BrandNew: hugs and healing power to you. You can do this. One step at a time, one minute at a time, you can choose life.

I know for me, something finally started to change when I felt the fat closing in on me and slowly killing me. When I could directly feel that this was about life and death, and not so much about cute clothes (although they are nice and I look forward to them), my perspective changed.

Brandnewme -- I'm so sorry!!!! I'm glad you posted here... for all sorts of reasons, but mostly so you can get support and see it written out, as you said. Plus, I really believe that this community works best when we can talk about ALL the issues we're facing. It's not selfish at all -- in fact, maybe you're helping someone else too.

Please keep us posted and talk it out some more!!!!!

Brandnew-I understand exactly how you are feeling. I ended up in the ER in 2001 with chest pains, and thought I was going to die. It turned out to be high blood pressure induced angina, but the cardiologist made it real clear that he was basically going to be sending me home to die. I'm still on the diuretics and nitro, but a lot less than when I was first diagnosed. My former roommate had the swelling and edema, and after the medication and weight loss, she is fine now. You will be too. You'll find fear of dying is a good motivator to lose weight. I did. Just don't give up hope and don't give up on yourself. You can climb out of this one pound at a time. The first thing is to take your medicine exactly as prescribed. Follow whatever diet the doctor wants you on, or which ever one you think you can best stick to. Any diet will work if you stick to it. Then do whatever exercise the doctor will allow. Make this your full time job. We will be here for you when you need us. When your knees feel weak, remember that our shoulders are strong. Lean on us.

Brandnew,

I love what Catherine said!!

Many of us have been on the brink of death. All of us had have our health severely affected in one way or another. It's normal to be scared. Time to focus that energy on losing one pound at a time. Those pounds add up. The days you are on some sort of weight loss program will add up. I've been doing this journey since 2004. All of us here are in it for the long haul.

And btw, it's not selfish.. it's self-caring!!

We are here for you. Lean on us!

Luv,
Ratkity

brandnewme... hugs to you , you can do this i know you can!thanks to everyone else givng me some support i am trying to adjust my attitude and get back to where i was in the wl program.

Brandnewme - When I was at and around my highest weight of 404 pounds I felt like I was dying, or at least fading away. I had zero energy, I felt huge and ponderous, and was developing frightening edema that like you affected my right leg more than my left. I knew I had finally pushed my heart and body beyond what it could reasonably do. It was very upsetting. The good news is that within a very short time of balanced eating and with just a few pounds lost my health and heart function improved dramatically. It is within your reach, even if your reach feels very short right now. You absolutely deserve the gift of health and well being. So go get it.

I dusted off my old stationary bike last night and tightened up all the loose screws and nuts and bolts. Working out at the gym and walking on the off days has been great, but colder weather is on the way and walking won't be feasible on most days in the dead of winter. I'm glad to have a home option again. I used the bike for the first time this morning before breakfast...just for about 15 minutes. I've never exercised first thing in the morning before, but I'm going to see how it goes. I dragged it from a dusty basement corner to a slightly less dusty basement middle, so I took advantage of the situation and did a load of laundry at 6:30 am as well. I feel so productive!

Thanks so much to all you salsa tipsters! I'm definintely going to try many of those ideas, and really appreciate the input.

I read an article(post?) yesterday. (I don't remember where I found it as I have been searching all over for motivation/inspriation lately.)
It was about 1 pound, and how no one ever wants to lose just 1 pound, so that pound was able to sick around and bring friends etc.

It really helped me realize that the weeks when 1# is all the difference I see, it is still a sucecss! Those 1#s will add up.

My previous diet was one with supplements 4x's a day and the loss was really fast. But I found that as with fad diets, the faster you lose, the easier it is to gain it all back. (with extra in my case)
I am now just watching my intake and making sure I get moving daily.
I realize that this will be a slow change, but any change is going to be good!
And it's easier to do with a group, even if not IRL.
I'm glad I found you all!

Morning everyone!!!

Thanks for all the welcomes!!

Brandnewme - Thank you for posting. I know this seems like the end, but it could just be the beginning. I know you can do this! Your post really got me thinking. I know how unhealthy my current weight is, so why isn't that enough to get me going. Why do I have to wait until I am sick??

ravenflames - Link to 1 lb post http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=16319

MetaChick - I have been thinking about trying to exercise in the am too. That would mean 4:30 am for me, but I think if it's already done, then I won't habe an excuse. I don't have any equiptment, but I have an awesome step tape and walk away the pounds dvd. BTW - Looking forward to those veggie recipes!

Ratkitten - 108 lbs gone! wow! You inspire me!

Heather - I think I will start tracking my exercise minutes with you guys. I know that has been a big part of your success and I think I need to follow in your steps!

hi to everyone else!

