635...

So I did okay today and I don't feel hungry. I also don't really believe it and am worried I missed something in my calorie tally....

Exercise
Calorie Deficit

634...

Today is the same story as yesterday. Doing so well that I am convinced I missed something in the tally.

The number of days countdown total today is lower than the total set at the Great Reset on the first of the month. As small as it is, it is progress. In addition, I am having a quiet victory with night time eating. For the last week or so, I haven't eaten after 9:00 pm. Of course, I have no idea what changed. I do hope this continues.

Last night, I started to feel hungry as I started going to sleep. When I didn't get a snack, I would alternate between feeling hungry and feeling nauseated. So weird, yet, so typical of me.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit

633...

Doing okay today which is great! I feel hungry at times but am able to make a good choice food wise or to tell myself to wait. Read an interesting suggestion regarding calorie counting geared toward later in the day eaters like I am. The idea was to start your calorie count later in the day. Instead of counting starting at midnight, start counting at 4:00 pm. Then count to 4:00 pm the following day. I may try this. It is definitely easier for me to eat less earlier in the day.


Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs

632...

This has just felt like a busy week. Lots of "can't forgets" (parent teacher conference, car repair, late skating appointment, hair appointment, special dinner tomorrow) this week. I'm also trying to book a vacation with a friend. Things are booking faster than we can make decisions. Is the pandemic over?

I'm adding sleep to my daily update. I'm not really happy with how it looks just yet. I've also decided to add a reflection of where I was a year ago. In the end, I may not like this much. Last year at this time, I thought I had 670 days left. So in 365 days, I only took off 38 days from my journey. Hmm- I don't like that much at all. I knew I was doing badly these last few months but I hadn't realized it was that bad.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 7 hours total- 1 hour nap, 6 hours overnight, wide awake and snacking at 2 AM

One year ago....

633...

Today was an annual celebration dinner and surely I am over. Here's the thing though, I felt full after the meal. Fabulous! After previous celebrations with the same dinner, I felt starving despite the copious amount of food. So although today is a wash, that (feeling full) is a huge non-scale victory for me!

Exercise
Calorie Overage
Sleep 7 hours total

One year ago...

632...

Did great today but it is probably not enough to salvage the month. Since Sunday is so close to the start of May, I am going to see if I want to use tomorrow's weight.

I went ice skating again today. Usually, I go with an empty stomach. Today, I went after dinner and definitely felt more sluggish. I am concerned I may be exercising beyond my exercise tolerance. I've had worse post-exertional malaise than typical. I wish I could remember what I doing pre-pando. I think I was drinking something specific after exercise sessions but simply cannot remember. Unfortunately, I did not take good notes. Maybe it will pop up in one of the one year ago reflections I have been including lately.

I have already backed down to three (was four) rec center visits a week. I may have to go back to only two skating sessions a week instead of three. I hope not though; I have been really enjoying it.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 7 hrs

One year ago...

633...

A typical Sunday, I am over calorie wise. It is easy to do without any exercise to off-set anything. I was and have been really sluggish lately and disengaged. It's not a great way to be. I've been trying to get more rest but it is rarely restorative.

I gained 1.5 lbs this month and have adjusted my CW accordingly to -22.5 lbs from 24 lbs. Me, myself and I talk about this a lot. At this point, I am just not sure what to say. I am unable to control my eating. I simply cannot do it right now. I have tried so many things. I am going to see if calorie counting from 6pm-6pm will work for me instead of counting the calories in a day. I am also hoping more rest will help.

Time to sign off an give myself a pep talk for tomorrow.

Rest
Calorie Overage
Sleep 8 hours total

One year ago....

632...

Well, I have turned up again like a bad penny. I kept two calorie tallies, one for a standard day and one for 6pm-6pm day. Overall, it doesn't seem to make much difference in the grand total. Tracking 6-6pm feels a bit harder with regards to keeping things straight. I do think that would get better with time. One thing I really like about the 6-6pm tracking, is it seems lessen the anxiety I have around food in the evening. That feels like a big plus and has potential. I would go to bed feeling better about the whole situation rather than yet again beating myself up for overeating.

By the by, me and I had an argument last night. Myself likes to stay out of it. Me won and we did eat the jelly beans.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs (but up 4 times)

= One year ago...
(New feature- know the code. "=" weight is the same as last year on this date, "-" weight today is lower than last year, "+" weight today is higher than last year, "*" is did not weigh on this day last year or did not weigh today)

631...

Although it feels like a pain, I think I am liking 6-6pm for my calorie counting window. It boosts my feelings of control and satisfaction in the evening. I don't have to go to sleep feeling like a failure. Failure is easier to face in the daylight. I also don't feel as anxious about food. I'll try it for a few more days to see how it goes.

