Ugh...today sucked again. I'm having such a hard time picking myself up. I'm doing everything right except for eating properly >.< So frustrated.

I'm spending some time tonight creating a file with all of my different weight pictures and some tracking records. It's tough looking at the ups and downs in proper record form ..it makes it seem inevitable...but it is also good to see visuals of how far I've come. I just need to get bloody going in the right direction again or I know I'll keep climbing up and up.

Maybe Monday will be easier, with things to get me up and going and keep me busy. I'll keep trying, anyway.

I had too much leftover spaghetti today. It was so good though! Tomorrow, I'm going to make a spicy chicken in tomato sauce recipe using the crockpot again and the recipe makes it look pretty darn tasty and healthy. Looking forward to that, with some corn and beans on the side. Yum! I have two interviews tomorrow - one in the morning in person for an adult day care center, and one scheduled by phone in the afternoon for a clinic position. I'm a little nervous and discouraged...I feel like I'm forever just going to be interviewing and never actually landing a position. That could also just be the hormones from TOM approaching, so we'll see.

Bookmark: Stay strong, it'll be okay! We all know how this process goes, it's just one small step at a time, each one adding to the last. You got this!

Had my "official" weigh in today. It is down from last week, by 3.2, so that's good. It was lower on Sunday, but it was freakishly low then. I think that might have been because of the rest day on Saturday. Sometimes I think that happens with rest days. So, just need to keep it going down. For now, I'm going to keep with weighing each day. If I were to keep on track for my goal, I'd need to lose about 5 pounds over the next couple of weeks. Not sure that it will happen like that. But, I'll try.

Went to Spin class this morning. It was great to have the regular instructor back. He's so good at it. Great workout.

Dread: How funny it is that NOT weighing every day is working for you, but weighing every day is working for me. Sometimes, I guess you just need to shake it up. I hope one of your interviews comes through with a great job!!

Bookmark: Hang in there! I know it can be so frustrating, but just keep taking it one day at a time. Getting the food plan together is tough. I struggle with that a lot. Keep going!

Hey again and thanks for ongoing encouragement. Slashl: "I'm not sure if that will happen, but I will try" ...that's such an excellent attitude - doing things that are good for you and accepting whatever outcome comes. Good for you.

I've been in a bit of a "doing things that are unhealthy and not caring about the outcome" mode...while, of course, still wanting to get back on track.
Today has been better. I just got home and have stayed close to plan all day. I'm around 1100 calories at the moment, which I feel comfortable with at this point in the afternoon/evening.

I had a few major cravings, but got through them. I can't pretend that I'm feeling super motivated, but I am doing it regardless. I'm just checking in here in the hopes that it will keep me on track for what's left of my day.

Body pump this morning. It was a good workout as always. The only problem with it is that we've been doing the same workout for a few weeks now. Fortunately, they are going to change it up next week. I think with the holidays, and now the busier time at the gym, they just had to delay it another week. It just helps to change it up to make it a tougher workout. I'm planning to run after work tonight.

I weighed in today, down just .2 pounds. That's ok. I didn't make the best choices last night. I had been good all day long, but then got home and was suddenly starving. Or at least in my head, I was very hungry. So far, doing ok today.

Bookmark: Sounds like you're hanging in there. It reminds me of the saying "fake it till you make it". Just keep doing the best you can and it will just get easier and easier. Or, at some point, the dedication will return and you'll be back on track without a problem!!

Nici: Good job on the bike workout! And way to go on keeping in good calorie range!

Laurie!! Where are you!??? I miss you!

I just stopped in to post that I love you all and miss you all and am completely overwhelmed, so I will not be posting much today. I will, however, be working until 10 or 11 this evening trying to get caught back up. I did, however, catch Diane's personal to me. So I will also say that I very much miss you all. I was crazy/stupid to take on this law school class. I love teaching, but maybe it was too much of a commitment.

Thanks Slashl and Nici. The support is appreciated. I know all of the things I'm supposed to know, and I'm trying to be patient. The knowing doesn't always help the feeling.

I got to bed last night under 1700 calories, which is not excellent but not bad either (and much better than I have managed for ages). It's just about dinner and I should finish out the day around 1500, today. I haven't quite been able to motivate myself back to the gym yet, but I might give tomorrow a try. Maybe. Small steps and all that ****.

So, I've had my ups and downs the last two days. PMS is kicking my butt, emotionally and physically. I feel fat. Not how I normally feel fat (the at peace with my body, I know I need to lose weight but I still look pretty good, kind of fat), but the bad kind of feeling fat where you hate your body and get depressed just looking in the mirror. It feels bad, like something rotten in my chest. I don't feel like this very often anymore and I don't like it. I worked really hard to stop feeling like this on a daily basis. Physically, I feel exhausted. BUT, overcoming that, I still went to the gym and did 45min on the elliptical on a decent resistance and incline. BAM. Take that, PMS.

I had Whataburger for dinner and I don't regret it one bit. Even put the entire meal, down to ketchup and Powerade drink, in MFP and I only came out to 1600cals for the day. That definitely felt like a "have my cake and eat it too" situation.

One of the interviews from yesterday went well (the adult day care), but I think I'm going to end up taking a nursing home job after all. I have an interview tomorrow morning for an LVN charge nurse position. I'd be starting as a medication aide, and then when the LVN position opens up on February 1st, I'd step into that position. A lot of people wouldn't like starting out as a med aide, but I think it'll give me a chance to get familiar with passing meds quickly and efficiently before adding in the rest of the responsibilities of the nurse position. Initial pay is decent (a couple dollars an hour higher than my pre-nursing school job), and the nursing pay will be amazing once I fill that position. I'm excited to not be poor for the first time in years.

Bookmark: Small steps, one on top of the other, will get the job done!! Just keep on keeping on.

