Andrea~what type of exercise are you doing? What I understand is that if you want to repair your metabolism it is best to stay away from cardio and concentrate on weights. When my DD did this, she did 6 days of weights and cardio (in the form of a Sunday run) once a week. She was eating around 3000 calories at the time. Don't get me wrong here, I really worried about what she was doing. But at the time she was doing what she thought was best and I stayed out of it. Now, however, that she is super busy with grad school and doesn't have the time to devote to hours long weights sessions at the gym (and hasn't really decreased her calories) so she is gaining again.

And don't start me on bras! Well, I'm going to start anyway. I'm basically a 36D and recently have started spilling out on one side (one side is larger). So I thought instead of a demi bra I should choose a full coverage. And why stop there? Let's try a DD instead of a D. Okay, ordered and received. Ugh. Whereas it fits and I don't spill out I seriously look like someone's grandma what with the band having 3 clasps in back and like no skin showing in front (and although I could be a grandma at this age I refuse to look it!)! Taking them back (you can return to the store when you buy from Victoria's Secret online) and will try some others there. I'd like to see a DD demi that only has two clasps!

You're a scientist, I'm a writer, so of course I'm going to look at your word choice and how you're presenting your choices and actions to yourself.

Which is why I've marked up text in your post for emphasis. Look, not bingeing or overeating "for keeps" doesn't really seem to be an option, because you have not been able to stop that behavior.

One trade-off for your weight gain -- which, after all, may not be on an upward trend forever -- is that you may finally stop that behavior. Your binges always sound like a prisoner making a jailbreak. Once you unlock that door and that prisoner is free, there may no longer be any need to binge because there is no longer any perceived scarcity or any fear you may be grabbed and dragged back to your cage, kicking and screaming, and locked back in again. Just a guess on my part, knowing that my own binges increase in proportion to my restrictiveness -- and also directly correlate with my stress level.

Are you, by the way, doing anything for that stress level of yours, along with this reset?

And the next thing is the self-disgust & revulsion that I hear and how you talk about "fat." Let it go, just for a little while. Or at least let up on yourself. Think about the healing, as others are saying.

Allison-- VS will size you-- I suggest that as I'm often not the size I think I am.

I'm about to venture into my Thanksgiving Feast at work. I made a healthier version of a corn casserole. I hope it came out well. I'm having all sorts of self talk about the feast. I keep reminding myself that I haven't eaten anything yet. But I know I will. And I'm starving. I will attempt to take small portions and only of what really looks worth it. Tonight's dinner will be small.....

Post feast..... hopefully I didn't do too much damage. Everything was too yummy! I got two plates of food! But the plates were small..... and I took some dessert too.... wanting a nap now.... hopefully Bikram tonight will be extra sweaty so I can sweat some of it out. I was debating back to back bikram but I don't really have 4 hours to devote to exercise....

Andrea: Gosh, that is a conundrum. The easy answer is that you haven't taken this experiment out far enough to interpret the results. These sources that you cited say that what you are experiencing is "normal" and "expected". So, it may not be a stretch to think that the eventual result will also be what is "expected" - maintenance at a higher calorie intake without further weight gain, and apparently even a loss of what was recently gained.

The part they may not address is how to deal emotionally with the weight gain during this process. And their target audience is clearly people who have been weight-focused and calorie-conscious for a long time. Those are not people who easily shrug off 5 or 10 extra pounds.

I don't know what I would do in your shoes. There seems to be enough basis for believing this approach will work, to keep trying it. On the other hand... what you said in your post. Would you consider cycling, e.g. 1500 one day and 2000 the next? It might still apply the same concept of allowing your body to think that calories will be abundant and can therefore be "wasted".

ETA: I didn't mean to detract from Saef's post and the others above it. They made some wonderful points about giving yourself permission to relax about weight gain, and to enjoy the freedom of escaping a strict calorie-control regimen. I wrote the above because you seem to be struggling a bit with the idea of letting go of the control and the worry-

Allison: I am a 34D and I've been a "3-clasper" for as long as I can remember. If they made a 4-clasp I would buy it. Those girls are staying PUT.

Ok. Thanks everyone for weighing in (pun intended of course). I guess the scientist in me will continue to be skeptical of the too-good-to-be-true idea that my metabolism will increase by ~600 cal/day just by eating more calories and doing less cardio. I predict that I end up at my pre-pregnancy setpoint of 140 pounds before the weight stops coming back on, and don't lose a single ounce from there unless I restrict again. But maybe, if I get that fat for awhile, restricting back to 1400 cal/day will actually result in weight loss again. Mandatory yo-yo dieting is not what I was hoping for here, but as all of you are pointing out, what I was doing doesn't work now.

Saef, you're quite right; if I could have lived indefinitely on 1200 cal without binging, I wouldn't even be considering other options. And my binging has already abated (not just the binging; the DESIRE to binge is gone). Now that I get to "overeat" every day with impunity (1800 cal is a daily feast), I don't feel sorry for myself; I just eat the nuts, or chocolate, or glass of wine or whatever.
Mostly though, I'm not filling up on party food; I get to eat 6 ounces of fish instead of 4, and a full cup of brown rice instead of 1/2, and an afternoon snack of granola and yogurt instead of sugar-snap peas. And, per your question about stress, no I'm afraid not. The stress is not a "negotiable" part of my life. And there is plenty of bonus stress involved in watching myself balloon up again. I'm cultivating equanimity, but it hasn't grown yet.

