That is such a buzz, seeing people you haven't seen for a while.

I went to Body Combat last night, wow. The instructor is amazing, very motivating, very fit, and boy oh boy, is he fit!!!! In both meanings of the word. Well he comes up and talks to me at the end of the class, and wants to know my name, how long I have been working out, and stuff. He even gave me a hug. That's worth the feeling I have this morning, that i have been run over by a Mack truck!!!! I told him in six months I won't be the fattest in his class any more. I certainly was by no way the unfittest though, and fitness is what matters.

I think I can handle the stress for another there weeks, well I hope so. The department is so stretched at the moment, but what annoys me is there are at least 10 fully trained advisors in our department who *could* help and arguably do a better job than I, but won't take a step back and help out. If everyone just did a day of it each, then the problem would be solved.

I got proper yelled att by a consultant yesterday, and I nearly lost my rag. I didn't put up with it though. Just coz he gets paid more in a year than I'll earn in ten, it doesn't give him the right to treat me like a pile of *beep*

I'm off to gym this morning, then we are going out to a concert, June Tabor. I don't really want to go, but dh thinks its a special treat. Sigh.

WTG YP!

I'm a bit blue, angry and still all round blah! I ate 3 bourbons for breakfast as well as a bowl of cereal I think it's time to put the brakes on (as my mother so delicately terms it!).

I'm going to have a very early night tonight and then I'm off to the gym tomorrow for a full body workout. I've lost the definition I gained in my arms last week I'm also taking full responsibility for eating like a I am conscious of making better decisions today. I will even take a walk to Tesco at lunch to find some more apples!

Sarah Ann

I was just at that same designer outlet last week, although I usually go to the one near York, which is just down the road from us. But sometimes we have to go to Pontie (Or is it Castleford, I always get them mixed up?) as it has kids' shoes.

If you catch the bra shop sale, you can get great sports bras there (Shock Absorbers) for a fiver - usually £35.

One good thing about the new bits is the Monsoon outlet - I just got a hundred quid skirt I'd had my eye on since January for £15. Also got my running shoes at Freeport - a £90 pair of Nike Air Vapors for around £40 I think they were. It's chav central though and we find it a bit depressing - so usually combine it with a duty visit to relatives who live in West Yorks, to get it over with.

Also got two pairs of Dr Scholls sandals at the outlet - one bright pink, one just boring brown - for £30 I think it was.

It is cool seeing people who haven't seen you for months. One of DH's friends saw me recently and told him I looked stunning - which I don't but apparently he came over all wistful because his wife is very overweight and won't do anything about it. I suspect the poor woman hates the sight of me now, luckily I haven't bumped into her yet, but DH got the distinct inmpression she's sick of hearing about my wonderful weight loss, and why can't she do the same, etc. I also saw my best friend recently who works in London and I haven't seen her for a few months and she also had a big reaction - which shocked me as sometimes you forget you must look different. I did warn her I'd taken up running! It's the reactions of people who haven't seen you in a while that is the best thing, really.

Last time lots of people saw me I was size 18-20 and now I'm a 12, but to me I still look the same in the mirror.

It's so hard, if I get the exercise right, my food is up the creek and vice versa. I have to make a concious effort to concentrate on the foods I can eat and that I like, that are helpful to what I am trying to achieve.

I have lost it at work, and am back doing my normal job for today. It's much better! I through a bit of a paddy, and am having lunch bought for me from the manager of the other department.

Cheap sports bras and Monsoon clothing! You are speaking my language! Shame I do not drive!!

I only popped in to the Monsoon shop - strange layout! I saw some beautiful evening dresses and gorgeous tops massively reduced but I didn't really look because I don't think they go up to an 18 (or even possibly a 16). Maybe when I've gone down another couple of dress sizes I'll go back and have another look but, as you say, it IS chav central. I don't know what they've done to it but a two or three years ago it was buzzing all the time and yesterday there was virtually no one there.

I loved the M&S outlet - I wanted a plain black T shirt and, as we walked in, we could see racks and racks of them - but as we flicked through them we realised that the whole lot (about 300 of them) were all size 14!

I never look at bras - for years I have had a AA cup size and, what with the weight loss and exercise, they've gone even smaller

Kyk, good for you for throwing a wobbly! Its not right that they put on you like that. Could it possibly be the stress which is making it more difficult to make the right food choices?

I think its at Castleford but we usually combine it with a trip to the Burberry factory shop at Ponte - not to wear ourselves but to sell on eBay!

