I used to be scared as to what my life would be like if I reached goal. I mean tracking calories and logging exercise is something I am obsessed with. It fills my days and is something I am always thinking about. I wondered who am I if I am not TRYING to be at goal...what am I going to do if I get there. But then I hopped over to the maintainers forum and found out maintaining is also a struggle...

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one.
The fear is not so encompassing that I'm not going to lose the weight... it just gives me a little hesitation sometimes.
I've had about 4 or 5 friends who have lost around 50 to 100 pounds and all of a sudden they turned into these increadibly shallow people who only judged people by how they look. When they would see someone who was really large, they would say 'Why don't they just lose weight... I mean I did it'. As if they completely forgot how hard it was to lose it in the first place. Needless to say, i'm not very close with any of them anymore...
I don't want to be judged by my appearance... I know it sounds corny but I want to be either loved or hated by my personality.... not by my waistline.

-D.

I have been worried about being *thin* but was afraid to bring it up...thought I was just wired wrong or something...my biggest fear is my relationship with my BF.

When we met I weighed about 190 and he was honest with me that the weight bothered him. I appreciated his honesty, especially when his biggest concern was my health. Well, in the years we have been together i have gained to over 300 and now I am taking it off...my biggest worry is the impending marriage proposal that I know is in our future...I am scared it will come after I am *thin* and that I will always live in fear of his reaction if I should ever gain weight again.

Don't get me wrong, he is not a shallow person and this is totally *MY* issue, but it does worry me. I know HE loves me for the person I am, I just wonder if I will be able to truly accept that.

I am not scared to lose but I am worried, as someone else said, that I may like the attention too much. I have only lost about 25 lbs so far and am far from where I want to be but it is different already. Then again, I work with almost all men and we all know how they can be. Problem is, I like it. I have always had self esteem issues, and all the compliments and/or looks I get boosts my ego. I am afraid that as I lose more I may take advantage of all that attention.

When I was younger, I worried about losing weight. My fat was my shield. I am 46 yrs. old now and don't have a problem with it. I am settled in a good marriage, so if men flirt, Bring it on. I could care less. I have noticed the flirting is usually someone old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son, so no big deal to me.

I'm afraid of it too. Mostly because I have never been thin and have no idea how I would look thin, and I wonder if it would be like being in someone else's body instead of my own?

I want to be judged on my personality, not my body. But when I am this overweight a lot of people never get past the fat and get to know my personality. And now that I am single again, I really don't want to deal with having extra obstacles in the way of people getting to know me.

So it scares me because I'm afraid I won't feel like "me" anymore, but at the same time I'm committed to do it because I'm tired of being alone, and if people are going to reject me I would rather have it be because of something other than the fact that I am fat.

I was skinny for most of my life - up until ten years ago, I am now 47. I miss the way skinny feels. I don't want to have to look at the chairs in someone's office to decide which looks sturdier. There's so much more work involved with just living when you are fat. I weigh more now than I did at nine months pregnant with a ten pound baby! It was so hard to get around, stand up, roll over, and basically I'm back to that situation all over again and this time I don't have a beautiful baby to look forward to. I miss the general "gymnastics" that happens between a married couple everyday. And let's face it, I've never read anything about sex on this site, but it was definitely better when I was skinny. Or at least there were more choices. So.... I am not afraid of what getting skinny will bring me. I hope I do turn heads. I'm not out walking alone late at night, and let's face it, a few pounds, even a lot of pounds, probably never deterred an attacker. I want to walk proud, not slink by hoping everyone is looking the other way. Guess what - they're not. People are going to check you out no matter what.

reddeborah, I'm with you. I was not chubby as a child, I was a skinny little shrimp. For years as an adult my weight was stable at around 120. Then I started to gain, and it took decades (I'm 58) for me to get to my current weight (185). Inside, I still feel like I weigh 120! It's such a shock to see myself in a mirror, even though I've been like this for so long. "What happened?" I'm always saying.

Don't be afraid of "getting skinny" until it happens and you can experience what it's like. Let other people worry about their own reactions, including DH's, DB's, DW's, whatever!

