Yes, it is I. The wayward weight loss buddy. I haven't done well this weekend and have to tell you that I didn't really care until yesterday evening. I have so much going on that it's been easy to fall back into old habits. I haven't done too bad but bad enough! I've been, as we call it at home, snick-snacking around more than I need and NOT exercising. Last night at church, one of our dear senior saints commented on how much weight I'd lost. It was just the encouragement I needed to get back on track. So, new week; new attitude.

I don't think I'll be doing the 1500 calorie thing. What I mean to say is that I'll probably be doing it but I'll do it in WW points. I'm allowed 26 pts. per day w/35 flexpoints to be used throughout the week. So, if it's okay w/my two encouragment angels, I will post every day what I've eaten and the number of points for the day. Also, exercise. This will help me a lot knowing that I have to tell you guys! However, I expect you to hold my feet to the fire! Don't let me wiggle out of things or make excuses, please. I need loving, firm accountability to get back on track. Let me know if this is okay.

TOF-I'm sorry but I had to laugh at your story about the two little boys! I guess if I'd been there it wouldn't have been funny but it was funny as a third party observer. I can just hear them-wonder how this stuff would splatter if we stomped on it? Let's try it! I'm not a school teacher but I've worked w/young people for many years and have caught young boys and girls doing similar things! Made me smile. Let me know how things are going for you. Good luck w/the studying.

Marie-I'm glad you liked your classes, even if they were pretty intense. It sounds like you're getting your focus you were talking about a couple weeks ago. Care to send some my way! I'll get back on track-starting today. I have a dinner to go to tonight but, if I remember correctly from last year, there should be some healthy choices. No dessert, though. I've had waaaayy too many sweets this weekend! Keep up the good work. What will your reward be for losing your ten pounds? I think I'll reward myself after I get under 200. Now, what do I want? Hmmm....

Ladies, thank you for your encouragement in weight loss and other areas of life. DH went back to dr. and they put him back on lamactil (not sure of spelling) which is what they had him on when they first diagnosed him as being bipolar. DH took himself off lamactil b/c he just knew he wasn't bipolar. Anyway, he's back on that. He's going to a bipolar support group here in town tonight. Still searching/praying about counseling. He's not nearly as bad as he was in March 04 so I'm very grateful. It could certainly be worse! He takes his job app. today so pray for that. It seems like it would be the perfect job. We went over our finances this weekend and it's TIGHT! With what I make and his Navy retirement, we can make our monthly bills but we have old Abe begging for mercy! It won't cover our extra debt, check advances, etc, but will keep our heads above water. So, when he gets a job, we can knock out the extra expense in no time flat. Marie-my book should be here within a couple days. I'm anxious to get it read.

Marie-do you, or did you, have someone besides DH to be an accountability partner for you? I feel that I'm turning into my DH's mother, which is not the role I want. I am having to hold his feet to the fire to get anything done. I feel that this could eventually hurt our husband/wife relationship. Plus, that's a big task for just one person, on top of all the other things I already do. I have suggested to him that he get someone else to also help hold him accountable. For example, DH needs to present a list to his accountability partner of things he intends to accomplish in a week and the AP needs to call him and make sure he's following through. I would appreciate your thoughts on this. Also your thoughts-TOF.

Gotta run. Court today. So far today, I've had oatmeal, milk and a cappucino! So day is off to a great start! hee, hee. ck in later.

Hi Skinny and TOF, I hope you are both having a great day. I exercised (30 minutes on the exercycle) this morning and I feel pretty good. I'm playing hooky today - part of the bi-polar thing that there are just days that I can't get out of bed. If I was good, I'd go to work for the afternoon, but I never said I was that. So I'm at home and going to finish my sweater today. I just have the sleeves left so I should be able to do that in a day. I do have some work to do from home so I have to get that done too.

