Judy, it's great to see all these positive steps you're taking. I love the idea of aiming for your next 10 percent and writing it down as a goal. What a good idea. And way to go with that mile on the treadmill! Woo-hoo! Is there anything that makes the treadmill enjoyable for you -- TV, music, reading, books on tape? I find I stick with my exercise routine far more if it doesn't just feel like routine. That's why I'm so enjoying these Richard Simmons tapes, because I feel like I'm dancing at a party.

Lin, you're so right -- this is about more than just weight loss. The habits and new coping mechanisms I'm developing have far-reaching implications for other areas of my life, too. I find as I bring one area under control and start to see success, I'm more likely to extend that to other areas of my life, too. Like setting time aside to write every day, I hope.

Yesterday I tried doing Pilates again. I think I've finally found a tape that's at about my level -- or at least gives me something achieveable to aim for. My stomach muscles hurt a little today, but I think that's probably a good thing.

My feet have started to hurt a bit from all the extra exercise, which is why I'm switching to Pilates some days instead of aerobics.

This isn't official because it was just a weigh-in at home rather than at WW, but I still want to tell the Turtles ... yesterday I finally hit VIRGIN FAT TERRITORY!!! My scales said 213.5, a weight I've never seen while on WW. I'm so happy. That's nearly 13 pounds lost since I started back at WW, although that's a skewed number since I artificially pumped up that initial weigh in (wearing shoes, drinking lots of water before getting on the scales, etc.). It's probably more like 9 pounds off, which still makes me very happy.

Well, today I'm off to finish applying for unemployment benefits. Have a wonderful, healthful, productive day, everyone. Be good to yourselves, and keep working toward achieving your dreams.

Onward and downward,

Lauren
274/213.5/199 by Christmas (my scale in the a.m.)

Hi, Turtles,

Hey, Judy, great work on that treadmill. Exercise is so important and yet it seems to be the most difficult habit for us to add to our lives.

I love the idea of starting over, in a sense, by setting a new 10% goal. I think breaking your weight loss goals into little pieces, like a new 10%, can help make it doable.

I don't think it will matter much whether you follow the Wendie Plan or just stick within your point range. The important thing is that you do this in a way that you can live with.

Lauren, tell us a bit about Pilates. It really appeals to me, but I haven't tried it yet. Also, I agree with you about Richard Simmons. It does feel like you're dancing at a party. I like to hum along with the songs on the warmups when I'm not working too hard to sing.

Super congrats on that virgin fat territory! It's so great to see you rewarded for all of that hard work you've been putting in.

I've been mulling over my options for how best to spend my time, as you all know. I've explored a lot of options and the one that I want the most is to write my stories. I still would like to pursue cooking, but that's not feasible right now and it's really a secondary dream in my life. My first memory of wanting to write for a living was when I was ten years old. I think I'd thought about it before that, but it was the first time I remember writing a story that wasn't a class assignment. I didn't think about cooking until I was in my thirties.

So, I've decided that I have to "hire myself" as a writer. I plan to organize my life the way I did when I was working, but "go to work" in front of my computer or at the dining room table. (Some of my stuff I write longhand and some on the computer.) I plan to "pay myself" by setting aside a little money for things like books from my list of books I want to read but couldn't afford while dh was out of work, some new dishes at the Noritake outlet in Gilroy, exercise videos, and other things to treat myself.

Now, I have to get my dh to wrap his brain around the concept and help out the way he did when I was getting paid to do work for the brain dead. He agrees with the concept and thinks I'm a good enough writer to be publishable. I think if I work really hard and show him that I'm serious, I can gradually get him to pick up the slack like he does when I'm doing paid work. I hope that eventually, it will be paid work, but if I don't take it seriously enough, it never will be.

I've been pleased with my eating habits the past few days. I've been doing something a bit different, as I mentioned. I've been eating what I want within the guidelines of good nutrition. And paying a lot of attention to when I'm full and when I'm hungry. I've been eating really small portions and eating about every 2-3 hours.

I've been noticing that since I'm not feeling so stressed and it's not PMS I've not been tempted to overeat. So, this little experiment has helped me to see what my main causes of overeating are. That gives me something to work on. Two things -- What to do when I'm stressed. And my PMS issues. I'm doing better with the latter. Last month, after being really strict with my calcium, etc., I only had 2 days of really bad PMS eating. So, that seems to be the key for me until I get medical insurance and can get that checkup I so badly need.