Jay

No way am I afraid of being skinny... I WAS skinny for a lot of my life and I HATE being fat and can't WAIT to get back there. That is why I am busting my butt to make it happen. I'm trying not to focus on the saggy skin, drooping stomach or whatever I will have to deal with... I'll deal with that when I get there.

I was the chubby kid most of my life. When I was 23 or so I decided I was going to solve all my problems and lose the weight. ( I really thought that!) I went from 200lbs to 135 and you know what? I still had problems, and a few new ones (I was truly offended by those who now gave me attention that never had). My biggest issue was the mirror...who WAS that anyway? I lost it too fast, I didn't even recognize myself. I gained it all back with in 8 years and then some. I learned alot then though, things that are very useful now. Now I just want to feel healthy, energetic and confident. I'm not expecting my weight loss to do anything but make me look and feel better. I don't care who looks at me or why and my DH loves me no matter what.

I don't know... I'm sort of frightened, yes. I've been fat since childhood (always between 20 to 40 pounds overweight, depending on the periods), and I have absolutely no idea of what I'll look like once I reach a "normal" weight. I have quite a sturdy figure, solid bones, square shoulders, big head and square face, as well as D-cup boobs that don't budge no matter if I lose weight or not... So I guess I'm frightened that once I reach an appropriate weight, what was before a fatty but somewhat harmonious/hourglassy silhouette will just look... well, ugly and weird.

I'm not afraid of being skinny because I have no intention of being skinny.

I chose 150 lbs as my goal weight because it was a weight I could maintain relatively easily in the past. I realize it won't be as easy now that I added 100+ lbs since then and also I'm older now. I also realize I may change my goal as I get closer to it. But I can honestly say I don't want to be skinny. I want to be a "normal" weight and I want to be healthy. I don't have to be skinny to be those things.

I use to be scared. Terrified in fact, for a plethora of reasons. For one, I don't want male attention and for two, I needed something to hide behind. Kinda like Jilly said. I still don't want the male attention, but I can't predict the future and say that I will or won't get all that negative attention anymore. I'm more confident now than in those days when I go alot of attention, and martial arts really kinda helps that issue too, knowing I can kick butt if I'm ever attacked again.

What I am scared of, it's spending anymore time having my life controlled by the fat on my body. I'm even scared to go buy a new car, because what if I can't fit in it? 20lbs ago, I had to stuff my butt into a Ford Explorer. I was squished at the hips between the door and the center console. In a Trailblazer, I couldn't get the seatbelt over me hardly at all. I almost didn't get the thing buckled. Those are just a drop in the ocean of the examples I could give.

I'm also scared of leaving my husband a young widow with who knows how much medical bills to try and have to pay on one income? I'm scared I won't get to do all the things I want to do because hey, when was the last time you saw a 300lb mountain climber? When was the last time you saw a 300lb person hiking through the Andes? When was the last time you saw a 300lb person run along the beaches of Hawaii just for fun? I want to wear normal clothes and look cute. As it stands now, I can only wear stuff out of plus size catalogs. I don't want to face being turned down for a job because someone discriminates against fat women in the work place. Furthermore, I'm tired of the attention I get because I'm fat, nevermind the attention I might get for being thin. It hurts being called names and made fun of. In one way, someone hates my body and only thinks of me in terms of my body and in the other way, someone wants my body and still only thinks of me in terms of my body. I can't win either way, there's always going to be jerks objectifying me, so I might as well do what makes me happy. And I'll be happy to be at a healthy weight where I can start living.

The honest truth is, the reasons to be scared of being thin PALE in comparison to the reasons I'm scared of being fat. That wasn't always the case, and I think in my mind I really blew up those reasons to stay fat way out of proportion. Fear can do that to a person.

I wasn't the least bit afraid of that. Was actually looking forward to it. So what if you like the attention. You won't be a different person in the matters of the heart. If you could fall for someone just because they give you attention for being skinny, you could do that now to anyone who would give you attention. But you don't, right? So you're not going to suddenly change to that type of person just because you lose weight. If your DH doesn't like you skinny, he's not the DH you thought he was. You're doing this for you and your health, right? Wouldn't he want you healthy?

These fears are our own undoing. And unless the mentality that creates them can be shed, they can continue holding back weight loss.