Yesterday I did good on my eating. About 1400 calories. I don't count them to be exact. I guess and round up for hte calories. Since I've dieted all my life, I know the calories of just about everything that I eat. But I always round up to the nearest 25. If something is 80 calories, I'll call it 100. Rarely do I round down unless it's 101 or something like that. Skinny, I think the points work so we'll hold you accountable to stay with your points and flex points per week. Once I tried WW and the points. I figured the points to be an average of 50 calories each and I of course went back to calories when I was trying to figure out my points.

Accountability - hmm, I guess I'm mostly accountable to myself. I am to DH but mostly I have to live in my own head. I think if you're turning into his mother, I'd say he's pawning off his responsibilities onto you. That's not a partnership. But to answer your question, I'm accountable to my psychiatrist and DH and me. DH doesn't ask specific questions that maybe he should, but I tell him stuff on my own. The psychiatrist does ask very specific and direct questions about the areas in my life that I have trouble with. But she's gotten my meds to a point where I want to be accountable to myself and I think that's where your DH is going. Starting one med is good, but if it's not working or isn't working sufficiently, he will HAVE to tell his dr. That part is the hard part because it really is admitting you have a problem and the frist try on a med isn't working. Will your DH admit to his dr. if the med he's on isn't working? If I were in your shoes, I'd keep the accountability on your budget and his meds. Because the money is so important and if the meds are right, the rest will fall into place. Also make sure that when things are going right he continues to keep taking his meds. That's the biggest problem we have is that when things are "normal" we stop taking the meds. I've done this and it just proved to me that I need them. I think I'm beyond that stage but your DH might not be.

Anyways... I better get to my work projects since they have to be done whether I'm at work or not. So I will write later.

Hi all. Good to hear so many positive thoughts and problem solving. Isn't it truly devine Skinny that Marie happened to join this site and that she can relate to DH's bipolar issues and help you out. How wonderful! We can really learn from each other. I'm quite high-low in my moods and energy too so I'm listening to all the talk and heeding the advice. I'm not that even when it comes to energy and I've tried to work with my highs and lows.

I'm really proud of how you're handling this situation Skinny. How I hope he gets the job. I lived through my husbands year plus job loss and I know it's not easy - it's a competitve world out there and I know what it does to a man's ego. Hang in there. What really helped me was trying to focus on some personal goals to make money - that's why I did the teacher certificate work. It gave me a focus and eventually will help me get a small raise to help out. I find that having a personal focus during tough family times helps.

Marie, I'm so proud of you getting to the gym. Soon, very soon, I'll be joining you. I can feel the weight of the course beginning to lift. I love hearing about all your creativity.

Good eating day here. I was really hungry at 4 so I had 1/4 c. of almonds - healthy and very filling. I'm making a good dinner tonight (for a change - I haven't been cooking much)- cod fish, baked french fries (cut up a potato, mix with a bit of olive oil and bake - tasty fries that are healthy!, asparagus). Take care.

Hope this morning finds all doing well. The sun is trying to push through the gray and it's making for an interesting sky this morning. It's really beautiful, actually-even though it is a little gray.

Yesterday was a good eating/exercise day. Here's my points:
B: oatmeal, milk-6 pts.
S: cappucino-3 pts.
L: apple-2 pts.
D: taco delight-6 pts (kind of a mexican chili)
chips-4 pts
milk-4 pts.
S:celery/peanut butter- 2.5 pts.
Total points(TP)27.5 Flex points (FP) 1.5
Exercise-35 minutes cardio , 25 minutes weights .

I'm coming to understand that it's so important to take care of myself during this difficult time. I do not need to neglect myself. so, I'm finally, for real, back on the wagon!

Marie-congrats on your exercise and good eating! You go, girl! I do appreciate all your input w/my sitch w/DH. It's very helpful to have someone whose been there, done that to talk to. I spent some time talking w/my favorite brother in law last night. He deals w/depression as well and had a very bad episode about 9-10 years ago. He and my sis separated for several weeks. He said I was doing pretty well. So, maybe between the wisdom of friends, reading and praying I'll do okay. DH did tell me again last night how much he appreciated me being there for him and how much my love and support means to him so must be doing something right!

