Good early morning everyone..

Well..me and dh are away visiting friendsdown island. Tue scale did not come wth me and its driving me nuts. Good news though- im 100% on plan. I know this because i offered to make all the meal while we are visiting. So they are eating everything i make so i know its safe to eat. I feel lime im gain ing weight but i actually have no clue cause i cant weigh myself lol. Nice thing i guess is that i bought a new pair of pants..and they fit well.. size 16s. My size 18s were tight a month ago and now my size 16s are fiting my muffin top so perhaps im losing inches after all...

Anywho...gotta run..busy day today

Tried a star fruit today. I never had one before today. That was an adventure. The store display said that it tasted like an apple. I thought that it was more like a sweet cucumber. I like cucumbers, so it's not off-putting to me. I hope to try more exotic fruits/veggies.

My scale is officially broken. I couldn't weigh myself this morning.

How nice to read such cheery posts on such a gray and gloomy day!

Fi -- I started off the morning reading of posts with yours and realized that I was sitting here smiling and nodding my head. So happy for you to have had such a positive day and feeling more like Fi!

Donna -- So glad that your little one was returned. They are members of our family, and it's so scary when they go missing. Great news on the physical part of your checkup and on getting the insulation work going. Add getting Sam moving more (along with you) and it sounds like things are looking up. Even when you have a down day, you sounds so much happier now. I'm so glad for you to have made such a big change in your life and have it be so positive.

Tootsie -- Don't you just love it when you aren't focused on weight loss and lose! Smart, persistent, whatever -- it's ok to know that you're doing something that only a small percentage of people can do. Love that you're losing. I am so looking forward to seeing that first number be a 2 instead of a 3.

Sam -- Hope that DH is beginning to feel better by now. I was in pre-med for a semester in college when it dawned on me that I didn't like being around sick people! Not the best candidate for being a medical provider! Hope the hair color goes well -- new color or sticking with the purple/lavender?

Ubee -- Yay -- staying on plan and having a good day helps make it into a habit.

Porthardygurl -- Have a great time with your visit with your friends. And you just got proof that Sam's right about using other means of determining weight progress. Being able to fit into a smaller size of pants regardless of what the scale says is great!

Last night I had a sudden onset of bad back pain over my left hip. Had trouble walking and thought that the sciatica had returned. I was able to sleep in my bed, so the night went fine, but I was still sore this morning. Then I just noticed that it's all gone. Don't know if I had a pinched nerve or a muscle spasm or what, but I'm so glad that it's not going to be several weeks of sciatica pain.

On the diet front, I'm finally stringing days together and losing. Still a long ways to go, but at least I feel like I'm in a groove. One thing that has helped is having my main meal of the day at noon instead of the evening. Before, it would be time to fix dinner and I didn't want to so would end up eating badly. Now, I don't mind cooking at noon and will fix a salad and small sandwich for dinner and am happy. I've also been trying new foods to shake things up -- making roasted butternut squash soup for lunch today and made a Chinese salad last night that was yum.

Guess since I'm not in pain I'd better head off to the gym. Hope everyone has a great day.

Hi everyone.
I hope my computer will keep behaving. I did a sweep and it is better.
Betsy I am stringing my days together and it feels good. It feels good to be in a groove. I am trying not to look to far ahead. Right now my goal is to get below 250. More then that seems to be too much to think about.
Tootsie my scale broke once and I found out I weighed less then on my old one. Here's hoping the same for you.
Porthardy I have to chuckle about your scale. That is me with my computer. Why can't our obsession be we can't go a day without eating healthy and exercising. On second thought that might be just as stressful.
Donna my heart missed a beat when your dogie went missing. So glad you found him and you are starting to sound like your old self again.
Sam thanks for taking the time to update me on your new sizes. I look forward to not wearing tents and I needed to live through you until I get there.
Fi glad to hear you had a better day. I am always glad to hear from you and never feel like you are a bummer to our community.
Cindy welcome back. Sorry you haven't found a job yet but glad you are enjoying your little break.
Terra I miss your posts. Is something going on that you don't post as often?

We had two snow days and I did great!!! Usually off days and weekends are my trouble times so I am pleased.
I am afraid to say my life is getting to a nice little happy rut because WHAM that is when something happens. Yes, I am superstitious.
See you tomorrow!

