I put myself through college waiting tables and in defense of waitstaff everywhere, sometimes they are just so frazzled they don't think. I've had a lot of jobs, but there's something insanely crazy about waiting tables when you are "in the weeds" (so busy you feel like you are truely insane). I'm sure I said a million stupid things, not because I was mean, just stressed!

I definitely used to say "y'all still workin' on that?" all the time - I never meant anything by it! People get so cranky if dirty plates are left on the table sometimes! It's a balancing act to be perfect - get the plates at the exact right minute, when the person is done, before they are aggravated by sitting with dirty plates, heh.

My PERSONAL embarassing waitress story:

I was around 18 years old from a tiny town in NC, very unworldly. Two lesbians came in and sat in my section. I was just flustered since I had never actually seen a female couple before (not that I had any problems with it). But, it was still a surprise to my small town upbringing. Anyway, I worked in a Mexican restaurant (A Chi-Chis) and we always served a hot and mild salsa with the chips. Most couples tended to make a big deal about the placement of the hot/mild salsa (HE likes hot, SHE likes mild - or whatever, I was used to it). I was bringing a refill of the basket of chips and salsas. When I was putting the salsa on the table, I MEANT to say "I forget who likes what" and what I actually said was "I forget who likes who." I nearly died of embarassment! The couple were cool about it and were nice to me and left me a decent tip, but my cheeks flush just thinking about it!

Oh, Glory! I feel your pain ... that's funny!

The diet coke thing is a bit of a surprise....around here I notice the only people drinking diet coke are overweight....got me thinking actually the last event I was at.

I was a server too off and on for many years while in high school and post secondary. It is difficult working with people all day. I did enjoy it though.

I would never make comments like that to people....but you seem to have the right attitude regarding it all.

Are there still ChiChi's around....I used to love that restaurant....none in these parts anymore.

I never understood the obsession with servers clearing plates the minute you are done with them. It does seem like the last thing they should be worried about.

Anyhow good post.

L

OMG! Diet Coke makes me think of this time I went to Wendy's. I was in the drive-thru and I ordered a taco salad with a Coke. I pull up to the window and there is a really large girl with a headset on. She asked me to repeat my order and I said, "Taco salad with a Coke." She says, "Diet Coke, right?" I said, "No, Coke." She goes, "OK, that's one taco salad and a Diet Coke. Please drive up." WHAT??? She's bigger than me and she's forcing a Diet Coke on me? PLEASE!! I get to the window where you pick up your food and I tell this other large girl, "Make sure I get a Coke and not a Diet Coke." She goes, "Um ... OK." Dontcha know, when I drove away, I knew they had given me a Diet Coke. B*tches. I would have NEVER done that to someone! Who cares what size they were or what size I was? It was just sooooo rude!!! Give me what I want!!! I wrote to Wendy's (they must have thought I was crazy) and I ended up getting free coupons, ha, ha. I had no idea what was up with those girls that day. All I wanted was a regular Coke.

You know I have to say that after reading this list, I've never had anyone say such things to me in a restaurant. They would basically say bye to any hopes of a good tip if they did. (I've only given a small tip once and it was deserved)

I did agree with your list about Lane Bryant though, I've heard those things many times. I also heard Lane Bryant is going to start selling size 12 and the reasoning was because "women can't find their size in regular shops". Sure they can find their size, its called size 14, 16, 18. If someone doesn't want to wear a 14 or 16 in misses sizes, then I guess they can go to Lane Bryant and buy a size 12.

Maybe she knew something about the coke that you didn't?

Eww ... I'm getting nervous now, ha, ha!

This post brings back some memories! My first job was when I was 16 working at McDonald's. I worked with this girl who had no common sense or brains. Her parents, who were doctors, both thought she needed a job so they got her one at McDonald's. She couldn't figure anything out. Well one day a very large lady came to her register and ordered a double quarter pounder meal, super sized with a diet coke. The girl actually asked the lady if she knew how many calories were in that and did it really matter if she ordered a diet coke, it wasn't making the meal any better!!! I was shocked I would never say that to anyone, the girl was jobless very shortly after this incident.

Do they deal with this issue during training at McD's? Do they teach them not to judge or comment on people's meal choices?

L

I've had that thought on more than one occasion. While my parents were visiting us back at the beach, we all went out to Ruby Tuesday's one night. They promptly led us to one of the large booths, with the walls behind the booths so you can't even move the benches back for more room. With my approx. 270 pound dad, 276 pound daughter, me 60 pounds into pregnancy and people thought I was sporting twins, and our friend who is well over 300...all we could do was ask for a table. You would think it would have been fairly obvious. With only two people who could've fit at that booth, out of 6, we couldn't even put 3 on each side and move the table in on the smaller ones. Sometimes you just get this feeling that it's some inside joke. Like they stand back at the sidelines snickering watching all the fat people trying to press their tummies into the booth. I know that's not happening, but when you're trying to squeeze in there, it's one of the thoughts that can run through your mind. Right alongside the thought...which idiot thought we'd fit in this thing?

I usually give good tips. The service has to be fairly horrid before I'd give a small one. However, it was once so bad that we left .09 cents...and a note saying "You weren't worth a dime."

Wow. People are idiots! I was shopping with my guy friend, who is probably around 280-300, and he wanted to go into Abercrombie to shop for his little sister's birthday. I was about four feet away looking at one rack, he was at another, and this guy came up to him and said, "I'm sorry, but Abercrombie & Fitch doesn't make clothing in your size, sir." Luckily, He has a sense of humor.

Ugh, I hate that attitude. I had a similar response when shopping in a store for my sister (size 8). I didn't know what to say, so I just left, but wish I had had a snappy comeback.

How about "I'm buying socks." or "These are going to be my goal pants! How much more do you think I have to lose before I'll fit into them?" or "But I'm a size 6!" Anything to make the jerkoff uncomfortable.

Yeah, I've encountered rude salespeople as well. My favorite was the twit who came up to me in Sears one time and tried to run me out of her section! She said they didn't have anything in my size there, which was kinda funny since I'd had my hand on a dress in my size not 10 seconds before.

And I bought my size-18 prom dress at Dillard's, way back when. Every department store has a plus section, and usually there are also plus sizes in with the rest of the formal dresses.

Another tangent...when my best friend was shopping for a bra for her wedding, her mother called around to several shops to ask if they carried her size. One gal told her that the size didn't even exist (I suggested Christina and I go there and plop our boobs on the counter to prove her wrong, but no one was going for it). So when it came time for me to shop for a bra, I went to the same store where Christina had bought hers, since I wore that size, and when I asked for it the saleslady was very confused that they'd apparently carried that size once upon a time (still did, in fact, she walked into the back & found it). It was apparently a weird size; I once got into an argument with a saleslady at Lane Bryant over whether or not they carried it--she said they did, but that cup size started two band sizes after the one I needed.

I am so easily distracted...

I think you should have plopped your boobs on the counter. I would have died laughing. I don't know why sales clerks and waitstaff are so clueless. It doesn't take common sense to ask what size someone is looking for or if they want a booth or a table. They have to learn to ask a general question, not one that is so restricting. How do they know what size I am? Looks can be deceiving, you know. It's just so rude.

You know what I hate? When the waitress leads me and my Mom to a booth and she WATCHES US sit down. It's almost like, "I gotta see this." I mean luckily I can still slink inside (although my stomach is sometimes making love to the table) but my Mom needs a little more room. I always try to pull the table closer to me so that she won't look like she's trying to fold herself to sit down. I've been asked a few times, "Do you need more room?" Sometimes I put my feet down and push the bench out further. I hate the ones that are glued to the wall!!!!!!!!