Sandi - Thanks! That post has given me encouragement.

I have my first NSV to report!!
It's lunch time here at the office, and I needed to go to the store. Along the way are all my old favorite restaraunts where they don't serve things conductive to staying OP. I was suddenly SO hungry! (for all the wrong things)
At the store I bought a small bag of almonds to crunch on until I got back to the office where I warmed up a S.Beach wrap for lunch!
There were times in my past that I would forget all about whatever I planned to have and just binge on whatever I craved at the time.
This time I won! Woohoo!!

Mizm-I used to hate the food at those kinds of meetings. When I go to conferences now, I basically fill up my plate with lettuce that is if they haven’t already put the dressing on it. Having 7 pizzas just calling my name, I’d have gone nuts and had to take a sick day. Next time, grab them and run them down to the local homeless shelter. You can even get a tax receipt.

Cris-I’m still stiff, but some of that is because I’m trying to cut my muscle relaxer medicine in half again. I know with the damage to my back that I’ll probably always need some, but I just hate taking it. I take the lowest dose and cut it in half, half in the morning and half in the evening, and I’m trying to cut it down to only a half a day. I’m not trying to be a masochist, I’m just trying to see how much actual improvement I have made physically, and make sure I don’t hurt myself because I can’t feel it.

Toofat-I’ve been up and down the last week too. I think when it is a little harder that it makes it so much sweeter when you get into one of those easy rhythms. Just hang in there, and it will get easier again.

Sandi-The more the merrier over here. I’m just another black and white thinker who used to think that one cookie was the end of the diet forever. I actually had 5 cookies yesterday, but I wrote them all down. I may not have had the best nutrition yesterday, but I stayed in my calorie range, and today is a new day. As long as the sun comes up, and I can take a full lung of air in the morning, it is a good day, and I get a new one every 24 hours. I can be a bit of a curmudgeon, so if I say anything too abrupt, just ignore me.

Ratkity-I always tear things too. My bones seem to be too strong to break. All that ice cream as a kid I guess, but muscles and ligaments and tendons, it’s a wonder I don’t walk like a marionette puppet. Come to think of it, I probably do a bit. I tore all the muscles on my lower right back loose, so I kind of tilt that way. Don’t worry about the weather changing. At least you’re going to be above 5 (40F) degrees this weekend. It’s 12 here right now, but it’s supposed to get up to 20 this afternoon. That’s 68 American, but they are still saying that we are going to get snow by this time next week.

Meta-I also use salsa in eggs. Try using it as the base of a pita bread pizza. I put it on fish (that I hate but know I should eat) and make Baja tacos. Try it over a pot roast or turkey before throwing it in to roast. I love it in fat free cottage cheese as a dip for celery or broccoli or on a baked potato. I put a spoon in my tuna fish to zest it up a bit, or in chicken soup.

Battle-I never believed that I would ever get married. I kind of have to have dates first. For some reason I didn’t get many dates at 600 pounds. Once I lost enough weight to believe that I was actually going to live, I had to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. At 40+ I was a bit old for the whole “what do I want to be when I grow up” discussion, but that is basically where I was at. I had spent so long in basically a food coma that I had been so sedated by food, that I didn’t even know what I liked let alone what I wanted. I’ve had to rediscover things like what my favorite colors are. I have been slowly reclaiming bits and pieces of my life. My biggest fear was getting with someone who liked me large and wouldn’t want me to lose anymore weight. I was very careful, had some well directed help, and was also very lucky to have found the primate I am now married to. It could have been a disaster. I was so inexperienced and had been so broken that I could easily have gotten involved with someone unsuited. As to not being able to sleep, I had the same trouble in the beginning. I had sedated myself with food, so I slept hard if fitfully before. That coupled with having more energy from eating a better diet really screwed up my sleep patterns for awhile. Then moving here where the sun comes up at 3am in summer didn’t help either. Winter will be here soon enough, and then I can sleep until spring. Try going to sleep earlier, or take afternoon naps if you can. I survived on naps for months.

Debbie-Snow in August had better not be routine up here. I understand it isn’t unheard of either. I suspect if it does it will be light, and warm up again afterwards. I’m not mowing if it snows. My poor raspberry bushes. I don’t mess with long johns, I just wear two pairs of pants all winter, sometimes three. I get good use out of my old bigger pants. Although people look at me funny at church when I come in and strip my hat, coat, and then a pair of pants off. Like they’ve never seen anyone take off their pants before. I’m not sure what shocks them more, that I’m taking them off, or that I have another pair underneath.

I’m cutting out a new pants suit today. Everything else is done, so I have no more excuses. I’ve got a month to get everything ready for all the traveling we are fixing to do. I’ve got to stay focused and maximize my time right now because in two weeks I also start two more classes – Sacraments and Creeds. I have to go out to the college and get my library card and new text books some time in the next week too. So I have to get to it.

