Evening Ladies,
Sorry I have been missing in action. I went into school yesterday for a few hours and got tons of work done. I came home to eat lunch and then jump in the shower. But those plans got put on hold for a few hours when my old next door neighbor called to say they were passing through the area and stopped in for a visit. They left in time for me to jump in the shower, run over to my TOPS meeting to get weighed in (lost the pound I gained last week), run home to eat and then off to teach VBS. Then today I had an all day staff meeting from 8:30-3. Came home long enough to chat with dh and kids and then changed clothes and went to workout at Cuvres. Came home took another shower, eat dinner and was off to church again. Needless to say my brain is fried and in desperate need of rest and relaxation. But I need to go out to school again tomorrow morning for a little while. Then maybe go get a few new school clothes since I don't have any that fit properly. Then teach VBS again tomorrow night. Then on Friday, I will probably go out to school for a little bit again just to get last minute things done. Then we have the kids for the weekend. Plus a family reunion on Sunday. So I am not really going to get any rest until after school starts. But I did tell my dh tonight that I was going to be working at school for the after school program on M and W until 6:30 and on T and Th until 4:30. That way we can have a little extra money to pay off a few bills and be able to maybe go visit my family with the kids. But I am also doing it so I don't have to come home from school and do all the kids homework with them. Since we will be babysitting them when they get off school until their mom comes to pick them up after she gets off work. I just feel that my dh has to take a more active role in their education other than passing the buck off to me since I am a teacher. Does that make sense to you? Enough about my little rant.
Summer I know what you mean about the summer coming to a sudden halt. It just doesn't seem like we have really had any time off. I have tried very hard to only socialize with my coworkers after I have put a major dent in my classroom for the day. Keep working at it and you will be ready for the first day!
Robyn with your charm and wit, you wouldn't have any problems making new friends at your new school. It sounds like you have a wonderful plan to get your room ready by Friday. You can do it!
Mouse sounds like you are really shaking up your workout routine. Keep it up! As for not losing any weight, your body is probably converting into muslce. I think you said the right thing to the man from York. If you were not happy there a few years ago, I am sure they haven't really changed a whole lot to make it a different new and improved experience for you.
Ginny, Sounds like you had a nice visit with your sister yesterday. What part of Ohio is she from? Glad to hear that your cadiologist visist went well also. So you have another week before your dd goes off to college. Just think you will be an old pro at this by the time your other two go off to college.
Well I am going to stop babbling and get ready for bed. I am trying to get up early each day so I can get use to getting into that routine again. Talk to you all tomorrow.
Hugs to all,
Kerry

Hi!

Kerry- take some time in the next few days to at least have a cuppa and take a deep breath!!!!!!! Good for you (and congrats on the 1# loss!) on getting to TOPS. Where is your family?? Must be some distance from Ohio. And that is probably tough on you. I had to laugh reading that you figure you will get some " rest" until after school starts!!!!! What were you thinking? I understand- there is at least a change in how life goes- you can somewhat leave the child entertainment mode once they are in school and sometimes steal a moment or two for yourself.
And I totally understand how taking on more work can force Dh into taking an additional role in helping with his kids. I did the same thing when I took on my current job. Previously, I was self employed at home, had no set hours, not counting the day I was onsite- and my Dh and family considered me "on duty" all the time. So I did all the stay at home mom stuff......left the house for one 6-8 hour day onsite, and then put in a ton of hours on the computer after everyone was in bed. No set schedule, I was considered available for all and everything. Finally I put my foot down- and left- and at least now I cannot be dragged into everything and Dh has stepped up to the plate to fill in some of the kid sports needs because I have set hours. DOn't know if all this babbling makes any sense........but I do understand your strategy. Hope it works!!! BTW, my sister lives in Euclid. They left this am from my Dm's.

