Hi!
Just a quick update on Daisy!! We took her to the vet today to see if there was something we could do to help her or if it was best for her to go for a long sleep. The vet walked her around, checked her heartbeat, and said she is doing pretty good for an old gal. He told us to try Rimidyl which is a med for her arthritis. He said he expects great results in 10 days!!! So she is home with us again, where she belongs, and she WILL get to feeling better soon.
Thank you ladies so much for understanding how hard it is when our furbies get old and need us to decide what is best for them. Thanks for your encouragement and concern.
to you all
Debbie

Hello everyone!

Wow! It's been a long time since I've popped my head in here... I've read this week's posts, but unfortunately don't have time for personals because of a paper that's due tomorrow. Things are still going really well with the boyfriend, whose head is in my new avatar picture... haha. That picture was taken during a really lovely drive we took along the C & O Canal byway. I'm just a few lbs away from reaching my 100lbs lost mark and I'm not going to get there by eating the way I did this weekend... but that's okay, Halloween candy is out of sight and eating has been great the past two days... I just need to work on resisting restaurant food and instead opting to stay in. It's just so hard with so many tasty restaurants in the D.C. area!

I'm excited about going to Boston.. just two weeks away! Time really flies... we're doing dinner with some family friends of his parents' because they apparently have a big to-do with their bunches of kids and their significant others (and other friends) so that should be fun. The people have known my boyfriend for years and the husband was actually his principal at his day school in elementary! Haha.

Hopefully things will be a lot calmer after this paper is done. I don't have many other large assignments left for this semester, thank goodness! I hope everyone's doing well and keeping OP!

Debbie - we gave our Goldie the people drug Mobic - our vet was concerned with the extra expense involved in canine pharmaceuticals - we saw a change immediately - she actually wanted to open birthday presents - at 16 years old - which is ancient for a lab. Thought I would mention it - I know we will spare no expense for our beloved pets. Hug Daisy for me.

Just a quick note - I'm on the road in the morning so need to get packed. Will catch up on up personals tomorrow in the hotel. I fixed a wonderful Asian Pork and Vegetable Stir Fry tonight - yummyyyyy.

Hope everyone is doing great - still having difficulty with the transition to fall and early darkness.

Hugs to all,
Carol

Ratkity – I hate the fact that misery loves company, but it does help to hear that other people have the same issues. I guess in a way I should be happy that I am not 100% content in my life because it keeps me moving forward and growing as a person. Congrats on getting an award at work. Very cool!

Debbie – I am so glad Daisy is ok! Since you asked - I am 34. I think I spent a lot of time eating in order to suppress the feelings I am having right now. That was my best hobby! Of course it was very self destructive. I have been thinking about some form of needlepoint, which my mother was really into. . .

Battle - 50 POUNDS What a fantastic milestone! I have thought about dating again, but that just scares the crap out of me. I guess maybe I should try and figure out why it scares me so much.

Deb – School did it for me for a very long time. When I was busy with classes at night I didn’t have that much time to think about it. I know that I should start studying for my CPA and move forward in my career, but I just can’t seem to find the motivation for that. Ugh! I have been out of school nearly 2 years now. If I don’t do something soon I am afraid I might not at all.

Valerie – I think you are right! But somehow I don’t think a horse would fit very well in my apartment.

Carol – Testing out equipment to see if you like it is a great idea. I never would have known how much I like the elliptical if I hadn’t joined a gym. I really don’t like bikes and I might have gotten one, which I probably wouldn’t have stuck to anywhere near as long.

Patty – Glad things are going well

Catherine – I definitely need to do some more journaling. That is so funny about the gifts your husband gets from his mother. I think sometimes people don’t want to recognize how old their children are because it makes them feel old. Heck – I am starting to meet people my age with teenage children and that absolutely scares me.

Cyn – Congrats on stopping at one plate at the buffet!

Lisa – It is good to hear from you. You are doing great! I hope you are fully recovered from your accident.

Donna – I am so sorry to hear your vet visit went badly for your baby. I hope he is feeing better today.

Annie – Thanks for the

Luan – It sounds like you had a fabulous time. No pimping of brownies allowed!

