CJ...if you've discovered a miracle to curb my desire to snack, please share! I go through periods when I'm just not that hungry and then I have times when I'm completely ravenous and I can't get enough. I've stopped snacking for the last few months because when I snack it's too easy for that snack to turn into a binge. When I feel the urge for something sweet I have a cup of tea instead. That's been working for me but there are sometimes when I really just want to eat. I felt that way last night. My dinner was so good that I found myself wanting more. Luckily it was pretty late so I just went to bed.

Anyway...it's my time of the month so I will not be weighing myself until Sunday. I just won't do it.

ChickieBoom - no miracles today. At least not yet, hah! I did okay, not great, today, came in just at my calorie level. I would have eaten more if I wasn't tracking my food. Today was supposed to be my training day, but my trainer cancelled last minute. Sadly, it was just after I ate my breakfast - which I only eat on training days. As an intermittent faster, I try to not start eating until lunch at noon except training days.

Anyway, I'm just not excited today. I didn't do any exercise except running errands. I guess that counts for something. When I had my sciatica, I couldn't even run errands. I couldn't even walk across the room without excruciating pain. I always have to put things in perspective, and writing helps.

Tomorrow I'm going to physical therapy for the first time (well, the first time this year). My lower back and hip has been giving me fits. Wish me luck. CJ

GOOD LUCK with your physical therapy! I hope you're able to start the healing process with your hip and lower back pain. I know how frustrating and painful it is to have that pain. I helped to take care my mom after her knee replacement and she's having the other knee done in a few months.

I've been really good about working out this week after having a lackluster couple of weeks earlier this month. I've started going to a stretching class at my gym that I love. We use tennis balls, stretching straps to get really good deep stretches. It's been a really nice addition to my workout regiment. Although the stretch instructor did caution me about my twice weekly spin classes. Apparently avid spinners are notorious for getting hip injuries. I can't imagine that twice a week would be that bad but I did hear what she said and I'm taking stretch and strength training to help combat any issue I might have.

I did spin this morning and I think I'll go back to the gym this evening for the 8pm stretching class. That should be an awesome end to the day and I should sleep like a baby tonight.

Hi Chickieboom -
The physical therapist was able to poke me where I hurt, so that's always a good thing since I can't explain my problems very well. He gave me some back-bending exercises and told me not to fall over when I do them, haha.

You sound as if you're doing so well with your exercise program! I have been doing the 2x weekly trainer sessions which are good, but for the past couple of weeks I have added in some recumbent biking on off days as well as some water exercise which I think I'll do tonight. I have noticed my bad hip seems worse the next day after the recumbent bike, but it's not always easy to tell what causes pain unless it's happens right when you're doing something. That bike comment by your instructor was interesting, I would think biking would help strengthen your hips.

I haven't lost any weight this week yet, but you never know. I'm keeping the faith!

CJ you seem to be doing really well with your weight loss. I won't step on the scale when it's my time of the month. Fluctuations make me crazy and I don't want to be tempted to eat something I shouldn't because the scale says something that I don't like. That sounds really crazy when I typed it out. I know it's completely wrong to be that emotionally tied to a number, especially when I know that I'm eating well and exercising.

The truth is that being almost 300 pounds was emotionally draining and it took me a long long time to finally decide to make a change. I look in the mirror most days and see the same person. That's what kept me heavy for so long...knowing that this would be a long journey so I try to be really careful with things that might trigger me.

Although I definitely have noticed a lot of changes. I rode my bike to a park I've really wanted to go to, it was 3 miles away. I would NEVER have been able to do that before. I'm thrilled about that. I can walk long distances without having knee pain and gasping for breath. I sleep through the night most nights. I'm pretty sure that I was developing sleep apnea and there were several times that I woke myself up. That hasn't happened once since I started losing weight.

All in all this has been a very positive experience.

I hope it's been good for you too.

Hi ChickieBoom -

Weight is highly psychological. For example, it’s hard for me to believe I weigh as much as I do. I look in the mirror and I can be 300 or 200, and to me I look almost the same. I know it’s not true, of course. I fit into smaller clothes, people compliment me, I can stand and walk longer, many things have changed and yet my mind doesn’t catch up.

Years ago, at my first job out of school, I gained up to 180 pounds and ended up joining Weight Watchers and losing back down to 145 or so, which was my normal weight. I felt so huge and frumpy at 180 pounds. Now being 180 pounds sounds like a dream weight to me.

Being heavy is very draining physically and emotionally. But to lose (or maintain) lower weight is very time consuming - and I’m not just talking about the exercise and the food preparation. It’s all the mental stuff that is required when you lose weight. I have to be dedicated. I have to write in forums like this, or in my online journal. I have to read my affirmations. I have to plug my food into a calorie/carb counter. I have to listen to meditations. I have to make rules, some of which are unbreakable and some of which are more flexible -- and I have to figure out which ones are which so I don’t trigger a bad food day or drop my weight loss journey altogether.