Mouse- you've heard it a million times before, muscle burns more than fat.
And I am no physical trainer, but I would think that it might take a few weeks for that to pay off. ALSO- that you did not gain is great- muscle weighs more than fat! So the long and short of it is you lost fat. And that is good news. Keep those workouts up- you are doing great. Congrats on the flatter tummy too!! I've read your post a few times- and maybe I am missing the point here. Are you still entertaining going to that inner city school? Gosh what a tough decision......plusses and minuses on both sides.
I don't know what/how I would decide on that! But, being the wise person you are- I know you will make the right choice for you.

Going out in a bit to shop for Dh's birthday, which is tomorrow. He took today and tomorrow off from work- so that we can spend the day together out for his Bday. I hope the weather is ok, otherwise he will be a crab.
The cat spent most of the evening not doing too well.......every so often she would cry in pain...then throw up. At some point she had to poop- guess she could not make it to the litter pan (which is downstairs) so she went in the bathroom, next to the toilet! (the little critter ain't as dumb as I thought she was). At least it was an easy place to have to clean up from- non porous tile floor. Today she is low key, but seems better and is eating a bit.
According to the web page I visited cats do get stomach bugs......if she is not better tomorrow or Saturday I guess we will be off to Charlie Brown's.....yup, that is really the name of my vet.
It sort of looks as though I might not get to WW at all this week......just too darned much going on. There is a chance that I will sneak in to the 8 am meeting in Middletown, which is a 30 minute drive from here. And I am going to take Kerry's advice and start getting up early to get used to it again. Oh how I dread getting up at 4:45.....but those early am walks are wonderful. And if I do that, then maybe I can get a bit more accomplished here if I do not fall asleep!!!!!!!
BTW, I did get a draft written for the welcome back letter- I have to give a copy to my supervisor to make sure that it meets her approval. Hey, Mouse- did you get those last 4 reports done?????

Nuff of me!!!!!!!!! Hope SUmmer and Robyn are doing fine. Have a great day.
Ginny

Well then...phew! I'm beat!

Mousie, I don't have to tell you that you have gained muscle which is heavier than fat. Forget about the scale and concentrate on your measurements. I'm so ready to toss my scale out the window. It doesn't matter where you go, every friggin scale is different anyway. Don't sweat this! You know how hard you are working and how successful you are.

Kerry, DH has a good argument that since you are the teacher you should work with the kids. However, you need to stand your ground and expect him to pitch in...if for no other reason than for the sake of his relationships with his kids.

Ginny, Happy Birthday to your man. I hope he has good weather. The weather in CT has sucked ever since Charley made his presence known. We've had one good day. I hope your kitty gets better soon.

Robyn, hey girl.

Well now I know school is upon me...once parents start screaming at me again, it is back to the old routine! A parent spoke with the principal earlier today and asked about transportation for pre-k. The principal told her we don't provide buses for pre-k. The woman went off on the principal. Well, then she comes in to yell at me, "Why you not have buses for you class?!" (Nice.) I don't know, maybe it has to do with the fact that you are getting free pre-k and there is no money left for transportation...you all know I paid $8000 a year for DD's pre-k program, and it galls me that people who are already getting it for free expect transportation too!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!! I just wanted to tell her to get a f*cking job, but I held my tongue, smiled and explained that we didn't have the funding for buses. I recommended some programs that do provide transportation, but you have to pay tuition. She looked at me like I was nuts to think she would pay for anything.

ISN'T IT FUN THAT WE GET TO LEAVE THE SUMMER BEHIND AND GO BACK TO SCHOOL?!!!!

Afternoon Ladies,
Ginny I totally understood what you meant. It is nice to know that there is at least one other person who thinks like me about issues regarding dh's and kids. I have put too much on hold for myself and this is the year that I am going to focus on me (weight wise and mental health wise). I have been able to take mini moments today to read a few pages and enjoy a glass of iced tea. Tomorrow afternoon I am going with one of my friends to go school clothes shopping. As for where my family lives, they all live in the Youngstown area. So it makes it hard sometimes to travel the 4 hours to get there for a visit at times. But I have managed so far. Hope your cat is doing better today. Hope you are able to squeeze in a WW meeting this week.
Mouse how are the reports and the workout going? I forgot to comment on your flatter tummy. Way to go! Keep up the good work. Do I hear six-pack abs in the making here? LOL
Summer and Robyn I assume you both are busy getting your rooms set up. Hope you will find the time to relax and regroup before school offically starts next week.
Well off to check my email and then to read a few pages in my novel before starting to do more school work or chores around the house before VBS tonight. Only 1 more night after tonight. Yeah!!! One of the little one's in my class has a virus in her mouth. I have been around her for the last three nights and I just found out last night about this virus. I hope it is not contiguous. Just what I would need the first week or so of school.
Have a wonderful afternoon!
Kerry