Sarah - Monsoon go up to at least 18, if not 20 so get yourself some pretty clothes girl!

for you Kykaree, at least they know you're having a hard time now!

I've got 5 months till the wedding! After these past few days I'm slightly worried that I'll end up looking like a in the dress! So I'm back to it, I need monthly goals! - I could lose 20lbs before then... I should make that my goal really! Slow and steady wins the race, let's see what we can do!

Monsoon in some lines go up to a 22, and in everything else at least a size 18.

Stress is not making my food choices any easier, that's why I am exercising a fair bit, because a) it offsets the food issues a bit and b) it helps with stress management.

Frus, try not to panic. You could well loose 20lbs, this is true, but first, aim to get your head right. It's gonna be a pretty full on 5 months, and you may not be perfect all the time, but we'll help!!!

You will look gorgeous in the dress as you are now, you don't HAVE to lose any more weight.

Hi ladies....my partner is headed your way, Kylie!! He lands in Manchester at 7:30 am your time tomorrow morning. He has a ticket for the footy match against Leeds in Preston. I packed his PNE shirt and scarf--he is ready to go!! He's going to stop by my office on the way to the airport. You all take good care of him for me treat him like I would

Frus, thanks for the advice on what to do with the food. I'm also going to give some to my partner to take with him for the trip.

Headed for the gym in a few hours. I am really enjoying exercising, believe it or not!! I can see how you gals get addicted to it!

Yes I could lose 20lbs but in reality I know I probably won't, but it's nice to look at it like that to rev me up a little bit. And I KNOW it's going to be bonkers, but hopefully not too bad!!! So I should get started now, so I don't get all bogged down with the stressy bits later!

Oh DF is taking me out for dinner tonight. Again. I wanted haddock and baked potato that I've got in the freezer. HUFF! Ah well, salad for me again!

Sarah Ann - I'm here to tell you Monsoon defo go upto an 18 at Freeport because I also spotted this skirt I've wanted for ages - funky eye-popping psychedelic 1970s style thing - and they only had one. Size 18! I was spitting pips because when I was a size 18, the last one of something I wanted would always be size 12! I think there's gremlins work in those places do that to us, or summat! It is a weird lay-out. The new bigger Next in there doesn't seem to have any more stuff than the old, smaller Next, I don't get it...

2frus - be careful you don't lose so much you need another even smaller dress!

Okey dokey - next time we go near Castleford I'll stop in at Monsoon and take a look.... although I have sort of promised myself (and DH) that I won't buy any more clothes until I'm a size 14 - this getting smaller lark is getting VERY expensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I get to a 14 I'll then make an executive decision as to whether I want to get any smaller. The last time I was size 10 I looked like awful - all haggard and drawn - like I belonged in a morgue.

I didn't like that new Next to Nothing (stupid name!) at all - almost everything I looked at was on the wrong sized hangers (size 10 on size 16 hangers, etc) and the stuff I did find that I liked AND fitted was either dirty or damaged.

Frus - Looking at it from a logistics point of view... you won't want to lose any more weight after you have ordered or bought your dress / undies / shoes, etc. Dresses never look quite right if they have been altered. Like Kyk says, these next few months will be stressful and you don't NEED to lose any more weight - so perhaps it might be a good idea to work on maintaining after you've arranged the dress. (I'm not going to say 'just' maintaining because, for me, maintaining is harder than the actual weight loss itself.)

Jen - You're right - exercise is addictive. Literally! I read somewhere that the body produces a feel-good hormone/subsance when we exercise and we can get addicted to that feeling. I hope your partner gets back to you very quickly.

Kyk - Yes, stress does that to me as well. Good idea to go for exercise as a way of managing the stress - although watch out that tiredness from the exercise doesn't contribute to your ability to handle the stress.

I'm doing a virtually fat free version of Delia Smith's Chicken Basque for dinner. Its a gorgeous dinner and very easy to prepare but every time I cook it I get this mental image of Delia in a basque....

Delia in a basque is not the mental image I really needed at this moment in time

I am feeling good today, nice to be doing my normal job and feeling in control.

I had a sweet at work today though, it seemed rude not to when it was a free lunch LOL But I had a meringue with fruit, so it could have been worse. It could have been the chocolate cherry pudding which was as big as a standard housebrick!

I'm getting all organised now for London in June, have to start getting the last bit of Australia organised too!!!

We're going to June Tabor tonight, special prize for anyone who has heard of her, no e-cheating or googling though!!!

Yeah I have heard of her- Is she sort of folky? Not really my cuppa.