Meta – It is funny, but I never thought for a moment that it had anything to do with my size. You know, it may have, but I have built up this level of denial that I don’t even want to know size discrimination is there. So I totally ignore it. Ok – most of the time. What were you doing out walking in a dress on such a miserable day? You sound just like me.

Lindsey – What a cute picture of you and your new BF! Restaurant eating is so tough. I hope your paper writing goes well.


I am feeling a little better today. It is funny that one of the things I often write in posts to new people is about not expecting weight loss to just happen because you decide one day to do it. It is a skill that needs to be grown over a period of time because for so many of us when we start it really is something totally different from what we have been doing so far in our lives. It may be that some people learn this skill when they are young, but it is still a skill. I think the same can be said for almost anything. I need to teach myself how to grow something passionate in my life. It isn’t just going to happen if I stumble around in the dark looking for it. It is something that I need to work on and grow. I know I can find it and move forward. I know that I can move forward even if I don’t find “it” because it might not be quite so linear.

I know there are so many things so say, but I can only do a few...

BattleAx -- YAY! On 50 pounds lost! I think after 50 pounds the only people who really noticed were the ones who knew I was losing weight. Be patient. After a while you'll be tired of people telling you they don't even recognize you!!!! And the new clothes really help...

Debbie -- Our 7 yo pug has arthritis in the hip and was having lots of trouble moving (not as much as your pup, tho). We put him on rimadyl (that's the same as carprofen, right?) and the change after just a few days was noticable! Then we added glucosamine and now he dances around like when he was a pup!

I way overate today. I was trying to get a million things done all morning and kept just reaching for food. I'm a stress eater for SURE. I'm eating even as I type this!

Tomorrow is a new day, however. One day isn't gonna kill me (Repeat until it sinks in or I collapse!)

Donna-the sippy cup was for real. It had his name on it in big block letters made out of crayons. He thought about using it as a coffee cup, but it wasn’t even microwaveable. She had paid $15 dollars for it at the Bay, so I got a giftcard that we could also use at Zellers, and spent it on cheap DVD’s. If I know anything, it’s that nothing she sends is for me. She would actually get angry if she knew I was wearing them. They were men’s, but I can’t imagine any real Canadian man wearing a touque with snowflakes. Maybe that is why they were on sale. She has schizophrenia and borderline, and refuses to be properly medicated. She actually leaves screaming messages on the voicemail. We call block her occasionally, and then she just goes to pay phones. They live about an 8 hour drive away, Thank God.

Annie-Were you planning of going to your interview dressed as the Great Pumpkin. I’m visualizing the woman George Costanza dated on Seinfeld who was a weird orange color. The way I’m shaped, I’d look like a very big football. With my luck someone would try to kick me, and I’d have to punish them with extreme prejudice. Hubby doesn’t mind me getting the gloves, he prefers mittens, and he constantly worries about me staying warm. He has this fear that I’ll get too cold, and run away to some place warmer.

Debbie-yes it gets that cold here. And before you think that is just in Celsius, at -40, Celsius and Fahrenheit intersect. At 10 below, I wear 2 pairs of pants, and at 30 below I wear 3 pairs. Good thing I have a stash of pants that are way too big. Comes in handy while shoveling snow. I used to live two blocks from the beach in St. Pete with a back yard full of oranges. Let’s see why did I move here? Oh yeah, I fell in love with a polar bear. The coldest I’ve been is -46 at Ft. McMurray. I had a dog who had to take Rimidyl, and it worked great. I hope you have the same luck with it.

Meta-We had a group of four brothers from the Maritimes about a month ago who came looking for work, and ended up living under a bridge. One of them got killed when they had too much to drink and started horseplaying, and he fell. They closed down the tent city, but are spending millions on a new animal shelter, and many millions on art gallery renovations. I’m funny, I don’t think we have the right to spend a dime on art while there are people living on the street. We live a block away from a closed hotel. The city could buy that and use it for a shelter. I know that the boom caught them completely off guard. Who knew oil was going to increase in price, Right. The city is fixing to spend a quarter of a billion (yes, with a B) dollars on one intersection on the south side of town because of big box stores and urban sprawl. Those traffic light had better be gold plated for that price. See, this is why I’m not a politician. I’d say such naughty things.

Battle-happy birthday. If you’re still celebrating those nasty things.

