Lindy, know that you are worth it... there is no way you can possibly take up too much space, because you are worth all the space you need!

Hi all! Happy hump day!

Cyn - Glad you got stuff unpacked! Does this mean that you and your son are going to get to spend more time with the baby? How are you settling in?

Annie - What is a P90X? Now I'm curious! I think I'll go google it

Rat - Did I ever show you a pic of the stray I rescued in the fall? She looks just like your kitty!

Lindy - Bless you. I know how it feels to just be so hopeless and down like that. Do you have any friends who could keep you company when you get out of bed? Also, maybe you could get a volunteer or something? I know it's a little bit embarassing, but maybe it would be a good way to meet a friend?


I am sick yet again. I finally managed to drag my *** out of bed and to take the dogs around the block and to the park. I need to work out my summer school classes for the rest of the summer and apply for summer jobs, but I have no energy!!!

Lindy - you've officially been scolded by Rat and her wet noodles - beware! Actually there are remarkable women here - and they have supported me every day of my journey - some day I hope to hug them for real and give them my thanks - they've also become very dear to my heart. It's great reading your posts!

Annie and Catherine - plans are ever changing - don't give up on me yet! Who knows what North to Alaska will bring me.

We aren't going tent camping. With my back, getting up and down off the ground isn't fun at any weight. We've got sto n go seats in our van that we will plop down, and just sleep in the back. I'm sure I'll miss my old VW campervan, and my Eagle Scout.

I spent another couple of hours at the fabric store today. They had windstop polartec on sale for $3. I've gotten just about everything I need for my Celtic gown except the tartan. I am still undecided about which weight and tartan I want to get. It's expensive, so I'm not buying until I'm sure.

Catherine with you knowing so much about your ancesters I thought you'd have a family tartan! I dunno whether a woman adopts her husband's tartan after marriage or keeps her own but I do know in Scotland & some parts of England some shops will only sell you the 'right' tartan! xxxxxx
Pink I envy you the Greek! I love science like Ratkitty but adore acient history! Hope you feel more 'walk-y' today.xxxxxxx
Lindy it is hard BUT it could have been worse than pizza, SF chicken anyone?? LOl!!!! Can you get hubby to pick up some low calorie micro-meals or frozen veg & fish? I always forget to plan meals & a bit of fish cooked in a little milk & water takes minutes & peas or other frozen veg can be microwaved in a minute or two, just an idea (from somone who forgot to take the meat out of the freezer for tonight's dinner, DOH!!!)xxxxxxps you take up as much room as you need, it will get less before long! xxxx
Carol FAB to see you, are you moving to ALASKA?? Hope you are well & happy.xxxxxx
Well no more time for posts except Jess LOVE your hair! WTG n losing so much weight too. I have (dyed) red hair so does Neon, must set up a club!!!lolxxxxxxxx I'm in a deep slump, can't eat, sleep or feel comfortable, think I may have to visit the Dr soon. I was hoping to feel better once thr HRT kicks in, I'm still waiting. Anyway I gotta take the boys to school...hugs xxxxxx
xxxxxsharon

Sharon - Def make an appt with the doctor. You shouldn't be in pain all the time.

I am a bit upset because I am graduating in December, and I just got my grades for this semester, and had my worst semester ever, dropping my GPA to 3.45, which disappoints and frustrates me because I had my heart set on applying to Duke for graduate school (Divinity), and I need a 3.5. I still have a term to bring my grades up, but it makes me anxious and disappointed.

I am still feeling ill. One of the pups has diarrhea and got it all over the apartment, so I had to clean that up which didn't really help with the sick feeling. I am staying up until horribly late hours lately (it's 4 am) because I don't want to go to bed and have to think about how anxious and depressed I am. I have a psychiatrist appt tomorrow, and not in the mood.

Hope everyone has a fab day!

Lindy, do not ever say that you are a waste of space, you are doing something to help yourself, I know it can get frustrating and feels like you will never get there, but hon you will just keep doing what your doing, at least you are getting up at least you are trying to eat more healthy. am proud of you keep it up.

Good morning everyone. I hope this finds all of you, especially the babies - human and puppy- feeling well.

