Just a quick goodnight all - late here - almost midnight. I really need to be in bed. But wanted to say Happy Birthday Mindy! Thank goodness for EZ or we'd never know these things :-) Heck I forgot my own sister's birthday, husband's birthday AND wedding anniversary this month. They fall across three days. You'd think I'd get that!?

Blonde - you have my sympathy, completely. I want to kick your neighbor's shins for you! Why do some people take favors for granted? It's just rude!

Leukemia - that IS a scary word for them to be tossing around. Again, though, cross that bridge if you get to it. Are you researching on your own? Some of the symptoms you describe could fit the leukemia label - but so could something like chronic fatigue syndrome. It won't do any good to scare yourself. It could be a lot of things at this time. We're all here to at least virtually hold your hand - it's funny how I go through the day and thoughts of all of you pop in my head!

EZ - now you have to stop working so hard. Embarassing the rest of us GRIN! Well except Mindy - I do believe you two run rings around me, for sure.

Okay - about to turn into a pumpkin. Bye now!

Oh PS - Dutch - yes, agreed. Of course - swimming! When we get back from our trip East I'm going to look into the Y near us and see if I can afford it. That would be the best solution I think for me.

Bobble-haha thanks.. No I haven't done much research since my symptoms are so general that when I did a search a ton of results popped back up and no use scaring myself with possible things that might be wrong with me..I'll do the research when I have an actual diagnosis.

The person I was dog sitting for didn't get back into town until 8 o clock last night and didn't leave until 8:30pm. I felt a bit sorry for her actually- she told me some things that happened on her trip like she lost her keys and she couldn't leave since her car keys were on the key ring and she had to go back and retrace her steps and she finally found them on the ground somewhere I guess plus she seemed a bit upset with her husband as well. I was and still am irritated because she told me that her husband refused to come for absolutely no reason that I know of and get the dog when it would have made things much easier on her and on me as well. That was what upset me a bit plus her stopping off and having a impromptu meeting with a reunion committee is what it was apparently which lasted two hours which then got her stuck in a major city with major traffic at traffic hour. She did ask me how the dog had been and I told her the truth nicely that he had refused to go outside to do his business pretty much the whole time. I didn't tell her that her baby even tried to nip at me once when I picked him up to force him to go outside and I didn't tell her that he also peed a huge puddle on my couch seat cushion on purpose. And I just said he wouldn't eat as well. She did seem very thankful and did actually give me a nice coffee mug that is from the city where her trip was and it had some goodies in it which I didn't eat since I don't need them and they're in the trash unfortunately. So I really did appreciate that. But I don't think I will be doing this again since I couldn't get set times out of her and I like having set times or at least some idea of possible times for a specific day- not oh it might be late Saturday night then it's sunday morning or early afternoon oh now it's going to be sunday night etc etc...I sure enjoyed my evening after they left though last night! Now I can get back to my regular routine.

Anyways have a great day and let's have a good start to the week everyone!

Holy Cow!! first thing this morning scale said 196. As if that wasn't good enough, a little later it said 195.6. Can you believe it?? these are numbers I've waited for a long time. I'm sure it will go up at some point, but man it sure was nice to see.

Then.... I noticed my size 12 jeans wer getting loose. I went out today to try size 12's. THEY FIT!!! I am going to bask in the glory for a while.

Gary- With a little hard work you can be back below that red line by that date. C'mon. You can do it.

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes. It has been fun.

Mindy, those are great numbers - keep it up!

Where is everybody?

All busy, I guess. I just had to rescue us from page 2!

Mtiger-Wow good for you!

I just got back from having some pampering done at the hair salon. I REALLY needed it. I feel like a new person to say the least plus I am so relaxed now. I didn't realize how tense and anxious I was. I love my new haircut too. It looks a bit more professional and grown up and just polished in general. I think it will be wowing some people at the conference I have to go to for work at the end of this month hopefully. I'm hoping to go for a small walk tonight when it cools down. Have a great day!

And ditto on Dutchgirl- where is everyone?

lately i have been feeling like i have been doing this weight loss thing is for someone else instead of me. when i exercise i feel like i am just going through the motions just to say that i did it. i hope this feeling passes quickly because i really want this for me.

Today the scale said 195.2. Seems to good to be true, but I will enjoy it while it lasts. You all know how my queer body works.

Brit- How nice. Some pampering. That would be so fun.

Mrsauggie- Sometimes we do it just because we are supposed to. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. Try to enjoy.

HI TEAM ~

Sorry I haven't posted much I have been here and am keeping up with the reading though. I was so busy the last few weeks and it seems like every day I sit down here in the family room with the ballgames on all I do is "play" on 3FC with the one-liner threads....thinking I will catch up later with my TEAM and my ENCOURAGERS....

My weight is holding steady at 182 which is still above my red line...and all because I do nothing about it!

I don't change anything....I don't do worse and I don't do better....dang....for example last night Angie was out of town so I was going to order a pizza...thought better of it and made some chili since I had the hamburger, beans, onion, powder, Ro-Tel tomatoes and red pepper...so, what's the problem? Well I threw in some chips to dip it out of my bowl with...stupid-stupid-stupid...

