the general consensus seems to be that when we are overweight we feel we dont "deserve" to have anyone be attracted to us and we dont "deserve" sexual intimacy. its so demented but i feel the same way.

I am exactly the same way.
And its really hard because my husband is very sexually driven. But all I see when I look in the mirror is this "fat girl" that I dont want to be and that I dont like and I cant figure out in my head how he could possibly be attracted to this when I cant stand it. I used to be fine with sex whenever, now I find myself saying no a litlte more often and when we do have sex (which is still quite often), Im always trying to hold in my tummy, or praying he isnt looking at my thighs or when he rubs my back or wherever im always hoping he doesnt notice any rolls or whatever. I find it horrible. I cant wait to not feel so worried about everything.

It's been difficult for me because my boyfriend met me when I was 30 lbs lighter than I am right now. I always ask (which I know I shouldn't) if he was more attracted to me before-dumb question I know! He still tells me Im just as beautiful as I was the day he met me. I definitely dont look the same. I don't really gain weight in my tummy just my lower half and it makes me soooo self concious. It's hard to enjoy being intimate when you're constantly concerned about how you appear to your partner.