KC, glad you're doing well.

Jessica, that's a great trend! You clearly are doing something right!

I had a terrible, horrible, no good very bad food Friday and Saturday. It's weird, I feel like I have a dual personality. One part of me chooses healthy foods in appropriate portions and loves to exercise. And then another part of me eats McDonald's (Yikes!), gives in to lame excuses to not exercise, and eats bread pudding for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

I've tried getting rid of a perfectionist mentality, I've tried visualizing how I'll feel if I eat junk, I've tried visualizing how good I felt at my low weight last summer and how good I'll feel when I'm there again, I've tried tracking my food, I've tried changing my carb types and amounts.....you know what I haven't actually tried is sticking like glue to a reasonable plan for more than 3-4 days in a row. I'm kind of tired of myself and my attitude right now. But there's only one way to change it. So if you all can stomach me saying one more time: This time I am ON it! I will make it happen with good choices. The food I eat counts positively or negatively toward my health and my goals. I will kill my excuses (unless my kids are my excuses, then I will just find a way to make exercise and good food happen anyway).

Yesterday was very good foodwise. I resisted Twix, burritos 2 times!!, and donuts. So that's something.

DH went to the store yesterday while I was on call at the hospital. He bought fruit and greek yogurt (yay!) but he also bought muffins (boo!) and other foods that are not really great choices for me right now. BUT, I am the only one who puts food in my mouth. It is MY choice and in MY control and I will MAKE it happen.

Okay, I feel better now!

Jessica - that is a very nice, sustainable looking trend you've got there. Congratulations.

Midwife - you could come Becking with Bill Blue Eyes, me and some very nice others. Cognitive behavioural therapy, you know. The Jekyll and Hyde business sounds very tiring.

I'm trying to get back on an even keel. This week, I'm focusing on only eating when sitting down.

Hello, All! VG to know you're there.

Midwife, I feel exactly like this sometimes! I have tried to figure out some happy medium that works for me, and just haven't figured it out yet. I'm either on or off, healthy and reasonable or McDonalds and bread pudding, just like you. I've tried many different approaches, and haven't found one yet that's worked long-term... so I can't offer advice, just understanding. And support! Go you! I will be on too!

I still haven't decided "where I am" right now. I'm at the point (where I've been many times before) where I've had my week of relaxing a bit after the play performance and weightlifting tournament. I feel like I should get back "on" the strict wagon but also feel as if, what's the point, I'm just going to fall off again in a week or two. But what is that... I'm going to eat healthy, reasonable portions, go to the gym after work despite afternoon sleepies, get plenty of water and rest... b/c I'm not giving up!

Jessica, I'm glad the scale is moving in the right direction!

Kitty, hope you have a speedy recovery!

I had a friend whose boyfriends called her "puddle". She didn't know where it came from. Their break-up was unrelated to the nickname.

everyone, I'm sending lots of and and for the week!

Midwife and Megan, have you ever tried planning to be off plan? I try to get the elusive balance between OP and off by planning to have one night per week (sometimes one whole day) be totally off plan. I find that it's easier to stay on plan on Friday if I know that Saturday I will be allowed to eat junk food. So it would just be like expanding your current 3-4 days OP to 5-6 days OP, and then having that last 1-2 days of off-plan eating be, well, on plan. Personally I am incapable of sticking to a strict plan EVERY day. 5 days is hard enough.

SB, it is exhausting. Maybe I will look into Beck, cause it really does come back down to my behaviors.

Megan, yes, let's keep on and never give up!

Jessica, I have successfully used the concept of a cheat day in the past. My trainer is a huge believer in a cheat day due to metabolic benefits, but I really learned to appreciate the psychological benefits. There really are "sometimes" foods and the cheat day (which I call "free day") kind of pushed me to keep those foods to really one time a week. I honed it down to a "free meal" once I stopped losing last summer to try to get into the 140s, but I really was able to sit at 153-157 with a free day each week. Thank you for the thought. I agree that if I plan to include my free day again, I'll be better armed to avoid those "sometimes" foods that seem to be around every day, and if I still want them on Saturday, then I can have them then.

Yesterday was POP day #2. Yay! And after the Sat/Sun fiasco, the scale is down a full 5 lbs from Sunday morning. It's impressive how much the scale can fluctuate for me. Of course, I'm back where I was 2 weeks ago rather than being ahead of the game....

Midwife - I'm with you on the dual personality. Mine doesn't go for McD as much as ice cream and the Easter candy that my mom finally brought me this weekend... It is the same part that talked me out of running on Sunday because I had taken an accidental ten minute nap and woke up grumpy.



or if that helps more.

Well, today I did and, foodwise, things just went downhill.

I've suddenly found myself being sounded out/head-hunted for a bit of research by someone down the corridor. A chance meeting in the kitchen at lunchtime led to my lunch on hold and a cup of coffee in his office to paint a fuller picture. (BTW, how he has managed to sum up my abilities based on a few sentences exchanged over 12 months is v interesting to me. Possibly years of experience as a bank manager. But I digress.)

So coffee, meeting, lunch, then off to collect the DB (10 in May). And a Major Debriefing about his morning welcoming Her Majesty the Queen at the local railway station. High octane thrills. Exhausting to a caffeine-exhausted woman.

