awww, I want a baby too Bep !! We could all get pregnant at the same time, that might be kind of cool, huh?? ( I agree Cristi that is one nasty smilie!)

anyway, Happy Birthday to your little boy!

Push mowers is hard work!! I use to have one and mowed my grandmothers lawn, this was years ago. I use to take care of a 5 acre complex one summer and mowed and weedeated the whole dang thing. I was awesome it is all about me, isn't it??? lol.........anywho,,,,,off to Traders Joes to get a salad!!

chat later!!

Thanks for such a wonderful welcome!
A little about me; I live in New York with my husband of 1 year and 3 months. She was 56.
We are TCCing but have not had much luck to do my PCOS; so i have been on a 2 year diet and have gained 40 pounds. (Figures!)
I am in a stressful time in my life, my mom died a few months ago and it has really trigger some binging and lots of emotions. My father wants me to come home
(2 thousand miles from where I live and my husband and there are no jobs there.) and help him out with my disabled brother. So that adds to the stress! My mother spoiled my father and left him in the position of not even knowing how to write a check or cook basic foods.
On the flip side I have a older brother 38 and a sister 27 who lives 1 mile from him, but he calls me about things.
My older brother and sister wouldn’t help my mother the last 2 sick months of her life I kind of figured they would help my dad!
I think a lot of my eating comes from guilt! I feel guilty from leaving my mother. We were not in the best relationship when I left; because I was seeing her start to give up (not walking as much,( she had 2 knee surgeries ), I really felt that I have 2 capable siblings to help her when I left; and they didn’t.
My mother never told me things were so bad with her (the last 2 months of her life); and my brother and sister didn’t bother to call me to tell me. My dad was a truck driver so he didn’t know either.
My mothers and my relationship improved while I was far away; we called each other 3 to 7 times a day. Then the calls stopped; but I knew she had the flu, (but it wasn’t the flu)
Anyways, this is where my guilt eating comes from.

So this is me. I am struggling every day; trying to make sense of things.
I have turned to writing a memoir of my mother as an outlet.

My bonging has been daily for 4 months; but I am proud to say I Haven’t in the past two days!

I am actually on vacation next week...not doing anything special--powerwashing the back deck and cleaning and resealing it--just got back from Lowes with some paint cards to decide what green to paint the shutters and trim since we put on the hunter green tine roof last fall. Going through more junk to take to Goodwill. We will probably go for a couple of motorcycle rides--Hubby is a homebody--never wants to go anywhere.

A friend of mine, my DD and I are going to Philadelphia to shop (hope we don't run into the EX!!! and his roomate!!!!) Philly is less than an hour from her parents--she has to take her eight year old up to spend part of the summer with her ex and we are going to do the shopping thing and then go to the shore where her sister has a house. I think it will be fun for all three of us without the guy who she lives with and my hubby--the two of them can have some bonding time--I actually have known my friends live in since I was 12!! He's the one the introduced my DH and me!!! DH and I are trying to get the mortgage, a credit card/medical bill consolidation loan and his motorcycle payment all paid off--we have about a year and a half and then we are done and maybe then we can actually go do stuff!!

well--DH wants to eat!!

Jules - pooh on dh!! I want to chat with you!

Hamza many hugs to you! I lost my father on the 21st. Just seems to be more difficult to handle and time goes on. Just taking a moment at a time and leaning on family & friends. Congrats on having 2 days of non binging! Hang in there and welcome again!!

Jules hey again......have fun in Philly!! Never been to that part of the counrty, would love to for the history. Hugs to you and your daughter!

Went to TJ and bought a salad. More salad stuff in the front office so I sent our assistant to get me a plate ....

better get - have people wanting me.......

Suzy Q--on my ds's 18th we went with my mom to Philly--hit all the historic sites and the Philadelphia museum of art--it was great--one day was just enough--the ex took DD of course and there is a place called South Street with lots of neat stuff. I am not sure when we are going but we all need it--with being able to stay with Becky's family we won't have to spend the money on hotels--she's trying to find someplace we can get Teri into to dance--she'll turn 19 on June 20th--not old enough for the 21 & over clubs!! DD's friend is moving with her fiance to Oregon--he's in the military and going to be stationed out there--she wasn't sure where.

Hamza--I am an emotional eater too--though lately I am becoming a non-eater when I get depressed. Sorry about your mom...

When need to come up with a day and time that all of us are able to get into the chat room together!!

