Kayley-going on an underwear binge actually sounds fun. I’d love to be able to wear something really sexy that didn’t come in a size big enough to be used as a parachute.

Wyllenn-your talking about a year ago mostly buying frozen or prepared foods became very alive for me at the grocery store yesterday. I was in line behind a woman who weighed about 275 lbs. and her cart was full of trans fat, sodium, and empty calories. I wanted to reach out to her, but know that never works until someone is ready to reach out for help.

Lilion-I’m glad my bike story inspired you to try a two-wheeler, so I’m sorry to admit that I was serious. I had one in St. Pete that I completely redid in corvette yellow with black trim. It looked like a mini-sub. Paint anything bright yellow, and it will look cooler. I also love that feeling of being “normal.” It has been so long. I tripped yesterday. We had a plumber over, and he had forgotten his flashlight, so I went to get one, and got my foot caught in my backpack strap. I went down, laughed at myself, and then got right back up. Just being able to get up off the floor is something I couldn’t do even six months ago. They didn’t have to call fire/rescue or a fork lift. No TV cameras arrived to photograph the airlift. My husband was mortified, but I liked how normal it all seemed.

Heather-Even if losing a 100 lbs. doesn’t show on the outside, I’m sure it shows in your joints, and veins, and arteries. I’ve been able to cut my blood pressure medicine dosage 6 times, and I am just on the verge again of needing to. I want to be in a bikini tomorrow, but have to be satisfied to know that my insides are liking me better.

Erin-all women who come in the large economy size are more than welcome. I hope you can find here what you need.

Teahoney-I wondered where you wondered off to. Hop back on the horse, and remember the only failure is to totally give up.

Dogpal-I love the first week of starting a diet. It is like God giving you a quick leg up to keep your hopes up.

As for me, my husband has taken to calling me his Sharpei. I can’t complain because I basically started screaming that I looked like one after looking at myself naked in the mirror. I guess I can’t expect to lose over 250 pounds without having some baggy skin issues. Everytime he says that he doesn’t care what I look like, that I am beautiful, I remind him that he needs to get new glasses. He’s out of town for the night because he has an early morning lecture somewhere 2 hours south of here in a town whose name I can’t pronounce. It will be our first night apart. He wanted to know if I would miss him, and I told him yes, that I’d probably half freeze to death. I just hope I can sleep. This house may be my home now, but I’m still getting used to the sounds it makes and the way it feels.

Catherine -- You are so right that you can't help people until they are ready. My husband is with me on the weight loss journey now, but because we had had issues around weight loss for several years (me wanting to try and him not wanting to try and me then blaming him for why I couldn't try!!) this time I told him NOT to join me. When he finially did hop aboard the weight loss wagon, I knew it was because he wanted to...

I love all your avatars! I'd miss my boys, but maybe it's time for me to post one too...

Okay, there, I did it!

I have not only fallen off the 'wagon', but I got trampled on as the horse ran way the **** away. I've been horrid this week. I'd blame it on PMS, but the truth is, I'm going right back into the same old habits. I'll be honest and say that my hubby and I are completely broke and so the foods we're able to buy aren't the healthiest. I don't buy nearly the crap I used to because it was cheap, but there are a few things that we just have to have in order to make it. Then, when I actually have a few extra dollars for whatever reason, I choose to 'splurge' because I don't know when I'll be able to again. Definitely NOT the way to do it.

I'm thinking about trying to focus solely on exercise/water intake for a while, until our finances become a bit more stable. I'm not going to turn it into an excuse to go all out, but I'm not going to sweat the small stuff either. We eat what we have, we choose as wisely as possible, and the rest is out of our control. So, if I focus on the two things I REALLY suck at but can control, maybe I'll be able to accomplish something.

I am exhausted after working nearly 60 hours this week, so I will leave the individual replies to tomorrow. Have a great night ladies.

