Sounds like an excellent plan. BRAVO for him DOING SOMETHING positive about it. My DH just complains and runs in a vicious cycle and I too, get angry about their issues and also am impartial like you described. My DH makes tons of excuses as to why he cant go to therapy, plus MIL is a huge proponent of therapy and he sees how little its done to help her. Anyway, not about me...I just wanted to say that I am proud you guys made this decision, I think its for the best

WTG Mary, Your husband is so lucky to have such a smart, supportive wife. You guys are definitely doing the right thing.

Mary - so glad to see you back and posting - and WOW - so great that you are dealing with this problem with the EMIL before it festers more and your DS begins to understand it.

Julie

Wow, Mary! I think you should be sainted. You are handling everything so well, and really have a great attitude, really wanting what is best for Erik.

I have a couple of comments. First off, about your MIL calling Eli delayed, if you don't know, Albert Einstein was a delayed talker. He had such a hard time learning to talk that they thought he was "slow" and look at what a genius he turned out to be!!! Here is a link for ya... http://home.cwru.edu/~sjr16/20th_people_einstein.html

I was in the opposite position from you with the MIL problem. My mother "tolerated" my husband when we first got married. Granted, I had known him only 2 months when I married him, and they had met him only once, but they should have respected my decision. Nope... she put him down every chance she got. It wasn't until one Christmas when we were at their house and she was being especially b*tchy to him when I'd had enough. I said something to the effect that if she didn't want him here, that was fine with me. She misunderstood and thought I meant that HE could leave. She said, "If he wants to leave that's fine by me." I said, "If he goes, I go, and if he's not welcome here, you won't see me or the kids here." I told him to pack up the van, we were going home. He never questioned me, just started putting stuff into the van. Daddy talked with me (through all my tears, because I am not a confrontational person) and asked if we would please stay. Mother was saying something and Dad swatted her on the bottom and told her to get upstairs.

To make a long story short, Dad talked me into staying. Mom told David she would try harder to be nice (after Dad talked privately with her) and things went in an opposite direction from that moment on. My mother thinks the world of David now, and even when we separated last year (after almost 28 years of marriage) she never said one bad word about him and was probably as happy as I was when we reunited.

Dad died in 1992, and to this day I don't know what he said to Mother, but whatever it was made her do a complete change.

All this to say that you are absolutely doing the right thing. It isn't your place to say anything to her. It's Erik's. My heart hurts for you and what you have endured these years. I am sure the therapy will help both of you deal with this.

Keep being the sweetheart you are!

Regina, Your story brought tears to my eyes. That is so great that you all worked things out. I have had a lot trouble w/my MIL. My DH has been so mad at her over the years that she lucky to have seen our family at all. DH is like you were, telling her that we are a package deal. Someday I hope that we can get along better. I really hate all of the animosity. Oh well.....

looks like lots of us have this inlaw issue in common Hey, wheres that storybook family where all the sides get along and mesh into one- yea right!

Repo, that is so sad. I hope that you too will one day work it out with MIL. I had a wonderful MIL with my first marriage. As a matter of fact, she told me that our two children and I could move in with her hand FIL. She told ex that he couldn't.

With second marriage I wasn't so lucky. Hubby's mother (and father) died before I came along. David says we would have gotten along great! Her middle daughter was my best friend until she died the same day my dad died. What a shock that was! Everyone said Joyce (SIL) was just like her mom, so I think we would have gotten along great also.

Mary,
What a sweet article, and a nice tribute to your dad. Isn't life strange sometimes, 2 friends crossing over so close together. Your dad must have been a really great guy. Thanks for sharing the article with us. Katie

Mary,
Unbelievable story about you brother's *itch!!! (Sorry, I'm not usually so crass, but my goodness!). More importantly, thank you for sharing the article about your father. He sounds like he was quite a blessing to your whole community.

Mary- sounds like your dad was quite a guy. I to think it comforting to know that he and his close friend passed away so close! As for your DBGF or whatever she sounds like a real weiner uh I mean winner. NOT! Hopefully he will get tired of her taking advantage of him and realized that he could do SO much better! Hang in there!

Marbear, my continual prayers are with you and your family for your loss. What a devastating time of year this is for you. Holidays can be depressing on its own, but to lose two loved ones around this time is unimaginable to me. Please catch the love hugs that I am sending to you.

Regarding that demon MIL, I think both possessed and mentally ill applies to her. Do not let her affect you and your families life especially not your innocent child.

You are better than me. Cause this woman would have gone straight off on her A$$. She is going to continue her bad behavior as long as she thinks she can get away with it. ENOUGH, IS ENOUGH. Put your foot down and let her know what is no longer acceptable from her bad attitude toward you and your family. I am getting off of my soap box cause that ran my blood pressure up just reading your post and I wasn't even there.

God bless you and yours Marbear. Stay strong.