Led to, let's say, inappropriate food choices and further exhaustion. (In mitigation, I did do a heavy weights session this morning.)

Now in bed. Tomorrow is another day. I'm hoping for a fairly dull one. I'm putting this down to caffeine rather than that I can't take excitement anymore ...

SB, when you're recovered, I'd love a debriefing on the whole Queen experience too!!

POP day 3! Yippee!

Silver, for some reason I am surprised that the Queen travels by rail!

Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas Queen, Defender of the Faith (and rather a lot of other titles too) visited our area a few days ago.

The entire school (c. 150) went to the station to welcome the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh. They were among the first to arrive, one of the headteachers had gone down early to ‘reserve’ a place. Children from several other schools were also there but not in such force. (Our school has a uniform with ties and blazers so the children look very smart and are always invited to welcome members of the Royal Family.) The tinies (aged about 3) looked like animals in a zoo behind the crush barriers so one of the security men asked whether they’d like to move to just where Her Maj was going to come out of the station. Escort motorbikes, the Queen’s maroon Bentley State Limousine, the only one in the world, the Lord Lieutenant (pronounced here ‘left-tenant’), sundry other Lords and Ladies (one positively identified by my in-house sleuth by his car registration number), the local Mayor and Mayoress. These two gave our school a wave as they went past as they’d been there for a talk and sing-song (Long way to Tipperary, She’ll be coming round the mountain, etc) last week. Etc etc. Far too many flags.

The Royal Train went through the station and came back in so Her Maj could get out on the nearest platform. (Eight coaches, engine on both ends.) Mad polishing of Royal Limo and police motorcycles by drivers and riders.

HM met the dignitaries and then came out. Great cheers and flag-waving from the assembled royalists. My informant tells me: ‘She was looking lovely. Really lovely. She was looking in the peak of health. She was wearing a pink suit. The driver was carrying her pink umbrella and handbag. She had on black leather gloves and boots. And a pink hat. She gave us all that little wave. She grinned at us all.’ The next day he told me: ‘So I saw the Queen and she was looking really lovely. … She knows how to keep her hair clean. She’s got the same hairstyle as Granny.’ (Note: Granny is slightly older than HM by a few months.)

The Duke of Edinburgh came out and spoke to the tinies: ‘Which school are you from? Why have you been asked to stand here? Are you the cleanest?’

Then the Royal Party all piled into the cars and drove off. Apparently, the Lord Lieutenant and co got into a silver minibus – slightly less good than the Royal Limo.

I happened to see the retinue as I came out of the gymn. The car with the Royal Standard looked very fine indeed, just set off by a couple of motorcycle outriders.

So, hurray. All very thrilling. The DB has now welcomed Prince Charles (the Prince of Wales and heir apparent) twice and the Queen once. He’s not 10 until next month.

Most interestingly, none of we British parents went to the station (natural reticence? weren't invited? blase?). An American mother went and reported that it was better than meeting the President. ... I suppose hereditary monarchy goes back a bit. Interesting to see what happens with all that breeding and cross-breeding.

Shannon, love your excuse not to run. Sounds exactly like me, even when a run would be PERFECT therapy for whatever is plaguing me!

SB, thanks for the detailed review! The Royals have always been fascinating to lots of us on this side of the pond. I remember getting the "Princess Di" haircut when I was 8 or so. And then I read a novel that was set during the time when the English conquered Wales and was quite put out with the English for awhile. Funnily, my own ancestry is Scottish (and Swedish).

Anyway, my heart melted at the thought of all of those little ones in their ties and blazers, especially the 3 year olds!! Too darn cute!

Yesterday was OP, not POP, I had about a quarter cup of spaghetti noodles that I hadn't planned on....The car broke down so I was stressed. But it fit in my overall calories for the day, and was much better than when I usually stress eat. Scale is the same today as yesterday. The plan is to do some heavy lifting today, so there could be a bop in the scale the next 2 days....however it won't be due to food!

I rocked the Princess Di cut in my elementary school years, too!

Trying not to eat 2 afternoon snacks. I need to decompress not make the tea. OK, reframing slightly, I need to decompress THEN make the tea.

Just back from a school concert. Someone I haven't seen for a while asked me if I'd been shrinking again. I said I supposed I had, a bit, and that something had happened to my face. She agreed and said 'and your shoulders' and gave one a bit of a shake through my anorak. Bit boney. But they've always been narrow so I don't know.

Silver, thanks for the review! Step away from the snacks!

I'm postponing today's planned strength workout. Tuesday's kicked my butt (well, my quads anyway), and then I went and did a 10 mile bike ride yesterday. I can barely walk. Hopefully I can get the strength workout in tomorrow or Saturday!

POP yesterday! Woot!

And.... I ate my healthy OP dinner and then went to a meeting where I forgot people were bringing food. It was yummy and healthy choices prepared with love by good friends. BUT, I already ate dinner, and just because something is yummy and healthy doesn't mean I should eat it just because it is there. So I didn't! And I passed on dessert, which was also yummy appearing and made with love, but probably not so healthy.