I just wanted to stop in and say hello before I went to bed. The funeral for my cousin was today, and I'm pretty drained. This week hasn't been a good food week or exercise week, but then I was only home to sleep all week. I actually did not let the portions get out of control, but there were carbs involved...I think there were live 6 lasangnes brought in in one day. (forgive my spelling if it's wrong I can't remember how to spell it right now). I spent about 18 hours a day at my aunts, so sleep was minimal too. It was one of those times that all you could do was be there...so I was...and now I have to ease back into taking care of me. It's still going to be a long road with them, being there for them. But I think now that everything is out of "emergency" status, I don't have to be over there as much. It's been so hard on them, and it makes you feel so useless...anyway, I'm going to bed. GN all.

OMG i love all the faces!!!! its awesome!!!

kayley - i think you said it best. you HAVE to deal with the way things are. period. ignoring things or pretending they dont exist dont help make things better.

well just wanted to say night all. i have a long day again shooting tomorrow

night!

Sorry, but this is going to be long again. With being sick I haven’t posted that much, but I really do like to get back to people individually, and I do tend to get a case of verbal diarrhea, so please forgive me.

Well, I’m gradually improving, health wise. Today I actually felt pretty good for ‘most’ of the day. I had a nap in the car after we had been walking around two large shopping malls, and my throat kinda hurts a little this evening, after talking a bit today. But other than that, things were almost back to normal. I spent a few hours this afternoon with a lovely 11 year old girl. I taught her a couple of years ago and became good friends with her mum (you’ve probably heard me ‘talk’ about my dietitian friend) and today we went out shopping for birthday presents for her mum as well as a few other things. It was lovely to spend some time with her. She is SO sweet and really refreshing to be around. She also has good taste in clothing! She ‘convinced’ me to buy a couple of tops to start my winter wardrobe. Sadly, I will have absolutely nothing to wear this winter if I don’t start shopping soon. Mind you, I also don’t really know what size I’m going to get to, so I don’t really know what to get. I picked up a couple of size 10s today (US 8 I think) because they looked about the right size for me to wear at my target weight. Well, they actually fit well now, so that makes them REALLY roomy, as I’m sure I’m not a 10 yet. I also tried on some pyjama bottoms in a size 12 (US 10) and they fit too, so I’ve decided that pyjamas must be made to have LOTS of spare room. I have only just been able to fit into 14s, so I’m not near a 12 yet. It was flattering that they fit though. It made for an even better outing.

I bit the bullet and bought a set of kitchen scales today. I never weigh my food portions and have never had a need for scales. I truly don’t like cooking that much, but I’ve found a low GI recipe for apricot almond cookies that I want to try. The first thing that appealed to me is that they only have 5 ingredients, which is my kind of recipe. I think that’s what I don’t like about cooking, all the ingredients you have to get to perhaps only use once. I’ll let you know how they turn out. I haven’t had cookies for a long time, and don’t really ‘need’ them, but I thought that they may make a good treat now and then. I’m hoping that they will freeze.

I am looking for a few variations to what I’ve been eating because my dietitian friend looked at my food diary for a week and told me I’m not eating enough. That was kind of a relief, because I’m always worried that she’ll want to cut out food, and I LOVE my food. I have to add more protein and a couple of other bits and pieces here and there. It is great to have someone evaluate my meals like that, or I would be running on guess work most of the time, and obviously that wasn’t working when I managed to over-exercise and not give my body enough fuel.

Anyway… now for some personal replies…

Teresa – Great to see you here! I know you will get lots of good advice and support from these wonderful people. Are you on the Slim Fast for one or two meals daily? What is your plan for your other meals? I remember when I did Slim Fast a number of years ago I lost lots of weight then put it back on again (double!) because I didn’t know what to eat when I wasn’t having the powders. A colleague has been on the powders now and then recently, but seems to have some good ideas for other meals, so I think they must have more information about that with the program. Your target of 1lb by your birthday is very sensible and you may find that you surprise yourself with how you go. Good luck! Oh, and how did the job interview go? I hope you were successful. What job would you have at the school? I’m an elementary teacher – grade 2.

MsCrockett – Well done on the 3lb loss!!! A wonderful achievement! Must be all that wood packing. At least there is SOME benefit to all that work. I’m glad that your dad is better, but I’m even MORE glad that you were finding time for YOU. Good move!