Hope you all are doing great today.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin

Hi turtle friends,

Thanks again for all your good thoughts. I went to my meeting on Saturday and lost 3.5 and told my leader about the miscarriage. Even though I got another 5-lb star (56.5 pounds off) I didn't have her announce it because I didn't want to make a big deal about it.

I haven't been doing too well this week - haven't been journaling at all and haven't been exercising, although I did get some in while we were camping in the Adirondacks this past weekend. It was a great trip and I only had two s'mores and few other little treats, so hopefully I'll stay the same. I think I can do better next week, once I'm totally back in my routine. I'm trying to do well today. I see the doctor on Monday and once I get a clean bill of health from him, I think I'll feel better.

I'm happy to hear that everyone is doing well program-wise and life-wise.

Virgin Fat! Congrats, Lauren! And very exciting about the non-plus size clothes, too. It sounds like going to meetings has really helped motivate you - I know they help me.

Lin - which Pilates tape are you doing? Do you need any special equipment? Good luck with the writing - this sounds like a very exciting time in your life.

Judy - I love your meeting review - I go on Saturdays, so I always get a preview of what to expect from your post. Unconscious eating has always been a problem for me - it's easy to forget what you're eating when you don't pay attention to it to begin with. Don't worry about the new number - just keep working and it will go down. I really like the new 10% idea.

Mousie - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your hubby. Good luck!

Kathy - planning always helps me to stay on track too - keep on going, you can do it.

Have a great weekend, everyone! I've got four picnics in four days - I'm going to work hard to fill my plate with veggies and go easy on everything else.

Kimmers
332/275.5/269 (2nd 10% goal)

Hi, Turtles,

Kimmers, it's great to hear from you.

I'm sure you'll do better once you get back to your regular routine, as you suggested. It really is harder when your routine is totally upset. And your life has taken a major unexpected direction.

You have a great plan for the weekend. People usually bring a lot of veggies to picnics.

I think you misread my post. I'm not doing Pilates. I'm interested in it and was asking Lauren about her experiences with it.

I told my dh about my plan to hire myself and to pay myself with a small amount of cash to use for whatever I want each week. He thinks it's a great idea. And he even said that he's willing to help out with the housework the same way he does when I have a job working for someone else. The only thing he said that's at all negative is that I have to work toward finishing one project, not start seven different ones each week. (I refrained from saying, "Duh!", since I'm very aware of that tendency that I have.)

So, I'm planning to spend the weekend getting ready for my new job, the same way I have in the past. Getting the house clean and the errands done. Making sure that the dinner plan is easy and can be done in the time I will have available. The best part is that I don't have to commute, which gives me more time to get the daily stuff done around here.

It also makes it easier to stick with my health goals and I won't have to spend a lot of time making my lunch the night before. Not having to commute also gives me a little time to go for walks. Walks actually clear my head and help get the writing flowing, so it accomplishes two goals at once.

I went for walks yesterday and today. My power was out for an hour this morning, so I took my walk early. There's a grocery store shopping center that's about a mile and a half from my house. I'm aiming to be able to walk there and back. Right now I make it to the first stop sign. I don't know how far that is, but I don't want to push myself too much because I haven't been exercising as regularly as I like to.

Hope all of you are still doing fine. Hi to all of you lurkers. We know you're there because our little group doesn't read quite as many times as the number of views this thread gets. We hope our often long posts are of help to you in your journey.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin

Wow~ We're busy again. I love to hear lots of turtles chime in.
Kimmers, you're really doing well now. My heart goes out to you.
Here's a hug. I think it's wonderful that you're at WW, and I'm glad my previews help a little. Have fun at the picnics and enjoy yourself.

Lauren,
Congratulations on your virgin fat loss territory. That's a great thing to be proud of. I know your writing about your definite aim of losing by Christmas made me kick myself and get going again.
I was behaving more like a napping hare than a consistent tortoise. So--here we go again. My daughters do Pilates now and then and consider it a great workout. Smart of you to change exercise before you have physical problems with your feet. You can always go back to the aerobics once your feet are in great shape. I am also thinking of digging out my Richard Simmons tapes because I really get happy when I play and exercise to them. They're so much fun and I work up a sweat too!