Please don't think ill of my Dear Husband. Taking care of me is literally harder than taking care of a baby elephant because they can walk! (Hold those wet noodles, I am aware that this is self-deprecating and I won't say it again) He just can't shop much or cook right now. He doesn't want me up much because I had some nasty falls requiring firemen and ambulance rides in the past.
MY NEW ATTITUDE - THANKS TO YOU GUYS - is that all of this is okay.
In the past I start diets flat out 100%, stick to the 100% and quit when I go off of them just a little bit. This time I am forced to take the BABY STEPS that several of you have wisely suggested.

Ratkitty - your suggestions are do able right now. SO they are my plan until June - Increase water, bed exercises, and 1 good food choice a day.

Today he left me 3 slices of pizza, 6 chips ahoy cookies, crackers, cheese and two cans of dr pepper cans in my lunch cooler. I got my son to bring me a container of water instead of the dr pepper. I gave him a piece of pizza to eat on his way to college so I only have two. Husband is picking up from a mexican place tonight so I told him chicken fajita with no toppings. Baby Steps.

Friends helping out - well, I used to have lots of friends, when I was in the world. When I first got very ill they would bring casseroles and plants and visited, But after the first year of being homebound, most have drifted away and they are busy with their own lives. My best friend is a teacher and she'll come over after school is out too. Don't blame the friends, I didn't encourage people to come over with me in this condition. Even the best of them reflect pity, sometimes revulsion, in their eyes when they visit.
The insurance won't send any more physical therapy because they've declared that I won't make any more progress.
I need to do a breathing treatment now and then I'm going to try more bed exercises.
Blessings, Lindy

Pink: we have yet to see the baby ;( Only pics..which i am grateful for that. I know she was born on Feb 2nd. I hope in time we get to see her. I hope my son especially gets to see her. Almost unpacked!! I can't wait to be all teh way done so i can get to creating again! In this house I have a room to myself! My computer and crafts!!

Catherine: 2 hours at a fabric store..HEAVEN!!

LINDY: I am soo PROUD of you!!! Choosing water over Dr Pepper!! Dr Pepper is evil I know I use to drink close to 2 2ltrs a day!! Now I don't drink it at all. YES Baby steps are the way to go!!!

Last night watched the SUNS game. My aunt who lives behind us came over. SHe is a big Steve Nash fan. It was nice to watch it with someone. My youngest and hubby dont like sports really so unless my oldest is home, which he wasnt,i watch alone.

Today I am covering the early shift for someone. So i better get a move on!

G'morning mah peeps!

I had some intestinal grumblies this morning and got to work a wee late. Happens if I indulge in too much fat (because I absorb only 20% of it).

Pink, nope, you did not tell me your new kitteh is the same color (tortishell) as my evil psychotic Ratkity!! Rat is almost 16 yrs old and has come back from the brink of full kidney failure. We go to the vets every Friday to get fluids and for her to get weighed. Too hard and stressful for the vet to get blood. Rat's always hated everyone, but me (and sometimes that's iffy). She was really needy last night and slept with me half the night and then decided to leave. About 30 min later she wanted back up on the bed. It's a tall antique bed, so I have to turn on the light and grab her put her up. What a silly goof. I'm hoping your torti isn't as nuts as mine. All calicos and torti's are a little wacko. hehe

Okok Lindy, I'm holding onto da cold wet noodles. I'll keep them on hand in case you forget lol. Excellent food choices!!! Just getting rid of the soda or even 1 of the sodas is a big step! So many empty calories. If water gets too boring, perhaps one of your men could get you some crystal lite mix-ins (provided you can ingest splenda and would like the taste).

Intestinal grumblies were a setback for BikerChick and she didn't commute to work. Still planning on the lunch walk.

Catherine, I lub car camping!

Hugs,
Ratkity

Cyn - I'm glad your son and the girl is talking. I think the parental issue is going to be a big one for many years, but hopefully these two will work it out! *HUGS* Glad to hear you got all unpacked! I'm going to be doing spring cleaning when I'm well and planning on packing up things lol. Wanting to move out.

Jess - WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!

Baksetcse - I know how you feel about being too heavy for things. I mean even my chair has a weight limit, but I sit in it anyhow, muahahahahaha.

Rat - Yeah the pollen count is a killer. I'm even feeling the allergies now. Been sneezing over the past two months a lot, but right now it is more so because of a cold lol. I feel for people who have a lot of "nature" allergies. Woosh!