Lilion – I’m SO glad that your mood improved. The thought of you assaulting someone was not a pleasant one… well, I’m sure you would have gained SOME pleasure from the deed, but we would have missed you while you were ‘away’. I can understand your frustrations with the fluctuating weights. As you say, you have to stick with it, because it is SO easy to see how quickly it could keep going up if we slackened off a little on our vigilance.
I am sorry that your eliptical is still sitting on the floor waiting to be put together. I would be TOTALLY lost if hubby didn’t put my equipment together. I can usually follow instructions really well, but not the ones that have come with those. I hope you have a great time on it once it is in working order.
Your NSVs were a great inspiration and I can see that you are a lot more positive about how things are going than you were earlier.
Oh, funny you mentioned crossing your legs. That was something I was SO pleased I could do and I didn’t even realize that it bothered me that I COULDN’T do it. I feel SO lady-like when I cross my legs now. It’s not really comfortable yet, as I’m still not used to it, but I do it anyway, just to feel good.

Heather – The feedback on hubby’s interview sounds REALLY positive. I can’t wait to hear what the result is.

Catherine – It is good to hear of someone else who has decided to avoid a ‘poisonous’ person, even if it is a close family member. I have been avoiding visiting my parents because every visit just seems to bring me down for some reason or other. They are now VERY happy with how I am going, which shows me just how UNhappy they were with me before. And now they just put down other overweight people when they are talking to me, which shows me what they thought about me being overweight before. Funny thing is that they are both obese. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Are they that totally blind? Anyway, I’m not sure how many more excuses I can come up with. I wish I just had the courage to tell them how I feel, but I don’t want to hurt them as much as they have hurt me. Silly or what?
I hope you manage to survive the night without hubby. I am hopeless when hubby has to be away. It only happened for one week very early in our relationship and we both cried every night on the phone. We haven’t been apart since and I’d be a wreck if we were I think.
It was interesting that you mentioned about the person in the checkout near you. I have noticed myself being SO much more aware of nutritional values of foods and I am constantly wanting to let people know that they should be making better choices. I know that I would have been extremely insulted if someone had ever said anything to me before, so I manage to keep my mouth closed. I truly just want to help, but I know it wouldn’t help in the least. I wonder now if that’s what people were trying to do when they were looking at my shopping cart before. I know some would have just been snickering, but others may have been wanting to educate me. You’ve got me wondering now.

Julee – I’ve forgotten when your birthday is. I hope I haven’t missed it. It sounds as though you had a lovely early birthday dinner. I’m hoping that by ‘early’ you mean a few days early and I will still be able to wish you a happy birthday. I’m glad that your eye problem just ended up being an infection. Still not good, but better than pinkeye. I LOVE your new avatar. What a great pic! I want hubby and I to get remarried some time after I get to my target weight, just to get a new wedding photo done! Isn’t that vain!!!???LOL We didn’t have any earlier pics that look as good as yours, and I miss that.

Dogpal – The way you talk about your new job tells me that you are SO suited to that work. I’m sure you will be perfect for the position and you will just love it. I’m glad that they ‘saw the light’ and recognized your potential. I look forward to hearing how your first week goes. Huge congratulations on the 10lb loss! I could year you cheering from here!

Luan – I’m going to assume that you are going to be using the $1200 worth of makeup and supplies AT school and not be wearing that much TO school. That must be quite the collection. Is that all you will need for the year, or will you need to add things as you go along? It sounds like it is going to be so much fun!
Have fun ‘shooting’ tomorrow. Wow! It sounds exciting just saying that. What a great experience it must be to take part in ‘shooting’. Will you still fit that in with school? I’m not sure if you’ve said.

Kayley – I have been REALLY impressed with the amount of exercise you are getting in lately. You have made such a great commitment to this and I just know that you are going to do well. I’m really glad that you have worked out your travel plans for your trip to Chicago. How exciting! I wish I was able to make trips away like that. Where I live, on the west coast of Australia, has been said to be the city furthest away from any other major city in the world. We basically have to FLY to get to any other capital city in Australia, unless we want to be driving for days. I can imagine the fun you will have at the concert. Oh… and your pic looks great. You look quite ‘sweet’ in it, but that is kinda a ‘cheeky’ smile. It is a good pose. Did Andrew take it? It looks like the way you would look at him.

