Thank you, Dana. No, the only thing that indicates cancer to them is the CAT she had last Monday. Apparently, it looks a lot like it. We will find out what we do next when we go next Fri to the specialist. Our chins are up and we're doing well.

BTW, thank you so much for the card. It came at the absolutely perfect time. It was a "blue" day and I opened it at mom's and it cheered both of us.

Thanks for the support.

Love,

the appt is Fri at 9:30 am est. Have to leave here at 7am. My aunt and uncle are driving us up, thank God. I, too, am sorry I missed your birthday, Dana. Hope it was happy! Have fun on your vacation. Deborah, I'm praying that you get your 3 bedroom SOON!!! What's up, Daphne? I'm doing ok. Yesterday I was flat on my back exhausted! Mom even got supper for us. Maybe I should be tired more often and she'd get back on her feet. Don't know. I'm much better today since I spent yesterday on the couch. My boss said not to worry about working this week. That's a load off my mind. Talk to you soon, I hope.

Love,

Hello Everyone!!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY EVERYONE
Gayle...Your mom and you are in my prayers. Please post once you find something out! I hope your back is doing better today. That was really great of your boss to give you the week off. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. Take care of yourself while you are taking care of Mom.

Well, I have to get off here and get Joseph from summer school, but I just wanted to share with everyone my frustration. I have a 93 van that I am still paying on (I bought it used) well, it has automatic seatbelts and the driver's side seatbelt is stuck and wont move. And now the motor which makes the belt move on and off, is stuck on and grinding the whole time I drive the car. I called the dealer and they can't get to it until Tuesday....so I had to call BJ and see if I could borrow her car while she is out of town this weekend (They are going to Vegas for Lenny's family reunion). I know that the dealer is going to charge me major bucks, but I don't have any other chose...the seatbelt is hooked directly up to the ingition and I can't turn off the motor anyway...I tried to find a fuse...but it doesnt have none.

Well really need to leave...HAVE A GREAT 4TH!!
love to all,
Deborah

Deb that's terrible about your van. We have a 93 blazer that's still owed as well. Actually I haven't paid on it in 2 months but the good thing is we only had 3 payments left of $200. It was a buy here pay here thing so I figured I would have heard from them sometime. I was going to tell them that I had mailed them in but then I thought it was paid for?? We were told 12 payments to begin with and have paid that many but I honestly don't know where the papers are unless they are in the blazer and it's at my MIL's while we have her Explorer for the trip. I hope you can get that fixed soon though. I bet it is expensive. Kevin had an escort once with those type of belts but they were annoying to me.

Gayle hope mom is ok and is getting some good news. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers while we're gone. Most likely I won't have PC access unless I go pay a certain amount per minute to read. I'm certainly not taking mine the way I did a few years back. We're only taking one vehicle this year.

Ann and Daphne. I hope you guys are doing well and are enjoying summer. I have an address label for everyone so I plan on getting post cards to mail while I'm gone.

I have loads of packing to do since we haven't done any yet. Kevin is even working today so that means I have to take our garbage off as well. We leave either during night tonight or very early in the morning. He hasn't told me what he wants to do yet. We come back on the 11th (next sunday). I will miss you all terribly! I did weigh this morning and after I had gained a couple pounds and didn't exactly deserve my 15 pound chicky, I am back down to 241 this morning so it's 15 pounds lost again. I hope to walk a lot this year at beach and we probably will be we are only so many yards from the beach to our campsite this year and we are renting a golf cart for trips to the bath houses. Well I hope you all have a safe 4th and I love you all!

Okay Ladies Real quick!
I got a call from the dealer about my van and it is going to cost $695 to fix, so I told them I couldn't afford it. But it is still going to cost me $120 since they looked at it. I am starting to slip into a depression. I am exhausted from all this I am thinking about trying to buy a new vehicle...I don't know if I can aford it, but this old one is costing me so much and I am still paying on it, so why not pay on a new one.

