freddy - me too... and i'm pretty sure i haven't automatically gained three sizes from one binge, but i still feel so fat after one that i can't bear to let anyone see me. i hate it.

I definitely use my binges as an excuse to stay in. Part of me hates it because I feel so low backing out of plans with friends just to stay in and eat. But I really do feel like if I have been having a bad day or bad few days of binging, then I don't want to go out because I feel gross and I feel like I look fat!!! When I feel like that it is so much more comfortable to stay in and put on my comfy stretchy pajamas and eat more rather than put on tight jeans and go out!
And there are even times that I look forward to binging! Especially when I know I will be the only one home, I actually will think about what junky foods I want to eat, and then stock up and basically have a planned binge night in. There are times I am more excited for the planned binge nights in than I am for planned nights out. Sick. I hate it.

a million dittos. i have isolated sooo much and canceled plans, made excuses, even skipped work b/c i was in the food fog and just felt soooo bad i just didn't want to see anyone. so ashamed. but its cutting our noses off despite our faces. i can go out to eat with friends and have nothing if i am not hungry. no one cares! it is about the company. i'm sooo sick of this.

Yup, I can relate...going to Kroger's and picking up a whole cake, and going home with it and eating it one fork at a time that takes all night and hating myself while I do it...all because I had gone out to eat with some people and 'behaved' myself while they ate whatever they wanted.

dear pat,
been there done that my friend -- i always think as i'm doing it that oh look at me i am getting away with something so good and awesome and i win sort of thinking going on in my brain. but what am i winning? a stomach ache? more self hate? guilt? sugar and chemicals for my body to take on? missing out on a nice meal with friends where i could have ordered dessert like the rest of them did? it sounds so massively stupid when i write it out. just know you are not alone!!!

That's me in a nutshell. Thinking and obsessing about what I can't have is what made me a COE in the first place. It just doesn't work for me.