My 5 year old girl was upset the other day. When she got off the bus, a child had told her that I probably couldn't fit through a door. This morning, one child stated that my family is a bunch of losers, and that upset my daughter as well. I go and wait for the bus with my children every single day, rain or shine, because I actually love my kids and want to ensure their well-being. Meanwhile, these parents are teaching their children to be bigots. My daughter is beautiful, inside and out. She's average weight and height and has huge bright green eyes. She's very kind, and easily hurt. I would hate to see this world take that kindness away from her because of people's cruelty. It upsets me that my children have to deal with people putting me down because I'm morbidly obese. I didn't exactly ask to be this way. Noone wants to be huge. I've been tempted to leave several times so that my spouse could marry someone more socially acceptable.

I faked it again this morning. I'm not motivated, but I forced myself to walk another mile.

Food trigger warning:

I'm having tomato soup for lunch. It's the weird kind with actual tomato in it. I used to eat the completely pureed stuff. Unfortunately, when I have tomato soup, I usually want a grilled cheese sandwich and lots of crackers with it. It doesn't actually taste bad without crackers, which makes me worry about the sugar content of this brand. I'm not having a cheese sandwich. Maybe later on, when I can stick to a half of a sandwich and half a cup of soup, I can have that particular meal.

well i think im hanging by a thread on this diet today. Really struggling. A cross between wanting to eat my feelings and cravings for chocolate. Its a bad combo. I so dont want to give up on this diet but do you ever just 'feel fat"? I mean..i have been 100% on plan but today i just feel fat.

Hi everyone.

Fi, I enjoyed reading about your visit with Mike. You sound so much better and happier than in your other recent posts.

Donna, I'm so glad that someone brought your little dog back to you. What a horrible feeling when you can't find one of your fur babies. I'm glad Sam has found some exercise that he enjoys. No doubt you are setting a good example for him.

Sam, no one has ever heard of Whitmire LOL. It's a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. They are happy there and that's all that matters. I hope your hair color arrives soon. I hate when my roots are showing.

Tootsie, I'm so sorry you and your daughter had to go through that. I want to say kids can be so cruel sometimes, but kids are not born cruel, they are taught that, and it's sad. I'm sure that your daughter was upset because she loves you and the hurtful words were about you. I find it interesting that you are able to fake it when you're not motivated. I know sometimes we do force ourselves to do things we don't want to do, but exercise is never one of those things I can make myself do when I'm just not feeling it.

Betsy, I understand about wanting to lose weight so you can walk more easily on your trip. One of the reasons we got a treadmill was so that we would be able to walk more easily while we were on vacation. Then we had to move it over the holidays to make room for the Christmas tree and it ended up in a corner and we stopped using it. Even though I had gained weight I was still able to walk pretty well so it did help.

Porthardygurl, enjoy your visit with your friends. I'm sure you will do fine since you're doing all the cooking.

Ubee, I'm glad you are doing so well. It feels good, doesn't it?

I have decided that for now I'm going to use weight watchers as my "diet" of choice. I have kept my online subscription and really like the idea of being able to eat everything, in moderation, of course. Moderation is a struggle for me. I don't do well with portion control so it seems to be a good teaching tool for me now. I did pretty well on it four years ago, so I'll see how it goes.

Possible food triggers ahead...

I went grocery shopping today and bought a box of my favorite snack crackers. Because I have no internal sense of portion control and consider a serving to be the whole box, I portioned out the correct servings into individual snack size bags in order to curb mindless eating.

Saturday DH and I have a fundraiser to go to for a local police officer, who needs a liver transplant. The dinner will be baked ziti. Normally when I'm trying to lose weight that would put me in a state where I wouldn't even want to go. Now I'm trying to view it as manageable. We shall say.

I have a big pot of chicken barley soup simmering on the stove and it smells so good. DH is at a meeting and I wanted to wait for him to get home to eat, but I may not be able to wait.

I hope you all have a good day tomorrow.

Donna Hair needs to be done again LOL...It's faded a lot. I just ordered the color online yesterday so it should be here by Saturday. The brands that I use I have to order online because they are only supposed to be sold to licensed cosmos and the only store that has them around here you have to be licensed to even enter the store. Trying a new color line this time so we'll see how it goes. Glad that Sam liked Wii Fit!!!!

Port Enjoy your visit and worry about what the scale says when you come home. Sounds like you're doing something right if your clothes fit looser!

Tootsie I've always wanted to try one!! I've had dragon fruit before. TBH it's not worth the money. It basically tastes like a kiwi and is much more expensive lol

Betsy Will hopefully get my color in the mail by Saturday so I can do it on Sunday. My girlfriend told me I needed to stop bleaching my hair because it's getting really damaged. I've only been doing the new growth but I need to give the ends time to heal and I'm working with some good products to help the damage. She suggested I use a pale blonde hair color on my roots. Since it's virgin hair the purple that I plan to do should stick. Worse case scenario I'll have to bleach the new growth and color it again but I think it will be fine. Once I get my hair a little more healthy I want to try and add in a few colors other than just the purple to give my hair some dimension.

