I am back...for a third time...haha. I have been bingeing off and on since my little brother's birthday weekend all the way back on March 20th. It started with some ice cream, a flavor I didn't even really like actually, not to mention that I don't even really like ice cream...arggghhh. It progressed to other sorts of junk and overeating. I'm working on getting rid of my "all or nothing" mentality.
I have been reading Geneen Roth's book "Appetites" as well as some of her other books for the last month and they have really helped me get a handle on my eating. Ultimately it is up to me, though....do I really want this? I asked myself this question yesterday and the answer is yes, I do. I want great health, I want a great body that reflects my hard work and dedication. I want healthy foods. I want to feel good.
So as of yesterday I decided to totally
recommit to getting to goal. Whatever it takes, I will do it. I exercise every day (although I could do more and am willing to), I like eating healthy foods, but my downfall is bingeing when I feel depressed or stressed. I need a place to be accountable for my bingeing (or hopefully lack thereof
). After just one day of being recommitted to my healthy lifestyle I am down 2 lbs. on the scale. Surely water weight, but hey...I'll take it! Of course, that 2 lb. loss brings me back to 174 so I can't change my ticker yet! I can't wait to get back into the 160's (and 150's) again. I'm shooting to reach goal by November 1 (my birthday) which means I'll have to lose an average of 8 lbs. a month. Totally doable, and I WILL do it. I am more determined than ever to finally get to my goal weight.
I was thinking about my life and my weight yesterday and I realized that I have been playing a supporting character in my own life for too many years. Helping and supporting other people instead of helping and supporting myself. Being between 10-30 lbs. overweight in my early and mid-20's has allowed me to not take chances that I would have if I didn't have a layer of pudge to hide behind. I don't want to hide anymore. I want to take the lead role in my life again.
So
to everybody that remembers me from before as well as the new people. Hope everybody has a great weekend! I'm working on Day 2 binge-free today. I'm off to jog with my puppy!