Just a quicky check in.

Summer- guess you get the award for being the group cheerleader here!!!!!! Sorry for such a rude awakening to the new school year. There are some parents that I hope would have another child.....get a job....do something so that they might wake up and realize that the rest of us are just doing the best we can! I had a parent chew me out because her daughter was put on the bus (her normal route) when she was supposed to be picked up that day. It was the offices fault.......I was supposed to know this??????? Anyway- you meet all kinds.....hang in there Hon!!! The first week or so, until the bugs get out is usually the worst.

Kerry- hope you can scare off that virus! Aw, we are all going to be exposed to every germ God ever created in a few short days~ but I can understand that you would not want to get sick now. Cherish those mini moments!!!!!! Are you school clothes shopping for you???? Hope so! Enjoy it and the time with your friend.

Well, the way I saw it, this cat was not eating, and tomorrow Dh will want NOTHING to do with the cat- so I took her to see Charlie Brown. He gave her some fluids (she was a bit dehydrated) and a shot to encourage fatto to eat......which she did when we got home. Plus some high calorie/easy to digest food....and he took some blood.
Maybe I jumped the gun, but I knew that tomorrow she would get no attention- and could really go downhill if I waited till Saturday. Her exam was normal and we will see if she ate anything poisonous (shows up on a blood test). The good part is that my fat cat did lose a # from last year. He liked that......2# to go if she is ok.

Gotta go make dinner.........have a great nite!
Ginny

Well, all... I did another 2.5 hours at the gym tonight: weights, water aerobics class, and laps. I got out just in time for them to close the pool for a storm... On my way out, past the front desk, another member said, "Oh, you didn't feel like waiting for them to reopen the pool?" And the lifeguard was out there (checking with security on the storm), and the person at the front desk who checked me in at 5:15... looked at me, looked at the woman and said, "She's been here too long already!" To which I said, "yea, well, I've already been here 2.5 hours. I went upstairs (weights), did the class, and swam laps. Its time I went home." I walked out to her stunned look.
I mostly get disbelieving looks when I tell people how long I exercise, but when I say it at the gym, I get stunned looks.

Now, about that inner city school... I talked with the guy today. He told me that I have what he wants. He's willing (and did) go to HR to see if he can hire me directly. HR phoned me today and told me about their benefits and the pay. The pay is equal to what I'd make if I went back to Fairfax County if they accept all my years of experience... There is a question if they'd accept my 2 years at my private, non-public. Private schools don't require certification in PA, and don't count toward tenure or anything else. And so the public school systems don't allow that to count toward step on the salary scale. But, in MAryland, they do the county system, and don't do the Intermediate Units,a nd they do center placements for special ed... PA does none ofthat, so my school is a gray area. We're not a true private school, because you can't place your child with us and pay tuition.
But then I talked to my supervisor at my current position: I'm nothing if not honest (most of the time!). I told him about the job, that I was interested, but waiting to hear about salary and benefits. He asked me to ask them if they'd consider a transition plan... because we now have teacher openings at the high school. I didn't think we had many at all when we ended summer session. That means some teachers left since then. I can only think of 2 openings that we had...
So I'm going to ask the guy if we can hold the position for next year. I'm going to ask for an in-person meeting if he agrees to that, and show him what I can do for him and his program. I should be able to know by looking at his face, and also by visiting the program during the year if the support for what he wants and what I can give them is there. If not, I'm not going to do it. The salary isn't worth it... As much as I love teaching inner city kids, I'm tired of them getting short shrift BECAUSE their inner city kids. It drives me nuts.