Rat-I’d love it if they used regular household stuff in church, you know maybe some sandlewood, but no, they use the good stuff, Frankincense, about $3/oz..

Nancy-Wait until your friends start showing you their grandkids. That will seriously mess with your head.

Heather-wow, you’re an emotional eater. I never knew we had any of those around here.

I’ve got to get up early in the morning. He’s being interviewed on NPR out of Ohio, and God forbid he could set the alarm clock himself, and get up by himself. At least he isn’t dragging me with him to Ohio, they can do it over the phone. I did a bunch of school work today. Anything to get out of doing housework.

sorry about the pimping of brownies. that was pasted from my myspace. lol but they really are a fabulous endulgence.

Catherine -- I manage to not eat from other emotions or for other reasons (I want to, but can stop myself.... make myself exercise), but when I'm under work stress - BAM! I'll be sitting at my desk, trying to juggle 340,203 tasks and my brain turns off.

I'm bringing some tea to work today. Calms me and keeps me from snacking. And any extra vegetables I can find. I seem to crave ANYTHING in these situations at least, so if there's something at hand...

It's all about figuring out how to deal with all of this, isn't it?

Luan: Is the "Big Dish" on Food Tv and when? I want to see our Luan on TV. lol. Glad you had such a nice time.

Debbie: How was your walk? I am thrilled for you that Daisy is going to be feeling better very soon.

Battle: just remember 50 pounds may not be noticed by people but, your insides, heart, lungs, liver, kidney they are all rejoicing!

Ratkitty: Congrats on the award! Great job eating well too. My energy is coming up slowly. I know I still need my CPAP machine and I haven't been using it. I got it titrated down so I don't have any excuse. I need to clean it really good today and hook it up.

Lindsey: I'm glad that you seem so happy with your Boyfriend. I hope you have a blast meeting his friends and family.

Carol: Have a safe trip.

Nancy: I'm glad that you are feeling a bit better. Hugs and hang in there.

Catherine: Ya, I guess I was going to go looking like a pumpkin. lol. I did have a wonderful interview though.

Well, my interview yesterday was so great. There is a series of 3 interviews and I made and impression enough she told me to warrant a 2nd interview. Hopefull sometime this week I will have that 2nd interview. The 2nd interview is with 2 of the top dogs for the company. If I make it to the 3rd interview that is with the whole staff at this location. They are hoping to hire someone and have them start working by the end of next week. I am so hopeful about getting this position because it is all about helping other people. People on Welfare and social services are sent there for gaining skills to seek jobs. Not always schooling, sometimes it is hygene related or they don't have reliable transportation etc. I would be teaching classes to about 15 people occasionally. I just really am trying not to get too attached to the idea of working there yet. lol. I tend to do that. Claim the position in my head.

I hope you are all doing amazing and staying op with lots of exercise.
Blessings all,
Annie

Heather – stress is such a killer. I hope today is going better for you.

Catherine – One of the things I love that I found in Canada are convertible gloves/mittens. They are kind of the best of both worlds. I hope this winter is easier for you now that you have had more time to adjust.

Luan – I should have put a smiley since I was half teasing. In fact, if you are going to spend your calories on something you want to make sure you are getting the absolutely best specimen to provide the greatest bang for the buck.

Annie – I am really glad to hear that your interview went so well! My fingers are crossed for you. Working to help other people seems such an ideal job for you since you are such an amazingly giving and caring person.

It feels so weird that the sun is setting so early now, and I know that it will only get worse. It feels like it’s time to leave work already and it is only 4:30. Since I have finished everything I had to get done today I would rather go, but I need to stay until 5:30. Oh well.

I have decided to mix up my workouts by doing shorter, higher intensity cardio and starting to do weights more often by splitting up arms and legs and alternating days. We’ll see how that goes in helping both my fitness and my interest level. I have been finding my regular routine has gotten so boring and I am terrified that one day I will wake up and feel like the idea of going to the gym is intolerable. I know there are other ways to workout (walking outside, dvds, etc.) but going to the gym really helps me with consistency. Once I am home it is really hard to get me moving. That also may be something I need to work on. If my home were more conducive to action than to curling up and nesting. . . anyone have any little tricks for that?