Heather – Please don’t feel bad about not noticing too much with the first 100lb loss. I’m sure I had lost that much and people were only just beginning to notice and I was only just noticing things that were different in my life. Most of my changes have been with this 2nd 100lbs. I’m almost there now, but I see changes almost weekly, which is SO exciting. So just be patient (easier said than done I know – I am the LEAST patient person I know, so I really shouldn’t give this advice) and you will soon see some dramatic changes.

Jill – I think the thing with the clothes is that we wear such big and baggy clothes when we are 350lbs or more that we don’t really have to get anything smaller, as we are used to them being baggy. That was my problem anyway. I dropped a few sizes before I bothered to buy anything new, and I think that was only because my pants were going to fall down on me. I think that is also why people don’t notice the weight loss either. When I finally bit the bullet and bought some new clothes I got SO many comments.

Erin – Great to see you here! I have NO idea what LA Weight Loss is, but I hope you have great success with it and I look forward to hearing more from you. You have had a good loss so far, so something must certainly be working well for you. You have definitely come to the right place for encouragement, support and great advice. Isn’t it wonderful to find somewhere where people know exactly where you are coming from, where you want to get to, and why you want to get there?

Nancy – I think it is great that you can have a more ‘relaxed’ weekend and still maintain. I am SO looking forward to being able to do that. I don’t think I can at the moment though. It seems as though I can’t get too slack with my routine or the scales let me know about it. I should be able to some time though. I just have to work out WHAT I can have that won’t do that to me. I may have to start experimenting when I get to my target weight.
It is interesting that you talk about the pains in your side. For a while there that was happening to me. It was like a ‘stitch’, but they just started one day, out of the blue. I tried the slowing down and deep breathing too, but that didn’t always work. I would just exercise through them as best I could, which probably wasn’t the best thing to do. I never thought to ask anyone about them, but now I think about it, they just stopped as quickly as they started. I probably got them for a couple of weeks, then nothing. It wasn’t until you mentioned them that I realized that I don’t get them any more. Strange. I wonder if I was lacking in something nutritionally and just fixed them up by catering for that. Not sure what it could have been. This is why I have to journal more, so I know what is happening, when it is happening and hopefully WHY it is happening. If I work anything out, I’ll run it by you to see if you are doing something similar.
I breathed a sigh of relief when you posted that you had sorted out the checks. I am HOPELESS at bookkeeping of any kind and your problem would have had me in a major ‘tizz’. And I have to disagree with you on one point – I think you look GREAT in your photo. It really is a lovely photo. I think that it is wonderful to have all these pics of people to look at while we read what they are ‘saying’.
The ipod is a great reward for exercising! Something to move to and keep you even more motivated. I’ve been seriously trying to think of a reward for reaching my target weight, but I haven’t come up with anything yet. It should be a winter wardrobe, but I will probably have to buy that in installments. We don’t really have the finances for anything too big, so I’ll have to wrack my brains a little more I think.

Teahoney – Welcome back! As people will tell you, it’s not the ‘falling off’ that is the problem, it’s the never getting back up again. You have come back up and that is the first step to a wonderful new life. We will help you in any way we can.

Wyllen – I LOVE your photo! I thought your dogs were cute, but I much prefer looking at you. I love your hair, please tell me that the body and wave came out of a bottle. My hair has absolutely NO body and is VERY fine and straight. YUCK!

Brandnewme – Well done on focusing on the things you CAN change at the moment. The other things can be sorted out gradually as you come to them, but at least you know you can do something now. And I’m sure the horses will return sometime to help you get your ‘wagon’ into order. I would imagine that working a 60 hour week would tempt even me to jump from the wagon. I’d beat the horses to wherever they were heading! You have done well to stay in one piece after all that work. I hope you manage to get some well-earned rest.

Amber – I was SO sorry to hear about the death of your cousin. I’m sure you have been such a wonderful asset to the family at this time, but I hope that you also find some YOU time soon, as you sound as though you deserve and need it.

Well, if you’ve managed to ‘wade’ through all this, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

Take care,

Zelma

Nancy -- I just got a 4GB nano this past week (I was sick of moving songs on and off the old one which had a tiny drive) and so far I love it!