Hello all....

I've spent the better part of today in tears. One of my dear friends at my old school has been diagnosed with cervical cancer.....another begins chemo after a double mastectomy on Monday.... it was also announced that my old school did not make AYP and will face state mandated changes...... and I've left them all.... after 17 years....

I've left my friends..... and I'm so sad. I don't question that the change is what is best for my family and even for me (professionally) ......but...... I've become so overwhelmed thinking of everyone (and all the junk) that I've left behind. (Yes, I know that I am a big girl and can maintain (and WILL!) friendships from a distance. I know that I'm being a big baby for being sad and letting the tears fall. BUT I also know that I am now an outsider.... that it will never be the same again.... I'm outside the trenches.... I also know that I will meet new friends......

Who knew at 39 that I'd get THAT feeling again in my stomach.... Remember the one you felt when you were little and alone in the dark? Remember how you felt at the end of middle school? Remember how you felt at the end of HS?

I don't belong anymore.... and I don't belong yet.... and I sure miss the confidence that I have always felt returning to school..... It will all be ok again..... eventually....

Be careful what you wish for.... sometimes the wishes come true....and leave you crying for days.....

Robyn, let those tears flow girl. They need to come out. If they don't come out, you might cope in a less healthy way. You are essentially in mourning. No, nobody died, but you are suffering a loss...loss of the sense of security you had, loss of daily contact with special friends, and loss of the old routine and predictable. On top of that two of your friends (that you happen to be leaving behind...STOP FEELING SO GUILTY) are experiencing traumatic health crises, and you won't be right there with them to help. You will however be available by phone, email, and on the weekends & vacations, you can visit them. You have a right to feel what you are feeling in your tummy. I've been there. When I switched careers in 2001, going from a group home assistant manager with a lovely office in an affluent community to a classroom teacher in the worst school in the inner city, I had diarrhea every morning. I had to see a gastroenterologist and was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, acid reflux disease, a hiatal hernia, and the beginnings of an ulcer. I also developed asthma. Was I stressed out?! You betcha! I wish I had cried, then maybe I wouldn't have developed all these other ailments. I have faith in you. You are such a friendly and outgoing person. You will make friends, and they will be so happy to have you on board at your new school. And if it takes them a year or so to accept you, don't give up on them. Because when they are willing to give the newbie a chance, they will discover just how much you have to offer. They will love you. Take care of yourself, and give yourself permission to let your emotions out. I will be praying for you and your friends, old and new alike!

Mousie, I'm sorry that people are surprised by the exercise you put in. Chalk it up to ignorance. At least you have a circle of people in your life who do know about your health situation and how hard you are trying. Don't give up, and I know you will get what you want and need. Best of luck with the job offer. If he wants you badly enough, he will accomodate you for the year.

Finally the weekend is here, just in time for me to catch up on household chores. I couldn't keep up since I spent so much time at school. But, it has paid off. I only have to put up my bulletin board and do some last minute preparations. Yesterday was the first day that almost everybody decided to show their faces. As you know, I've been popping in for a couple of weeks, a day or two here and there, and this week has been daily. Honestly, I would much rather do this and be ready, than stretch out my summer sitting on the beach worrying that I won't be ready. Then again, I think those people who don't come in early just don't give a sh*t. So, they probably don't worry!

Have a wonderful weekend one and all!

Summer, thank you very much for your wonderfully compassionate and supportive note. Thank you for understanding!

I have just gotten off the phone with an "oldschool" friend who has told me that another "osfriend" won't be returning to work as she has finally given in and "retired" due to her battle with liver cancer. She is too weak to talk on the phone. She is not doing well at all from what I've been told. I send her cards every so often.... I think I will "up" that to every week. Her husband says that she gets much enjoyment out of the cards and notes that we send.

EEEK..... enough........ or I will have red eyes again for the day!

