I found eating from a smaller plate just gave me an excuse to go for seconds...thirds...

I just made and enjoyed a salad with tuna for lunch. I really enjoyed it! Why did I stop making that? Have I gained this weight simply because I got too lazy?

I walked to the local library and back home again this morning - 45 minute walk!

I planned my meals for the day when I got up, and so far I have stuck to them!

I feel on fire!!

Woo Lindor, you ARE on fire!!

And apparently so am I .... I'm down 2.1kg this week!

Pretty sure I mentioned about my friend's sister and her battle with cancer. She died late last night .

And this morning I heard the news about that 16-year-old American girl who is missing in the southern Indian Ocean. I followed Jessica Watson's blog as she sailed around the world, and I have been following Abby Sunderland's blog too - hope they find her, and that she's OK.

My book launch is in Melbourne tonight, and I won't be there. I made a choice last week to stay here and support my friend, because I knew her sister was close to the end. My co-writer will be there flying the flag for both of us.

I went about 300 calories over my goal yesterday, but its just a day. I'm not going to beat myself up over something like that - I'll just make better decisions today.

Lindor and Julia I meant to say *great job* to both of you . It might just be me but we seem to do better when we are working together!

Anyway, I need to replenish the pantry so I can keep my promise of making better food choices today.

Oh Ani I'm so sorry to hear such sad news. Big hugs to you mate

I totally agree, we do seem to do better when we're doing this together. For me, I find it really beneficial being able to come on this board and tell you all what I've been up to. It helps keep me accountable and that's useful for me.

Work's been manic today and I'm staying late to finish up. After that I need to stay longer to get some study done too!

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Ani, sorry about your sad news, I know you were having a hard time handling the situation too. :hugs:

My whole day has been screwed up thanks to some undesirable prick last night!

My dog woke me at 2am going off her head! I then realise all the dogs in the neighbourhood were going off as well! I heard a lot of thumping and banging outside, so got up and turned on some lights thinking it would deter someone if they were thinking of 'visiting'. For my own safety I did not go outside to investigate, and decided then that I'd at least wait until daylight before I took Mista outside (I usually take him out at 5.30am). I crawled back into bed, all lights still on, dogs still barking frantically outside, noises still occurring, and tried to fall back to sleep. When I did fall asleep I dreamt of people in my house wanting to hurt me! So it was a very fitful sleep at best!

At 6.30am I got up and took Mista outside and that was when I found his pen had been trampled and a bag of rubbish was left in his pen. I didn't touch anything and did a quick walk around the house and found a half full 2lt bottle of coke in the front yard and the fence (which is taller than me standing up!) had bowed obviously where the person had jumped it to enter my yard.

I then rang the police to report what I had discovered. After talking with them and confirming it was ok to try to fix Mistas damaged pen and dispose of the rubbish, I went back outside. When I went to move the bag of rubbish I discovered it wasn't rubbish but in fact a bag of personal belongings - clothes, cigarettes, lighter, etc. I didn't dig into the bag, but called the police back and informed them, they then wanted to drop by and have a look.

While here, they mentioned a car had been discovered crashed into a power pole a few blocks away and tentively linked that to what happened here - stolen vehicle, crashed, driver got out and ran using my yard as part of his escape route. Unfortunately for the intruder, the police discovered bag also contained prescription medications that contained a name and address...that was where the police decided their next stop was going to be.

Anyway, with my poor sleep over night, and having to attend another meeting with my manager at work at 9am, I was feeling pretty buggered by mid-morning, so on my way home I picked up a pie and cake from the local bakery, got home, ate and went to bed. I didn't wake up until 3pm!

So, screwed up diet, no walk (too buggered), and nothing planned for dinner tonight makes for a bad day for me! Ugh!!

Lindor don't let a bad day derail you from this journey - it's just a day. I had one of those yesterday, and I am determined to just put it behind me and move forward.

Gotta laugh at criminals who leave their name and address behind though

My housemate is going away for two weeks this afternoon. He is off on a 4-WD trip up north, and has bought himself one of those big campervans that is kitted out with everything including the kitchen sink. He reckons he is going to go for long walks every day, but the man weighs about 150kg, and gets out of breath just tying his shoelaces - so that will be interesting.

I don't have anything much planned for today - except pottering around, and doing a few domestics. But I will stick to my goals and make sure I don't lose my motivation for this journey.

uuummm hi lol i lost the plot again.. surpirise surprise but im back.. i have weighed myself but as of yet and not ready to share.. my stupidity.. so lets just say .. i have had 3 good day calorie wise.. but have no time to excercise or much time for anything else becuase im running my mil.. lolly shop while she is away ( not been a good thing for the waist line ) .
but im ready to crawl back on the wagon and at least watch what i eat until i get my life back and can rejoin the gym classes. so hi.

Welcome back Amy! Don't worry, we had a mass falling off of wagons, so you'll fit right back in!!

Ani, sorry to hear about your friend's sister, how terrible.