Lin,
You must have the best dh in the world. He really understands you and is so supportive. This is an ideal time to get the writing underway. Your house is quiet and you can shape a working/writing environment right now. I envy you=--and then I think why do I envy her when I can do the same thing? Nothing stops me from writing early in the morning or late at night. I'm listening to Steven King's On Writing audiobook on tape right now. It really points out so many things about writing. When I write poetry I fly by the seat of my pants. My short story attempts have been futile so far, but there's always tomorrow.
My class is okay. The kids are cute, but noisy, so I have my work cut out for me this year. Hard to balance the little ones who could cry at the drop of a hat and the little ones who are clueless as to the fact that they're talking. They really don't realize that they are~I enjoy teaching and I hope I can shape this class up and make it an enjoyable experience for all of us. Having calm in the classroom helps me to keep my emotions in check and makes eating correctly just that much better.

I got on the treadmill this morning again. I'm really proud of myself. I had been working on focusing on losing five pounds at a time, but I didn't pull that together. Then I thought about how successful I was in WW when I first started and how I worked toward my ten percent, so I am trying to duplicate that feeling. That's why I'm focusing on the ten percent. Plus--like Lauren--I'd be in virgin WW weight loss territory. It's a good thing. Another thing I did was to put my huge scale (like a home version of a doctor's scale) in a closet! It makes it much harder to get to and weigh myself. I figure that will help a lot too.

I gotta run--everyone have a good weekend and I'll check in on Monday.

Judy
235/thinner/199 by Christmas

Hi, Turtles.

You know, I really love this group. It's not big, but it's special -- unlike anything else out there. Thank you, each one.

Lin, love your pay-yourself-as-you-go idea for writing. I may steal aspects of it. Instead of paying myself, I think I'm going to aim to getting something written and sent to at least one publisher before I go back to work. Dunno yet what it will be, but that's a goal that's floating around my head right now. And working up to walking 3 miles sounds like a great plan! Ambitious enough to be a good challenge, and do-able when you break it down and build up slowly.

About Pilates. It's basically a series of small exercises (the version I do is done on a mat on the floor), done with only a few repetitions, intended to do two things: strengthen your abdominal muscles, and help you elongate and stand taller. I was very surprised when my abdominal muscles were sore the day after I did my 20-minute beginning Pilates tape. I didn't feel like I'd done all that much. I was impressed. I find those kinds of exercises much more boring than my aerobics tapes, so I'm having a harder time making myself do them. But I really do need to. A strong abdomen leads to a strong back, which I want.

Kimmers, it's good to see you going to WW, going camping, going to picnics. You're doing so well, even though I know you must still be hurting. I love the Adirondacks! We'll be there in less than a month for our annual fall pilgrimage. Where in the Adirondacks did you go? I didn't realize you lived in NY.

Judy -- woo-hoo on that treadmill! And I think your attitude toward your students sounds wonderful. I'll bet you're a favorite among the kids. I didn't realize Stephen King wrote a book on writing. I'd be interested in checking that out. Although I'm not a fan of the horror genre, I've been very impressed with his other stories (like The Shawshank Redemption). In particular, he's a master at plot, and I think that's my weakest point. Thanks for mentioning the book.

I got a call last week from a headhunter (who also used to work for the company I just left), and an email from a former co-worker reminding me that if I ever wanted a job with her company, I was told in the past that I could have one. (Long story, but one of the muckity-mucks there did tell me that a couple years ago when I was a consultant there.) I still want to give this little start-up company a chance, though, and I don't really want to work for this other company. Still, it's nice to know people are looking out for me.

I had a friend visiting this weekend, and I'm so glad I banked a lot of points earlier this week! I was slightly over points the past three days. Today we went out for Sunday brunch, and I figure I ate 26 points in a single meal!!!!! Ay carumba! I wore my size 18 jeans to the brunch in order to remind me to take it easy, and I actually did think I'd done very well; I only took tiny bites of different things. I guess what did me in was that there were so *many* different things! Needless to say, I had a very light dinner tonight.

Tomorrow and the next day I'll be attending a seminar intended to help you find a job. My ex-company is paying for all laid-off employees to attend this, and I've heard it's very good. So I'm actually looking forward to it, even though I usually hate sitting in a meeting room for 8 hours straight.

Here's to a great week,everyone.