Got to go!!
LOVe to all!
Deborah

Deborah I am so so sorry about that damn van. I hate it when things like that happen. Why are they charging you so much? That is like looking to see what the trouble it for 2 hours isn't it? I would assume that they are smarter than that to be able to tell what the trouble was sooner. Can you question the amount of the bill and see if it can be lowered?
Gayle how is Mama feeling? I am so sorry I haven't posted to ask about her sooner. How are you doing? Did all the Christmas stuff get packed away?
Dana I thought that you had left already! I think I need a calender to keep me clear on who is leaving and when!
I am having major allergy trouble here. I am using 2 inhalers thru out the day as well as talking generic claratin. Robert is gone and I love my quiet house! Jason is gone as well so it is just Megan and me. I am sleping in and going to bed late. Sorry that was mean to tell all of you wasn't it? Jason worked Sunday thru Saturday last week. He tok Sunday and Monday off this week and now he might work till Saturday again.
Hope to post later today,
Daphne

Hi Everyone
I am still here. It's gardening time and our vegetables are coming in and it takes time to get them all put up. I am doing good and so are the rest of my family. Things are still calm with my 16 yr old(knock on wood). I decided I wanted to take the CNA classes and they were going to be offered in July at our local hospital, so I went by and picked up an application and I had to go for an interview( just like I was applying for a job). That was last Thursday and they told me they had 30 applicants to interview and if I was selected for the class I would be notified by Wed. July 7 and if I didn't hear from them not to call. Well I haven't heard from them. I guess they think "BIG" people can't do the job. I should have kbnown I wouldn't be called when one of the interviewers got up and said she had an errand to do and walked out of the room. Oh well maybe I couldn't hold out to do the job. I have got to find a job so say a preayer for me that I will find a job that I will be able to do. Al right enough about me, what about all of you.

Gayle, you and your mother are in my prayers. Please let us know as soon as you find out something. We are all here for you.

Dana, congrats on your weight loss. I hope you have a good toime at the beach. Do you know that Tim and I have been married for 18 years and we have never been on a vacation. We have never been able to afford to go on one. How is Brett doing with his diabetes. Is he on shots or on pills. How are Laken and Logan. How are things with you and Kevin.

Deb, you are in my prayers. I will be praying that you get that 3 bedroom appartment. I hope you and Joseph are feeling better. How are Darcie and BJ. I enjoyed your pictures and loved your Shreik ears. Looks like you all had a good time.

Daphne. I know your LOVIN IT since Robert is gone. How are things with you and Jason. When have you gotten to see Tony. How is Megan. When does school start. Ours is suppose to start Aug. 4, but I heard they may wait and start in Sept. cause the new high school isn't finished yet. I am pray for Aug. 4 to be the starting date.

Well I will try not to wait so long about posting next time. Oh Happy Birthday to those of you that had a birthday in the past couple of months.
I had lost 7lbs last month when I went back to the Dr. and I feel lijke I have gained it all back.

Will chat later.
love and hugs
Ann

OK, here's the latest. My aunt and uncle took us to Cleveland for the appointment on Fri and THEY DIDN'T HAVE US SCHEDULED! So, they tried to fix it but couldn't do it Fri. They rescheduled us for yesterday, Tues. The aunt and uncle took us back up (it's about 1 and 1/2 hours if traffic is light) and we actually got to see the Dr!! He wants her to see another specialist. I think he's an oncologist (cancer spec) and he wants her to meet with a pulmonary spec and have that dr perform a broncoscopy (sp?). That is where they go through your mouth or nose into the lung and take a piece of tissue for biopsy.

So, for now, this is the schedule: Thurs (tomorrow) we go up for 2 pulmonary function tests. Then we go back up the next day (Fri) to see the pulmonary spec and then she has to have a CT scan of her head, then we see the oncologist again after that. We are going to be 2 very tired girls come Fri evening! We are going to try to find somewhere to stay overnight Thurs and alleviate a lot of driving stress.