Julia, well done! That's awesome for a week!!

I had a hiccup yesterday and ate a whole block of chocolate, but just tried to minimize the rest of the day and came in about 300 cals over target.. so back on the wagon today.

I did make some nice turkey burgers with low fat turkey mince and chopped up zucchini, peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, onion. They look yum and will have a couple for lunch shortly.

Welcome back Amy - we have all fallen off that dreaded wagon, and are all here trying to clamber back on, so you're in great company

Gen, I've done that before - stuffed up my calorie count with chocolate or potato chips.

I just rang in sick. I'm feeling sad about my friend's sister dying, and I told work the truth - that I'm feeling sad, not sick, and if any customer annoyed me today I would be likely to give them a mouthful. They were fine about it actually.

I'm not going to do much at all today - just sit around the house, watch some AFL on TV, potter around…

Stuck pretty well to my goals yesterday - now just have to do it again . Weigh-in tomorrow!

I had a bad, BAAAAD day yesterday! Ate way too much! WAY TOO MUCH!!!

I don't know what triggered it...boredom maybe?

I felt like a beached whale by the end of the day and had the most uncomfortable nights sleep last night!!

I feel like I can't stop this! I eat! But for what reason? Certainly not because I am hungry!

I have got up in a foul mood today, mainly because of my behaviour yesterday. So far, whenever I think of eating something today, I get up totally p!ssed off that I could even think of eating, give myself a massive verbal blasting, grab whatever it is I am thinking about eating, march outside with it and throw it in the bin! If I keep this up my cupboards are going to be bare by lunchtime!!

I can't seem to find that medium! That place between not eating anything at all and that place where I eat everything that is not nailed down!

You'd think after losing 30kg I might have retained just a small amount of 'know how' with losing weight. But in all honesty, I feel like I am further out of control than where I was before I lost that 30kg!

I don't know that I can do this anymore. I just don't feel capable.

Yet here I am, spilling my guts to you guys, hoping it might give me that bit of strength (fueled by the humilition of admitting my failures) to at least make it through the next hour without screwing it all up again!

And so I continue to try...again...

Lindor, what did you eat yesterday? I know I just can't have certain things in the house, because I cannot control myself with them. I constantly think about them until I eat them, or I eat it all "so it's finished" and I won't be able to eat it.. logical, huh? So anyhow, if you don't have "bad" things in the house, you can't eat them when you get that "head hunger".

I've been reading a lot of stuff lately about "emotional eating" and there's a lot of info out there to help with it. We all know that sudden, overwhelming desire to shove things in our faces isn't due to physical hunger. We just know it will "make me feel better", without ever knowing what is making up feel bad.

It's tricky alright. If someone can figure that out, a lot of the obesity issue would be fixed.

I'm constantly feeling like eating as Mum is so bad now, she's really in pain almost all of the time, even with huge doses of pain meds. It's awful to hear your mum moaning and groaning and pain (and you're a nurse!) and you can't really help. I think she'll have to go into the palliative care unit next week to see if they can switch meds around and get her comfortable again. I am torn.. I hate seeing her like this, but I don't want to lose her, and at the same time I can't wait to get back to my life because this really sucks. Ugh.

Hi

Hey Vonni, been wondering how your week went. Did you get moved? Is everything OK?

Lindor I agree with Gen. We all binge, and we all struggle to understand ourselves at those times. It's a little like finding a needle in a haystack, trying to find the trigger that causes us to do it, but maybe it's worth having a plan in place to overcome those times - and Gen's idea about not having certain food in the house is a good one. I can't have potato chips in the house, because I will eat the whole packet once I open it. So I just don't buy them.

I also keep sugar-free chewing gum on hand, because that helps me at times when I just want something in my mouth. And I make deals with myself - things like "Yes, I can have that as long as I drink a bottle of water first"… and sometimes it's the delaying that stops me from doing it at all.

I don't know the psychology behind it but I suspect it is similar to smoking addiction, or anything else that gets hold of us. We overeat/binge because it numbs, avoids, nurtures, reinforces, comforts… and it's a form of instant gratification.

Gen is your mum at home? It's just awful what she, and your family are going through. I think about you very often. It's just terrible, trying to balance the urge to want the pain to end for her, and not wanting her to ever leave you .

I had a good result on the scales - down 1.1kg . I do think it is still some water weight leaving me, but I will take any good result at the moment. The plan for this week is to try and get some consistency happening. Over the last two weeks I have had good and bad days, and I would like to get into a better routine, make some better food choices, and work through some of my own issues. Or at least to make a start on that…

106.4kg

Thanks Ani, that's sweet. They ended up calling yesterday and had a bed, so we took her into the palliative care unit today. Talked to the doc and he's going to add something and change the meds around a bit so hopefully she'll get better pain control without being so dopey and confused.

I was out early this morning and forgot to weigh in, so I'll update tomorrow. Strangely enough, I actually *feel* like going for a walk today, so might get off my arse and do that.