--Lauren

Hi, Turtles,

Great job on the treadmill, Judy. Doing another 10% sounds like the way to go for you. I'm a believer in not weighing myself too often, so I applaud your decision to put the scale away.

Lauren, thanks for the info on Pilates. It definitely sounds like something I want to try when I get the money together for a beginner's tape. That great posture and strong stomach muscles are two things I've always wanted to achieve.

The seminar about how to find a job must be a new thing that companies are doing. My dh's company did that, too. But his seemed to be more focused on exploring what field you want to look for work in rather than finding new employment in his current field. Hope yours is helpful.

I'm not a Stephen King fan, either. I've read other books that fit the horror genre that are much more frightening than the one I read of his. I had seen his book on writing and looked at it. I have other books on my shelf that I think are more valuable to me as a writer. I think that's mainly because I have so many other books and I've read his advice before. The interesting part is his bio. How he came to be a writer.

You're welcome to whatever part of my plan you wish to take. I like your idea, but since I write novels, it will be a while before I have anything ready to send out. I needed something to keep me going through a long project.

I don't know how far my current walk is, but it takes about 30 minutes. And I'm doing it. Yay for me.

I also got a good start on my writing project. I picked which story I want to work on. I went through my notes and brainstorming ideas and the draft I'd started. I'm pulling out the parts I want to keep and moving in a slightly different direction. The draft I started has some good writing, but the plot needs revision.

I weighed myself and I lost a pound, but I don't know why. I'll take it, anyway.

Talk to you all tomorrow. Hope all of you are doing well and achieving all of your goals and dreams.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin

Lauren,
Meant to congratulate you on getting into regular sized clothing. What an accomplishment! I am so close myself. You and I are about the same weight now and we're spurring each other on. I'm only 5'4" tall, but I figure every pound I knock off will make me look and feel better.

Lin,
What a great idea about paying yourself to write. Good luck on your novel. I do like Stephen King a lot. He grabs me right away.
For others who might be interested, his book is called On Writing
by Stephen King.
On the treadmill I use lots of entertainment. I have a tiny TV hooked up in the room with the treadmill and watched Imus this morning. I also have audiobooks on tape that are usually fiction and thrillers--some self-help books as well. I love distraction because once I am on the treadmill I don't mind it too much, but it is boring. I am determined to keep going with this. I think I lost two pounds or thereabouts this week. I have stayed off the scale, but this morning I couldn't stand it and hopped on. Voila! It looks like I've lost more than a pound. My real challenge today is to keep on track.
What a nightmare with the terrorist attacks.
I am at work and our information has been scanty. I hope and pray for the poor people in the path of these terrorists.
Take care
Love,
Judy
234/thinner

Hi, Turtles,

Judy, when I had a stationary bike, I used to put in videos and watch movies. I got up to an hour of cycling. Unfortunately, I had to give up the bike when we moved into a small apartment. Way to go with your treadmill!

Sometimes when you're a writer, you feel as if you ought to have words for any and every occasion. But not this one. Yesterday was a nightmare. My sons both called me and their thoughts were kind of telling. One asked me what the h--- was going on. Of course, Mom had no answer for that one. The other one said that everyone he had talked to who had seen the tape said that it looked like a movie. Does that mean that moviemakers are getting really good or does it mean that some people have forgotten that life isn't like the movies? Actors get up and do their next project, but people don't.

I'm praying for those who were in the buildings and for their families and friends. I'm also praying for America, that our leaders will choose the right actions, balancing our free society against the need to protect its citizens. If they take away our freedom in the name of protection, the terrorists will have won. Maybe not the victory they wanted, but they will have won, anyway.

On a more personal note, sort of. One of the chefs I watch on TV was executive chef of a restaurant on top of the World Trade Center. I checked out their web site, but they haven't updated it to reflect whether or not any of their employees or management was in the restaurant when the planes hit (or even that it no longer exists). Even though I, of course, have never met him or eaten at his restaurant, it still feels sort of personal. So, I'm praying for him and his employees and family.

I admit that my weight loss efforts seem insignificant today. But I know that I have family and friends who would be upset with me if I let myself get sick because I didn't take care of myself. And I have a lot of things I want to do in life and I intend to be around to do them. For me, that makes it significant.