Good evening ladies,

Hamza sorry to hear about your mom. Doesn't sound to me like you have anything to feel quilty about. I know that don't help or stop you from feeling it, but don't. I'm sure your mom knew how you felt and that you would have helped if you had been there. As for your siblings, been there, understand completely. They are the ones who should be feeling quilty. Anyway welcome to the group, nice to meet you.

Jules, Philadephia does sound like fun. Glad you can get away and have some fun.

No, Shawna and I didn't chat in the chat room. She invited me to be on her yahoo messenger and I her, so we saw each other on line and had a nice chat. I would like to chat with anyone of you/all of you.

My plans for the weekend. Tomorrow I am taking my computer in to get a cd burner or something like it installed so I can back up my programs safely. They are getting so big that my A: drive will no longer accept floppy disks, and I heard they are no longer the way to save information. Then I am going to get my hair trimmed. Been wanting to for months now. Hopefully this won't take me to long as I hate to leave my employee alone to long, just in case it gets busy. She can handle it, but I still feel better being there.

My ad should run tomorrow. They were suppose to fax it to me, and I waited and waited, then I called. Oh, they emailed to me. Well it came in but needed some changes. So then she called back, she had emailed me the changes and I was to ok them and call her right back.. well I waited and waited, finally I told her to fax the changes immediately.. she did and it was taken care of.. well the ad never came in my email.. so good thing I called. Hope it works.

Ok, going to go ride my bike and then head for bed. Been a long enough day.

Have a good one all,
Good night,
Ginny

I did it! I got my walk in tonight! 1hr 7 min 3.9 miles. Oh wow....my butt and legs are burnin'! I actually think I overdid it a little between the mowing and my walk. Oh well.

I am sooooo sore!!!

Happy Friday everyone

Just popping in really quick, so I don't have much time.

Michelle I am sorry that you have a migrane again today. Have you ever tried putting a little Tiger Balm on your temples? I use that for everything. It really does work for us.

Bep, Susan is very funny. Just don't tell her you love her cause she gets funny ideas.

Susan, Susan, oh Susan, We are back in kindergarten remember and you are allowed to love your friends like SISTERS! Yes thats right SISTERS! By the way you are much more beautiful (can I say that without you thinking strange thoughts ) than whoever is on your Avatar now, so please could you put your picture back up Please Please Please oh Ppuuuullllleeeeaaasssssee!

Cristi :hugs: to you as I know that you must be already missing Josh.

Hello to all the rest of you ladies. I will try to get back later to finish the individuals.

Kathy

Ginny & Bep - wow , you both are doing so great in the exercise department! True inspirations!
Jules - Sounds like an exciting trip to Philly. Let me know where he is stationed at, thinking eastern Oregon.
Kathy - omg......Napoleon is a HOTTIE! I love looking at his picture. Give me a couple days of drooling at it and I will put my picture back up. ok, I love you like a sister too

Had a slice of bbq steak and a baked potato for dinner. No time for exercising tonight!! Darn, darn,,,,,,,I really wanted to exercise....

I better go.....my daughters are running amok...I know, hard to believe.....chat tomorrow.

Good morning girls!

Bep--I so miss having little ones!! The empty nest thing is really hard!! Happy bday to your little man!!

Ginny--can anyone sign up for the yahoo meesenger thing??

Michelle ma belle--how's your headache??

Kathy--I love tiger balm too--it's great!! I never thought to use it on my temples for headaches though--will try it next time!!

SuzyQ-thinking back to school--and sisterly love--didn't you ever sign those notes everyone passes around "Luv ya, dearly not queerly" -- wow--takes me back!! my mom never throws anything away--I bet I could go down to her house and go through some boxes and find some old notes!! She still has my tiger beat magazines--DD saw one years ago and said that she didn't recognize anyone--I told her she would know Michael Jackson and showed her a picture and she argued that it wasn't the same person--it was in the late 70's and he had a huge afro.

Hi to everyone else!! I will probably pop back in later!!

Good Morning!

Jules- I was so teased as a child that I dropped out in the 7th grade. I never went to high school. I have never really bonded with women either...lol...always kind of stuck with the guys. Anyway, I will take your & Kathy's word for it and practic some sisterly love.

Gaby and I woke up at 6:30am. Does that child ever want to sleep in??? UGH.....I hope to pace myself today and go to the Starlight parade with the girls, it starts at 8:30. Rachel's dad is getting her the dress & shoes for Thursday's promotion, so that is a relief.