The Dr we saw yesterday says that if they prove that the spot is cancerous, the only treatment is chemotherapy. She is so scared of that process. Her brother went through it twice and was so sick. But, I think she'll try anything she can. Today, she asked if I thought she should do this "at her age". I told her that the women in her family have always lived to their 80's or 90's, so, yes, I thought she should do it (she's 78), but that I was also being selfish in wanting her around as long as possible!

Added to all this fear, we haven't heard back from my brother about whether he's going to be able to come to see her! I left a message for him on Sun updating him on what is going on, but haven't heard anything yet! She said the other day that she was afraid to hope that he will come. Today she said she doesn't believe he will come. This is so hard on her emotional state! She needs all the strength she can get and that is sapping that strength! I don't know what to say to him. I think I will tell him that she doesn't trust that he will come through for her. Maybe that will move him! I know that he is busy this summer with his work, but at least he could contact us!

I'm putting all my trust in God. I keep praying that He give us both the strength that we need to get through this. I trust that He will take care of us, so I know He will. Please keep praying for us. We need all the support you have!

Deborah, I'm so sorry about your van! That totally sucks! We're so lucky that our '92 Chevy Astro minivan is still running with no troubles! I'm praying that you get that 3-bedroom, also. How is your health since your hospitalizations?

Dana, I know you're already on vacation, but I hope you are enjoying the beach . . . for me, too! I don't know when I'll be able to see the ocean again!

Daph, HALLELUJAH!!!! The devil-son is gone! I'm happy that you are getting rest. That's the best medicine! How is Megan?

Ann, it was so good to hear from you! I'm jealous that you are getting fresh veggies from your garden. There is no better food in the world than fresh veggies of your own! Good luck in the job market. Were you able to read that I have a very part-time job working in the office here at the apartments I live in? I only work 12 hours/mo and get 1/2 of my rent taken off! How lucky is that?? I think it was God working in his mysterious ways! I didn't know when I was offered the job that Mom and I will need that extra money! Miracles do happen, girls . . . trust God!

Well, I must finish my emails and stuff and get back down to mom's. I'm staying there most of the time including sleeping there. She is too fragile emotionally to stay alone. One good thing is that everyone here in our building are all behind us and ask about her all the time. It gives her strength. (And you know how much we need that!!!)

Love till later,

We went to the pulmonary tests which went well. Then, Fri, we saw the pulmonary spec and he is going to do a bronchoscopy and a PET scan for this coming week. Hopefully they'll be on the same day, but I kind of doubt it, because the bronchoscopy is an outpatient surgical procedre, so I expect we'll have another 2 days in Cleveland.

Also on Fri, she had a head CT and saw both doctors. We're waiting for a call telling us when we go for the two next tests. Then, on Fri the 23rd, the oncologist will tell us what the tests said and what's next. These two last tests will prove whether or not this is cance.

Keep praying for us.

Love,

What's going on? Are we quitting here? I can't lose you all...I need your prayers! Fri, we go for the PET scan. The bronchoscopy is next Thurs and the meeting with the oncologist to hear results and options is next Fri.

Love,

Gayle********* sorry I just seem to keep forgetting to post. I think I have old timers already. I know that Dana is back and having phone line troubles. She will post as soon as she can. She did have a blast on her trip and had just one thunderstorm night.
I am on a food rampage for some reason. Well this week it was period time and cravings galore! It is so hard being stuck here with Megan 24/7. I don't go out to store much being as she loves to say F*** YOU all the time. I have a million and one things to do so I start them all and can't get one donelet along the other million!! I did get Jason's billing invoices out today and made the 2 calls that i had to make today.
Hope to see more posting from everyone!
Daphne

Daphne I'm having problems with eating too. Lastnight i was full from supper but ate a big bowl of Raisin Bran just because I could. I wasn't even a bit hungry and it's paying off of course 247.5 this morning. Now I've only lost 8.5 pounds and i need to change my signature again for the worse.