Also, my brother could use your prayers today. He goes in) may even be there already) for that second surgery on his lung. The bad part is that he has had more seizures, which doesn't bode well for the status of the long term success of his brain surgery.

I didn't do any writing yesterday. I was a little numb most of the morning from the horrible news. My brain kept trying to make sense out of the sensless. I tend to feel things pretty deeply, and I tend to withdraw from normal activity for a while when I get upset. But, I'm ready to get back to work today. I think that I can get over it, so to speak, more quickly than usual because it's something I have no control over. Plus, writing will keep my mind busy so I don't worry about my brother. Which is another situation I can do nothing about.

Hope everyone is doing OK. I hope none of you have to face losing loved ones in this awful attack on our country. God bless.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin

Hello, tortoises.

Yes, this is a nightmare. It vividly reminds me of what it was like being in the Philippines and not knowing who the government was going to be from day to day (I was there during the revolution). Thankfully we're not in that boat, but the thought of what all those victims went through is beyond words. I'm continuing to pray for anyone who might still be trapped alive in the rubble and for all the loved ones left behind by those who died.

I didn't go to my WW meeting last night. Everything around here was pretty much closed, so I figured there probably wasn't a meeting. I have a concert to go to tonight, so I'll go to a meeting tomorrow night.

I weighed in this morning, and I'm down another 2 pounds on my home scale -- 212.5. I suspect the WW scales won't show that loss tomorrow since I'll be wearing heavier clothing now that the weather is colder (I found out that my jeans alone weigh 2 pounds!), and also I'll have had sushi for lunch -- lots of salt. That's OK; I'm still very encouraged. Banked another 18 points, and worked out 5 hours. I think I've found my niche.

Lin, I'll add your brother to my prayers. What's his first name?

Judy, I'm 5'4" too! I wouldn't say I'm really in plain Misses sizes yet, except for the occasional fluke. (I hate tight clothes and won't wear them.) But I'm very close! Congrats on your weight loss this week. Lin, congrats to you too. Yes, our efforts in this area seem insignificant in light of what's happened, but Lin, you wisely point out that taking care of ourselves is never insignificant.

Onward and downward,

Lauren
274/212.5/199 by Christmas (home scale, a.m.)

Glory! We know many people who work in Manhattan downtown including my daughter, but by a miraculous series of flukes they are all safe. For those who didn't make it and for their families, I send my prayers. America will never be the same.

Lin,
I am sending prayers for your brother and his surgery. What a nightmare. Good for you for getting back to your writing as soon as you can. I figure the more these terrorists change our lives the more power we give them and the more successful they have been. I am determined to get healthy and slimmer and make all I have of a life count!

Lauren,
I had the feeling you were tall. How's that? I am very impressed with the amount of exercise you are getting in each week. It's been successful and a nice amount of time now. Good for you!Our WW mtgs. stayed open even last night. Rhoda Rubin owns the whole franchise for Suffolk County on LI here in NY and had a hard time deciding what to do. She finally decided to keep open for those who wanted to come in, make contact with a support group, and just even hang out. Last night I skipped my prayer meeting group because I wanted to be with my husband, but today I tried to get back into routine. I went to WW and weighed in. I was down 1.2 pounds and feel I've made a turnaround. I wish I had lost more, but this is good and it is great that I have started going in the right direction. Working hard, I could hit 199# by Christmas and that's a very good thing. Our meeting had nothing to do with food. We talked about the terrorists and the nightmare and tried to give each other support. One woman got close to WW stuff when she said she had overeaten yesterday because of the misery and emotion of the tragedy and she was afraid not to come to our meeting.

Kathy, Kimmers, Mousie==I wish you all well. Keep on keepin' on.
Judy
234/thinner

Hi, Turtles,

Lauren, congrats on that weight loss. And even bigger congrats on finally finding a way to work this program that is bringing consistent success.

You have certainly lived an exciting life, at least for part of it. Or maybe it feels like it to this gal who would like to travel all over, but never goes far because the budget doesn't allow. I'm doing what I can about that by persisting in my writing efforts.

My brother's first name is Charlie. He came through the surgery fine. My mother didn't have a lot of details. She said he'll have to be watched very carefully for the next year. He still has a lot to go through before he's even close to being out of the woods. So, we're keeping up the prayers.