Christine -- That's a great NSV! I like to bring foods to work I like so that the thought of eating them is fun. Granted, sometimes the thought of all that other food is MORE "fun" -- but it comes with "strings" that my food doesn't! Great job!

Sandi -- Yay for joining us in exercise!!


I've thought a lot about why fear of dying doesn't motivate us to lose weight, when I was teaching a new seminar on persuasion, I read an article that struck me as being relevant... it's not the whole answer, but it really got me thinking. Persuasion is really all about changing attitudes and especially behaviors. It turns out that attitudes are MUCH easier to change than behaviors -- and I bet that comment surprises no one.

One thing that's excellent for changing attitudes is fear -- take the classic case of trying to persuade HS students not to drive drunk after a prom. What's one thing a lot of schools do to try to persuade them? They put a wrecked car from a drunk driving accident out in front of the school. And as a fear tactic it definitely changes attitudes. Students realize that driving drunk is dangerous and they shouldn't do it. But it's not enough to get them to stop.

What else is needed? Several things. First, a plan. For this example it would be something like: have a designated driver, and as a last resort, be able to call mom or dad or someone to pick you up. OKay, but that's still not enough.

The last two pieces are about efficacy -- the belief that something works (plan efficacy) We need to belief that the plan WILL work and (and this one was a key for me) that we can actually DO the plan (self efficacy)!!!!

Well, transfer that to losing over 100 pounds... First, we need to be scared and realize we should lose weight. Check. I think most of us are there.

Second, we have to have a plan. There's tons of plans out there. Pick one!

Third, we have to believe the plan works (plan efficacy). Okay, here's where it gets trickier... what do we mean by "work". I'd settle for -- people lose weight with the plan. Luckily for 3fc, we can identify lots of plans like that.

Fourth, we have to believe we can DO the plan. This is where I always got hung up. After all, most of us have tried and failed before. Here is where finding the right plan for you AND giving yourself permission to take the time to MAKE it work for you is so important.

I still don't know why I was successful this time -- I don't think I had self-efficacy to begin with. But I took baby steps and was willing to give each a go... I don't know.

Anyway, I blathered on again!!!!

Slow week scale wise for me despite doing everything on target. Don't you just hate those weeks?

Keeping busy started incorporating more DVDs into my workouts. I've been getting back to Turbo Jam and Step (Go Step for Beginners) and some walk away the pounds and some walking outside when the weather is nice enough.

Feeling alitte bit frustrated I haven't dropped much size wise (maybe a tight 26 to a 24) so trying to be patient as last summer I dropped measuremnts a lot quicker because I started weight training sooner (I was even fitting into some 20s at 260) I do plan on getting back to that as soon as my basement is cooler and I can rely on being able to do it every other day.

Hope everyone else is having a better week.

Thanks for all the encouragement everyone as I get back on track with my eating.

Brandnewme, I want to extend my encouragement to you in this time where I’m sure you feel very scared and in need of support. It’s good that you caught this when you did, and just remember that we are all here to listen when you need us, it is not at all selfish to share these things because we want to hear them and to help you feel better about them. I will keep you in my thoughts, and I KNOW that you can lose the weight and get out of the danger zone.

As for me, I’m doing alright… I’ve been good and OP the last few days and I’m losing weight. There are just a few things in my life right now that are troubling me, which is bringing me down, but for once I am not using food to throw a blanket over those feelings and comfort myself. This makes it harder on me, having to face my demons without my security blanket, but in a way it is very satisfying too. I woke up from a series of disturbing dreams last night and just wanted to cry into a bowl of ice cream, but I told myself calmly that food is not going to solve my problems, not now and not ever, so it’s no use getting fat over it because that will only make me more miserable.

To make a comment about sexuality and weight issues (BattleAx brought this up earlier in the thread)—definitely a topic worth discussing. When I was at my highest weight, I had a whole slew of issues on this topic, except mine manifested in the opposite way that yours did, BattleAx: I had offers from men that I really liked and wanted to be intimate with, one in particular, but even just kissing him totally revolted me, to the point of nausea. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I was asexual or something, because while I was attracted to him (and others) in a way, I was repulsed by the idea of being intimate. This went away as I began to lose weight and come to terms with my negative body image, and I realize now that my disgust was probably because I was so disgusted with my own body that I projected those feelings onto him, making the whole experience of intimacy unbearable for me.

Anyway, I would love to discuss the topic more… I hope to see a new thread about weight issues and sexuality soon because I would definitely join in with all the others who voiced their interest.

That’s all for now… take care everyone

PS all of those great salsa suggestions sound delicious… I’ll be sure to try one soon!!