TOF-I can hear your burdens are getting lighter as you speak to us. I'm so glad it's almost over for you. I know it's been hard but you met it head on and are close to accomplishing your goal. Way to go! Looking forward to hearing about your exercise regime once things settle down for you.

Ladies, DH went to the BP support group last night and it was really good for him. I'm so glad it's there. It's brand new-last night was only the third meeting! It was good for him to know he isn't alone in his battle. He wants me to attend w/him next week so of course I will! One thing I have to remember through all this is not to take things personally. When I got home yesterday evening, he had earplugs in. When I asked him about them he said he was "humaned out". He'd had all the human contact he could take for one day and just wanted to be left alone. Of course, I took this personally. So, I went to the store to put some distance there before I said something stupid. When I got back home, I was okay. I kissed him, thanked him for doing up some housework and told him to seek me out when he felt human again. then I went about my evening. I went to do the rest of my grocery shopping and the girls and I went to the Y. When we got home DH went w/me to finish up grocery shopping. (we buy a lot of stuff at the dollar store and meats, etc from the grocery store). He was more himself and we talked a bit about our days and our agenda's for the week. Just keep thinking of us. I'll keep you updated.

I just can't thank you enough for your support. It means so much to me. You really are my encouragement angels!

So, I've been kicking around an idea. Let me know what you think. How about, after we all reach our goal weight, we find a central place and meet for a weekend or so. I would love to meet you guys to have beautiful faces to put w/the beautiful hearts I've seen. I have a ways to go yet so we would have time to save for air-fare or whatever. Again, just a thought.

Gotta run. Take care ladies.

Hi Skinny and TOF,

Way to go on the eating and exercising, Skinny. You did great. I can understand that you'd take the humaned out personally. I know I would too. I don't think many people would have handled it as good as you did. I know I wouldn't have. I think the support group is a good idea for BP. I think it's good he wants you part of it. It really sounds like you're going to make it through the jobless sitch and that's a major accomplishment.

And TOF, I'm really impressed with your cooking choices. Healthy and that you did it. I don't like to cook. Yesterday was a perfect example of my dislike for cooking - I chose to not eat instead of cooking. Then the power when out with a snow storm so I had no way to cook. I thought the power out was a blessing. I had a couple tortilla chips and that was dinner. DH was content with the chips too. He's such a sweetie.

I did go to work today like a good girl. I was swamped with emails and voicemails. I don't think what I do is all that imperative to be done but apparently everyone else thinks so. I think that's what I really don't like about work. People's lives revolve around their jobs and they get so persnickity if they don't get immediate resolution. I would have thought more people would have grasped the meaning of life after 9/11 and it isn't work. Anyways, that's my soapbox for today. Everything got done and most people were happy with me.

I don't want to exercise today. I mean, I really don't want to. I caught a cold from the instructor of my class last week, and even though I don't feel all that bad, I don't want to get on the exercycle and pedal. But I will because I have to report it to you two. So, I will do my 30 minutes of pedalling even though I'd rather go back to work if I had the choice.

I've been good eating wise. Yesterday I was under the calories because of no dinner and power outage. Today looks like it'll be closer to 1500 calories so that is good. I just wish the darn munchie monster would stop haunting me. So much of my calories is consumed by empty calories. I worry about the monster since I'm not being too good about avoiding him. So if I'm not while I'm losing weight, what will happen on maintenance? Probably more of the same thing.

I weighed today and I'm still at 189 so that is good. I've decided after seeing a 3 pound water weight gain last week, that I will be thankful for losses and staying the same. Even a pound of water weight is hard to take when you're looking at the scale.

I can go for meeting somewhere as long as it's only like a weekend type of thing. I'm not good at being away from my house for too long. I think it's do to the change that BP people don't like. Traveling is hard on me. Then there's the fact that I miss my babies too much. By babies - I mean my puppies. I do love those doggies. I can talk to DH and sons on the phone but my puppies just don't understand me leaving. They hate when I pull the suitcase out of storage. They just know it'll be bad. Anyway, a weekend trip is definitely something I can do.