With the kids all gone we have a ton of freakin' spoons!

To make matters worse I ordered the pizza tonight since Angie won't be home until later....dang....it isn't here yet so my plan is to be sensible on the portions.

MINDY ~ With summer here and more free time, I bet you can take that '95 down a notch or two!

MRSAUGIE ~When I was on a roll losing the weight I was sure a lot more excited about it....I am giving you a push to get you on that roll!

BRAT ~ You deserve to be pampered after all you have been through the last few months with work/illness/new house and your mom!

DUTCHGIRL ~Thanks for the rescue! I am glad the trip was as good as it could be for you

BOBBLEFROG ~FYI if you go to the bottom of the community forum page there will be a the list of the birthdays each day Sometimes I remember to look! Is the weather getting better for you there yet?

JULES ~ SUPER J ~ MANDY ~ KAT....I hope all is well

Thanks guys.. it's funny how you work so hard or go through difficult things and don't ever stop to realize it and that you deserve a bit of a break and that you need to take care of yourself. I am realizing in a lot of ways I don't take care of myself due to money and time plus I have been so tired this year. But that needs to change I realized today. I'm looking at re-vamping my budget such as not going out to eat so much so I can take care of myself and pamper myself a little bit every month or so since my husband would much rather me feel good about myself and have me feeling like I do look nice as opposed to going out to eat plus it would be much healthier as well. He has lost close to 12 pounds himself in the past couple of months as well with us trying to cut back. I also finally got to talk to my mom today for the first time in close to 3 weeks which is a long time for us :-). With me sleeping so much lately by the time I think about calling her I know it's too late in the day and she does much better early in the day herself then plus she's also been out of town as well on and off so we've been playing email and phone tag. It was just really good to finally talk to her and fill each other in on just things that have gone on. I'll be seeing her on Thursday and also picking up a surprise house warming gift my grandmother left at her house for me.

We just got back from a small 20 minute walk with the dogs. Still very warm outside but bearable and people are out walking now themselves and their dogs as well. We are working on training our dogs on how to walk properly. Anyways have a great night!

I am such a dork. I keep posting my weight as 195, not 185. I instantly put on 10 pounds I guess. I still can't seem to get my head around the fact that I am in the 180's. I was 186.6 today, up a bit, but okay. I don't ever want to see the 190's again. PLEASE!!!

Going out with my family for birthday dinner tonight. I am going to eat smart. Imcertainly don't want to blow this now. Talk to ya all later.

Mindy-LOL..

Well I'm back from my specialist appointment. It was sort of a waste of my time I feel in a way- I didn't get a diagnosis but I do know some of the things I do not have. He asked me all sorts of random questions about exposure to toxins, chemicals, possible animal body fluids. He asked if I had excessive bird poop in my yard etc.. LOL. That was a question I wasn't expecting to be sure. He asked me about where I had lived and if I had been out of the country in the past year etc. My answers to everything were all no. He basically concluded that I do not have some weird virus or weird infection or lupus or cancer or etc. He said I may have to feel this way for a couple of years and perhaps even get sicker with new and more symptoms to be given a diagnosis. He definitely thinks whatever I have is chronic but I will live. The quality of my life is what's up in the air. He didn't want to run more tests since apparently my PCP doctor has already been very thorough. He thought it was very interesting for some reason- he didn't say why and said that it's possibly related to whatever I have about how I told him how rapidly I gained the extra 85 pounds that I carry on me now. But he pretty much doesn't know what's wrong either. So I'm pretty frustrated now. I then called my mom to tell her about the appointment and had to go through an interrogation and then she latched onto the idea of how my weight is the cause of everything which both of those dr's said NO it's not. When I told her we had already discussed that and they said no it wasn't she flat out indicated to me that her opinion was more important and told me she disagreed with TWO DOCTORS which is a bit arrogant in my opinion especially with how she expressed it. Needless to say I kind of changed the subject after that. So today has not been a very good day at all. I also didn't much like the specialist. I tried to tell him some things and he kept cutting me off and asking me more weird and random questions and changing the subject on me and seemed very focused on the fever I had had and declared it heat exhaustion since the fever did start after a day that I was outside pretty much all day with the kids at my job and now it is gone which that makes sense but pretty much ignored explaining the persistent fatigue and body aches I've had since October. It was sort of like he didn't really want to hear it. So I'm not sure if I'll go get a second opinion or what. I'm going to be calling my PCP and asking him now what and telling him that I felt that I did not get to tell this specialist all of my symptoms and things I had noticed that might be important like I've noticed that my hair has seemed to get thinner in the past month or so and I already have pretty fine hair. It's not coming out in clumps or anything but still..I just would like to know if that's a side effect from all of the antibotics I've been on or what. I would also like to have some guidelines on what I'm supposed to do for now. Do I quit my job and not be around small children due to their germs or do I just rest and sleep all the time as much as possible or what..I don't really see how I'm going to be able to continue on with working full time and also doing part time college which is really upsetting to me since I just don't have the energy to do both. So all I know is I don't have eptstein barr syndrome or some other viruses he rattled off, I don't have any cancers, I don't have lupus. I just couldn't believe his attitude at times. He actually said that I would just have to bear with this for a couple of more years before I get diagnosed with something and that I would be back to see him. I interpreted that to mean get sicker and worse in order to get a diagnosis and some days with how badly I already feel that thought of being worse kind of scares me since some days I can hardly get out of bed due to me being so stiff and achy and having no energy and my husband has to help me out of bed and into the shower. I just felt like he was doing the bare minimum consult for my PCP doctor. This is getting long sorry but I'm very frustrated today.