Ate some toast this morning, feeling heavy for some reason.....maybe all my bbq steak eating this week? It is beautiful here today so need to make an effort and get out for a walk!! Maybe take some lillies to my fathers grave site and walk the cemetery?? It just says no jogging, nothing about walking....
it is 290 some acres up there,,,,,really kind of peaceful......quiet.....still....wonder why...haha...ok....lame humor.....

best get!!! Hi to everyone!! Michelle we miss you!!! Cristi - hope Josh made it off ok.....

Came on my parents board, kind of cute..........





Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
Incited by my wicked diet.
"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man
And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
But at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So, grant me strength that I may not fall
Into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
That my soul may be poly unsaturated.
And show me the light that I may bear witness
To the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at margarine, I'll never mutter
For the road to **** is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
And Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
The Devil is in each slice of baloney.
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
And Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice
But, cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from jujubees.
And when my days of trial are done,
And my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe, size 30 long.
I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me,
The virtues of lettuce and celery.
If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
Of pasta a la Milannaise,
Potatoes a la Lyonnaise,
And crisp, fried chicken from the South.
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth!

[QUOTE=Mom2Gaby]Good Morning!

Jules- I was so teased as a child that I dropped out in the 7th grade. I never went to high school. I have never really bonded with women either...lol...always kind of stuck with the guys. Anyway, I will take your & Kathy's word for it and practic some sisterly love.

QUOTE]

SuzyQ--I hung out with the guys and people older than me--I got teased myself for not wearing the right clothes and all those other things shy girls with no self esteem get teased for-always had more guy friends than girlfriends--they don't care about your clothes--mom and dad separated when I was 3--dad being the town drunk until he sobered up when I was 12 didn't pay any child support--I recently found out that he actually broke into our house and stole the silver dollars that our aunts sent us for birthdays out of my brother and my piggy banks--even after he sobered up and got a very good paying job--he was never good at paying child support--moved in with another AA member and took care of her and her kids -- I was 13, my brother 15 and her youngest of 5 was 17 but he made sure they were sure they were taken care of including designer jeans for my step sister--I started babysitting doing yard work or whatever at 11 so I could buy myself the things mom couldn't afford--my brother worked on farms every summer--bought himself his first car at 16 and went to work at a weekly paying job--my first car was bought at 17. Always had a few female friends but it was hard for me to ever let anyone in....actually still is...but i am working on it!!

Jules - I think you do a good job of nuturing your female relationships. You have been very kind to me over time. I was teased on the weight and it came from the pretty, popular girls. I hated them and didn't trust them.
I have to work on my female relationship, it doesn't come naturally. Maybe because I feel they can see through me as another women.....like I can't hide behind anything. I don't know.
Maybe healthier woman friendships would mean less emotional eating?

Though my 1 lady friend that I called the other night had no time to talk with me.....and that kind of hurt....and I ate,,,,lol

HUGS......

Oh my goodness! What have I done????

I was baking a cake for my son's 3 yr b-day for tonight. I am making a new kind of cake I haven't made, a new kind of filling, and a new kind of frosting. So...that means I have to taste them all to make sure they are good enough to serve family we will be with...right???? Oh dear...the stuff was toooooo good. I made a chocolate sour cream cake, strawberry filling, and chocolate sour cream frosting. I made a double layer 9" cake, so I had to trim the tops of the cakes off so they would fit flat. *gulp* I should have left them rounded. I tasted the cake trimmings first. MMmmmmmmm!!!! I like that recipe! Then I tasted the strawberry filling while it was cooling. YUMMY! Then I tasted the frosting. OH MY GOODNESS YUUUUUUUMMMMM!!! So, then I thought, I had better tast them all together to make sure the flavors all blend well (stupid excuse). So, I took a piece of cake trimming and layered it with filling and frosting. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! This cake should be sold at a restaurant!!! By now, I am sure that you guessed it...I at all the cake trimmings. What I ate totalled about a nice-sized cut of cake. *gulp* WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING????? After all that walking and exercise the last couple days and being soooooooo good, how in the world did I let some stupid chocolate cake trimmings talk me into cheating????

did I mention it was REALLY good?

I could kick myself! I can't do exercises today to make up for it because we are going to have to be getting ready to leave for DS's little b-day party. Plus...I am soooooo sore from all my recent exercise. BUMMER!!!!

Someone give me a serious kick in the butt for that one!