hugs!>

CHRISTINE, Bravo on your victorious return to the SB wrap! Those are the victories that add up to a new lifestyle! You must have felt great about it!

HEATHER, as always, I loved your “blathering”. Please, blather at will.

Folks, I’m still not able to keep up with you!! I scan thru here when I can, and mostly post on what was the Old Hens – with the mostly over 40 crowd. I miss you guys, and I’m glad if I can pop in once in a while, but I still get pretty overwhelmed, and I’m always sorry that there are so many people I can’t respond to.

I finally went back to a doc today and went back on some meds to get myself under control. He was pleased to see that I’d actually lost weight since I was with him before. (I was pleased, too.) Actually, when the nurse went to weigh me, she had looked at my chart and put the weights up at the 300+ mark. I was glad that the first thing I could do was knock that big weight back down to the 250+ mark. It reminded me of how far I HAVE come, even if I’m struggling now. It was like getting to start the race and win part of the prize before the starting pistol even went off. Knowing that I have that extra support now, I came out of the office wanting to squeal with delight! – I’m ON MY WAY!

Yes, I’m on my way AGAIN, but what’s the point to a journey if you get on a non-stop flight? So I’ve had a few layovers – so what? It doesn’t mean there aren’t deluxe accommodations when I DO reach my final destination.

SO, after the docs office I stopped off at the produce market on the way home. I SWEAR, THIS time I WILL eat those 3 cucumbers before they go bad. <BG> No more excuses – I have good food, I can MAKE time to exercise, and I have my 3FC support group. And NOW, while I need a little extra help, I have some mild meds to keep me from straying until better habits take hold.

I wish everyone success and the confidence of more success today.

Toofat-When I have had depressive episodes in the past and been put on medication, it was just a mess. Anti-depressants just don’t work for me. They tried Prozac once, and I practically had a psychotic break. That doesn’t mean that I don’t believe in medicine to treat it. I always suggest talking to your doctor. Depression isn’t just being sad, it is potentially life-threatening. It is a disorder of blood chemistry just like diabetes is. No one feels shameful about having to go to the doctor for insulin. That being said, I know the meds can be expensive. Mine is mild enough to be controlled with diet, exercise, and vitamins and supplements. When I went through one a couple of months ago what yanked me out is increasing my ginseng and ginkgo. I take the ginkgo and turmeric for the brain injury, and have found that treating that helps with the depression. If you don’t have a doctor, you can call the local mental health clinic. Most places in the US have the 211 information service for this kind of stuff. Just dial 211, and tell them you are depressed, and they can give you the numbers to call to get help.

I got my pants suit cut out yesterday. I was going to do a Mandarin collar for the jacket, but decided at the last minute to go with a lapel-less one. It’s a kind of shiny grey. I hope it will be dressy enough for the actual ceremony where the dress is listed as business attire with decorations. It doesn’t get formal until the dinner that evening. He promised me after the wedding gown, that I wouldn’t have to wear any more dresses. He lied. I have been reconsidering the gown. I’m actually thinking about this pattern for a long, mid calf length, formal jacket instead. It’s kind of Chinese looking. I could wear pants under it, and the fabric I bought for the gown would work fine with it. I don’t know yet what I’m going to do. I might actually get more use out of a formal pants suit than I would the gown. Anyway, off to work.

heather yes i am on some medicne about 40 miligrams of paxil.

thanks for advice catherine i will check into that.

patty -- I second catherine on seeing a doc again. Maybe the paxil isn't working and there's something else to try (lots of new meds on the market). I also know that exercise can help and perhaps diet, but don't know details on those...

Val -- I always love seeing your posts. You have come far! Anyone who loses a substantial portion of their starting body weight and keeps it off is a success already!

As for reading nutrition books, that's a great idea. I feel coming here everyday helps me a LOT!