Lindsay, hey girl!! glad to see you back and it looks like looooooooooove for you and your guy!! Wow, meeting the parents is a BIG step. Have a great time!!!

Carol, Daisy loved the hug!!! Thanks! Have a safe trip!

Nancy, needlepoint is fun and so intricate. I hope you do give it a try. It will really occupy your mind. I didn't start thinking the way you are til I hit my 50 mark and probably because DS was dating and I didn't feel he needed me anymore. I don't know if it has to do with where you are in life or age, no matter what it sucks.I hope you can figure things out soon.

Valerie, WOOOHOOOO on TROTTING!!!!!

Heather, isn't it great to see our dogs doing better. I'm so glad your pug is acting like a puppy again!
I hope you can control your stress eating soon. I would hate to think of you gaining when you've worked so hard to get to where you are. You, my dear, are one of my role models. You lost so much weight, and are enjoying life now, don't let it creep up on you again....please.

Catherine...all I can say is BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Annie, the walk was fine. I went around 4 times and then I was like a frozen popscicle. Two of our dogs went with me so it was sorta fun to get outside.
I'm so glad the interview went well for you....hopefully the 2nd will go just as well. Good luck!!

I still have to do my exercise for today but I figure I will get busy with that after DH goes to work. I'll have to do a DVD since it is raining and cold outside.
Friday we have to take our youngest (Marilyn, my son's dog....they named her after Marilyn Monroe...go figure)to go get spayed. It's just one thing after another with these furry people. Hopefully it will settle her down some.
There are a couple of craft shows we will be going to this weekend too. I love going to them and hopefully next year we will be in them as sellers!
Doing good OP wise...staying within my 1400 calories a day. I've copied some of the TOPS menus and I'm going to get the ingredients this friday. I'm so weird. It seems that I've forgotten/don't wanna remember what the right foods are that I should be eating. When I first started this journey, I did really well and lost at least 10 lbs a month. I want to get back to that again or at least 8 a month. The fattening stuff started sneaking back into my life to where I can't differenate between fattening and healthy...does that make any sense?

Debbie

Hi everyone,

I had a bad day today and it led to a binge. It started off with the scale up more than 4 lbs. for no reason. My eating has been OP. I told myself it's the usual fluctuations, but then when the day immediately went in the wrong direction from there, I latched on to the gain and "awfulized" it, and saw it as the first of today's indications that my life is going down the tubes. I know this isn't rational, but there you have it. A downward spiral.

I went to the store and purposefully bought the items to binge on. It could have been worse. I had my hands on a bag of cookies as a finale to the event, but I put them back. I still ate probably 3000+ calories. All I can say is I'm back in it again as of now.

--------
Lindsey: good to hear from you. I take it that meeting the parents went ok. What did you end up bringing them?

Debbie: Thank goodness your furbaby is feeling better. It's so sad when they are feeling bad and we don't know what to do.

Good for you for getting your eating back in line. I'd find 1400 calories hard to stick to on most days, but if it works for you, I'm here to support you.

Gggirls: I hate this darkness all the time. It's hard to wake up in the dark and go home from work in the dark. It's throwing off my exercise schedule, too.

Nancy: Glad you're in a better frame of mind today. When you are ready to go for the CPA exam, I'll be here to cheer you on.

Ratkitty: Congratulations on your award. It is nice to be recognized. You must have done something spectacular.

Heather: From one stress eater to another, let's have a better day tomorrow.

Catherine: The sippy cup story is hilarious. The snowflake mittens are funny too. At least it's funny being an outsider. I can see where this would not feel good at all to the recipient of the gifts, even if he can laugh about it. A lifetime of not being seen can be difficult to overcome.

Annie: I am happy your interview went well. Good luck with the next round.

Valerie: Is trotting a good thing?

THANKS DEBBIE!
Yes BATTLE - Trotting is a WONDERFUL thing. In this case it was a 20 year long dream come true. To repeat what I wrote on the Old Hens list:
I TROTTED!

I TROTTED!!

I TROTTED!!!!!!!

It was a moment I've waited almost 20 years for, but more recently I've been terrified to face. It was heavenly. It was better than chocolate. Better than sex. Better than chocolate sex! It was so awesome that I wanted to scream... NOT a good idea on a rather flakey horse, so I just started crying instead.
Sorry to repeat myself for those that read the other list, but there's no other way to put it. The dream of having a friesian horse was the number one reason I gave up my home and job, started driving a semi, and then started this journey and lost the first 60-70 pounds.