Brandnewme -- This journey is really long and really hard, even under the best of circumstances. So, when things get tough in other ways, this journey gets tougher too. That sucks, I know, but it sounds like you have a good plan for things to focus on. If this is for life, then I guess we all have to learn how to cope with the curves we're thrown, and it sounds like you are doing just that!

Amber -- What a tough time you are going through. My condolences! Find some you time when you can and remember this is a long journey, and a quick detour is okay.

Zelma -- The curls are all me. I used to HATE my curly hair when I was a kid and everyone had the flip farrah fawcett do's, but now I love it... well, most of the time. In my avatar my hair is a bit straighter than normal (and a bit more flyaway too!)

Jilly-I guess it shows my age that I don't even know how to download a song, let alone a free one. I heard someone say that companies are making a mistake making the 15-30 age group their key demographic when they don't pay for music. Most CD sales fall in my age group, because we have always paid for albums. We used to loan albums back and forth, and made a few tape copies, but mostly we liked holding the artwork in our hands.

Zed-My mom also made fun of other large people in my presence. What really made me laugh is that she always told me how her mother had rode her about her weight, and that she would never do that to me --- REALLY!!! I can't remember a time when she didn't mention it. As for people looking in my cart at things, I used 24 hour grocery stores late at night and drive through windows. No one saw my eating most of the time. When people did say things it was mostly old men for some reason, and I just wanted to deck them.

Brandnew-I sucks having money trouble doesn't it. The government here is actually deducting $200 a month from my husband's check because of how much money I make. If I was Canadian, they wouldn't. I'm going to appeal/contest it at some point, but until my immigration stuff goes through, I've decided not to make too many waves. There has actually been talk in the states about farm subsities needing to go to farmers who grown things like green leafy's instead of corn(that stuff they make high fructose sweetner from) and tobacco. I used to love those signs that said stuff like it would be great if schools had everything they needed, and the Air Force had to have bake sales to buy new bombers. I'm waiting for the day when the dollar menu has salmon and asparagus on it. Just do what you can, while you can, and give yourself a break. It sounds like you both need it.

Zelma - That is so great that you are able to buy a whole new wardrobe. I know that someday (hopefully), I will be able to do the same thing, but it just seems so far away. It's really nice that your friend is a dietician! As for my picture, I took it one early morning (around 2am), while Andrew was in the shower. I like my smile enough, but I hate how my cheeks are so pudgy! I know it all comes with time, and they are already smaller, but I'm also an EXTREMELY impatient person!! Also doesn't help that my hair was really grown out...roots are showing horribly! But I'm on the fence about what to do next with it, since my job sorta limits me with creativity...heh. And I thought MY town was secluded! lol...I live in a teeny tiny town, where even the High School shut down due to lack of students. We have to drive about 30 mins to get to a mall or any GOOD stores. I'm in Michigan, but Chicago is only about 90 miles away, so we're going to take the train out there...it's fairly cheap (considering how much gas is), and fairly easy. Going to catch the subway once we get there, so it should be an adventure! (Probably already said this, but I'm just highly excited!) As for your parents, I never understand how an obese person can talk about another obese person, as they are pretty much in the same boat. Granted, I think that when thin people talk about obese people, it's horrid, but for some reason when obese people do, it makes me wanna hurt people....(Not saying that I don't other times, though....sometimes... I'm such a contradiction to myself).

Jill - Ooooh! I was under the impression that I could only use the music I BOUGHT to put on my Ipod. Seems like I heard that from somewhere or something! THANKS for the info! Now to save up...ugh.

Wyllenn - Mornin!

Got a pretty good night's sleep (for once) last night. I figured out why I was feeling so run down last night, and it's because I forgot to take my vitamins. Who knew? But I've taken them this morning, and I'm just waiting until I WAKE UP a little more, before I head into the living room to work out. I've got the house to myself for a few hours, so I'm going to take advantage!

I LOVE being able to see everyone's faces!!!
Zelma: My birthday is Thursday, March 2.

This week will be insanity but sooooo much fun...yay!

Off to get my day started...