I'm sure I will have to continue the mental stuff forever. One thing that always interests me is -- if I’m losing weight, I feel positive and happy. If I’m gaining, it’s the opposite even though I might be exactly the same weight. So it’s not the weight per se, it’s the direction I’m going. I guess that’s just the way it is in life.

Sometimes I talk to my body as if it were a separate person. I think it has done really well and carried me this long in my life, and now I’m trying to assure it that it’s okay to let go of some fat because we (as a team) don’t need it. I read about how to communicate with your subconscious mind - what I tend to think of as my reptile brain. As Psychology Today puts it - “It is in charge of fight, flight, feeding, fear, freezing up, and fornication.”

I don’t remember where I stole these rules from, but I think they’re good when trying to reach your subconscious self:
1. First, your affirmations must be personal: Use the word “I.” One of the best ways to start an affirmation is to use the phrase “I AM” or “I have.”

2. Second, your affirmations must be written in the present tense. To your subconscious mind, there is no future. Your subconscious mind only responds to commands given to it in a present tense.

3. Third, you must state your goal in terms of the positive. Your subconscious moves you towards whatever you think about whether it’s positive or negative. Therefore, write what you want, not what you want to avoid.


You sound as if you’re doing really well. What a wonderful bike ride! And getting rid of sleep apnea is really important. Your body is becoming really happy, and I’m happy for you.

Sorry about the mental meanderings. I just really want to lose this weight and I’m trying to sort it all out, and I use writing as my method. You sound smart and savvy and driven, so here I am, venting to you!

By the way, I am going to start a 230’s thread because I just came in at 239.8 this morning. I will check back and see how you’re doing, and I know you’ll do really well.

CJ

CJ...congratulations on reaching the 230s!! I know how good it feels to hit each new milestone. And I agree with and can relate with so much of what you said.

There are weights that I vividly remember in my mind on the way up and on my trips down. Perspective is such a powerful thing. I try very hard to remind myself to take one day at a time and focus on the positive parts of the journey. It's a struggle for me to be kind to myself and proud of the progress I've made so far. I love the idea of positive and specific affirmations in the present tense. Your post was full of helpful and much appreciated reminders.

Weight is highly psychological. I am an emotional eater so it's not surprising that my weight gain and my relationship with food would be highly intertwined with my mental state. This is something I would very much like to explore with a therapist when I'm able.

I've been eating right and exercising so I will not be hard on myself when the number on the scale doesn't say what I might like.

ChickieBoom - I kept an online journal when I lost weight about 10 years ago. I copied things from the internet that were compelling for me, and added in things of my own, which is where I got the affirmations and other things that I shared with you.

One milestone that is coming up for me is my high school reunion. Even though I didn't start this journey because I am having a reunion, it is a good touchstone because I also had a high school reunion 10 years ago while losing weight.

I also kept a daily weight tracker which is how I know how much I weighed at certain milestones. Anyway, I am now 11 pounds below my weight 10 years ago, and that makes me feel good. I'm hoping to get down to 229 by August 22 (the start of the reunion). It's a pretty aggressive goal and my body does have a mind of its own. But I just feel it would be so great to be 20 pounds below what I was at my last reunion. It will give me a lot of confidence. The funny thing is I was looking in my closet and I still have clothes from 10+ years ago that I will probably wear, lol.

I hope you join me on the 230's thread sometime soon.

CJ

ChickieBoom - have fun in Florida!

Hi ChickieBoom!
I actually started a "Getting out of the 220's" thread this morning! I really did well in the 230's - possibly because I have a high school reunion coming up and it helped motivate me! However, I'm taking a month-long trip and wonder how my weight will go this month!

Best of luck to you, and hope to see you soon. CJ

CONGRATULATIONS on making it to the 220s!!!! You're doing amazingly well!

And thank you so much for coming back to this thread to check on me...it means a lot. Talking to you has been really helpful. I'm not around anyone else who is near my weight who understands how I struggle and the negative voices that try to keep me fat (as crazy as that sounds).

Having a reunion is great motivation. I'm going to London for my birthday in November and I'm really hoping to be down significantly. I lost my way for a little bit. I was snacking on cashews and sesame sticks that I was tracking but I wasn't weighing them so I really had no clue how much I was eating. My food estimations are not reliable by any stretch of the imagination.

I also have been less committed to my workouts...maybe I needed a bit of a break but I'm back at it again. I went to my spin class this morning and I'll go again tomorrow.

I really really really need to start weight lifting again. That will be my goal this week...to get at least one hardcore weightlifting session done before I head to Florida on Saturday.

Congrats again on the 220s...I'm really excited for you!

I’m in Florida and I was able to fit on all the rides at Universal Studios. It felt so good.

I weighed in at 240.1 yesterday. Hovering on the edge of the 230s. Maybe I can get there in a couple of days...we’ll see.