Lindy - You are totally not alone. I feel that way too sometimes, but the people here are really supportive, even when I'm doing my disappearing acts, which I do. It is an old habit that I learned from my Mother. *hugs* You're not a waste of space. I grew up in a home where I was called worthless, made to feel low, and this wasn't done by my Mother, but my step-mother and father. I still feel that way sometimes as my BF has outbursts that can make me feel horrible about myself. Learning how to love myself is a real challenge and I would say THE challenge as the more I love myself the more I take care of myself and the weight does come off. I'm happiest when I'm putting myself first, which doesn't happen often. I'm learning as are you. *HUGS*

*******
Well...I had a bit of an adventure. Two days ago this FREAK storm hit my area, which is odd there wasn't any news about it, and it was very tornado like I must say. Violent and quick with extreme winds! I was doing some work when the power went out, I then had looked out my window (i'm on the second floor of a house) and noticed the trees were literally disappearing from my window and reappearing. They were being pushed back and forth. Then I stood up to see a bit better and I hear this GROAN WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH SWOOOSH! and the apartment started to shake as I heard something hit the house lol. So, I was a bit frightened and I went to investigate and check on the neighbors. I went downstairs and saw a tree had fallen and hit the house, just on the side, and slid down breaking a meter..blocked the driveway. So, I ran over to check on my downstairs neighbor and she was fine, then all us neighbors started to clear it away. I have to admit, it was a bit fun to be outside and clearing away a tree. Ha, I had to drag a 6 foot tall branch back to the forest lol. I guess that is exercise... So, the tree did little damage, luckily, and the storm caused a lot of damage for our area. I mean there were sirens, helicopters, yet NO news! It is like the twilight zone.

I'm still recovering from my cold. Getting there...I kind of exhausted myself with the tree thing and then the next day I had to go out and run errands. By the time I got home I was shaky and just feeling icky. I hate that part of recovering from illnesses...you know that "gain your strength back" thing. Ew... :P

So, I'm not juicing and smoothing yet, but I will be. I'm eating really well though and yeah I am getting exercise in!

*HUGS* I hope everyone is doing well!

Well, my son has an ear infection which is good because it means it is nothign terribly serious, but damn he is in pain. They have recalled all of the children's meds (tylonol, motrin, benedryl, zyrtec...) so I can't give him those. We have gotten some of the generics from Walgreen's to help him out, but come 4 am, he is screaming in pain and burning up again. Sleep is a rare commodity these days, but I am sticking to everything. I did my workout before picking him up from daycare, cooked for everyone last night and packed a healthy lunch for today. SO I am doing all I can, but I am running on fumes today.

Thank you for the warm welcomes!

I figured I would check in this morning.

First off, Lindy. Every little step counts. They all add up to a marathon, just remember that :] You're in my prayers and I would so come visit you if I lived closer!

I need to stop weighing myself every day lol I get more and more depressed when I do. I don't take into thought that water, my bladder, or other things effect weight during the day. I looked at it and it said I was up to 308 and I sighed and wanted to cry. I want to be at or below 300 by the time I leave for CA. And with my WLS, it's possible. I just need to buckle down and make the right choices.

I also need to remember that a section of my weight is the excess skin that hasnt tightened up yet. I just need to not get so discouraged and see it for what it is.

I even had the bad thought that I should just starve myself to get the weight off =[ Bad thoughts, I know. I really don't have any friends around me that understand what it's like. My ex-best friend made it her business to take what friends I had with her, turned them against me so I really don't have anyone but family and my boyfriend for support (before finding ya'll that is :])

I started walking (or am going to start) on my lunch at work, so that will help. I went and stocked up on fresh fruit and veggies at the store last night. I got some 100 cal bars for snacks and some diet soda (yeah, still not healthy, but better than my mochas). And I've limited my sugar free chai's to one a week.

Baby steps, as Lindy said. But, I can do it.

I just got all signed up for grad school in the Fall. I wanted to wait until I got my grades from this semester before deciding. I'll be taking Medieval Church History and Bioethics. After next semester I will be officially half way to my Masters in Theological Studies, and they haven't kicked me out yet.

Catherine - I am doing a Bachelor of Theology right now, and will be starting my masters of divinity in January!