Judy, I'm so glad the folks you know are all safe. I know it must be awful for those people whose friends, relatives, coworkers, etc. are still missing. I shudder to think of how many people will never be identified. I find that kind of hatred so impossible to understand. For me, one of the worst videos of all was of the Palestinians celebrating the deaths of all of those people. And at least two of the people on one of the planes were small children, 2 and 4 years old!

On a brighter note--Congratulations on that turnaround and the 1.2 pounds. Don't worry about the speed. That's why we're turtles, remember? We care about the process, just moving on, not how fast or slow it goes. At least that's the theory. It's often hard to get our brains to accept that, though, since we've been inundated with "lose weight fast" ads, articles, and theories about how to do that forever. Go ahead and aim for that Christmas goal, but if you fall a bit short, be glad for the way it spurred you on to stick with your program.

I've been feeling rebellious against all of the effort it takes lately. I just wanted to cruise along and let things go. But I'm not happy when I do that. So, I'm planning to crank back up and count points again starting tomorrow. Sometimes I just need a small break to regroup and figure out what I really want.

It's so much easier just to do whatever comes up and not worry about things. I've not been quite at that level of unconcern, but working my way toward it. I realized, though, that I'm letting myself get stuck in a rut because I felt so bad about moving, etc. I felt stuck and I was living my life as if I were stuck. I felt like a bird in a gilded cage. I'm determined not to let that become a permanent state of mind. So, I'm getting back to being completely OP. And I'm including at least a walk. I'd like to try to do some videos, some swimming, maybe save up for some skates. Maybe there's a rink around here, but I've never seen one. It's one of my secret passions. I love skating. I feel like I'm flying when I whizz around on wheels. My kids were really surprised at how fast I go.

Gotta get back to work. It feels weird to say that, since a lot of people wouldn't see it that way, but it's my work and I don't care if no one but me is paying for it right now. I can't sell what I haven't written!

Happy turtlin'!

Lin

Judy, I'm so glad the people you knew are safe. There are two people I knew who could've been involved -- one at the Pentagon, one in the WTC. Both are safe -- the woman who was supposed to be on an upper floor at the WTC (above 90) was at an off-site conference!

Congrats on that wonderful weight loss and on feeling that you're turning things around. That's really what this journey is, I think -- a series of turnings. Many times during the past 3+ years, I've gradually lost focus and found myself returning to old habits. Then I've turned it around, lost the weight I've gained, and forged a little further ahead into virgin fat territory. The first time, I gained back 16 pounds before I turned around. The last time, it was 9 pounds. I see that as progress; I'm catching it quicker. I'd like to get to the point where I can catch it within just a few pounds. I'll consider that absolute success.

Lin, I'm so glad Charlie came through OK. I'll keep him in my prayers.

I agree with you about that Palestinian video. It's horrible. It's hard to watch something like that and not feel hatred myself. We have a lot of Arab-Americans in the metro Detroit area (the largest group of Arab-Americans in the country), and there have been threats made against them since Tuesday. I hope they'll be OK.

I didn't know you roller-skated! That's great! I wish I could do that. I grew up on ice skates, and I could never get the hang of the wheeled version. (I'm not very good on ice, either!) It looks like so much fun. Have you ever done roller blades? One of my fantasies would be to ice skate down a river.

It sounds like you're ready to work hard on losing weight again, and that's great. It is hard, no doubt about it. And it's easy to lose motivation, especially when other things are happening in your life. I'm going to have to fight that during my period of unemployment, and I'll have to fight it even harder once I start my new job. (I tend to overeat when I start a new job, due to stress.)

You've at least paid attention to staying healthy during your break, so you'll be in a good position to move forward now. I'm finding that in a lot of ways, this is easier to do when I'm not working. I have more time to work out and more time to prepare healthy food instead of just grabbing a frozen meal or going out to eat. I suspect that's part of what's behind my recent consistent weight losses. Even my last month or so of work, I wasn't very busy, and that let me get to work late so I had more time to work out in the morning.

Looks like I won't be attending WW at all this week. There are no local meetings tomorrow, which is a pain, and I have an all-day seminar on Saturday (on death and healing). I've already paid ahead for the week (I bought the 6-month plan), so it's my loss. Ah, well. I'm happy with the way I've been eating and exercising, so that should carry me through.

I hope our other turtles are OK and that their loved ones are also OK.

