well, yesterday was an on day for me. I ate all meals and snacks, but didn't binge. So I am proud of myself. Congrats to all who did great this week to!

Dodged a bullet tonight! Was so tired and stressed with babies crying... Girls finally went to sleep, hubby went out, and Fridge was calling. But I said I'm not going to cave in this time. Yay! Hope everyone is doing well too!

the past 8 weeks have been a horror story for any binger.
I was on the road to clean eating. Lost over 50 bs,,,then my dad died. And it took 7 weeks for his wifeto find the time for the memorial. Then she made sure evveryone knew whom I was...that my parents weren't married.
I have been fighting with the urge to binge...have fallen down afew times ..and feel so out of control.

I know about that nighttime feeling! I have started taking the supplement GABA when my daughter falls asleep and usually I am out 10 minutes later!!! That keeps me from being stupid!

I am sorry about your dad. What crappy drama to have to deal with when you are already grieving. Blah.

I read on this forum "If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the solution"

This has been my mantra.

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have to deal with so much drama, Angelia. *HUGS*

Day 6 for me! We're going skydiving today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angelia, oh my gosh sweetie, I am so sorry. I lost my dad 3 years ago. The added complication of your parents not being married. People are crossing your boundaries left and right, digging into your life and judging you. Don't use bingeing to control your life. I definitely recommend a letter to the wife or something. Sit down and write a letter, even if you don't send it you will get some of that pent up emotion out. Try to forgive her--even though what she is doing seems evil. Tell her--ok you lost a husband, but I lost a dad. I didn't choose to be born the way I was--and I'm not going to let you condemn me for it.

afm: So tempted to run out and go buy fastfood for my eating window when SO came home at 4pm with a bojangles chicken sandwhich and I was getting somatic hunger. But I ate a small portion of quiche. (I made with lots of veggies)..then went to work cooking --I fried me up a small batch of fries, and made myself a small hamburger.

compared to a Hardees thickburger and a Large curly fry--I did awesome! I'm proud of me!

my only other real temptation was fruitsnacks--I usually could eat a whole box of those things. Welch's only. But I limited it to 2 packs during my eating window--and I shared both with my son and friends.

I am under alot of stress about my nursing expenses. At first W.I.A said they would help me with training for my future nursing schooling (when I was looking for a job). Now they are like well you came through here looking for a job so we might not be able to help you now. It broke my heart. I was so mad. It seemed like they used 7 different excuses to justify them not saying they could help me right away. I actually wake up in the middle of the night--still kind of stressed about this. i have worked so hard. I have a 4.0 received my Associates in Science Summa cum laude, because I am actually working towards my BSN--but taking my ADN this fall-(Associates Degree in Nursing)-because you have to take a lot of classes just to get into the ADN program. Here I am at the door of making something good out of my life. It's hard always being one of the smartest persons in your class--but feeling you will never succeed because of your financial background. My little son has also showed great academic ability. I want to show him this academic ability can get you SOMEWHERE in life. The only thing that really holds me back...is other people with exceptional academic ability are volunteers for mostly everything. I do not volunteer with organizations but i help out whoever I can in whatever way I can. Nobody sees that--and it's not an organization--so I lose points everytime on scholarship applications.

Anyways, that was just a vent. So I actually am in a period where I NORMALLY stress eat. So glad to be losing weight--I feel more in control.

I'm confused on your path to RN. You completed your AAS? Did you do your pre-reqs for nursing? Here we have to do our pre-reqs, which are quite a bit of classes, then we apply to the nursing program (2 years)...unless you are going right for your BSN. I suppose going for your BSN first would mean you have to wait longer to get your RN. I have my AAS in nursing, and my nursing license, but I am in the process of taking classes towards my BSN.

Have you tried applying for loans? I did all my education on loans. There's no credit check, so anyone can get one. I don't know what you are doing now, or what its like in your area, but here many hospitals offer bailor programs. You work Sat and Sun, but get paid for 3 days (full time + benefits) and they pay for school. In exchange you must commit to work at that hospital when you graduate for X amount of years.
Good luck

BINGE FREE WEEK!

Day 6!