Laurie! You're alive! I was wondering where you were, what's been going on. Hope it all comes together, I totally get that completely overwhelmed feeling.

Slash: A loss is a loss!

Nici: Congrats on the new-new numbers and sending good juju that they stick!

Good morning!

Again going to be really brief this morning. I am debating whether to tackle my tasks one at a time, or to hide in the corner and cry. I am going to try to opt for the first. Maybe I am just delaying the second. JK. Sort of.

I am off to a meeting in two minutes, so I will get as far as I can.

Amanda - So glad to hear your good news on the job front! Just getting that experience leads to so many other opportunities. And it sounds like you're still working to take care of yourself physically. Can't wait for you to start raking in the cash, and maybe having a more sane workload.

Bookmark - Welcome! I agree. Small steps are the critical component of this.

Diane - I also watched the Broncos game. Only in my house, we called it the Steelers game. =) I have Wyoming roots, though, so I can handle a Broncos win. Woot on sticking with the awesome workout routine!

Nici Sounds like you are ready to be working with the 15-pounders! We're all a little lopsided, so no biggie. Not reading all of the backposts, but it sounds like you're getting in exercise that doesn't impact your toe issue. Like Diane, you're totally inspirational.

Got a better dose of "need to keep it on track" this morning, since I did read the most recent posts. It's so hard to keep focused sometimes! It's freezing here, so quick walks outside are not on the table. I did some snow shoveling, but that's not adequate.

I WILL be focused on work today. I will be ultraproductive. And I WILL NOT WATCH TV. (And by TV, I mean watch episodes of The Sopranos on my cracked screen phone while I try to work. I am not enjoying either when I do that.)

We can do this. ONEDERLAND IN 2016.

Nici ninja'd me! Great to see you, my friend!

Oh my gosh, running was awesome last night. I feel like I'm getting the running mojo back now. I'm still not back to where I was, but getting closer. I even had a woman tell me that she was impressed with my workout (she's about my age, so I think she understands how hard it is to keep going with this stuff). It was nice to hear and we congratulated each other on being there. Ha! My legs were pretty stiff last night when I went to bed. I weighed in this morning and I was up over a pound. I am not freaking out, though. I think a lot has to do with running and the soreness in my legs. We'll see how it goes over the next few days. I went to spin this morning. It was tough and again, I think that's because of leg soreness from running. Always something! I'm feeling pretty good about staying on plan with food. Some idiot brought in cupcakes to work. No one is really touching them right now. So many of us are trying to be good and get back on track.

Bookmark: Ha, ha! I know exactly what you mean. We know many of the answers to these weight issues, but sometimes it is just so hard! Patience is truly a tough thing to have doing all of this!

Dread: I hope you stay strong through the PMS and bad feelings. I think they will pass!! Hoping you hear some good things about the job search!!

Nici: Way to keep it going with the workouts! Very impressive!

Laurie! Glad to see you posting! Sorry you are so overwhelmed, that is a tough feeling to have. Stay strong, stay on track! You can make it through to the other side.

I love this positive story about your run. I finally got to the point of enjoying running in the fall and it was a revelation. Actually enjoying how it felt on my body not just how i felt after, and it was s great. I can jog for twenty minutes on the proper fuel and that is AMAZING when it used to kill to jog for 3. I need to remember that. Also, I love the compliment you got. My gym feels competitive sometimes so that is really nice to hear. We should all be supporting each other

Thanks everyone for the support, again. Again! I weighed today at 208, which was mildly reassuring ( I'm sure just because I'm de-bloating and not stuffed with food)............but i just found out I have a week less than I thought to do some work stuff and my immediate thought was "i'm going to need some junk food for a few late night work sessions"...so silly.

I did pick up some chips and junk on the way home, but I've just had a few and put them away, so hoping to still come in around 1600 today. . . no gym . ah well.

Brief update: I think I have a job at the nursing home!! I spoke with the Director of Nurses after interviewing with one of the Assistant Directors of Nurses, and the DON said the ADON was "very impressed" with me. They had me speak with HR and authorize my background check before I left. Feeling really good about this place. I think they really like me, it's clean, and it smells nice (as opposed to some of the places I did clinicals at that smelled of stale urine). Everybody cross fingers and toes!

Gotta go, making dinner (delicious mexican chicken in spicy tomato sauce). Just wanted to say today was a much better day than the rest of this week so far!

Hi, new to this thread. My name is Shanae, and I am 29 years old. I'm a mother to two boys (7 and 9) and one girl (almost 4 months). I joined this forum back in 2012. I lost 30 pounds in three months then by calorie counting. Unfortunately, I gained that back plus some (some of it due to the pregnancy but mostly my fault). So, here I am...100 pounds to lose. I am hoping to be down 50 by July when I am getting married!!

Good morning! I took the time to read some everyone's updates, and I am so glad I did!

Nici - Woo hoo on the weight progress! It is so great when the hard work actually shows that it's paying dividends.

Diane - I love that post-exercise feeling where everything just clicks. And nice job on the compliments. You have earned them!

Shanae - So glad to have you here! Congrats on the upcoming marriage. Can't wait to get to know you better.

Amanda - Woo hoo on the job front! Starting a career is intimidating and super awesome. I have been in my career for about four years now. I work in a cube, so everyone can hear everything I do, and sometimes, it still feels like I'm acting in some sort of play. Even when I'm in court in front of a judge, it often still doesn't feel real. Can't wait to hear about your "I'm really a nurse" moments!

I get tired of reporting on here when I have missed an opportunity to make progress on my long-term goals. I did really well yesterday until we ate dinner. Then, it was a bit of a free-for-all, ending with eating frosting off a spoon from the carton. <Deep breath> Imma tackle this day and aim for the heights.

Have a great day, everyone!