Ubee Anytime sweetie! I'm always here to help! Glad that you are doing so well and sticking to plan!

Cindy Tiny towns can be good sometimes! I've always wanted to live close enough to the city but far enough out to where I can feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. My apartment is just outside the city limits...Not far enough away LOL!!!! Enjoy your time at the fundraiser!!

Going to keep it short and sweet today. The rain is coming down hard and don't want to worry about my computer blowing up lol...Stayed on plan no problem...Went to the gym and worked my legs. Got a nice hot shower and DH was late starting dinner so I have yet to eat but it sounds like it's almost ready. We're having our quick and easy sour cream/salsa chicken with green beans.

Be well!

Well...i survived our last night away from home. I came in at 1.5 carbs higher than 20. Considering most of my carbs came from veggies..its not bad. Today i was so freaking hungry...i bought an avocado from the store..got in the car..peeled it half way down and ate it like it was a plum. I kept eating till i no longer felt hungry. Ended up eating the whole avocado. You know..avocados are like the earths natural butter. Its so buttery delicious..i love those...but cant say the same for the calories. My calories came in at 1,700..yikes! My highest yet. I think its the roasted almonds and the avocado doing it. Will scale back for sure when i get home. Also..starting to eat at 9 am vs eating at 2pm..means im consuming a lot more during the day..especially when i havent done exercise. Exercise totally blunts my hunger..thank god i can return home to the swimming pool on saturday.

Hi there everybody!
Sam....ooh purple how nice! The problem with reds and purples is that they fade in the pool.....I really wanted purple too! So I have gone for copper-ish and the preventative measures!
Port....I am exactly the same....if I can exercise I don't feel at all hungry...which is why I get so frustrated when I feel too unwell to exercise!
Tootsie....I have had children make comments about me.....mercifully not Sam's school mates but in the pool when I am getting changed and once on a coffee shop when I knocked someone's table accidentally. I apologised but the woman made not-so-subtle references to my size which her 8 (ish)year old daughter chipped in with! Oh it hurts...it really does....and even more so if it is your children who are on the receiving end of it. The only thing I will say is that children will tease and bully other children no matter what....glasses/speech problems/ginger hair.....so a curvy Mum is just another stick they use.
Well Sam and I went swimming last night and swam 24 lengths. I could only swim breast stroke and not backstroke as the pool was too busy so my left knee was really grumpy last night and is stiff today but it is a small price to pay! Sam and I have decided to buy a waterproof MP3/4 player for Easter instead of chocolate. We will share it when we swim then. I get a bit bored when I swim for too long! We are aiming for 40 lengths then increasing our speed.
Eating has been on plan this week with minimal effort....the weekend is coming which can be a danger time for me so we will see how I get on!
Have a great day
Donna

Clear day so far, but the winds blowing so that means rain will be coming in off the Sound pretty soon. The daffodils have poked their heads up, everything is budding, and I think we're going to have an early spring this year. I'm ready!

Ubee -- Let's keep our happy little ruts even if something catastrophic happens! Sounds like we're both back in the groove, and that definitely makes staying on planning both easier and so rewarding.

Tootsie -- So sorry that your little girl has to deal with mean kids. Donna is right that some children will be mean no matter what the circumstance. And leaving so your spouse could get someone more socially acceptable? I've known a lot of couples where both were "socially acceptable" and they were miserable together. The tomato soup sounds so good. Good compromise to have the soup but skip the sandwich.

Porthardygurl -- Supposedly when you're counting carbs, it doesn't matter how many calories you consume. Supposedly being the key word there. I love that you ate an avocado -- may have been a lot of calories, but when I'm just starving for something, it tends to be my big three of chips, ice cream and chocolate.

Cindy -- Are you going to move the treadmill back over. It is encouraging to know that walking was easier, because I've started picking up my speed and time on the treadmill at the gym. It's a struggle with the a fib, but I can tell a difference. Good idea on portioning the snack crackers. Maybe we're slowly learning that we can eat anything as long as we don't eat too much of it! Hope the dinner goes well. It will be a challenge, but one meal like that isn't going to matter in the long run. Your soup sounds delicious!

Sam -- Please post a picture when you get your hair colored. You are so brave to do this yourself! You're inspiring me again. After your vacation, you immediately went back on plan and have had no trouble doing so. My lapses seem to last months (or a year as in 2015!). Any secrets to being able to switch back into healthy eating mode?