I hope someone has had a better day than me. I would love to hear if anyone had a great day or got some good news or etc.

MINDY ~ I was wondering! I noticed it on the last few posts and was going to mention that I thought you made a mistake...but...knowing better! I just thought if she is happy with 195 WHY in the WORLD woud I want to mess with it! Have a great birthday dinner.

BRAT ~How frustrating your day was! Hugs....all I can say is keep researching and get another opinion if you can! I do know that people have issues that just are not diagnosed...and some finally, years later. Prayers for answers!

Hey All!
I've been feeling really complain-y lately... and didn't want to be negative... but I got some GREAT news today! It's been 2 weeks back on Weight Watchers, and I've lost 6lbs! (So I'm down to 158.8!) lol... So I went ahead and ate manacotti, macaroni and cheese, a bagel and cream cheese, and some Harry and David candy today... Tomorrow will be balanced...

Anyhoo-- the OTHER good news I got was the music for a summer camp I attend/am part of the student-staff, and the music is INCREDIBLE!!! It's a lot of Beatles and 70's/80's music.... It's like this year was custom-made for me!!! The camp is in mid-july... and I don't know how I'm going to be able to concentrate on learning music for work when I have this FUN music to work on!!! (I'm sure I'll manage... but still... )

I also got some good news about Tumor Markers from Seattle Cancer Care-- I'm all in the ranges for "normal", so things are looking good on that front so far!

All around happy news from everything

I hope everyone else is having an equally amazing day!!!

P.S. Blondebritbrat: I just read your post-- I'm so sorry to hear that everything is getting so frustrating!! I'm sending Good Doctor Vibes your way I hope everything can get figured out!!!

Yay Kat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morning team! Oh Blonde I am so sorry to hear the specialist was such a putz! I was hoping you would have a better experience than that. I am always putting my two-cents in so I'm not sure I told you about my experience in my 20's with a "mystery disease". Long story short I spent months going to specialists and scaring myself silly with believing it was fatal (same thing LUPUS, HIV, etc.). In my case it was stress!! Glad I was on health insurance then but that experience was what started souring me on "western" meds. But I never want to taint anyone else's experience as I also have a dad and a client who survived cancer thanks to allopathic approaches.

That said - it sounds like you might be forced into looking into alternative approaches. If nothing else it will give you some control and not just have to sit and wait. Herbalism, accupuncture, massage, homeopathy, nutrition - even energy work (I know that is way out there - akin to laying on of hands - but technically accupuncture is energy work, too - with the invisible "chi" or life force and that is getting the nod finally from our American doctors) are all options and have been demonstrated to be effective. European countries are much more open to these things than we are.

I am glad you've ruled out all the "scary maybe fatal" things!

Some things will cost of course - like accupuncture and a good nutritional or homeopathic consultation however many of these things are considered "the people's medicine" and there is wide acceptance of researching your own symptoms and working "out of your backyard" for lack of a better term. Homeopathics and herbals can be inexpensive and the information you need is all readily available from library books and often online.

Okay - off my soapbox now!!! Just want to help and that's the best I know to offer :-)

I'm off and on plan here! Guess I have gotten my head so into the next phase of our service rollout that - well - I guess I'm one of these people that gets into (and obsessively) one thing at a time. I haven't been bad, exactly, but I haven't been exercising and haven't cut back on my food either. And my BF has been keeping us in yummy meals - things like crabcakes and sashimi. Last week didn't lose and don't expect to this week either. But if I don't gain I'll consider it a hiatus.

Today have been good and counting the calories again. I don't want to lose steam at just 18 lbs lost. Kicks in the butt are welcome!!!! Thank you thank you dutchgirl!

Mindy - that's great! I wasn't following the numbers closely - how funny! I had a hard time thinking of myself out of the 90's. But pretty much having only lost three lbs the last month I guess I now am familiar with the 180s even if it's high. Sigh!

And weegreen was glad to hear you can heave a sigh of relief too - and CONGRATS ON YOUR LOSS! WEEHA FOR WEEGREEN!

It's going to get crazy next week as I prepare for our trip back east. Kitty has had a rough few days. Scraping pennies to make everything happen. If I don't pop in too often don't worry 'bout me. I will be in and out and reading (lurking?).

Super J - let us know you are doing okay! Everyone else HELLLOOOOOO! I know mrsaugie wrote something but I can't find the last post now...grrr. Look forward to more motivation EZ, thanks for all your enthusiasm. Keeps me going. And Hugs to all!