Hi Howie.

Your post actually made me cry. Like everyone else here I understand exactly what you're going through. Please, please, please remember how great of a job you're doing and don't let yourself be derailed or discouraged. I can't imagine that anyone here deserve more respect or support than you for what you've done for yourself and for all the support I continually see you giving everyone else.

I wish you much continued success.

Thanks Ingrid. I'm not letting it derail me. Just wanted to share and vent. Thanks for you kind words.

This topic really made me think. This past week I've been eating a lot of chocolate and chips and it is almost like an automatic impulse to reach for this stuff when I'm not even hungry. I know a lot of it is boredom and other emotional eating so that is what I have to learn to cope with. However I need to develop something that is going to stop me before I even reach for that chocolate, something that say "hey, you don't need that, you are just bored, get out of the house and take a walk" but that little voice is drowning in a sea of fat and just can't be heard! I really and truly hope that this won't be a battle I'll be fighting forever. My sincere hope is that when I learn to cope with whatever emotional baggage keeps me fat that I won't have the impulse to reach for chocolate or other fattening foods, that I'll eat when I am hungry and I'll have the intelligence to pick healthy food.

Jen, I can tell you this: If you can free your house of the chocolate chips and chips, it'll make it easier to hear the good voices. LOL I went through the same thing with ice cream about a week ago. Of course, if others in your household eat that stuff and aren't on plan with ya, I know that can be difficult.

So, if that's the case, shout like a crazy woman: "NOOOPE! Not gonna go there, chips! I'm taking a walk!".

generally I've kept our house free of a lot of stuff like chips, chocolate and cookies but with Halloween and this gift basket I just can't keep my little paws out of the goodies!

Congratulations, I just saw the pictures on Gardenwifes blog.... You and the wife did an awesome, inspiring job..... and I whine about my 60 lb I need to lose.... God Bless you on your weight loss journey... India

Thank you! Your encouragement means so much. This site is the best.

you food slut! LOL You almost made me pee my pants!

You guys all rock. What you all say is incrediable - when I read these message I yell at my screen "yeah yeah - that's what I was thinking!"

Jessica, I completely missed your comment until Dana quoted it -- we posted at the same time. You slay me!

It's funny, the other night we were watching some show and one of the people was smoking. At that moment, I vividly remembered the sensation of drawing smoke into my lungs, felt the tickle, and for that moment I thought a cigarette sounded good.

Now, I have to tell you, I have not smoked since 1984; I really hate being around smoke now because it messes with my sinuses and sometimes gives me a headache. But some old neural pathway sparked and for a split second, I thought one sounded great. The mind does funky things sometimes!

I guess my point is, the thoughts can pop out of nowhere, years later. I've heard it said that it's not a sin for the birds of temptation to land on your head, but you'd darned sure not let them build a nest there.

I'm sorry you had a bad day - I, too, am such an emotional eater. When upset, I just think <insert bad food porn here> sounds SO good! If I have a hard day with my kiddos - I think, "Hey! I deserve this!" Bad food makes me feel goooood. <sigh>

It'll always be there - I still haven't quite come to terms with that, even though, in the back of my mind, I know that losing weight isn't a cure-all to all my food issues. I just wish that working so hard and losing weight would free me of my "food" prison.

Gretchen ~ I'm so sorry you are struggling! I've BTDT! Pregnancy and the hormones associated with it, really screw with your body. You'll get back to it - remember, your body is still adjusting...I have read that it can take up to 6 months for you to completely heal. PLUS - I know you had a bit of a traumatic experience - I did too with both my kids and it really affects you. (((HUGS))) Hang in there!

Howie, I first read your post last week but wanted to think about it for a little while before I responded. I thought about it all weekend - does it really end? I'm not sure if it really will for me. My biggest problem was lack of exercise, portion size sure didn't help either, but mainly it was the lack of exercise.

I thought about that for a long time. Am I going to continue this exercise program that I'm on now for the rest of my life? Well, the thing is I don't like to exercise at all. Sure I feel good when I'm finished, but I hate it while I'm doing it and I dread heading down in my basement for another run on the treadmill. It's easier now and I have more stamina, but I still hate it.

Right how I have a goal, and that goal is to lose weight. That's what keeps me going - keeps me putting one foot right in front of the other and finish my time on the treadmill or another lap around the pool. Once I've reached my goal will I be able to continue on with this or will I give it up? Surely if I give it up I'll be right back to where I started in the matter of a year. What will be my motivator then? How am I going to maintain this forever? It's quite a scary thought. I still don't have any of the answers that I thought I would come to after contemplating this for a while.

I'm sorry that you had a rough time of it last week but I want to say thank you for making me think about this. I still have a lot to figure out.

~Dee

What a great thread.

I agree completely with everyone, it will never end. I think we will always have a love affair with food, at least in our minds. It's a realtionship that many of us have been involved in very heavily for years. When we break it off and start to get healthy, that's all we are focused on, but when it starts to get routine, the love of that food and the void it filled comes lurking back. It's like an old love that you keep bumping into. But as you guys said, a bad choice is just one bad choice and it's really the next choice that matters. Howie, I know you and Kimberly will be successful and meet your final goal.

I find it a comfort to know that I am not the only one that has this struggle, I can tell you that when I give into the need for Mc D's, now that I am trying to make healthier choices, I will get a cheese burger happy meal instead of a larger meal.