Donna -- Your swimming sounds so healthy and relaxing at the same time. This is an odd question, but I used to swim a lot when I was in my teens (and thin). I noticed when I got so heavy that I had a lot of trouble moving in the water because I had so much fat that I literally floated whether I wanted to or not. Hopefully you're going to tell me that it will get a lot easier once I get down to Twoderville. Of course, maybe you haven't experienced that -- hope not as it's not a lot of fun. Good idea on the MP3 player instead of chocolate. Hold strong this weekend!

I made a big pot of roasted butternut squash soup yesterday, and it was delicious. I'll be having that for the next few days and actually don't mind eating the same thing repeatedly when it tastes that good. The Super Bowl is this weekend, although I don't have anything special planned. I'll watch part of it, but really don't care who wins. Off to the gym and then home to work on the photo albums. This is turning out to be a much bigger project than I thought! Hope everyone has a great day.

Potential Food Trigger:

Looking for an artificial sweetener free protein powder. I was doing decently on a plan that allows portion controlled baked treats as a snack. I made them myself. I used protein powder in place of most of the flour, and used vanilla nonfat yogurt to bump up the protein count, but unfortunately, it was laden with artificial sweeteners. My kids wanted to try it. I don't want them to get used to artificial sweeteners considering that we aren't sure what they do to kids' bodies. It smelled divine when it was baking. I had pumpkin and pumpkin spice in it. I'll have to revamp the recipe. I'm thinking of adding honey or maple syrup instead of sucralose, which means that I'll have to adjust the portions. It should be fine because I wasn't able to eat a whole portion before.

Betsy....I understand exactly what you are describing as I have experienced it myself.....I also tried scuba diving a while ago but couldn't sink far enough!....... I sometimes feel it when I get tired but the trick is to keep your movements strong and your tummy muscles sucked in (well mine don't go in that far but you know what I mean!) Also if you have a tendency to keep your legs right on top of the water......keep your legs under the water a bit more than usual...it is hard muscle work but worth it!
Hope that helps!
I am TOYING with the idea of going to the Gym early tomorrow morning...I was hoping to go with a friend but might pluck up the courage to go alone.....but at dawn so no-one else is there!

Good day everyone!
Donna smart mom, teaching Sam that a treat/reward can be something other then food.
Betsy it is 24 here today and it feels like Spring! I know we will see an early Spring. Mind sharing your soup recipe?
Porthardy you are so lucky that exercise curbs your appetite. Once again I am just the opposite of you.
Sam how many different body parts do you work out? I never gave it any thought as to all those different individual areas to work on.
Cindy will you be going to a WW class or doing it online?
Tootsie when I read your post my heart sank. Years from now your kids will not remember/care about those bullies BUT they will forever be grateful for having a loving mom!
Hi Terra & Fi.

So I just got done from going out to lunch. I may have overdone it. As I was eating dessert I did question would I chose this or weight loss. I will be honest dessert won. I did tell myself that I can do both. I guess I will be making a big kettle of stone soup for the next days and not invite anyone to contribute to the soup.
See you tomorrow.

Well im home now and still barely holding on...Delicious recipes ive made or not..i feel fat and i dont know if its because i see a higher caloric count then im used to. I used to eat 900-1000 calories per day and exercise for almost 2 hours and live on protein shakes and i was happy. Here i am low carbing..counting every carb and every calorie and i feel completely defeated and whats worse..the scale continues upward. Making it 8 pounds lost in a month...8!!!! On low cal i would lose 20-25 pounds in a month. Its like counting calories works better but i dont know why?? I mean i still count my calories but i dont "watch" for a limit. I am just aware of them. But i count every carb. I wish i could tell if this perpetual gaining is from water weight or if its fat... I left 2 days ago weighing 230.6 and i come home and weigh this evening and im 231.8. I dont get it anymore..

To be honest..i feel so internally frustrated..i wish i could go back to my self-mutilation years when i used to cut myself just to relieve the emotional pain inside. I need relief from the dissapointment and self hatred and "fatness". I cant stand looking at myself naked in a mirror..i feel like i get bigger and bigger and bigger. I dont see smaller. I swear my face is bigger today then it was yesterday. Evn without looking at a scale number...i cant deal with the image in the mirror. Someone just wash it away and show me a picture of myself healthy and happy cause im so done seeing the fat me.

Sorry for being so depressing..im at my wits end. I feel like im going to plunge off the end of diet land into a vat of sugar and fatty food goodness.