Finally I own him, but now that I'm older and rounder, and he's turned out to be so much more horse than I realized, I've been fearing that if I ever did get to do more than a walk, it would at least be next spring. I was wallowing in the fear of failure lately, and in turn making failure happen. I've been WAY over the edge of a cliff diet-wise for the last several days. I guess I've been indulging in self-pity and hopelessness, and I've eaten everything that wasn't nailed down. One of the kitchen table legs is even missing. (OK, that was an exageration, but you know what I mean.)

Anyway, as brief as that trot was, it was a heavenly start, and a new beginning for hope that I'd just about lost. Part of me is happy in my new job, glad to be off the road, happy to be spending time with family, friends and critters. Part of me was ready to give up the dream I've held on to for literally 20 years. I was afraid.

Today I've been OP. I even tried to go to a TOPS meeting, but the business where the meeting was held has closed. There are other meetings, but tomorrow night I can't go to one. Tomorrow night I'm going to go live the dream again.

Cross your fingers that he doesn't toss me. That would kinda stink.

Anyway, BATTLE, hang in there! One bad day, a lousy 3k calories, is not the end of the world. You've been doing great. Nobody noticed my weight loss until I'd lost around 50 pounds. You have success written all over you! * And that goes for the rest of you!!!

LINDSEY, Cool that your sweetie has turned out to really be such a sweetie! This is the guy you met on-line, isn't it??

NANCY, I totally understand what you mean about going to the gym because working out at home is just harder to stick with. I hope you find a way to shake up your routine.

Have a good THursday everybody!

Hello everyone!

Well, I started and finished my paper this morning before class in about an hour and a half. I was all worried over it and turns out it was no big deal... it just sounded intimidating. I was supposed to evaluate the presentation of nature vs. nurture in two different psychology textbooks of my choosing. Turns out I can go on for days criticizing people for their simplistic ideas... haha. I only have a few more big assignments left for the semester, which is nice. The end is in sight!

Jed and I have been having tons of fun on the weekends. He goes out of his way to try and find entertaining things for us to do... concerts, plays, restaurants, etc. This weekend we're going to see Rain, which is a Beatles tribute band. We're also going to see Avenue Q at the end of the month... I'm so excited! But while all of the activities are fun, I honestly think I prefer the quiet time we spend just the two of us... like last weekend when we spent both Saturday and Sunday driving around the countryside. It was absolutely gorgeous with all of the leaves turning colors.

I have firmly set in place a rule of only eating out once a weekend and have informed Jed of this... it's just too difficult for me to eat out all the time like that. Even though we've been doing better about picking places that make the nutritional data available, it still doesn't mean that it's easy to eat healthy, especially for a vegetarian... most vegetarian dishes are pasta in nature at regular chain restaurants like that. Most of the reason we eat out for all of our meals is his unwillingness to have a stocked fridge. I told him that he's 25 and should know how to go grocery shopping and keep food in the house... haha. We're going to practice that this weekend... hope it goes according to plan!

Now for some personals...

Carol, I'm having a big problem adjusting to it being pitch black dark at 5:30 in the evening! I always love the fall, but it does take some getting used to...

Catherine, I can't imagine wearing multiple pairs of pants... you must really love that man to put up with cold like that! Haha.

Annie, I hope you get that job!

Debbie, I can't remember the last time I went to a craft show. I always used to go to the one my school held with my aunt when I lived in Louisiana and had the best time... maybe I should look into ones in my area.

Battle, I always find that when the scale isn't being nice to me that I find it easier to get into that depressed downward spiral... thankfully I usually catch myself before it gets to anything other than maintaining for a few weeks. Best of luck with that. I still haven't met Jed's parents... when I posted before I was talking about the upcoming Thanksgiving visit! Haha I guess I'm just a worrier... now I'm really not sure what I'm going to get them. One of these days I'm going to kidnap Jed and force him to go shopping with me so that I can get an idea of what they like... haha.

Valerie, congrats on trotting! I remember you talking about how long you had waited to do that... I'm so happy for you!