Onward and downward,

Lauren

Hi, Turtles,

Wow! I totally agree with your definition of success, Lauren. It's so much more realistic than assuming that once all of the weight is gone, you will never slip again and have to deal with losing, the way most people do. (That old "diet mentality".) Rather, you're assuming that you may, at times, gain a few pounds, but you will have gained the tools and habits you need to deal with them. That's super.

You may find that while you're unemployed, there are things that are easier and things that are harder about doing this. I found that when I was at home or going to school, WW was easier than when I was working for other people. Most of the problem, for me, was being in jobs where I didn't have control over my time and schedule, though. Having that autonomy is one of the biggest reasons I love creative work, writing, art, photography, or even web design or cooking, where you can have your own business.

I'm sure that missing your WW meeting, while it disrupts things a bit, will only result in a better number next week. You've been working so hard and showing such good results. I'm sure one missed meeting won't derail you.

I love ice skating, too. But I haven't been able to do much of it. A lot of the things that I enjoyed when I was growing up I wasn't allowed to do because my mother didn't like doing them. And if she didn't like it, she decided that I didn't like it, either. Ice skating was one of those things I only got to do if my Girl Scout troop went there on an outing because my mother only liked to roller skate.

So, when I grew up, I started doing some of the things I wanted to do when I was a child. The only ones I haven't at least tried are the super expensive ones like taking horseback riding lessons or learning to scuba dive. If I ever can afford it, though, I'm gong to try both of those things.

I must admit that even though it's been very painful dealing with my mother, doing the things I always wanted to do when I reached adulthood has helped me in a lot of ways with my weight-loss efforts. Because it taught me that it's never really too late. Maybe I'll never be a world-class flutist, but I can make music, even if I didn't start playing until I was 19.

And since I had already waited my whole childhood to try things, there was no way I was going to wait to be thin to try other new things. Or to take classes in the things I wasn't allowed to do because my (supposedly) fat self would embarrass my mother in leotards or a swimsuit. And I was supposed to be too ashamed of myself to want to dance or take synchronized swimming. It never did occur to her that doing either, or both, of those activities may have improved the way I looked in those leotards or swimsuits.

Now, I'm noticing that I'm falling into the trap of midlife. Starting to want to just stay in the rut I'm in. Losing that sense of adventure. Wanting security over fun. And I'm positive that if I let that continue, my creativity will suffer. And so will my weight loss efforts. It's easy to decide to stay fat when you're my age because this is the age of invisibility. Middle-aged ladies aren't considered sexy, so what difference does it make if you're fat? (According to conventional wisdom.) But, a lot of middle-aged ladies are taking aim at that idea and making changes in their attitudes, forcing our culture to slowly change it's attitude, too.
So, I'm looking for ways to shake things up a bit, including in my weight-loss efforts.

It's time to make some changes. I'm not sure what kind, but even tiny ones will keep me from following the same old path and help me to continue to see the world in that cockeyed way creative people do. I do miss my creative kids. They come up with the most mind-stretching things all the time.

Hope all of you are doing well. Hope everyone's loved ones are safe. I extend my deepest condolences to anyone who has lost loved ones or who still have loved ones missing in NYC or Washington D. C.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin

Hello to all,
Wow, love to read our e-mails. Thanks for such a lot of great insight.

Lin--
I have an article here from Newsday, our LI paper, about the chefs at the Windows of the World--the restaurant at the top of the twin towers. Here's what it says : Windows was that rare NY culinary hybrid, a restaurant beloved both by visitors and locals. While the pull it exerted on tourists was undeniable, it also received high marks from the critics, particulary under the direction of current executive chef, Michael Lomonaco. Whiteman and Gold are executive chefs of the company and stated: There wouldn't have been afull staff there, because the banquet season isn't in high gear, but there were undoubtedly people having breakfast in the Greatest Bar on EArth, and there would have been a staff to serve them. : From this, it seems as though your chef from TV is probably okay. I mourn for all those in the building--Judy

Yesterday I went off track and, as promised, I am reporting it here so that I don't keep off track all weekend. The food was too good, the emotions too high. Today I am going to have fun with my son, his wife and baby, and all the other relatives popping in to meet Claire. I've got food ready, more or less, and I'm going to try real hard to diminish its importance to me.

Everyone keep on keepin' on--I'll respond to your posts soon.

234/thinner by Christmas!