Talk to you later and have a great day tomorrow.

Hi all,

It's so good to hear from you as always. It's interesting to hear your perspectives. Marie, it's good to remind us of 9/11 and what that meant as far as living each day well - work is not everything, there needs to be time for more meaningful endeavors. I'm so inspired by your exercise lately and building up the energy to start again.

Skinny, you're right - you have to take care of yourself during this time. That's the gift you can give yourself. You've come so, so far with weight loss and exercise and health! Your DH will do better if you stay the course. Did you know that the news reporter Jane Paulie has bi-polar. She had a special on tv all about it. I believe she wrote a book about it.

I like hearing about your dilemmas with your DH - like him, I get "humaned out" sometimes so I had to laugh when he used that term. My husband is more easy going so he faces that with me sometimes. You were nice to give him space and even nicer to not take it too personally in the long run. One of the challenges of marriages is being together and giving each other space - not always easy.

Yes, the course work is almost over - just a little bit left. I'm left feeling like hard work has its rewards. I've learned so much and it will really refresh my classroom teaching and give me a little pay raise too. Lots of work but lots of learning about myself and my craft. I couldn't have done it without all your support.

A good eating day today - about 1700 - a bit more than 1500, but I used up a lot of energy today too so a good day.

Take care and keep in touch. I look forward to this "chat" every day.

It was good to hear from both of you. I had a good eating day yesterday. I used my 26 points plus 2.5 FP so 28.5 total points. I decided not to write down every single thing I eat here-takes up too much space. So, I'll just tell you how I did point wise. I got in 50 minutes cardio at the Y. And guess what-I actually got to go there by myself! Can you believe it? So, I really had some good me time. It was nice. I took my cd player-popped in Switchfoot and went to work. I thought I was going to pass out but I pushed through it. Whew! I was going to walk this morning but it was chilly and dreary so I brought my gym bag to work w/me and will go to the Y directly after work. I'll probably only get in 30-40 minutes tonight as I have commitments at my church this evening. But at least I'm doing something after two seditary weeks.

Marie-so did you exercise yesterday? I'm sure you did. It sounds like you're working hard to keep on track w/exercise eating habits. That's wonderful. Keep up the good work. It's hard to make yourself do it sometimes. Just don't fall off the wagon like I did! hee, hee. I usually take one day off every week. Most of the time it's Sunday. That's our "lazy" day. We come home from church, eat and take naps! What kind of puppies do you have? We have two outdoor dogs-read mutts. They're good dogs, though. We are going to buy an daschund as soon as money sitch permits. We also have two lovebirds (besides DH and me ). We don't have any cats as I my allergie cause me to swell up like a blow fish around cats.

TOF-Congrats on your good eating habits. Way to go! How many more classes do you have? I hope you're going to have some sort of celebration or reward for yourself after you complete the course. You deserve it! I did know that Jane Paulie was BP. Also, Patty Duke. I want to read both their books but feel I need to read the other one I've already ordered first. It should be in today.

It's so true that people get too wrapped up in their work. My office mgr is one of those people. Drives me crazy sometimes. I have learned to let a lot of it slide off me. My job definitely does not define who I am. That comes my relationship w/God. How quickly we tend to forget hard lessons learned like those learned from 9/11. We need to realize that it could all fall apart tomorrow. No one is immune from troubles and/or heartaches. So hold those loved ones close. Watch the sunset. Make a child laugh. Play in the sand. Write on a sidewalk w/chalk. Call an old friend. Give your DH an extra kiss in the morning. Make sure the folks you love KNOW that you love them. It's so easy to assume that our loved ones know how we feel. Sometimes, though, it's good to say it out loud. Okay, now I'm done w/my soapbox!