Thanks again for the note of support! It helped me more than you will ever understand! I *do* feel so guilty! I *KNOW* how hard those gals work! I *KNOW* how hard those kids and parents are to "deal with". I *KNOW* that those state sactions are going to be a #$%#@ to deal with....and that those gals deserve better!
I *KNOW* what kind (none) of support you get from the admin..... and I know that those gals deserve better! You know... it is sorta like soldiers.... after being in a war they have a bond!

Anyway.... enough........ do you think this could be PMS????
Someone hum Pacabell's "Cannon in D" for me while I cry!

My new school is the complete opposite of my old school! It will be nice after all these years to be in a "sunshine" place as opposed to the "dark cloud" place that I've called home for so long!

OKEY....I'm leaving before I go further


take care!

Oh, Robyn, I'm sorry! I have been there, too, although I haven't stayed anywhere long enough to become truly attached... I've left friends behind. I keep in touch with most of them, and since I'm not even in the same state anymore, I usually have people to visit when I leave Maryland! IM is wonderful and so is email. Its okay to cry and be nervous, but you seem like a very friendly person (much moreso than I am! I tend more toward nervous and shy!), and should do fine. I have to admit one of the harder things about where I am now is that I haven't made friends with any of the staff for the most part. A lot of them are younger than me, and into the bar scene. I don't drink or smoke. They always have the staff parties in bars, so I don't go (well, and they always seem to have them when I'm scheduled as dispatcher!).
I bought a blazer/jacket thingy (its long, but not long enough to be a duster at Hecht's today for the interview. I also bought an aventurine and silver filigree necklace/earring set. I'm going to wear black pants (dress cargo pants: silk pockets and buckles), cream silk shell and the new blazer with the necklace and earrings. I was so proud: its been a long while since I could go into a regular department store and find something that fit. I even almost bought a pair of suede pants and jacket. But the pants were a bit too tight.
I cheated on the housecleaning too... when I had my cast on, I had two women who came in to do it, and did a fantastic job... and so I treated myself to an apartment cleaning. They do such a nice job and my apartment is nearly sterile.

No time for a big post.......Robyn, hugs to you......you are a blessing to all no matter where you are. It is tough leaving after such a long time- I worked at the same place for almost 20 years before retiring to bus driving. I'll pray for you....Not only that, because you bring a fresh perspective to those friends of yours who are not well (new stories of your new experiences) that can be an additional blessing. What you are feeling now is normal....and just proof that you are a warm, loving person.
Mouse, Summer and Kerry- hope you are ok......sorry to be short. take care.
Ginny

Took the pool down today......or I should say finished to job. Someone please tell me that this is NOT the end of summer!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Both older kids are out tonight and won't be home (sleepovers) so it is just Dh and Dd (8). We are taking her out to see the new Benji movie, which I read is wonderful.
Ah, a sane night......no teenaged hormones......is this possible? This week is crunch week......how to try to live out the last week of no school.
Better sign off, hope everyone is ok!
Take care.
Ginny

Thanks for all of the support! Tomorrow I officially go....for the official beginning of the school year for me. The returning staff don't report until NEXT Monday and the kidlets don't arrive until the 7th of September. BUT, for me.... as if the week sitting on the jury and the two weeks of moving and unpacking and stuff was a WONDERFUL vacation.... today is the official end of my summer. Complete with a case of the "End of Summer Blues" as IF I didn't already have enough emotional CRAPPPP going on!!!! Sigh!

Today while trying to finish "THEBATHROOMPROJECTTHATWOULDN'TDIEEEEE", I fell .... off a stool, onto and then off of a wooden bench, with a razor cutting tool in my hand, yanked down the new shower curtain...onto my oldest kid who was holding a glass who got the shower curtain bar in the face and his mother complete with razor on his legs... Neither of us got seriously injured... altho he does have a scratch on his face.... and I have ONE HECK of a bruised nearly everything! Many (elbows, fanny, heel, chest) painful areas.... I am, um, gonna not be finished with that darn bathroom EVERRRRRR...... Poor kid.... I scared him to DEATH! I was just so worried about hurting him.... We both were in tears trying to figure out how hurt the other was! Anyway..... my right elbow/arm/fingers are throbbing....but I don't think that they are seriously hurt....and my dh is NOT sympathetic at all since he had told me not more than 3 minutes earlier that I was going to fall!......kabooom! Anyway..... old fat women are NOT meant to fall!