Last night, I dug out my ketone test strips. The result was fantastic and showed I was on-track yesterday.

Work is extremely busy. I've given up trying to prioritize as I have at least 10 high priority things going. For time management, I am scheduling blocks of time to work on each one. That way they are all moving and if I have to speed it up for one of them, I will be able to.

To answer my own question from last year: No, I am not there yet.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs

*One year ago...

630...

So switching the time frame in which I count my calories is doing wonders! I really like being able to go to sleep with calories available in my "bank". Keeping within the limit seems so much more reasonable and I am not panicking each evening.

So that awkward silence before a teleconference, am I right? I've started trying to fill that awkward silence with random observations. It is ironic because I am not great at small talk. Being poorly skilled at small talk is in part the reason why I am trying to start conversations when we have a few extra minutes at the start of the meetings. For a while, I was using the weather but felt it was getting over done. So yesterday I brought up the fact that I had just seen a flock of pelicans. Pelicans are not indigenous or common to where I live. Once folks got past the weirdness of the topic, a nice conversation was had.

Today it was really quiet before the call. I was remaining silent because I wasn't sure what to bring up. I was trying to decide if the rainbow I saw yesterday was too weather related. Then someone mentioned how quiet it was. So I remarked, I think everyone is waiting to see if I will talk about pelicans again- hahaha. This triggered another nice conversation because people were talking about the social media posts they had seen about the pelicans. Hopefully, this all means my skills are improving.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 7 hrs

=One year ago...

629...

The one year look back is tough. I definitely worked at losing weight all year last year. How can I be at nearly the same weight? I am hoping it comes off faster now since it was already off once recently.

I remember reading once that it doesn't matter what you weigh tomorrow or a month from now. It matters what you weigh in a year. Basically it is allowing yourself enough time to make progress and offering a buffer from the daily ups and downs. So not great that I weigh pretty much the same as last year. At the end of the month, I'll redo my countdown since it should be pretty close to last year's number. ~Sigh, a whole year lost.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs

-One year ago...

628...

One a little bit of a roll so that feels good. Looking forward to continuing it and can hardly wait for it to translate to the scale.

No too long ago, I read an article where the author indicated if you pick carrots over chips because the carrots are healthier, you have an eating disorder. I thought that was a rather broad definition.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs

=One year ago...

627...

Still trying to figure what has changed between now and last year to be so out in the weeds. I am thinking it is likely age and hormonal changes that come with it. It is so frustrating to still have this excess weight. It is not for lack of trying. Starting a list of the things I have tried.

2021- CICO, exercising regularly
2020- fasting, CICO, exercising regularly
2019- supplements (for other issues not weight loss), CICO, fasting, exercise
2018- nutrition/lifestyle class, exercise

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs

+One year ago...

626...

I think I am on the right track. I'll need to give the scale a little more time to confirm if I am. For the record, the scale was unkind today and up from the beginning of the month (-21 vs. -22.5). So far, I am happy with counting calories from 5-5 (adjusted a little bit from the 6-6 window). Although, I am running into a bit of a challenge because I am eating too much once my new window opens. Today was tough but I made it.

LOL- I was going to write tomorrow will be really hard but I think I can make it. Hahaha- I totally forgot my new window opens at dinner time. The calories I have for tomorrow are for before dinner. Woot! Woot! I am on-track and should have no problem. Disclaimer of course- I may find a way to screw it up.
Right now, I am really elated at this realization.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs

+One year ago....

625...

Alright, so it seems totally obvious now. However, I didn't notice until I tried it (calorie counting from 5-5pm). It is much easier to be hungry for three hours (2-5 pm) than it is to be hungry for 12 hours when you are trying to sleep (8pm-8am).

I am still a little off balance with the evening to evening counting window but I think that will straighten itself out. Right now, I am eating more in the evenings. Today I had to be a little careful but I did save about a hundred calories to use for snacking between 3 and 5 pm.

It reminds me of a column I read a long, long time ago. There was a little girl with a weight problem and the mother kept restricting more and more food items. The girl kept finding ways around the restrictions and was gaining a lot of weight. The mother took the girl to a psychologist. The psychologist had the mother stop the restrictions. In addition, he told the mother to get the girl a pillowcase and to fill it with the girl's favorite candy. M&Ms in this case. The mother, although horrified, followed the psychologist's instructions which included refilling it if it got low.

For the first two weeks the girl took the pillowcase everywhere with her. Eventually, after about two weeks she stopped feeling the need to take it everywhere. Then gradually she ate less and less of the candy and was able to establish a healthy eating pattern. Finally, she abandoned the pillowcase of M&Ms altogether.

Exercise
Calorie Deficit
Sleep 8 hrs

--One year ago....