Thanks so much for the support I receive here. Life would be much harder w/o the two of you here to encourage me. I appreciate it much! Talk to ya soon.

Hi TOF and Skinny,

I'm here at work and things are much nicer today. The server we were going to upgrade didn't work right (they sent the wrong memory) so I got a break of sorts. I have time to do my normal work. I finally got all my emails down to zero for a couple minutes so I'm not behind anymore. I've also got some other things done so it's been a good morning.

Eating wise, I ate 1445 calories yesterday and I did exercise. DH called and told me to turn on channel 124 and since I don't watch TV I figured it had to be good. It was - Elton John's Dream ticket on DirecTV Freeview. So I turned it up and watched it while I pedalled. Elton John is my favorite artist. So it was great. I then decorated the Christmas tree by myself. It looks really pretty. So I was bopping to music all evening long. Today I have to watch the calories because I had extra calories at breakfast.

Well lunch break is over, so I better get back to work. Take care.
Marie

Hi all. How nice to check in and read all this inspiration. Thanks. Tough day at work. Sometimes I just get over excited and blurt things out all over the place, then I feel bad afterwards. That happened today at work. Something to work on. I guess it's better than blurting out and eating all the treats offered which is what I would have done last year. The kids were out of sorts today too - probably partly a reflection of me. Skinny, thanks for encouraging me to reward myself. I could really use some time to myself. I'm going to try to find some in the next few days - maybe Sat. morning.

Decent eating day. Thanks so much for being here - you really help to keep me on track in so many ways. Take care.

Hope everyone is having a good day. Things here are busy but good.

Yesterday was a good eating/exercise day. I only used 24 points yesterday so well within range. Exercised for 45 minutes on cardio at the Y. It felt good, too!

TOF-sorry you had a rough day yesterday. Hope things are much better for you today. I'm rooting for you to have a very blessed day! My workday was good yesterday but had to deal w/some disorganization problems at church last night. But, overall-a good day. So, what kind of reward do you have in mind for yourself? My rewards tend to run along the lines of new books or clothes.

Marie-I take it that you work w/computers? Hope you're having a great day as well. Did you do well w/calories yesterday? I'm rooting for you as well!

BTW, ladies-I believe my DH will be reading that book, the unquiet mind, as well. He's been doing some research and several sites recommended reading it. DH was supposed to work yesterday but he only lasted 45 mintues! He said the guy he worked w/was a jacka**. It's highly unusual for my DH to talk like that so it must have been rough. Then he went through stages of being hard on himself b/c he didn't stay on the job and b/c he knew how much we need the money. I just let him talk. I didn't judge or offer advice. I just hugged him, told him I loved him and that we would work through all this together.

Well, ladies must run and get some coffee. Got a big caseload to work up for court so I'm going to need the coffee!

Talk to ya soon. Thanks so much for your support. It helps keep me going!

Hi all,

Skinny you handled your husband's issue so well. The guy probably was an issue if he doesn't complain much. Good for you taking such good care of yourself - eating well and exercising. You must be so strong these days!

I had a much better day. I took an hour plus to write, pray, reflect, etc and it really centered me about what I want and what I don't care about. I'm really not into many material things at all. What I really want is to be a better person - more loving, giving, kind, etc. It's a battle for me as I can be a bit of a "show boat" at times and quite self interested, not in terms of my efforts, but in terms of my thoughts, energy. Hope you all don't mind this religion - but I really prayed to be more of a "vessel" that God can work through. By finishing the course I will have reached my goals - now I'm ready to serve more. Thanks for letting me express this. Skinny I know that you do a lot of thinking about this. It makes me feel good to write it down - it really helped center me.

Good eating day. Peeling off the layers of fat and especially the attachment to food has freed me in so many ways. I just feel so good. I appreciate all your support I couldn't have done it without you.

I hope you all have a good evening.

p.s. I ordered the book recommended on this site - "Thin for Life" The moderators are going to host a book discussion about it in the new year. I thought it sounded interesting.