Type to you later!
take care!

Robyn, there have been moments that I read your postings and feel like you and I are twins separated at birth! God girl! Are you okay?! You poor thing...and nothing like a "know it all" DH to make you feel even worse. Been there, done that. I don't even want to go into detail and bring back more bad memories. I hope you feel okay. Ice what needs to be iced and take some motrin. Feel a hug from someone who knows how you feel more often than not. Oh, and I start officially on Tuesday, so I am right behind you.

Ginny, our pool got algae in it, so I figured DH would throw in the towel and close the pool. However, he spent the better part of the day a Par Pool buying chemicals and treating the pool. So, apparently, our pool will remain up until it gets too cold to swim. Not a bad idea since it doesn't really get chilly here until mid October.

Mouse, congrats on the new clothes, purchased in a regular department store no less!!! Oh, and great idea getting your apartment cleaned as a treat. If I ever dig my way out of debt, I might consider doing that once in a while.

I spent the day cleaning. Tomorrow, I'm going to "Once Upon A Child" to sell some of DD's clothes that no longer fit. I used to make some good money doing that back when she outgrew her clothes before getting them dirty. But now that her growth rate has slowed down, she wears her clothes out. Hopefully I will get some cash that I can turn around and use on some new things for school. We used to shop a lot. We stopped abruptly so we could save money. She has noticed. I guess it is good that she is still pretty young. Maybe I can get her into a healthier pattern of not constantly spending money.

I will also go into school tomorrow to work on my bulletin board. I will only stay a half day, since the next day is the BEGINNING OF SCHOOL.

I think I'm gonna start a new thread. So, look out for it.

I'm going to respond here, but maybe we should close this thread so other responses go to the new thread? Just an idea.

I'm off to the interview in about 45 minutes. I'm dressed: nearly had a fit because I couldn't find the cream shell... I could only find the black one! I had visions of wearing all black to the job interview for a brief moment, and I have black hair as well! I would've looked like a goth! But, then I found it! I also found a scarf that is the same color, so I might put it around the collar of the blazer-thingy (yes, that is its official title. My mother thinks its hilarious!). The necklace was WAY to short, it must've been designed for Twiggy or something. I got it around my neck, but it was a choker... so I swapped its chain for a longer one that I have from another necklace.
I need to go brush out my hair with the hopes that it will do what it is supposed to do today: I gelled it, and that generally makes it wavy or spiky/curly... I can feel that it curled the way it was supposed to as it dried, so we'll see what happens when I brush it. I also put on MAKE-UP! oooo!! I don't wear make-up because I'm apparently allergic to talc. Or at least my face is! I even did the whole make-over thing (one of my closest friends took me and paid for it last February and made me get my nails done then too!), and my eyes teared for HOURS after they tried blush and eye-shadow on me. So, for me, wearing make-up is just cover-up and foundation with a touch of lipstick which doesn't do a whole lot and as a result, most times I don't bother. I did find some make-up that doesn't have talc, but its SOOOOO expensive!!!!!
The cargo pants I bought last fall (I was really super proud of these pants, because they were 22s) are now also big on me. They have a draw-string at the waist though, with another silk tie, so I made them fit! But they were snug (not tight, or I wouldn't have bought them!) last fall. Its freaking me out because I really haven't lost ANY weight since June... and most of that was from not eating/throwing up.
I love my apartment after its cleaned: it looks so nice... and she does a fantastic job. I just don't have time to clean it between teaching full-time, grad school part-time, volunteer stuff... and the gym. I'd rather go to the gym then clean! Even though cleaning is exercise.
Okay... time to pack all the stuff up. I'm taking the computer with me so they can see my cute little Power Point of all my pictures from the last 5 years of my kids doing stuff in the community.