I have been reading the thread because the viewpoints are so intriguing to me. I would like to be frank, though - since it seems like the thing to do here. I'm reading a book that discusses a problem that I never recognized I had. Instead of telling people what I want and need, I act unhappy until they notice my unhappiness and ask me what's wrong, then act unhappy until they successfully fix me. And they're never successful at it because I won't let them! It's a crazy way to try to communicate.

Susan - I don't think anyone was offended by anything that you said. I don't think I've ever responded directly to you, but I do really enjoy your posts on many of the forums. You are so insightful, and as a successful loser and now maintainer, I love to have the opportunity to learn from you. While I personally feel that it can be helpful for some people (read: me) to understand why they eat, I think your viewpoint has a lot of merit to it. BattleAxe also makes a great point that it's really hard to understand the underlying causes of overeating when you're still using food to numb and hide those causes. Please continue to be frank and honest. It is so interesting and enlightening.

Colleen - I gotta say I agree with you and wyllen. I believe that everyone who has posted has done so in good faith, but there are a variety of interpretations as to why the thread exists. It may have been intended to be an accountability thread, and the discussion may have enhanced the parameters for that thread. I'm not sure I'm clear on it. Clarification is needed, and I'm sure Jen will do a great job clarifying.

Dawn2Dusk - Despite your disclaimer, your posts are articulate and insightful. Just reading through the posts, I don't think anyone would agree that discussions are more fun without you. If, however, they are not helpful for you in your journey, I understand why you would choose to discontinue your participation in them. But here's the "tough love" part - from me to you. Please understand that it is not intended to hurt. If you need something different or would find something different to be useful in your weight loss journey, it is your responsibility to ask for it rather than just threaten to take your toys and go home. For example, I can't tell you how many times I have been angry with my husband in the past for bringing me candy bars when he doesn't know I'm trying to make healthier choices. Kind of a lame example, I know, but I am finally understanding that I have to tell him what I want and need before I expect him to provide it for me. I would urge you to wait until the thread is further defined. Then, if it's useful, please participate. If it's not what you need, create a new one and carefully define the purpose of that one. I have never met a group of more caring, nurturing individuals than the ones on this site. Please use this resource if it makes your journey easier. We love to have you here.

LaurieDawn, I think you hit the nail on the head. I think whether this is to be an accountability thread, or discussion, or combination, we need to reign in the focus, and set some guidelines.

Jen, since you started the thread, I think you are by default, if not appointment, our fearless leader.

You can lay down the law, or give us guidelines for hashing it out!

Since we've muddled it up a bit, maybe once it's decided we can reopen the thread, with the guidelines posted in the first post of the new thread.

Just a little note, I would love a thread where we could post individual goals (maybe each of us weekly) and by the next week we would post whether or not we met the goal, and what our new goal was for the upcoming week. If this is a thread where we could do that, great, if not I'll work on starting one.
If we do decide to do something like that, I don't care whether I get hugs, or growls from y'all.

For me, it isn't about the content of the feedback. I mean I love y'all and everything, but your approval or disapproval of me doesn't affect me all that much y'know? But, it's easy to get complacent when you know no one is looking over your shoulder. I mean if I cheat, no one is going to know but me. And I guess I could lie to y'all, but what would be the point in that! But, if I know I'm going to report in, and have promised to be honest, it might keep the goal more front in center in my mind. And it would get embarassing after a while to keep setting goals and not accomplishing them.

Oh yeah, I forgot to pult LOL in there where it was needed, so reread my post and throw a few in here and there. LOL!

Ah the delightful Jilly!
This is something like the conversation I just had with my husband ....
I laughed out loud in delight.
Dh asked what was going on.
me ... Here's Jillybean 720. I adore this gal. She's smart, funny, well spoken .... I want her thin! I just really really like her .... "
DH ... is this the one (he's not familiar with the term thread) about being frank and honest?
me ... Yup.
DH ... then tell her.

So while I'm at it ... Nancy ... honey ... you exercise with an uncommon dedication, it is absolutely inconceivable that you haven't had uncommon dedication to your health, well-being and weight loss, you have lost an extraordinary amount of weight. Do not envy anyone! You, baby, have got it!

In the other threads you mentioned, discussions crop up here and again, without a problem, so I still think maybe some guidelines still are in order.
Maybe because no one is arguing the definition of 300+ or who feels comfortable belonging to the thread (Though I remember a discussion or two cropping up in the calorie counter thread heading in that direction).

A mission statement anyone? (kidding - we kind of need one, but boy do I shudder at the word - I heard it too often when I was working, it seemed we needed a mission statement for everything but going to the bathroom).

Ah!

I thought the other thread was for the long, drawn out discussions about the how's and why's, and this was just the non-pity party thread. In other words, this was the place you discussed your gains or didn't lose weight for the week, and others would, er, let you have it for not taking care of yourself. No holds bar, no coddling.

Longer posts are kind of killing the purpose of this thread and could chase folks away that just want a place to discuss their poor eating habits and need a kick in the butt. I don't think this was Jen's idea of what she wanted in this thread.

I could be wrong, though.

I use "LOL" every once in awhile, because I DON'T want to offend someone who may take something the wrong way. Smilies don't always generate what the poster is trying to say, either- they, too, can be misunderstood.

Okay guys, after reading all of your posts, this is NOT what I intended!

I'm going to start another thread, and list some guidelines I would like to use. And if I see the thread going off topic, I will steer it back on the right direction.

Look for the thread titled "Frank and Honest Support (A Pity-Free Zone).

Laurie - What book is that? Totally sounds like my husband...

Super Title

Thanks Susan! I overreacted a bit to what you said. I totally understand the frustration of hearing people talk about their emotional issues with weight loss and then not doing anything about it. For me it has been to figure out what is going on and then take it to the next step - what I am I going to do about it? I guess it is the difference between talk and action. In the end it doesn't matter so much how you get to the action stage as long as you do.

I apologize to everyone for having been part of hijacking this thread from where it was intended to go.

The Solution by Laurel Mellin. Very interesting.