I had to log on one more time to tell you that you inspired me to get to the gym. I'm back. 30 minutes of ex. 10 on eliptical, and 20 on treadmill run/jog/walk. Felt good. Finally weighed myself again. Here's the stats - another 4lbs down.

sw 210 cw 176 gw 150

Thanks again for the encouragement and support.

Hope everyone is having a great day. Yesterday was a good eating day and exercise day. TP:29.5 FP:3.5, walk/run-2 miles. I still have 26 FP for the weekend; not that I'm planning on using them all! Anyway, feeling back in the swing of things.

TOF-Congrats on getting back into the exercise game! You'll be whipping my tail soon if I don't stay w/it! hee, hee. Isn't it great to be a big loser? I think I have that book, Thin for life. Which forum will they be doing discussions on? I'd definitely be interested in participating. Please let me know. I agree w/what you said about being a vessel God can use. Kay Arthur wrote a Bible study entitled becoming a vessel God can use. I believe that's why DH and I are going through some of the things we're going through. I think God is refining us for future kingdom work. Life is hard but God is good! What I'm doing is concentrating on the blessings of my life instead of the trials. I have healthy children, a nice warm home, family and friends who love me and many, many more. My mom used to say that you could greet the day one of two way, Good Lord, it's morning or Good morning, Lord. I choose the latter! At least my DH is here-not on his way to Iraq like one of my friend's DH. We will work through everything w/God's help. I hope you don't mind, but I'll share w/you the scriptures that God has used to give me peace about all this. One is Psalms 37:23-25 and Matthew 6:25-34.

Marie-picked up my book last night. I haven't started reading it yet. I have a rather lengthy article DH printed off for me that I want to read before starting the book. Didn't hear from you yesterday. Hope things are good for you.

Well, coffee is calling my name, as usual! Must go! Hang tough, ladies. Our goals are within our grasps! Stay strong! come here if you don't feel strong! We'll help ya out!! Later.

Hi Skinny and TOF,

I hope you're both having great days. Right now I'm freezing. My district is having a garage sale and all the discard computers are being wiped out and readied for sale. So the techs have the doors open for transporting the computers in and out of our office. Then here I sit at my desk shivering. I sure hope that uses up calories.

Skinny, great to here that you got your book. I think it really helped me accept who I was and the problems that I bring into a relationship. I hope it helps you and your DH. And yes I work with computers. I'm the database manager for our school district. Also now webmaster after last week's class on Dreamweaver. Supposedly I should be an expert now. Ha!!!

TOF, great job on getting to the gym. I bet you feel great and I'm really proud of you to make the time. and the weight loss - YOU ARE DOING SO GREAT!!!! You're an inspiration.

Yesterday was an okay eating day. The munchie monster dogged my every step and caught me at the end of the day. Total for the day was 1600 calories. A 100 over my goal, but not too bad. I have a feeling today will be spent dodging that pesky monster again. I already ate my lunch dessert and it's only 9:45. I guess I'll be hungry this afternoon. Thank heaven for you both. I was ready to blow the whole day until I came and read your posts. Now I'm refocused and ready to be good the rest of the day. Doesn't hurt that I'm full now...

I have to admit I bought my goal reward for the 10 pounds that I have only lost .5 of. I bought the elliptical machine, at least I ordered it. I had to tell DH I spent money and he said, "But that was your reward." I know, bad me, but then I told him he would ahve ordered it too. I got a really good deal. I had tried it in the store for about 3 minutes and really liked it. But it makes me nervous spending $400 for something I don't know if I'll use. So the deal I got: $14.95 for the 1st 30 day trial with free shipping. If after 30 days I don't like it, I can send it back and owe no more. If I do, it's 6 monthly payments with no interest or fee. So for 66 a month, I can budget it in whereas $400 in one shot would be really tough. So I did it, I said yes to the deal and blew my reward. I guess I need a new one.

I better get back to work. Again, thanks for straightening me out.
Marie