Gayle I"m so sorry you've been alone in here. I did get back last sunday morning about 3:45 during the night. We decided to drive at night coming home rather than waiting to sunday morning to avoid traffic. It wasn't too bad and we didnt' get that sleepy but did go straight to bed once we came in that night. I'm having a bit of problems with my dial up now. I'm actually running on netzero right now but the problem is in our phone box outside that our jacks run into. Our grass is so tall from our riding mower being broken down and i refuse to call phone company until it's cut. Which may be later today. Kevin has my grandpa's riding mower cutting mama's grass right now and as long as rain doesn't get here first, he will get ours shaved down next.

I'm trying to catch up on gayle's mom. My grandpa who is 75 has 18 of 42 treatments of radiation left. It's badly burned his kidneys and he's in constant pain. Well then he started taking my grannies Xanex (sp) nerve pills and it makes him so drowsy that he sleeps all the time. He falls down and one night granny found him on the bathroom floor. He claimed his dead brother helped him back to bed so he's hallucinating now. She said she's weaning him from those pills. It's sad what he's having to go through and I know how bad kidney pain is. He went through about 5 antibiotics for an infection he never had. Finally a dr. did a culture and it was negative.

Gayle how did the scan go for mom yesterday? I know that bronchoscopy sounds terrible. Will they put her to sleep for that? I can't stand the thought of having something in my throat. I pray that it's all nothing much for her. I hope it's not cancer and I'm sure you don't either. We're still here so don't feel alone and keep us updated when you can.

Deb I would try trading that van in. If your negative equity isn't too bad, the trade should be your down payment. That's the way it works here and we have terrible credit. It truly sucks to pay on something that isn't exactly safe. Sure someone has to understand that. Are you still on your eating plan?

Ann it was wonderful to come home and see a post from you. I've been worried about you and had to send you a post card from beach as well. It doesn't cost us all that much to spend a week at the beach. It's $50 a night basically and then it does cost us about $44 a day for a golf cart but my MIL paid $150 of that. She does that cause they have their own golf cart they tow from home and my SIL and her family use it free of charge so they helped us out this year. We had such a long walk to bathroom and if you had a bad stomach pain, you probably wouldn't have made it to the bathroom so the golf cart was a blessing. Kevin wants to go somewhere else the end of the month but we don't know where. He would like to go to chattanooga on the things me and brett saw on that trip but we do have a dog that has to go and I dont know what to do with her. I even looked into charleston, SC (actually never been there) and found a few pet-friendly hotels but I can't figure out if they are near ocean or not.

Kevin is going to work all this next week including his off days to fill in for a guy going to beach. I like the overtime but I like him to be home some too to help around here. Well I better post this before I get cut off line again. I hope you all have a good weekend.

Whew! I missed you guys!

Mom did fine with the test but is more nervous the closer the time comes to find out for sure what this is. She's been doing exceptionally well, yesterday was bad and today was a little better. I'm doing OK. I went to the chiro on Tues and he stomped out the stress! I had cleaned out mom's fridge on Monday and did too much twisting and leaning and messed up my left hip . . . 'cause the stiff neck, headaches, and pain down my right arm wasn't enough!

We go next Thurs for the bronchoscopy. I don't think it will be too awful. They said she'll be made drowsy and since she has the stoma (breathing hole in her neck) they'll go in through there and won't have to bother with her mouth and throat. She's been having much more trouble swollowing her food lately and I thought it was because of scar tissue and her bad false teeth not being able to grind the food up well enough. Now I wonder if there are swollen lymph nodes in there. I sure hope not! I won't be mentioning this to her . . . she doesn't need anyone to think up more things for her to worry about!

Daph, I understand about the 'hungries'! I have them too. I have totally abandoned the dieting since this has all started up. I got weighed the other day and surprizingly to me, I have only gained 3 lbs. Feels like it should be about 20! How hard is it to train Megan not to say that? She'll get into trouble at school won't she?

Dana, I'm so happy that you had a good vacation. I love the beach . . . not that I haven't mentioned it a million times here already, but, darn it, I DO LOVE IT! I can't imagine the next time I'll be able to go. Good luck with the lawn and the phone. How are the kids behaving this summer?

I'll keep you all updated when something happens.

What's up out there in the Golden State, Deb?

Love,