I really don't understand all the hoopla about getting fitted for a bra. People, it isn't rocket science. The bra-band should be snug but not tight so the bra could stay up even if the shoulder straps weren't on you. And the cup should fit so your boobs don't smoosh out the sides or bubble up over the top, but also shouldn't crumple inward because there's not enough boob to fill it out. Do I really need an "expert" to tell me this? Of course, the ladies at VS are so obliging and helpful, it's hard not to appreciate them (though I so detest the brand's Photoshopped-to-inhuman-standards models and hyperfeminine atmosphere that I rarely walk into the store).

Oh, I've also made an appt. with my internist, because it turns out my thyroid hormone level is too low (even though my thyroid stimulating hormone level is perfectly in range). Not clear whether this is the cause of my weight gain, or what to do about it, but I know enough as a physician not to treat myself :>)

Yeah. That's where I am now.

This is the weight I was when I got married, when I got pregnant the first time, and when I got pregnant the second time.

I managed to get way below it about a year after my second pregnancy and keep it off for 4-5 years and then it blew up again. Then I got way down again, kept it off for 4-5 years and here I am again.

*&&%^*& setpoint.

Andrea-- low thyroid can definitely cause weight gain. I know this from experience!! Hopefully getting that corrected can help with your troubles. When my thyroid issues were first found (Graves Disease), I had radioactive iodine to shut down my thyroid. I gained a pound a day. Literally. It was horrifying. I gained 20 pounds in 20 days no matter what I did. At least you aren't gaining weight like that!!

Alinnell, forgot to reply to your question yesterday. I do mostly weight training, and always have. I lift "heavy" (to failure after 10-12 reps max) typically 3 days per week, and do body-weight training and Pilates another day, along with HIIT. I doubt I do serious cardio more than 2x/week, and even then I never do more than 45 minutes of it.

Lord I hate setpoints. I feel like I'm a different species of Homo altogether from the long, lean, lanky supermodel types.

I was going to reply about models but I'm gonna get myself in trouble with a whole bunch of tall thin folks if I do. Let's just say the models, to me, are an exaggeration to the extreme of long and lanky. Teenage boys have that figure when they are going through their growth spurt. A lot of designers are gay. This all clips together for me.

I am the "circus performer" type body - strong stocky mesomorph. I did aspire to model thinness back in my teenage years but then they started putting their heights in print and I realized that no, no amount of dieting would give me that look.

I work with what I've got. And I am proud of being strong and healthy.

I'm boring everyone to death with this but acceptance, to me, is key to being successful at maintenance.

Dagmar

Weight is back up slightly over what it was last Friday. Problem is, it went up after my week of vacation, and that slice of apple pie, and it's never come back down. And if I look at last year, I'm up 9 pounds. Granted, after a year of truly serious weight training that has visibly enlarged my shoulders and arms, but still ...

Not looking forward to next week, when I've got to drive into the main office every single day of the working week, an hour each way commuting.

No, I'm not at all bored by this. I agree with it, in part because I think it opens up personal areas of thought and behaviour which may have been closed down by restriction and stress. In my book, opening oneself up is healthy and possibly transformative. It can lead to exploring some interesting places (see below).

I love this .... Lots of possible exploring here!

I hope the day never comes when I feel guilty for weeks about eating a slice of homemade apple pie. It's just too sad.

I agree Jayell. If I eat the whole PIE once a week then there's room for a whole bunch of guilt (to say nothing of the health consequences). But a treat once in a while - I'm totally into that.

Dagmar (occasional pie is GOOD!)

Saef, how do your clothes fit compared to last year? I'd be willing to bet that at least half of that 9 is muscle gain.

Andrea, I've been reading the GoKaleo stuff since you first put it up and I'm finding it interesting. I like her talk of eating to your activity level every day and was trying to work that in before vacation, will get back to it next week. I also have a BMF and I will tell you that I often didn't lose what the numbers said I should have between consumption and burn, and I was pretty meticulous about tracking food while wearing it.

Interesting observations this week. We ate A LOT. Drank A LOT. Those on my FB saw loads of food porn pics. Not much dessert, only ordered it with one meal, then had beignets twice. Lots of walking. Felt full all week, but didn't feel bloated when I woke up in the mornings. Yesterday morning I weighed about a pound less than when I left and wore a pair of size four slacks and a slim blazer for a meeting. Yesterday we had spaghetti for dinner and ice cream, today I feel puffy and heavy and am up three over yesterday morning. Is it the different composition of the food? The fact that yesterday we didn't move as much? Is it all just catching up now that I stopped moving? I think a big part is composition of food - most of what we ate last week was fresh, little salt, few preservatives, good food. Yesterday was jarred sauce with salt and packaged ice cream with sugar. So, to top off my already up a little and officially end my vacation I had the last praline for breakfast.

I think Saef is making an observation more than saying she feels guilty. And it was in that spirit that I made the comment about the model body type being alien to me. Believe it or not, I have come a long way in terms of body acceptance. Having babies actually helped that even though it gave me stretch marks, as has getting older. What I still have trouble with is accepting myself when I work at something but my results fall short of my expectations- in any arena. The NIH is currently funding only 8% of all research proposals, yet I find it completely unacceptable that I haven't succeeded in getting funding - same problem, different issue.